Yoongi’s feet are cold as soon as he sticks them out of his bed. He whimpers and almost wants to pull them back under his blanket, staying up all night doesn’t seem so bad anymore. At least he’d be warm for the rest of the night and not cold for the one minute he needs to get out of his and into Taehyung’s bed.  

It hasn’t been long since Yoongi realised that he can fall asleep better with someone as big and warm as Taehyung hugging him. Sometimes he doesn’t even wake up when Yoongi comes to him, just hums and scoops him into his arms, like it’s the most natural thing for them. To cuddle. It’s Yoongi’s favourite thing, at least, just watching Taehyung sleep, while falling into deep slumber himself. His even breathing calms him, his smell comforts him, his warmth makes him feel like he’s home. 

But they’re not a thing, though, of course not. Is Yoongi gay? Of course. Is that public knowledge? Why would it be. Does he like like Taehyung like that? Of course not. 

They made out a few times back when they were still trainees (and okay, the night after their debut stage, too) but that was it. They had to stop because they were caught in the practice room one night and had to sit through a traumatising uncomfortable interview on their relationship and orientation with Mr Bang. They weren’t boyfriends, not in love, just hormonal teenagers, not a big thing, no hurt feelings.  

It’s been three years now, anyway, and Yoongi tells himself that actually, he doesn’t miss kissing Taehyung at all. Just because he thinks about it a lot lately, doesn’t mean he wants to smooch their lips together again. Maybe sometimes, like after concerts when Taehyung looks sweaty and exhausted and he his lips and they’re both high on adrenaline and then their eyes meet and it’s like they’re the only people in the room and— 

But hey, anyone would be weak for that, because it’s Taehyung and he’s y and hot and so goddamn extra all the time. Like during dance practice, when they stay behind after the others leave and Taehyung doesn’t pretend to hide he’s eyeing Yoongi anymore. Or at least, that’s what Yoongi pretends he does. 

He winces and pulls the blanket over his head, then kicks it off again. He looks at the clock and groans. It’s already two. He has only four hours left to sleep. Although he’s worked with less sleep before, during Boy In Luv promotions, for example. Or during concert tours or MV Shootings, when they were too busy to sleep somewhere else than on planes and cars. But that doesn’t mean he’s keen on doing so during their less busy times. Yoongi doesn’t really know how to sleep, he rather passes out from exhaustion. At least that’s what he tells himself, and that he only likes cuddling with Taehyung because with him he can actually sleep. There’s something comforting about his presence, his arms and deep voice and his smile. And god, Kim Taehyung is so soft and it’s making Yoongi soft too, and he loves every part of it. 

But he can’t tell anyone, especially Hoseok, if he wanted, because Hoseok would coo and make fun of him. 

He wouldn’t, but that’s beside the point. 

Maybe he’s missed kissing Kim Taehyung a lot. Maybe he’s always missed it. And holding his hand. He remembers Taehyung’s first winter in Seoul, how they strolled through the streets holding hands and wrapped up in scarves and thick jackets. He remembers Taehyung chattering excitedly in satoori about the falling snow and Yoongi felt warm inside. They weren’t boyfriends, have never been, but it felt a lot like it sometimes. He wonders what else would have happened between them if their dance instructor hadn’t forgotten his keys. He wonders if they would have fallen in love with each other had they continued kissing. 

He checks the clock again. Two fifteen. it. There goes his self control, hand in hand with his dignity. 

He swears his toes are going to fall off from the cold of the wooden floors but why would he care about his toes when he has a future three and three quarter hours of warm arms and this smell of Taehyung ahead, that always makes him feel really fuzzy inside. 

‘Hyung?’ Taehyung asks as soon as Yoongi opens the door. He sits up in his bed, red hair ruffled and sticking out all over the place in a way that should be unattractive but actually just looks cute.  

‘Why are you up?’ Yoongi asks and sits down next to Taehyung. Actually he just wants to lean in towards him and close his eyes and breathe in his smell and maybe kiss his skin a little but maybe that would come off as too needy or ual. Although Yoongi is definitely feeling needy right now, but not a bit ual. Just tired, and needy, and he doesn’t like Taehyung like that, but he can’t help the affection that grows in his chest, until it feels like it will burst. 

‘Couldn’t sleep,’ Taehyung says and leans back into his pillows, scooting over to make room for Yoongi, ‘it felt weird, why are you coming only now?’ 

Yoongi’s heart skips a beat, at Taehyung’s words or when Taehyung puts an arm around him and pulls the blanket over them. It’s a bit weird still, because Yoongi’s never actually been one for cuddling. Not with ex boyfriends or girlfriends, not as a child, not ever. He used to even hate it, he always felt caged up when he was held so tightly. 

But not in Taehyung’s arms. He feels warm. Happy. Content. 

‘Dunno,’ Yoongi says and he really doesn’t want to talk anymore, just lay like this forever, face pressed against Taehyung’s shoulder, their legs entangled. 

‘Hyung,’ Taehyung says after a while. Yoongi leans back a little to look into his eyes. 

‘Mhm?’ He makes. Taehyung smiles softly. 

‘I can sleep better when you’re here.’ 

He knows Taehyung has been stressed lately. The shows, the concerts, the filming and recording all at the same time drained him and it hurt to see that smile slip off his face way too often. 

Yoongi responds by smiling and cupping his face. He’s never been good with expressing how he feels. Not with words, like Namjoon, not with gestures, like Taehyung. 

‘Do you ever miss it, hyung?’ Taehyung asks, his eyes still serious. 

‘What?’ 

‘How we were before we were Bangtan.’ 

Yoongi smiles and Taehyung looks back at him, eyes wide and honest and innocent. 

‘Do you mean,’ Yoongi starts, ‘us?’ 

Taehyung nods. 

‘Sometimes,’ Yoongi responds quietly and that seems to be enough for Taehyung. Yoongi buries his face in Taehyung’s pillow again, in his smell, inhales deeply and drowns ridiculous thoughts like, not so much because I still have you. 

◦◦◦

At this point Yoongi is sure that Kim Taehyung’s hugs can end wars and cure cancer. Warmth floods through his body, it’s cold outside but Taehyung holds him like this and somehow, everything is okay. 

Yes, he thinks, Kim Taehyung must indeed be an angel.