You're a careful person. You smoke but not too much, you know precisely how many packs you've bought between now and the end of last month. You know what the cameras ask for. Charismatic expression, neighbourhood ahjussi smile, calculated façade. Sometimes, though, you're caught by in-betweens. Three Meals a Day zoom-in on a blank, thoughtful stare, written off with the 4D idol label. Netizen comments are always on your side, because you're a careful person.

You're a careful person. You let people get close. You let some people into your heart, so, so far inward that they've reached something, some petrified amber of your soul grazed by smiles, gestures. The waning half-moon eyes of Lee Minwoo. The ever-cheerful disposition of Kim Dongwan. The subtle maturity of Lee Sunho. The roaring laughter of Park Choongjae. But you're careful, ever so careful. Grazing the surface is grazing the surface.

You're a careful person, so how could you have allowed those slim, pale fingers grab onto it? Squeeze it until it cracks, hollow at the core, echoing into receding memories and beyond, so deeply, irreversibly?

You're a careful person, but you break a vase on your foot. On purpose or by accident, you aren't sure.

"How did you hurt your ankle?" Hyesung asks the next day.

You tell him you tripped over the curb.