It’s been a further week since this last encounter at school and I think I really have lost my best friend… my only best friend in this hellish school- and all because of my bloody hormones.

And I know it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t within my control- nor anyone else’s, had the positions been reversed with some other unfortunate bunch of lads.

It’s not like I was attracted to my friend!

And yet, that’s what he seems to think… or whatever it was that his crazy brother had instilled in him to think.

I felt so insecure… I mean, of course I did.

I'd effectively got off on him-!

Urghh heck- even thinking about it was gross!

But I did- and I sorta see his viewpoint in that being reaaaaaaally gay.

But it’s not like I planned it or wanted it to happen. I was trying to push him away up until the very last second!

It was just the position… just the stupid bloody wrestling and now I feel totally crap about everything. Of every single second, of every bloody minute, of every lousy day…

And my mum knew why… and she would come up to check on me every day afterschool when I was doing my homework- asking how school had gone. And I would routinely lie as I’ve begun to do, and say it was all fine~

But she knew it wasn’t… And I knew she knew.

I’d told her me and L.joe were no longer friends and hence the reason for the lies.

Because maybe if I could just pretend everything was ok, things would actually go back to normal…

“Did you explain to him properly??” She asked me yet again, for the hundredth time since last week.

“Yes…”

“So why is he behaving like this to you? Why can’t you still hang out-?”

“Because his stupid brother- I begin angrily, before catching the warning look on my mother’s face, “Er… I mean, his older brother doesn’t like anything that seems…. Well, er…. Queer... Hence, L.joe now thinks if we stayed friends it would be 'gay' or something and doesn’t talk to me anymore.”

“Oh my gosh…. Now that really is ridiculous!” She cries, and shaking her head to the side with a surprised look on her face. “I thought today’s generation were learning to be more open minded about this sorta stuff nowadays-?”

“Nope…. Not really mum.” I moan back, rolling my pencil between my fingers as I look back down to the maths work before me.

“But, just because Byunghun’s brother feels this way- why should Byunghun ignore you for? You’re not gay,” she states firmly, before a sudden look of concern crops into her eyes- “Oh, but even if you were- that doesn’t matter AT all honey! And he shouldn’t think any less of you because of it-“

“Arghhh, mummm! I’m NOT gay!” I cry, and flopping face first onto the wooden desk to try and block her out.

See, THIS is why I didn’t like to tell her things…

“I know, I know.” She placates, “But I just wanted to make sure you knew that I wouldn’t care if you were…”

“Mum…. The issue at hand is my lack of best friend right now, that’s all…”

“Ok, ok. Well honey, I think you may just have to try and get through to him again.” She decides, and sending me an encouraging smile as she did so. “Perhaps go to his place or something- somewhere away from school, and other judgemental people who could sway his opinions of you. Somewhere you two can just talk it out in peace. His older brother still tutors those year 9 students in the evenings at the moment, doesn’t he-?”

                                                                                                                      **************

And thus the idea was formed- the insane idea to go straight around to L.joe’s house that very Saturday, to march right up to the doorway with my heart pounding out of my chest and the most craziest plan of attack in my head to this date.

One in which my mother had NO clue about whatsoever…. And one that was most certainly gonna end in either total devastation or victory on my behalf-

For it was the only way to make L.joe understand what had happened that day; that 1) it wasn’t my fault and 2) it wasn’t gay in ANY way whatsoever.

I mean…. the fact that I was planning to do this was more than a little weird- I can admit to that! And I was feeling really unsure about it all to be honest, but then again, what choice did I have??

I wasn’t about to enter high school friendless!

And thus, I took one last deep breath of air, straightened out the bottom hem of my t-shirt and knocked loudly on his front door.

What seemed like hours but could only have been a minute- the blonde answered.

“You-?“ he says in surprise, as a deadpanned look comes over his features. “What on earth are you doing here man-?”

“I came to talk you around.” I state boldly, and taking a step towards him.           

“Chan- Chunji,” the blonde corrects himself, as my nickname springs perfectly back onto his lips. “You can’t be here anymore- you know this.”

“Just let me in man, don’t be such a !” I quip firmly, not ready to take any of this nonsense now that I was oh so close…

“What the hell-?? Dude, you can’t come in! My parents are home and they won’t let you in either.”

“Your parents aren’t home till 5:30!” I counteract smartly, calling his bluff as I realise they both finished work at 5pm. As for his brother…

“Yeah well, Jonghyun is just upstairs and he’ll-“

“Your brother’s at tutoring, man. You forget that we USED to be best friends-?” I cut in harshly. “You can’t lie to me.”

