Kihyun rolled his eyes at the continued argument. He was this close to dunking them both in ice cold water to cool them off. They'd been arguing all day nonstop for petty nonsense. It had all started when I.M had accidently deleted a new song that Jooheon was working on. The younger of the two had profusely apologized even going as to far as helping the older retrieve part of the file. However, Jooheon continued to be angry. Slamming doors and making as much noise as possible to alert everyone else that he was still in a foul mood. It had started up again. Prompted by Changkyun accidently brushing past Jooheon when he was midway through rehearsing a new rap for a song he was working on. He looked across the room to Shownu, signaling that he should do something before he had to do it himself. He hated nagging at them and this fight seemed like it would need the strength of the eldest to pull rank and get the youngest two of the group to stop. 

"Look i said i was sorry. It's not like i even did anything this time. You lost your train of thought that's all. Get over it. You're still mad from earlier today i get that but i don't know what else you want me to do."

"I would like it if you stopped messing with my stuff."

"That song probably won't see the light of day anyway. The company isn't going to make you release it so just get off my back. We have to use the same system so deal with it."

Changkyun walked away from Jooheon, going towards the kitchen. Everyone was looking at them now. Wonho sitting next to me on the couch, Shownu in the kitchen looking at the spectacle, Minhyuk and Hyungwon in the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

"Dammit. It's times like these i wish it was Gun that debuted instead of you. At least he knows not to mess with my ."

Minhyuk, always the dramtic one, mouth dropped open at the confession. I could see it in his face. As soon as Jooheon said the words he regretted them. He closed his eye and mouthed a curse word. I was too scared to look at Changkyun. Their was an audible silence in the dorm. The drop of water from the faucet in the kitchen was like a thunderclap. Loud, deafening. No one said anything for a while. Too afraid to speak. Changkyun laughed and a chill ran down my spine. 

"Was that it? What you wanted to say all day? You didn't have to bite your tongue all this time. You should have just said so from the start. Everyone else has thought that way atleast once anyway. Fans, managers, everyone. All i need to do is leave right? That should fix it then."

He made his way to the door, dressed in his thin long sleeved shirt and sweatpants. I didn't know what to think. I don't think either of us did. He slipped on sneakers over his socks and walked out the door. 

"Changkyun. Changkyun get back here." Shownu shouted after him but the door had already closed. 

I turned my anger on Jooheon then. He had crossed a line he shouldn't have. I thought we had crossed that bridge. "Jooheon-"

"I know."

"Don't interrupt me when i'm speaking to you. Obviously you don't know. If you had those words wouldn't have left your mouth. I don't care what Shownu says. This is your mess so you're going to clean it up. Go find him, do what you need to and bring him home. Don't come back until you do." 

"Why are you punishing me? I know i shouldn't have said that but did i lie? Gun knows me better. He wouldn't have messed with anything that i was working on."

"And how many times have you messed with Changkyun's stuff? Should i do a count? Should i tell you times you messed with things he was working on?"

Everyone else could see fire spitting from Kihyun's eyes. The others knew not to get involved when he got this angry but Jooheon didn't seem to get the hint. He continued on anyway. 

"ANYTIME I MESSED WITH HIS STUFF IT WAS TO HELP HIM!!!! NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES YOU ALWAYS TAKE HIS SIDE."

I turned to Shownu then, "if you don't get him. I will. WHO THE HELL IS HE SHOUTING AT?"

It was then that Jooheon realized that angering Kihyun anymore would not be in his benefit. He made his way to his shared bedroom and closed the door behind of him. Their manager was not in and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. They had to figure this out on their own. As he leaned against the door he could hear the others join in the conversation. Minhyuk and Shownu actively trying to calm down a riled up Kihyun. He knew that he had crossed several lines today and tears pricked at his eyes. He hadn't meant to say those things to Changkyun but somehow before he could stop himself the words had left his lips. The urge to shed tears became even stronger. He was scared. Scared of what he'd said, scared of the fact that he might not be able to take the words back. He made his way over to the window and pulled the curtains to the side hoping to get a glimpse of the youngest on the streets below. No luck. He hoped that maybe the youngest had opted to go up to the roof to cool off a bit. It was mid-October already. It would be cold outside and Changkyun was without a coat, no wallet and no protection. He quickly pulled on a jacket, and a hat, grabbing an extra of each and made his way back out of the bedroom. The room became quiet at his entrance. He couldn't face them. He couldn't say anything to them. He followed the path Changkyun took. 

