Wonwoo sat staring at his phone as your name flashed on the screen. Millions of thoughts came running on his mind the second he realized you were calling. Should he answer it? Or maybe he should continue pretending he’s missed it. Again. Why would you be calling him? It’s been months since you last spoke to each other. The last one being you introducing Wonwoo to your boyfriend during graduation. It was only a few months ago but it felt the same like it did every time he remembers that moment. Hurt. Regret. Sadness. It was like that every time you were involved. And now, here you are again. Was he ready to accept you back in his life? For better or, most likely, for worse?

“Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo smiled. It was you. It was your voice. You hated your voice like everyone does when they hear themselves in recordings. But he absolutely loved it. And terribly missed it. Right now, nothing else is important. He just missed you so much that every other thought he had earlier melted away.

“Hey. You called.”

Wonwoo heard you laugh and it was enough to send butterflies in his stomach no matter how many times he’s heard it before.

“I called? You mean you answered. I’ve called you a couple of times before. You still hate answering phone calls?”

“Yeah. I told you that, didn’t I?”

“That you did and yet here you are. You love me too much.”

Bam. It was like he was punched in the gut. Love; such a fragile and important word that people either take for granted or throw without care. And even though you were right, you were also wrong. Wonwoo did love you. But not in the way you thought. Not in the way you treated him back whenever he did show you how much he loved you. For you, he was a friend. Just a friend.

“Yeah, whatever. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. I just missed you.”

Wonwoo smiled. Sometimes, you just really underestimate how much he knows you.

“Alright. What happened?”

You sighed. “I need a friend. Meet me on Friday? We could have brunch somewhere. I found this place that serves California rolls with mango & melted cheese,” you squealed in delight. “My treat?”

Wonwoo noticed the small hint of pleading in your voice. Also, you offering to buy food meant that it was serious.

“Alright. Friday.”

“Awesome. See you.”

“See you.”
 

Tuesday. Wonwoo wanted Friday to come quickly. 

Wednesday. What should he wear? Plain, comfortable clothes? Should he dress up a bit? What about that sweater you bought him for his birthday?

Thursday night. Wonwoo didn’t want to go. Should he text you and tell you something important came up?

At that moment, his phone rang. It was you.

Wonwoo paused and thought for a while. What should he say? Maybe you’re cancelling. Maybe he didn’t need an excuse this time. “What’s uuuup?”

Then he heard soft sobs. The instant Wonwoo realized you were crying, the smile on his face dissolved immediately. “Hey. Hey, what happened?”

“Wonwoo. He’s…he’s asking for some time off. Wonwoo, he asked me to give him space. I don’t know what I did. Wonwoo, I’m scared.”

“Hey.” Wonwoo sat stumped. He didn’t know what to say. You cried to him before. But not because of relationships. This is different. And he hated how he quickly felt better after hearing so. No. He didn’t. He actually liked it. But he can’t tell you that. You’re calling him for a friend. And he’s not about to destroy that. And that alone was difficult.

“It’s gonna be okay. It’s fine. Just trust him, okay?” Fake. Cheap. The words tasted like stale bread on Wonwoo’s mouth, he can’t help but wonder if you noticed it as well.

“I’m scared, Wonwoo. I’ve been feeling it recently; how we’re slowly growing apart. Ever since he took up a master’s degree, he’s been getting stressed easily lately. He’s getting even busier every day. He’s been getting easily irritated. Not at me but in little things. Wonwoo. I need to support him. He needs me. But…but if he pushes me away like this…Wonwoo, I don’t know what to do…”

Wonwoo felt bad. Seconds ago, he liked the idea of you breaking up with your boyfriend. But now, the very idea was ridiculous. Of course. You loved your boyfriend so much that even with the given situation, you still wanted to be with him. Support him. And that was heartbreaking.

“Y/n –”

“Hold on. I’m getting another call.” Silence passed while you checked who it was. “Wonwoo…”

Wonwoo smiled. What was he even doing? “Sure. Call me or text me after. If you want.”

”Wonwoo…thank you. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

3, 2, 1, tick. It was 1AM.

Wonwoo rolled on his side. It’s been 3 hours since your call. What happened? Were you two still talking? Or maybe you were already asleep? He rolled to the other side, clutching his phone tight when his phone lit up. It was a text message from you.

“Idk if you’re still awake. We’re fine now. For the time being. We’re still meeting each other later right? I cleared my schedules just to meet you. Don’t you dare cancel on me. Anyway, see you.”

Wonwoo took a deep breath. Here we go.

10AM.

Wonwoo walked in the restaurant that you told him this morning. He didn’t mean to but he actually had to force himself to sleep after what happened last night. The thoughts he had…it was just too much. And it was too chaotic. Conflicting. Confusing.