 “Y-yes he is, he’s just-“

“Liar,” I accuse firmly. “Get out the way-“ Shoving the teen aside I slam the door shut behind me, before striding straight over to his nearest couch-

This would do just fine-

“Chanhee-! Dude, get the hell out of my house!” the boy yells after me, hurrying to catch up now as I near the first four seater lounge.

“You’re house?” I laugh, as he reaches out to grab my arm from behind. “Pfft you wish bro-!”

“Chunji-“

“No!” I scream and wrenching my arm free from his grasp as I pull the teen towards me and yank his body around by the shoulders. “Just shut the  up Byunghun! God, you just treat me like a piece of crap-!”

His face is emotionless with shock and he blinks blankly back at me-

Gritting my teeth I roughly push him back wards onto the sofa, his body making a light thud as he falls, before clambering my way on top of him-

“Omg- dude get the hell off me!” the boy yells at once, fighting my limbs every step of the way now as I effectively straddle his lower body and firmly clench my hands around his wrists.

Twisting his body my figure almost hitches to the side, as I gare angrily back at him and feel my breathing teeters out of control-

“Just stop it!” I demand loudly, rough and low in my throat as I try to scare the other teen- try to intimidate the boy and make my best friend vulnerable right now as I stare angrily back down at him. “You’re such a pathetic loser- just stop bloody moving!”

Lowering his feet back to the floor I feel his torso begging to relax beneath me, hurt coming readily over his features despite the way his arms try to disentangle themselves from my reach.

“Right…. Now L.joe; how do you feel being the one trapped on the bottom- huh??” I demand, and just a little out of pitch might I say, as my voice cracks midway and my mind seems to hit that never breach area of pure craziness.

Woahhhh… what am I doing-??

Ok Chanhee, maybe you shouldn’t actually go through with this plan anymore-! My mind screams at me.

“What-? Nothing to say now big guy?? No sharp jabs or cruel words-??” I yell, gritting my teeth tighter as my jaw muscles begin to ache.

He was such an arsehole! After all this time... after all these years of friendship he just up and ditches me to the trash??

Let’s me sit all alone at school like that, not even bloody looking at me as the kids gossiped behind my back-?? Thinking I was the one who destroyed our once so close mateship??

“Chunji, what are you doing-?”

“I said shut up!” I cut in, shaking my head at him as I feel the warmth shining in my eyes from the pure fury bleating through my chest right now.

No…

He was gonna be the one who listened this time, he was gonna be the one to understand.

Shifting my knees up; my left moves across his right thigh before dropping it in between the gap of his thin black legged school pants-

“Wah- dude, the hell-?” he tries to speak, confusion spreading all over his already befuddled expression now as I tighten my grip on his arms and hold my self firmly atop his thin figure.

“There… now we’ll just sit, Byunghun. Just sit and wait.” I declare, a vindictive little smirk pulling at my face now as my heart thudded out of control in my chest.

Holy , Chunji- what are you doing??

What are you even doing in his house-?

REVENGE??

Are you bloody serious-?

What are you five years old???

What if his parents come home early-?

Or what if he bloody hits you??

Swallowing thickly I feel my eyes disconnect from his own, as I try to get a grip of the nervous butterflies swirling through my stomach.

I knew this was wrong….

I did.

But he wouldn’t listen to me anyway other way-

And if he wouldn’t listen….

Then I’d just have to SHOW him-

“What are you even talking about?” L.joe speaks, calmer and somehow less volatile then he’d just been- “Wait for what-??”

“You’ll see-“ I snap, as I push my body closer to his own, shuffling atop his crotch now as I feel the urge to run rip through my veins.

The teen’s body freezes beneath me- eyes instantly halting in place as I roll my body into his own;

“Chunji, omg what the heck are you doing??” Byunghun cries, as again I pull my body forwards and rub my knee up against his groin-

Oh, it was gonna happen.

He was no in saint…

I’d stay here until it did- no matter how long that may take!

“, you sick little freak-!” he screams and at once the switch seems to flick inside his head as anger morphs back onto his face and he violently tries to push me away and off of his body-

“Get off-! Get out of my house!! You erted little -“

My gaze intensifies into ice, and I feel my insides coiling by the second as pure hatred swims through my gut-

Oh, what did he just call me???

