Warning: This contains slightly ual content, but since it's not all about that I didn't feel like rating this story. If you don't feel like reading it, then please click out. Thank you :) Enjoy <3

It's the 23rd of September, Kibum's 19th birthday and with that a really special day for him, but also his boyfriend Jonghyun.
It was silly, but the thought of this day made the latter really nervous for the past few weeks, to be completely honest, ever since Jonghyun figured out his uality.. more or less. While Kibum was what he viewed as 'normal' for a person their age, Jonghyun felt a bit lost and helpless as he noticed he wasn't exactly the same as other teenagers.
While others started experiencing their - and love life at a much younger age, Jonghyun was a to all these things until his 18th year of life. Well, actually the only thing that changed by then was that he had his first kiss ever with a guy he definitely would love to replace with the sweetheart he has now been with for roughly one and a half years.
Kibum on the other hand was just like everyone else around Jonghyun, he was one of the people in school who had several lovers over the years and had it all. All, everything, things Jonghyun felt like crying about when only thinking about it, but not because his boyfriend had experience and wasn't his first, no. The reason for his behavior was simply himself and his fear of intimacy.
Jonghyun always wondered what was wrong with him, he felt more distanced to people, he was less into skinship and felt really uncomfortable when it was about romance he could possibly experience in real life and not just in movies.
Jonghyun had dates before, two guys were so lucky to be completely disappointed by him, what was something Jonghyun always cared and worried about even though it was not his job to please the people he was going out with.
He knew he just couldn't satisfy their needs, at least that's what he thought, since he felt way too uncomfortable around them. In his eyes, they had expectations he could never come after and that's why he just quit trying to fit in after having the worst date and worst first kiss of his life on December 12th, three years ago.

Jonghyun  was sitting next to Kibum, both just relaxing together, the younger playing something on his phone as both of them waited for a commercial break to be over so they could continue watching the nice movie they discovered would be shown on TV that night.
It was already late, only a few hours of Kibum's birthday left and that's why Jonghyun was thinking about all this, all these things he felt so uncomfortable with.
He though about his plan, his desire, all the love he held for the one next to him and could feel how his body slowly started to shake.
Was this the time.. was this the night they would have their first time ? Would Jonghyun be able to give himself to someone entirely ?
He started to doubt it with every second passing, but he treasured Kibum so much and he wanted to give something back after the latter always respected him and the lines he had drawn, never ever using him for any of his needs and just.. loving him for who he was.
Jonghyun felt like it was the right decision to let Kibum be his first. He was everything he ever dreamed of, everything he never thought he would have and yet he was here, bearing with Jonghyun as he didn't feel like having or any other ual intimacy with him at all, although the older perfectly knew that Kibum was a person who.. needed it, right ? 
It was hard for others to have a more or less only romantic and platonic relationship, right ? At least all he witnessed by then was people being cheated on when they wanted to wait and didn't feel ready yet or their relationship to simply break.

A shiver ran down his spine at he thought of these possibilities.
Kibum wouldn't...
right ?

It was like something inside the older snapped, he couldn't stand the thought, couldn't stand this pain that shot through his chest the moment he thought about these horrible things.
He had to do something. He had to make sure Kibum would stay.
He didn't want to lose the one he could trust without any doubts, didn't want to lose the one who was the only one Jonghyun wanted to give his heart and love to. He hoped with all his heart that every kiss and every blush on his cheeks was showing Kibum how much he meant to him and how hard he tried despite his fear and timidity, but that moment he felt like those things were silly, not important.
All he could see that moment was something going wrong just because he was so very overwhelmed from love and care, touches and ual things so that it was impossible for him to properly show someone that he loved them.
He felt so stupid, but even the words 'I love you.' were rarely slipping past his lips as much as he meant them and as much as he adored his boyfriend with everything he got.

So without him thinking any further, not listening to his heart properly which was clearly telling him not to do it, but was screaming to show Kibum all his love at the same time, his sweaty, shaking palm found its way to Kibum's thigh, his eyes following it as he did something that was even confusing the other.
The latter turned his head to his left, confusion written all over his face as he could feel Jonghyun's grip on his thigh tighten and his hand even slip further to the inner side of it, touching one of the most sensitive parts of his body.
He shuddered, feeling something in his abdomen tingle as he slightly pressed his legs together, one side of him being overwhelmed by the sensation, the other side utterly confused by this kind of touch from his lover.
What was happening was probably making both of them feel very similar and things started to get even more weird as the older promptly leaned in to let their lips melt together in a gentle, but yet so needy kiss.

"Mhmm.." Kibum protested a little, moved his head back what only caused Jonghyun's fear to grow, he didn't want to hear any questions, he didn't want to be rejected. That moment, he just couldn't stand any bit of negativity. He wanted love, he wanted confirmation. He wanted to feel desired as much as his guts were twisting and turning and making him feel extremely uncomfortable and sick about this whole situation. 
And with that in mind, he tilted his head and deepened the kiss in a way he had never done it before and would have never been able to imagine himself doing, his cheeks burning like crazy and so did his whole body actually as he leaned further and further in while feeling Kibum give in and slowly spread his legs again, not much, but enough for Jonghyun's hand to move with no trouble. Kibum's mind went blank, his eyes closed and lips moving in sync with his boyfriend's, heart racing, skipping several beats. He couldn't believe what was happening, he didn't even know what exactly was happening. 

Jonghyun doing this, being so daring.. it was something he never experienced or expected from him in any way, but as much as he enjoyed it, he could feel that something was off. There had to be something wrong, but he couldn't gain back the strength, which Jonghyun made him lose with his s