*****************************************************

I had no idea what prompted me to stomp out of the apartment in the first place. Enough people had said it for me to know that it was a comment that would not simply vanish. We had been more than a year into debut and a part of me thought that maybe my members were just that, my members. That i was not simply a replacement for Gun. An anomaly. I could feel the cold beat against my body. Penetrate my thin shirt. I had no money and no where to go. I couldn't call anyone. I buried my head further into my neck. It was late at night, so it was better for me. Less possibility of getting spotted by a fan. I kept walking. No destination in mind. I could feel myself getting cold, to the point of freezing. I couldn't think about that. I don't know how long i had been walking for but i looked up and realized i was at the Starship building. I contemplated going through the main entrance but then the security guard would question my presence there this late in the night, so i made my way around and decided to enter the building through the underground parking garage. I almost made it in until someone called out my name.

"Kyun. Kyun."

I didn't want to turn around. I wanted to pretend i didn't hear but his voice echoed throughout the mostly empty parking garage. If i gave notice to his presence i would have a lot of explaining to do. K.Will was not someone you lied to, not even if you wanted to. I turned around.

"Yes." I watched as he closed his car door, making his way around to me. He took one look at my appearance, his gazing sweeping me from head to toe.

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." 

He gave me a look, one that said he didn't believe me. He began removing his jacket, only to usher my arms into the sleeves.

"Let's go inside. You look like you're freezing."

He ushered me into the elevator and we made our way up to his workroom. I waited as per instructed until he came back later two cups in hand, one with coffee, the other had what smelled like Chamomile tea. He handed me the tea.

"If i give you coffee this late, Kihyun will kill me. Drink." 

I laughed a little at that. Kihyun was one of the youngest debuted males at the company but everyone knew he was a force to be reckoned with.

"So what happened and before you decide to lie to me just don't."

I sighed. Thought of a way to lie myself out of the situation then realized i couldn't. "Jooheon and i had a fight."

"You guys always have your squabbles."

"This time. It was different." I paused then. Not wanting to continue. Not wanting to get Jooheon in trouble. I knew K.Will. He was as strict as he was fair. 

"What did he say?" He waited but i didn't continue. "I promise he won't get in trouble for whatever he said. I know you don't want him to get in trouble but we obviously need to talk about this. Look at yourself. You looked like you left the dorm the way you were dressed and judging from the lack of a bulge in your pockets it seems you left without your wallet as well. So my guess is you walked here. Whatever he said hurt you enough that you felt you needed to get out of the dorm as you were. No where else to go."

He was right. As much as i hated to admit it, he was right. "He said he wished i wasn't in the group. That he wished it was Gun instead."

"Ah...and i thought it was something to be concerned about."

He sat back in his chair and watched me. I didn't know what to make of his statement. What did that mean? He thought i had overreacted? Made a nuisance of myself for no reason? I was starting to think that my assessment of him was wrong. 

"You think i should have just let it go? You don't know what it feels like to have to people who are supposed to support you and back you up, belittle you, like you don't matter, like you weren't the first choice. To constantly feel like you have to live up to the memory of someone else."

"No that's not what i'm saying. What i'm saying is that the position that you're standing in within the group is yours. It didn't have any name on it before it became yours. It's your place. You need to own it. You need to make others believe that you own it. If you constantly feel that you need to defend it then it was never yours. You didn't steal anyone's place. You need to stop acting like you've committed a crime. If you act like a criminal you'll get treated like one."

"So what am i supposed to do? I can't just go back and act like nothing happened."

"Don't. Go back and address it. How you address it is up to you. Your problems won't magically disappear. You need to address it. Let me tell you a story. It's about the Sistar members. Hyorin has always been the most popular. She and Bora. One time she got sick and was hospitalized. The CEO of course was concerned. He turned it into an affair of sorts. He visited her, checked up on her all the days she was there, sent a get well soon basket. The whole nine yards. A couple months before that Dasom had gone to the hospital and our CEO let's just say he hadn't rolled out the same red carpet for her the way he did for Hyorin. So Dasom, been a part of the blunt quartet that is Sistar brought it up to our CEO. She told him how she felt, that she didn't like his favoritism, she even went onto talk about it on a variety show. Things changed after that. If he can't treat all of them the same, then he had to dial back on how he treated one over the others. I'm not saying be blunt, what i'm saying is be honest about your feelings. If something bothers you, address it. Don't let it fester." He got up from where he was sitting. "Come on. I'm going to take you back to the dorm." 

