Park Ha Rin

 

 

 

My feet felt like lead dragging over the tiled surface of our building’s hallways. I didn’t bother running since I knew I was going to be the earliest one for today. The plain colors of the lockers, walls, and floors didn’t interest me much today as it did every single day after I entered this college. To be frank, they looked terrible to me right now. The grey lockers made me dizzy and the once beautiful light blue floor made me want to puke. Nothing was beautiful in the hallway anymore. Everything made my head spin and throb. And don’t get me started on the walls.

 

    It was fortunate though that I decided to leave the house earlier than the time I normally leave. The completely lack of voices and chatter in the campus was a complete relief to my ears. The silence wasn’t like the one in our house that always made my insides feel empty and anxious, but it was more soothing and made me feel calm.

 

     Once I finally reached our classroom, I walked through the aisle of empty seats until I reached mine. The emptiness of the room was sort of comforting but at the same time unfamiliar. It was like I entered the room for the first time. Without taking anything out from my bag, I slid my torso onto the smooth top of my desk and cradled my head in my hands. In a few seconds, I was able to go to sleep.

 

    “Take it back.”

 

    I jolted awake, snapping up at attention, eyes wide.

 

     “Whoa there,” a voice said to her left. Ha Rin. “What’s up with you today, Eunnie?”

 

     “Didn’t get much sleep,” I groaned, rubbing my tired eyes.

 

     “So you went…earlier than your early?” Ha Rin asked with a snort. The petite girl placed her bag on her desk before sliding on to her chair. “And of all places to sleep in, you choose our classroom?”

 

    “Doesn’t stop you,” I teasingly pointed out.

 

    Ha Rin laughed at that and patted my back, though with the strength that she was using, one would think that she was trying to dislodge something from my throat.

 

    “True that,” she drawled, crossing her arms over her desk and using that as a pillow. “But this is me, not you. You’d rather write a two-act play in one day than sleep in a classroom, so what gives?”

 

    I sighed and tugged on my bangs. “Someone’s spamming my inbox.”

 

“So,” Ha Rin drawled out the word before creating a dramatic pause. “…Nothing new?”

 

“No, this is totally different,” I insisted exasperatedly.

 

    “What’s totally different?”

 

  I turned my head to find Woo Young dressed impeccably with his blue button down and dark jeans. The sigh that left my lips was one I hoped sounded stressed rather than airy.

 

“This…spammer or whatever,” I answered, slumping down on my chair.

 

“Another one?” Woo Young asked with a raised brow, sliding into his chair.

 

“No. Well, see, this is one is different,” I repeated as I took out my laptop from my bag. “The spammer’s relentless!”

 

After my laptop and I opened up my e-mail, I waved a hand at the rising number of incoming e-mails. From the 150-ish e-mails this morning, there was now around 300, and the numbers continued to rise.

 

“Still think this is normal?” I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

 

  Woo Young looked at the e-mails, all with the same content, with raised brows.

 

“Looks like someone’s out to get you,” he mumbled, taking the laptop from my desk. “It’s a steady increase, so the e-mails might be queued and scheduled to come one after the other.”

 

“Who even has time for this?” I asked exasperatedly, my shoulders dropping. “I don’t even have time to finish our Lit paper!”

 

Ha Rin snorted and craned her neck to look at Woo Young’s progress--or lack of. “Do you even know what they’re asking you to ‘take back’.”

 

She used air quotes for the last part of her sentence before snickering.

 

“No,” I answered.

 

“Liar,” Woo Young sang, wagging a finger in my face though his eyes were still glued to the screen of my netbook. “You really should control your tell, Eun Hee.”

 

“What tell?” I asked incredulously, eyes going wide.

 

“That tell,” Ha Rin pointed out with another snicker.

 

“What tell?” I asked, my voice going higher.

 

Was it my eyes? Did I move my hands too much? Were they watching for my sweat?

 

“Your voice goes up a pitch when you lie,” Ae Mi answered as she came in, her long hair swaying with her steps, and sat in front of our group.

 

Ha Rin sighed loudly, “Aaw. Boo, Ae Mi. It would have been funnier if we let her guess.”

 

“Eun Hee looked like she was ready to pass out,” Ae Mi said, taking a book out of her purse and starting to read. “I didn’t want manslaughter on our hands.”

