TWO
Fighting the darknessWhen I came back a few minutes later, packed with a tray full of food, the guy was not alone anymore. Another one stood beside him, animatedly talking and a girl had already sat down and was looking intensely at her phone. I silently walked over to the table, concentrating on the task of not losing any of the food I had already carried safely until here.
As I carefully put down the tray and spread the food on the table I wondered how my first breakfast here would proceed. I always hated being new. The judging stares, whispered comments and the pressure of having to make a good first impression were always frightening me.
Yesterday I had arrived after lunch and had also been allowed to have dinner in my room so I was able to avoid the obligatory ‘newcomer-introduction’. But I really doubted having that much luck today.
When I finished placing all the food evenly on the table I hesitantly stared at the door, considering going back to my room and a sleeping roommate. It would definitely be more comfortable then staying in the same room with three strangers. On the other hand, breakfast would start in only a few more minutes and it would probably seem really impolite and avoiding to leave the three people for such a short time and I really, really didn’t want to make a bad impression or worse, hurt someone’s feelings.
My misery was abruptly ended by that voice. That smooth, deep and oh so comforting voice.
I turned to face the guy again and had to realise that I total did not process what he had said. I dug my fingers into my wrist again and forced a “Sorry, what did you say?” out before trying to keep a smile on my lips for more than a second.
“I said, you got here yesterday, right?” That genuine smile again.
“Yes, yesterday around noon.”
“Told you so!” The other boy lightly nudged his shoulder “Ah right, I’m Haneul. This station’s granddaddy and this is Jepp. Before you arrived he was the new one!”
“Nice to meet you.” I didn’t know what else to say and looked at the ground, mortified by my own incompetence to keep a normal conversation going. I could ask about that strange name ‘Jepp’, but I felt like that would be very rude, so I rather kept my mouth shut.
“So why are you here? No, wait! Let me guess! Silent. Shy. Forced smile. I would go with depression but to be sure I need to see your arms. Or your legs for that matter.” Haneul, if I remembered correctly, made a move to grab my wrist but was stopped by a hand with long, slim fingers.
“Stop it! She’s uncomfortable.” Now the deep voice had an edge to it, making it stern and a little curt.
“Oh yeah... Sorry. I sometimes forget how scary the first days are. But don’t worry! We’re actually a nice group and just try to keep the mood up in this house of terrors and sadness-“
“Oh come on! We are not that bad!” Another voice cut him. I looked up and saw one of the nurses standing in the door.
“Now, if you are ready we can start with the breakfast.”
I looked around. Without realizing it, the room had filled with at least ten other young adults. There were more female patients then male, but an equally amount of grumpy looking ones. I really should be happy for always getting up early so I had no problems with the breakfast time. But who was I kidding. When was the last time I was genuine happy?
With my eyes I searched for a quiet spot in a corner of the room and thankfully found one near a window. On my way there I decided to grab a coffee, though I don’t appreciate filter coffee and the cups were too small.
Now, however, the place was taken by no one else but ‘smooth-voice’, ‘strange-name’ Jepp..
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So... I hope it's okay.. I feel like it's lacking but still i hope you enjoy reading! I try to stay as close to reality as possible but of cause I don't know how mental health clinics are in other countries... Also I am so overwhelmed by all nine of you, that decided to subscribe! I never expected that T.T (<- thankful tears)
Fyi 'Jepp' or 'Jepp Blackman' was Yongguk's stage name when he was still in the 'Underground-rapping-scene' and later on I will explain why I chose to introduce him as 'Jepp' and not 'Yongguk'. So look forwards to that c:
Ah before I forget it: I do have a personal soundtrack for each of the chapters. Are you interessted in that? Should I add it to each chapter or not?
Have a great week~
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