“ you, L.joe! You’re gonna sit here trapped, just like I was and you’re gonna feel it whether you want to or not-!“

A slither of anxiety flashes onto my friend’s expression and frowning his body twists helplessly to one side- trying and failing to escape as I forcefully hold him down-

Hmm… is that discomfort I see-?

Well, the stupid idiot should of thought of that before storming out of my house that day, now shouldn’t he?!

Panting above him, I try to calm my frazzled nerves down, trying to get a grip right now as I stare down into L.joe’s calculating expression.

“Chunji, don’t be an idiot. You know this is all crazy man-”

….

My heart continues to thud and I carefully lean my head closer to his as my body carefully shifts and slides down his own-

It was crazy...

I knew this too.

My fingers are still tight over his flimsy wrists and refusing to let them budge, even an inch, I feel his arms going lax beneath me-

“C’mon man…. Give it a rest, yeah-? My parents could rock home any second now, you really want them to see you like this??”

Nope…

I sure as hell wasn’t falling for that one-

I que into the frantic pulse beneath my fingertips, heat now radiating up my inner thighs as I bite my inner lip in concentration and try to recall the way he’d tripped me up those few weeks ago-

He was moving a hell of a lot more against me- and that’s what made it so bad when I was starting to struggle back…

But L.joe’s being all rigid now since I yelled at him….how was I supposed to get him to move again-??

, Chanhee. Why are you such an idiot for-??

Frowning I take the plunge and dip my head down close to his face- right up in his line of vision as he tries to shirk back in response.

“It won’t take long now…” I hum teasingly, before dipping even lower and bluffing my way in for a kiss-

“Oh jesus-!! Chunji, get the hell off, what are you even thinking right now??? Holy dude, were you actually gonna try and kiss me-??”

But I’m not listening; I’m far too pre-occupied in staying on top right now and keeping his arms in my grasp as I roll my body back into his own.

“Chunji!! Helloo-???”

I feel his lower legs trying to pitch upwards to kick me off, and just like that his crotch is even tighter against my left knee as I smile sweetly back-

Perfect-

“So, you wanna talk about how you were such a jerk to me last sleepover, huh? You ready to admit it now-?” I demand righteously, grinding back down his front as his breath suddenly catches in his throat.

“I-I wasn’t a jerk!” He denies, anxiously. “I was doing the right thing and you know it! This is all ed up man, when I tell my brother he’ll-“

“Oh he’ll what, Byunghun?? Huh-? You really gonna tell him I barged my way into your house to have you lay on the sofa and let me molest you-?? Is that it-?”

Urgh…. Don’t even say that dude!! My brain demands in sheer panic.

What the hell is THAT all about anyway-??

Gaping back at me, the blonde’s lips part in evident horror at what I’d just implied-

Because, yep-

There was no way in hell he could ever tell anyway about this. Not now…

Cause he’d only look like a too.

I raise my brows in silent challenge, before the teen beneath me instantly starts to struggle-

Pushing and pulling and twisting his body out from beneath my own, so much so that he almost manages to get free, as his arm slips temporary from my grip and he pushes squarely at my chest-

Gripping his wrist I feel the way his breathings escalating beneath my weight and glancing down I note how rapidly his chest is now rising and falling-

“Ahhh… it's happening now, isn’t it-?” I ask softly, as I teasingly rub my body into his groin once more, eliciting a choked breath of air form his lungs-

“W- what’s happening-??” He blushes guiltily, as his muscles tense beneath me and his right leg comes up into a bend by my side. “en get off of me-!“

But no-

Nup, I was so bloody close now. This boy was going to know-

I lean down lower and smile innocently in his face, instantly making his lip curl back at me as he snarls in anger-

“Urghhhh!!!!! I’m going to in kill you-!!” Violently twisting against me, I slip up onto his side now, finally reclaiming his one fee limb as my own before trying to plant fake kisses onto his cheeks.

“Chunji!”

Making the boy wiggle and shake beneath me even more, right up to the point that I begin to feel a strange pulse of desperation leak into the air between us and I pull my eyes up to meet him-

“Chanhee, g-get off of me-” he pleads, voice dramatically different to his outburst of rage mere seconds prior as I breathe hot and victorious into his face.

“And why should I-?” I whisper lowly.

And dammit Chunji, he was about ready by now, surely!

What the heck are you still doing on top of him-???

You don’t want him to actually cu-

But instead; I begin to slowly pull my knee up and down against the soft surface right between the teens thighs, as the intimacy of just what on earth I was doing began knocking uncomfortably hard against my chest wall.