 

There was a hum from Woo Young’s side and I felt a tug on the sleeve of my blouse. Turning to Woo Young, I had to stop myself from cursing. The light from the windows on the far side of the classroom illuminated his side, casting a glow about him.

 

“What?” I asked, my voice going small.

 

“Did you ever notice that the e-mails came around an hour later after you sent that e-mail to the idol?” Woo Young asked, oblivious to how the gods practically made him look ethereal then.

 

I could have kept staring, but his words sent me groaning.

 

“Can we not talk about that again?” I asked in frustration, pulling on the ends my bangs.

 

“How about we do?” Woo Young asked, raising a brow and finally turning in my direction. “I’m serious! You’ve never gotten a spammer this persistent. There was obviously something that triggered this person, and I assume it’s the reply that you sent.”

 

“Out of all the replies I sent, why that one?” I challenged.

 

Woo Young’s face was an image of firm resolve. “Because. That’s the only reply that deviates from the norm.”

 

I looked away from my friend’s piercing faze, feeling the guilt creep up my spine like cold fingers.

 

“He does have a point,” Ae Mi said, book long forgotten at her side. She must have found the conversation more interesting. “For every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction. The only change in your actions is the reply that you sent, so the reaction is just as harsh.”

 

I looked between Ae Mi and Woo Young incredulously. “So you’re saying that I deserve this?”

 

Woo Young snorted and turned back to my laptop, his finger moving lightly over the trackpad. “No. We’re saying that the likely cause of the spam is the letter that you sent.”

 

“Which implies that I deserve the trouble that I get,” I continued, rolling my eyes. With a sigh, I placed my head in my hands. “So...it’s that idol who did it? That Byun Baek--whatever his name.”

 

“We aren’t even sure if the really is an idol,” Ae Mi pointed out, a creak coming out of the chair she was leaning on. “The signatures aren’t all that honest, are they?”

 

“I don’t know what to think,” I moaned, my hands slightly muffling the sound.

 

“Well I think you should cry ‘maintenance’ on your website and block incoming e-mails for now,” Woo Young suggested, turning to my direction for my approval.

 

My head shot up after hearing that, a face like a deer in the highlights as I shook my head.

 

“No, no, no, and definitely no,” I state firmly. “The--The senders--”

 

“Can sit tight and do just fine without you,” Ha Rin interrupted with a yawn, stretching her arms out. “Jeez, give it a rest, Eunnie. Deal with the psycho first.”

 

“This is me dealing with the psycho,” I defended, leaning back. “I don’t want him to think he can just...get a reaction from me!”

 

There was a light chuckle from Ae Mi as she said, “Definitely not a reaction right now.”

 

“I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he got to me,” I clarified matter-of-factly.

 

Woo Young sighed dramatically beside me,swinging one leg over the other so they cross. “Well, then good luck on placing some control over the situation then. It’s queued, Eun Hee. That means he can just be lounging around while you tear every strand of hair from your head stressing over your inbox.”

 

I faltered at those words and looked down at my hands. Softly, I mumbled, “You didn’t have to be so dramatic about it.”

 

“We live for the drama, Eun Hee,” Woo Young pointed out with a smug smile.

 

“Whatever,” I grumbled before sighing. “Fine. Fine. Put the site under maintenance.”

 

Another day where I don’t do work. It can’t get any worse that this, I thought.

 

    By the time that lunch time rolled around, I felt practically dead. Dragging my feet to our table, I plopped myself down onto my usual chair and placed my head on the surface of the table. I don’t even know why I felt so tired. Throughout that morning, I simply went to my classes and took down notes. I didn’t do any extra work on the e-mails, after I got scolded by Woo Young multiple times to take it easy. So why do I feel so beat down?

 

    The scratch of a chair against the floor caught my attention, and I lifted my head up to see who would be the victim of my bad mood. I wanted to open my inbox so bad.

 

“Yo,” Ha Rin greeted before she sat down on her chair. With a ‘thud!’, a stack of papers landed on the table.

 

“What are those?” I asked, gesturing to the thin stack.

 

“Script,” Ha Rin said with a huff. “Have to memorize it by next week.”

 

I leaned back on my chair and looked at her in surprise. “What? A play this early?”

 

“Chill your bum, Eunnie,” Ha Rin snorted, stretching her arms up. “It’s one scene for class.”