Wonwoo’s gaze searched the entire room, walking towards the end of it until he saw you. You picked a seat right next to the glass wall. Like always. You liked watching people go by their daily lives. Observing them and imagining what their lives could be. Back then, the two of you did this often. You two would pick a quiet place somewhere and play games with your surroundings. You were quite good at it. And he loved listening to you. But things happened and well, things became different.

You looked up and smiled. You looked just like the last time he saw you. Even with slightly puffy eyes, you looked beautiful. And that made Wonwoo’s heart ache. Sure you said that everything was fine. That you and your boyfriend made up. Got things clear. But he can’t help but feel that he would treat you better. That he will never make you cry and think about horrible and painful things like that. He loved you that much and more.

“I’ve got everything planned. We’re going to eat till we’re full and after that, we’re just gonna walk around and talk and talk and talk. Theeeeen, we’ll have room for dessert. Then maybe we could go watch something just to cool off. Theeeeen, I don’t know anymore. You could pick what we do next.”

Wonwoo smiled. Whatever. Today, you’re spending the whole day with him. That was enough. “Alright. But first, let’s eat that California roll you were talking about.”

Seconds, minutes, hours passed. Like before, your conversation consisted of the most random things: what you were both up to after graduation, your plans in life, the recent shows you’ve both been watching, everything that happened between the time you two haven’t spoken to each other. Thankfully, you didn’t mention a thing about your boyfriend. Except for the fact that you had to check your phone a couple of times, it was all good. You ate, you talked, you walked around the area looking for a place with really good desserts, more talking, and just strolling in the streets.

“Let’s watch this!” You pointed excitedly at a movie poster.

Wonwoo grins as he walked towards the counter with you skipping beside him. “Two tickets please. And I,” Wonwoo turns to look at you, “will be treating you this time,” he smiles, nudging you.

“Oohhhhh. Boyfriend Wonwoo makes an appearance,” you nudge back.

“Yeah.” Wonwoo looks down on the tickets. Just this once, he’d like to pretend to be just that.

“It’s nearly starting,” you say, linking your arms together. “Come on!”

The movie was interesting but your reactions were better. It wasn’t actually that exciting but for some reason, it looked even better because of your comments and reactions, Wonwoo had to remind you to calm down even though the cinema wasn’t filled and there weren’t many people nearby. You were too excited that he didn’t even had to watch the movie. Listening to you alone was enough. You did a great job miming the actions too.

“I’ll just go to the restroom then we can decide what we’ll do next. Okay?” you smile, walking towards the direction of the restroom.

Wonwoo stood at the side and smiled, watching you walk away. And there it was again. Misery was in front of his eyes again. It was too cruel. Too unfair. How could you not notice? You’ve been together as friends for the longest time that he knows you so well. And yet, you don’t know him. How he really feels. Or maybe it’s because he was a coward. He never really confessed properly. He never actually said it without joking. Wonwoo was afraid that his and your perfect world of just you two would break and crumble to pieces. In the end, it was all his fault. But he can’t do this anymore. It was too much.

Wonwoo took out his phone and typed in a message.

“Soonyoung-ah. I need to escape. Call me. Now.”

Wonwoo looked up and saw you walking towards him, smiling. He didn’t want to leave. Not when you’re having so much fun together. But he had to if he wants to save himself at least just a bit.

You were just a few feet away when Wonwoo’s phone rang.

“Soonyoung?”

You watched as Wonwoo’s face turned to a frown. Whatever it was, it seemed to concern him so much.

“Alright. I got it.”

Wonwoo’s gaze slowly met yours.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…I have to go. It’s important. I’m sorry.”

Wonwoo watched carefully, trying to make out what expression you were having. And at that moment, he was scared. Was he too obvious? Were you disappointed? Probably not. But maybe even just a bit…

You sighed, forcing a smile on your face. “Well, I did practically begged you to meet me today.” You met his eyes, and walked towards him, enveloping him in a hug.

Wonwoo hugged back cautiously. You were being unfair. Again.

“Thank you for answering your phone this time.”

Wonwoo nodded. “No problem.” Wonwoo waved reluctantly, feeling the awkwardness settle in. “See you.”

Finally. It was done. And maybe after this, he won’t answer your calls again like he did before. Maybe this time, he really would be able to move on. You can be happy with your boyfriend again and he would try his best to forget about you. Someday, he’ll definitely face you again, proudly, as a friend. A real one that would support you wholeheartedly.

Wonwoo turned to walk away, not daring to look back, performing the bravest act that he could do. And that was to finally let you go.