“Chunji- Chunji please, don’t-“

He gasps quietly, trembling in my grip now as his arms go weak in my grasp.

And its only here that I realise he’s about to cry. Expression flickering dangerously between desperate relief and frantic horrified panic-

Blinking, I feel shocked guilt flooding into my veins and at once I cease my movements as the boy moans gently beneath me-

Oh god…

I’d taken this way too far….

“Do you get it now-?” I ask carefully, trying to remain firm with him as I bring this experiment to an instant halt. “Do you feel it??”

“I-I…” But the teen doesn’t even mange to make a sentence in reply as his body continues to shake beneath me. Shoulders pulling up to his neck, as tears begin to fall precariously from his eyes.

“Well???” I jab, letting go of his right arm as he teeters on the very edge of a full on melt down.

Chunji, you have to apologise to him!

You have to explain-

“Means you’re a too- right?” I ask, soft and much gentler now, as I lower my head closer to his own.

“W- why would y- you…??” the boy gasps beneath me, instantly dissolving into full- fledged sobs as he easily pushes my body off of his own and rolls onto his side.

Glancing down I note the distinct tenting going on in his black school pants as a smirk instantly befalls my features.

This was it….

Now surely he would understand-

Crying deeply into his hands, I hear the choking back of rough sobs- confusion raking through the lad’s chest as I carefully sit myself down beside him on the couch.

“I’m sorry man…..this was the only way.” I say weakly, and feeling my high spirit plummet with his very expression right now.

I mean, I should be happy. Right-??

Satisfied that I was indeed right and that the idiot finally saw what it was like to have no control over it-

What it felt like to feel confused and vulnerable…

But I didn’t… I just felt like .

Nausea bubbles to life in my intestines and swallowing awkwardly I reach out a hand to place on the boy’s shaking shoulder.

“L.joe I’m really, really sorry…. I know you’re not gay either. It just- just happens…. And now you understand that, right?”

Pulling his face upwards, the teen sniffs loudly against his tear soaked hands as he casts his blurry eyes my way; before instantly pulling himself into a seated position and throwing his arms around my body.

Crying into my shoulder I feel my friend’s tears soak a little patch into my shirtfront as his fingers clench onto my clothes, desperately keeping me in place-

“Omg… you bloody son of a bi-“ The teen begins to ramble, indecent words spilling easily from his lips as his shoulders continue to tremble against me.

“I-I just…. Oh god, no... Chanhee- I-I’m sorry…..” he gasps, sobs choking him off here as my grip only tightens around his back.

I think I may have just won my best friend back after all…

“No, I’m sorry man.” I object swiftly. “I shouldn’t have done that… I didn’t mean to make you so angry and upset-“ I attempt to explain, as guilt continues to simmer away at my stomach, churning sickly within my body. “I just wanna go back to how things were L.joe. Forget about all this ….please…”

“T-This makes me just as bad…. Doesn’t it-? Oh god, Chanhee what’s wrong with me??” the boy asks, coughing against his tears now as he tries to sniff the emotion back in, breathing shakily before me.

“Nothing!” I brush harshly and shoving the teen’s shoulder back just a tad as he tries to pull himself together. “Dude, snap out of it! It’s ok. I told you it’s all fine, this is normal! It’s not our fault, so please; let’s just get back to how things were- yeah?“

Nodding slowly the teen meets my gaze, roughly wiping his face with the back of his hand as he releases his grasp at my waist.

“O-ok…”

“Good.” Smiling triumphantly, I pull myself up off of his couch and walk towards his front door, going to let myself out.

Maybe this would stop him from being so paranoid now…?

I duno… but at least he’d stop ignoring me!

“Chanhee-!” he calls suddenly and rapidly coming up behind me as I pull my hand back off the doorknob.

“You can’t tell ANYONE about this, right-?” he whispers, and stepping just an inch closer now as his much more familiar gaze flickers between my own.

“Duh… I’m not an idiot man. So long as you keep your mouth shut too, were all good!” I chuckle, as he twitches a small smile back at me.

“Cool….”

“Well, I’ll see ya tomorrow then man-“ And with that I make my way out of my ‘once again’ best friend’s house and down the street.

Sooo... yes-

It was a highly insane thing I did…. and I admit that!

I still feel mildly horrified with myself for having come up with it in the first place. But well, seeming as it actually worked and got the kid to fess up and stop being such a ‘brother following’ idiot, then I guess alls well that ends well~!

Just don’t try this at home with your friends, please-!