 

“Hey, don’t forget you already promised you’d star for one of my works,” I said, the corners of my mouth curving down.

 

“I know,” Ha Rin drawled out, rolling her eyes. “So...any progress on your inbox?”

 

That did it.

 

I let out a loud sigh, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. “No. Don’t remind me about it.”

 

“As if you would forget!”

 

I peeked one eye open to see Woo Young and Ae Mi coming to our table. The tall male had books under his arm and two bags on his shoulders, one of which was Ae Mi’s purse.

 

“Finally coming out, pretty boy?” Ha Rin asked with a smirk.

 

“Coming out of my cage, and I’ve been doing just fine!” Woo Young sang, going a few pitches higher.

 

Some giggles came from surrounding tables, and that only made me roll my eyes.

 

“You could probably tell them that I’m gay, and they’ll be all ‘I bet I can make him straight!’,” Woo Young commented with a snort, sitting next to me and sliding Ae Mi’s purse across the top of the table to the quiet girl.

 

“Wait, you’re not gay?” Ha Rin asked in mock seriousness, straightening up in her seat.

 

Woo Young rolled his eyes at our snickers, took a tissue from the dispenser at the center of our table, crumbled it and threw it at Ha Rin. “Shut up, you!”

 

“Ten out of ten comeback,” Ha Rin replied, unfazed by the lame  tissue ball.

 

“Any-way,” Woo Young said, emphasizing on the two syllables. He turned to my direction. “What’s up with you?’

 

“What do you mean?” I asked, my tone defensive.

 

“You looked like you were going to pee yourself earlier in CW 107,” Woo Young said with a shrug. “Your leg kept bouncing.”

 

“Isn’t that a sign of…” Ha Rin broke off and wiggled her brows.

 

I groaned and threw a tissue ball at Ha Rin as well who broke off in a fit of laughter after deflecting the puny ball. Ae Mi, who was reading a book beside Ha Rin, simply leaned out of the way, her eyes looking at the book but her face hardened. It was probably from the mess that we were making with the tissue balls.

 

“I just can’t, okay?” I whined, placing my head in my hands. “I can’t just...stop replying to e-mails. I tried-”

 

“For like, five hours,” Ha Rin mumbled with a cough.

 

“But I don’t feel any peace by leaving e-mails unanswered,” I finished with a glare at Ha Rin through the gaps in my fingers.

 

“Fine,” Woo Young said, shrugging. “Check your inbox, then.”

 

I lifted my head and looked up at Woo Young with wide eyes. “Really? I can? You won’t push the screen down?”

 

“Knock yourself out,” Woo Young sighed, watching Ha Rin walk to the food line. “Just remember to use the universal choking sign when you have a hard time breathing from all that excitment.”

 

“Again, you don’t have to be so dramatic about it,” I mumbled, taking out my laptop from my bag and placing it on our table.

 

My hands were shaking in excitement as I typed in my password and opened up a browser. I really should go to some sort of therapy. I might just be addicted to answering e-mails. Once I had typed in the password to my account, I waited with baited breath for the number of e-mails in my inbox. I didn’t understand why I was so nervous. Since Woo Young temporarily placed the shop under maintenance, there should no new e-mails.

 

Oh boy was I wrong. From 300 e-mails, the number went up to almost 500. 500! Who does that?

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I groaned, scrolling down the highlighted unread messages.

 

“Whoa,” Woo Young breathed out, craning his neck to see. “Used a different e-mail and started direct e-mailing your root address.”

 

Instead of focusing on the way Woo Young’s breath fanned on my neck, I focused on the messages of each new e-mail.

 

“He personalized them as well,” I said in disgust. “Makes it harder to keep track which is his. This is all too much! How much time does this guy have on his hands?”

 

I clicked on one e-mail to check the contents, the corners of my mouth pulling down some more. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

“This is getting juicier, eh?” Woo Young asked with a laugh.

 

“What’s getting ‘juicier’?” Ha Rin asked before plopping her tray down. The soup inside the metal bowl on the tray sloshed around and threatened to drip to the sides.

 

“Spammer is now sending little notes to our little Eunnie here,” Woo Young said, nudging my side. “Asking her to go to some...what is that? Fan-meet?”

 

I scowled. I think if I scowled any harder, I was pretty sure my lips would fall off.

