Taeyong and I were the best of friends until it developed into something more. I was the first one to confess. I told him I love him, then the evation tactic started to kick in. I evaded him because I didn't want to hear his reply. I was terrified of all the possible replies he could give me. Even just the sight of him made me feel week in the knees. It didn't stop until after the 'end of the month evaluation'. So there I was, about to sing but and nothing was coming out of my mouth. My mind went blank. I was already nervous as it is until I remembered Taeyong, he was a trainee too, of course he would be here. My mind snapped back to reality when I heard the sound of a door closing. I saw a person with white hair disappear, as that particular door closed. I felt a bit disappointed but I managed to calm down. I guess he figured out that he added to the pressure I was feeling. I thanked God, and Taeyong too, for their understanding. I managed to at least finish the song without a hitch.

I thought that, that day was already over until someone pulled me into the the fire exit and cornered me there. It was very dark since the lights weren't on at that time so I had absolutely no chance of identifying who that person was. I was practically blind, but somehow, I already knew that it was Taeyong. I didn't have evidence that it was him. I just knew because I felt something. It was a feeling that only Taeyong's presence could make me feel. I only managed to confirm it when he spoke.

"Jaehyun-ah. Stop avoiding me... I don't  like it."

"O-okay. I won't" It took me everything to say those words.

"Good, and besides. You're the one to blame. You didn't hear me out." 

"What's the point? I knew that you like Ten."

"I do."

"See? That's w--"

"But you're the one I love."

"Oh. Okay..."

We started dating after that. I guess everyone kind of knew, since Taeyong was a very clingy boyfriend. He always came to see me when he was on his break. He even made me visit him when I had nothing to do. The funny thing was that he even managed to convince the company to make us roommates, so we would always see each other every morning.  He always climbs onto my bed saying he was lonely and I let him because I liked it too. There were also times that other trainees would ask me where Taeyong was and I wondered exactly why I was the one always being asked. Apparently, Taeyong had been going around the building announcing that we were together. Everyone in the building practically knew about this while I wasn't. It made me happy and embarrassed at the same time. I had no clue that Taeyong would be like this as a boyfriend. He was very vocal while I was very quiet and reserved. I liked how we kind of complemented each other. The emabarrassment died down after a few days. I got used to how we were. I got used to us always being together. He made my everyday feel like an eternity filled with happiness and love.

Of course, just like every couple, we had bumps here and there. There was a time when we were too busy that we barely each other, but we managed to get through it. What I didn't know was that the worst was yet to come. We started to hang out less and less until Taeyong started to avoid me. Every morning, when I wake he was already out of the door. When I text him, he wouldn't reply, even when I try to call him, he wouldn't answer. So I just convinced myself that he was just probably very busy. I convinced myself that we were okay, that everything was fine ,and that nothing's changed while in reality we were already falling apart. I didn't know why, but we just were. 

I asked him If we were alright and he said that we were, but I still had this gut feeling that he wasn't telling the truth. I was right. He was constantly seeing and hanging out with Ten during those times. How did I find out? Johnny, he was Ten's secret admirer and he always complained to me that Taeyong was stealing his Ten. That's how. I was hurt, deeply hurt ,but I made sure that it didn't show.

One day, I waited for him to come back. When he did, I finally asked the question of the century.

"So how was your date with Ten?" I said without any sign of contempt.

He walked past me saying "It was good." And then realization finally sinked in. "W-wait. You knew!?" He acted like a deer caught in headlights.

"And you didn't even bother to deny it. Of course I knew! What do you think am I? I'm not stupid Taeyong. Well... I guess I am because I still love you." At this point I was already crying.

"Jaehyun. I still love you but I also have feelings for Ten." He tried to hold me but I moved away from his arms.

"No! You can't do that! You ca't just hug me and expect that everything will be okay! It doesn't work that way. Relationships don't work that way. We have to sit down and talk about this. Now, choose. You have to choose between us. You can't have the both of us and get away with it. Who's it gonna ba? Me? or Ten?"

"..."

"Lee Taeyong! Is it me? or is it Ten?" I said in between sobs.

"I-I can't decide right now. I don't  know! Okay? Please give me time. I need to sort out my feelings for the both of you."

"I'll give you all the time you need, but I wouldn't be staying here anymore. I'm going to move out of our room."

"No. You don't have to! I'll be the one to move out." Taeyong sadly replied.

"I have to. I need a new change of pace. One that wouldn't remind me of my love for you."

"Okay..."

"Just tell me when you've made your decision." Then I left.

I roomed with Taeil after I left my old room. He was kind and very understanding of my situation. He didn't try to interfere with my choices. He even gives me advice. I once asked him how to know if everything was already over. He replied with a quote that he had read. "Maybe when you feel more in love with the memories than with the person standing right in front of you." That made me made. It drove me mad because I was still in love with him even after he hurt me so much. I was a fool in love. Why was I still in love with him? What kind of fool am I? I was a fool that was willing to wait. I was willing to wait even if there was a chance of me ending up in pieces. I was that kind of fool and I still am that kind of fool. 

Taeil hyung asked me why I was willing to wait even if I could end up getting hurt to which I replied with " Because he's worth the wait. You can't deny what the heart wants because the heart wants what it wants. Besides, I won't die if he chooses Ten over me. I'll just be broken inside. Isn't that better than dying?" I was already a broken man inside and all that could fix me would either be Taeyong choosing me or me falling out of love with him and finding someone else but that wasn't the case, because if I was asked to choose, I'd still pick the first one over any other choice. Taeyong is and will always be my choice and that scared me.

"Jaehyun? Taeyong's on the phone and was asking me if he could talk to you." said Taeil from the other side of the door. "He said that you wouldn't reply to his texts or pick up your phone." I realized that I had turned  my phone off the night before. I wondered whether he already made his choice or this was about my missing out on a few days of practice. Anyways, I was nervous as hell.

"Okay, Hyung!" I got up from my bed and went outside the room to get the phone. But when I opened the door Taeil wasn't there. It was Taeyong holding a phone with the name of Taeil hyung as the caller.

"H-huh? Where's Taeil hyung?" I asked while I was sweating bullets.

"Oh. Taeil hyung? He's at practice but he's on the phone." he said showing me the phonw with an amused smile plastered on his handsome face.

"Okay..."

"By the way. Jaehyun-ah!"

"What is it?"

"I just came to say that..."

"Say what?" So he finally made his choice.

"I just came to say... I love you."