I relunctantly got up after him and he pulled open his door and to my surprise, Jooheon was sitting on the floor in front of K.Will work room. 

"Did you feel guilty or did Kihyun kick you out?" K.Will addressed Jooheon.

"Both." 

I remained silent. 

"I see you have another jacket. Changkyun give me back my coat, take the one Jooheon brought for you. The two of you need to talk. If i have to hear about this after tonight, it won't end pretty not only for the two of you but for the other five at the dorm. Work out your ." He reached for his wallet and handed Jooheon a $50 bill. "Here. Take a cab back to the dorm when you're finished."

He pulled me completely out of his work room and locked the door. "Good night."

We both stood there for a while. Neither of us talking. Then Jooheon broke the silence. 

"Here." He handed me the coat and hat. "Follow me." 

I followed him up to the rooftop and we sat on some of the chairs that were there. The rooftop had been turned into a place that we could come to relax, it was well insulated although we could open it up during summertime and so when we wanted to have gatherings there. 

"I'm sorry. For saying what i said. I didn't mean-"

"Yes you did." He sighed loud.

"Ok so a part of me did but not for the reason you think. Of couse Gun would know not to mess with my stuff. He's known me a long time. A really long time. He could probably finish my sentences. That's how long he's known me. Tonight i wanted to hurt you because you hurt my feelings."

"When? I didn't say anthing."

"Yea you did. "'The song won't see the light of day...the company probably won't make you release it...' do you remember saying that?"

"Are you serious? You're angry about that?"

"Yes. Hell yes i am. You think i don't know that most of my songs won't get released. I know they're not good enough. The company makes sure i know that, i don't need my members making fun of that either."

I didn't realize that he was that sensitive about the issue. "I wasn't making fun of you. I was just angry that you were being y to me all day after i had apologized."

"The director liked that song."

What he said was so low that i couldn't hear him. "What did you say?"

"I said the director liked that song. He heard a part of when i was working late one night and he was here. I was looking forward to releasing that one and when you made me lose part of my file i guess i lost it a little."

"Damn. I'm sorry."

"I know. You didn't do it on purpose but all day i kept getting angrier and angrier because i was worried that the song wouldn't get approved anymore and you just seem to not understand how important it was to me."

"How would i know if you don't tell me. I can do a lot of things but reading minds isn't one of them."

"I just wanted to hurt you and a part of me knew the Gun comment would do that. I just didn't think you'd leave the dorm. Gun is one of my best friends and like a brother to me. You're also that but you're my member as well. My partner. I crossed a line tonight and it won't happen again. Forgive me?"

"Uhuh. I'm sorry too. About everything. I'll help you work on the song and talk to the director if you want. Tell him you losing part of the melody is my fault."

"It's okay. Just help me make a better song." We shook on it. An agreement made, the argument forgotten.

"Let's go home. I'm cold and i want my bed. How angry are the others because i left? I heard Shownu calling but i didn't answer."

"I think Kihyun will kill me if you don't come home. He told me not to come back without you. I still think he is going to kill me."

"Why?"

"I must have lost my mind. I shouted at him. He told Shownu to get me before he did. I don't think i've ever been so scared in my life. His eyes...wow. They were spitting fire. He must have been a dragon in his last life."

"He won't kill you. For sure Shownu is going to take your side."

"No. You know how Kihyun runs the dorm. His nagging is law. Let's just get something to eat and then go home a little later. The money K.Will gave us is more than enough to pay for the cab and get food."

"No. The longer we stay away the more worried he and Shownu will get and the angrier Kihyun will get. Instead lets bribe him."

"How?"

"Let's buy some chicken and bring it back with us. By the time he realize its a bribe he it would be too late to still be angry at us."

"What would i do without you? I feel like i can live again. Let's get the chicken from the place close to the dorm, he really likes that one."

We made it back to the dorm, Jooheon standing behind of me as we walked in. Everyone was in the living room in various stages of relax waiting for us. As soon as we made our way fully inside Jooheon started blabbling.

"KWill gave us money so we took a cab and bought some chicken. Let's eat. It's from the place across the street. They know we always buy from their so the owner gave us some extra. Kihyun i brought some of that special sauce for you too."

We ate in silence until Minhyuk questioned. "So where did you find him?" Wonho was quick to answer making light of the situation.

"Is he you? He probably went to the office so he wouldn't get caught. You'd make a scene and go to some cafe and get caught by fans."

"You're right. Our Changkyun isn't a trouble maker."

Soon the others joined in, making jabs at each other. All was right again in the dorm. Order restored.