 

“He’s delusional if he thinks I’m going to this..meetup or whatever!” I fumed, throwing my hands up in exasperation. “I actually have a life, and I don’t want to end up getting surgery for my ears from all of these...women screaming for men that they could never have. They have as much chance as me winning the lottery.”

 

“Gee, Eunnie, you must be so fun to be around,” Ha Rin said with a snort, earning a high five from Woo Young.

 

I massaged my temples to quell the headache that was coming.

 

“And the chances of winning are lottery are like what…”

 

“For the jackpot of six numbers out of forty-nine, it’s around one in 14 million,” Ae Mi replied in monotone, spouting the numbers as if they were second nature to her.

 

I gestured to her with an approving nod. “See? The odds are cruel.”

 

“But there’s still that one,” Woo Young said, bringing up one finger.

 

“Out of 14 million,” I insisted stubbornly, wanting to slam the screen of my netbook down.

 

“Still, there’s one,” Woo Young said, probably as stubborn as I was. “And that’s better than zero.”

 

“Who knew you’re so good at math, pretty boy,” Ha Rin teased, this time earning a snort of approval from me.

 

“Fight me, war freak,” Woo Young challenged, pointing a finger at Ha Rin.

 

“How about we calm down for now?” Ae Mi asked, the squabbling getting to her nerves as well. “You’re all giving me a headache as well.”

 

My lips threatened to tug up in a smile, though I fought not to. Once Ae Mi joins in the conversation, it’s game over for everyone. Woo Young and Ha Rin bowed their heads like wounded animals.

 

“What are his demands?” Ae Mi asked, closing her book and setting it down on the table. “Just to go to the…meeting?”

 

I sighed and pulled up different versions of the note from the two different e-mail addresses.

 

“Look for certain patterns of repetition,” Ae Mi advised, drumming her fingers on the plastic top of the table.

 

“There are...three, I guess, patterns,” I said, rereading the e-mails that I pulled. “One: going to the fanmeet, two: judge the interaction between the two, and three: contact.”

 

Ae Mi continued to drum her fingers a few more rounds before she nodded.

 

“They’re reasonable enough, don’t you think?” she asked, picking up her book.

 

My shoulders sagged at her words, and my mind tried to process her reply.

 

“What?”

 

“The demands,” Ae Mi clarified with a sigh. “They’re reasonable enough to follow.”

 

“Yes, but I’m not following them,” I pointed out, crossing my arms over my chest.

 

Woo Young and Ha Rin watched the conversation between the two as if it was a tennis match. Granted, whenever Ae Mi and I were the ones to talk, the mood was serious, near boring for the two. Woo Young and Harin, they always thought that, more often than not, they bring the life to their little group.

 

“I wouldn’t either,” Ae Mi said, the sound of another sigh clear in her tone. “However, seeing as the person’s not stopping anytime soon, you’re getting more and more stressed, and the the demands are simple enough to accomplish, I think that the logical way to go about it is to simply follow the demands. You can always just reject again to reaffirm your belief.”

 

I mulled over Ae Mi’s words, seeing the logic clearly. Still, I didn’t like the sound of it one bit,

 

“Why do you have to make it sound so logical?” I groaned. “I didn’t even want to consider it.”

 

“Well, you’ll have to, seeing that this all started with the letter that you sent,” Ae Mi pointed out.

 

At this point, Woo Young busted out in in a fit of laughter.

 

“Woo--Woo Young: 1. Eun Hee: 0,” he announced with a wide smile. “See? It all circles back to the message that you sent.”

 

Irritated, I pushed his shoulder just so he would move away from my side. My lips threatened to pull into a smile once more, but I was not going to him the satisfaction.

 

“You just want to keep bringing that up, don’t you?” I asked.

 

Woo Young smiled cheekily and said, “But this time I wasn’t the one who pointed it out. Ae Mi did, and what darling Artemis says is law.”

 

“Since when did we agree on that?” I asked, raising a brow.

 

“You don’t need a written law for something to become the norm,” Woo Young said, shrugging. “So, going to your first fanmeet?”

 

Massaging my temples, I grit my teeth and nodded. “Fine.”

 

“Oh?” Woo Young asked with a teasing smirk. Ha Rin also looked up with the same mischief in her eyes.

 

“Yes,” I hissed, finally turning off my netbook.

 

“I want to know who Byun Baekhyun or whoever this person is so I can punch him for thinking that he can get away with something like this.”