"This doesn't look good," said Ji Soo softly as her eyes settled on the guy sitting in the cafe. As she pushed the door and entered, two of her bestfriends tagged behind her. They have an emergency at hand that needed to be fixed.

Saving the formality, Jennie huffed while sitting down, "What the hell happened in Melbourne?"

***

"Customs wouldn't permit it anyway." She replied curtly when she realised where his vision was focused on -- the apple blossoms he bought her yesterday.

It would have been nice if she brought the flowers all the way to the airport, rather than leaving them on the coffee table in the hotel room.

"Are you feeling alright?" asked Jin Young as he watched her picked on her food for the past ten minutes.

"Uh-huh. Late lunch," she replied. Five seconds later, he saw her giving him a smile - a rather ungenuine one in fact - and excused herself with her barely touched bowl of rice.

It would have been nice if it really was the late lunch she had that day. He doubt a late lunch can cause her to retire early to bed, completely skipping her routine drama timeslot.

"Hey love, why don't you sleep closer. Don't want you falling off the bed in the middle of the night," he cracked a smile while gently coaxing her to avoid sleeping at the edge of the bed.

"I won't." Her reply was firm.

It would have been nice if she just moved a little closer to the middle of the bed, a feet - no an inch would have suffice.

There was one day, about three months after their return from Melbourne that she fell sick. He had found out about her high fever when he came back home to all the lights out when it was supposed to be dinner time. He saw her curled up into a ball. He combed through his memory and clearly remembers not getting any calls or texts from her, informing him that she is sick. Quickly pulling himself out of his thoughts, he hurriedly discarded the briefcase he was carrying and went into the bathroom to get a wet towel.

Through her sleepy slurs, he heard her saying she was feeling cold-- really cold. As gentle as he could, he tried to wake her up to feed her with medicine. There was a weak protest coming from her. She wanted her sleep and to that, he promised her she will feel better after taking the medicine. He was delighted when she finally gave in, conciously or not.

"Cold."

He piled on some blankets on her but it does not seems to work. Running out of ideas, he turned up the heater and asked, "Is this better?"

"So... so cold." He saw her shudder. He contemplated if he should do what he is thinking about. Remembering their last night in Melbourne, how she insisted on sleeping on the couch, he decided against it and went to shower instead. He had hoped she would feel warmer by the time he came back out. In the shower, there was a constant battle going on in his head - to shower longer in order to give the heater a longer time to heat up the room; or to shower quickly, in case the heater got too hot to her liking and worsen her fever. The latter won.

Barely wiping himself down properly, he dashed out with his hair trickling wet and his shirt and shorts sticking to parts of his skin that wasn't properly dried. He checked her temperature and it was still high. As he looked down at her sleeping form, he saw her shuddering lightly despite the blanket being pulled closely to her.

He dashed back into the powder room and quickly dried his hair and changed into a new set of pajamas, quietly cursing himself for breaking his own protocol of keeping calm. If only he had not rushed out before drying himself properly, he would not have wasted another minute looking for and changing into a new set of pajamas.

He climbed into his side of the bed and rested his arms below her head. Gently, he turned her around to face him. His other hand guided her hand to wrap around his waist. A soft pang hit his chest when he saw her wince in pain, her body probably aching from the fever. He heard her slur but it was so soft that he could not catch what she was saying.

So he soothed, "You will feel better tomorrow, I promise."

Then, her moans of feeling cold stopped.

He gently tap her back, lulling her to sleep. As he felt her weight on him, proving that she was fast asleep again, he planted a soft kiss to her forehead. He then felt her tightening her arms around his waist, bringing him closer to her. It was almost as if she misses him-- and he missed her right back. It has been three long months since he last held her. Unable to control himself, he brought her even closer to him and planted a long kiss on her forehead again. At the back of his head, a voice asked, 'There will not be any repercussion tomorrow, will there?'

Then, in between her slurs, he finally caught what she had been slurring about all along. It was a name-- and it wasn`t his. Then, he dreaded tomorrow.

Indeed, when tomorrow comes, through sweaty shirts between them, they woke up at the same time. It was not clear who woke who up but one thing he knew was when their eyes met and she realised the compromising position they were in, her eyes had widened like a deer caught in the headlights. Faster than you can say one, she quickly sat up. It was so fast that a headache immediately hit her.

Despite hearing her moan and seeing her hands holding the sides of her head, he had not dare to lay a hand on her. He blinked his eyes and then looked away. As he got up from bed, he heard an apology and the voice uttering it sounded strangely like his. 

---

"Hello," said Jin Young politely.

The three of them remained quiet, waiting for him to answer Jennie's question.

"We met Yi An in Melbourne. He was with his girlfriend," answered Jin Young truthfully. He then sipped his coffee, his eyes were steadily locked on Jennie who was sitting across from him. 

The defeated look she gave him confimed all the answers he was looking for.

"Well, you should step up your game!" exclaimed Lisa with a quiet rage.

Jin Young slowly put down his mug. He then unlock his phone and showed them a picture of his favourite little boy, Im Ha Seon. "He is my nephew and he is turning four soon. I brought him to a park last week and there were dogs and cats going around. He loves dogs but he fears cats. You see, a cat scratched him badly last year and since then he was so, so afraid."

He paused, thankful that his audience did not interupt him. As a courtesy, he broke into a smile. These days, he needs a massive amount of energy to do just that. "I thought of fixing his fear so I brought him to the park. A little boy- about seven years of age- brought a cat to Ha Seon. This nephew of mine were so obssessed with the puppy in front of him that he didn't notice. When he turned around and realised that the cat was just a few inches away from his face, he jumped. Two fat tears rolled down his eyes and his hands were flailing helplessly around. He ran to me as fast as his two little feet could and begged me to hold him, high and away from the cat."

"My first instinct was to tell him that the cat is not going to harm him and that he should supress his fear. Then it hit me, we have been taught our whole life to surpress our fears."

There was then silence. Lisa wanted to interupt but Ji Soo held her hands. Moments later, Jin Young paid the bill and excused himself. He bid them a warm goodnight and left. Through the glass window in the cafe, they watched him look up to the pouring sky, his hand held out to feel the rain. They kept watching him until he got into his car.

The three of them remained silent.

"Why did you stop me?" Lisa asked slowly, although she suspected she knew the answer. There was not any reply from her other two companions. Words were not necessary. They are not dumb. Their thoughts drifted to the couple and they understood: there are just some fears in this world that try as we might, we can supress but will never be able to fight.

Out on the street, the traffic light turned red. The car Jin Young was driving came to a stop. The pouring rain and thunderstorm outside were like his mind- noisy and chaotic. He was exceptionally exhausted but he cannot go home. It is only 8 at night. She would still be up at home, watching the latest drama that caught her interest. When the light turned green, he took a right turn instead of going straight; instead of the path that will lead him home. 

He can't go home.

Today, he knows what Yi An means to her.

Last week, he knows what he means to her.

He is the customs.

He is the late lunch.

He is the 'I won't'.

He is the headlight.

He is the cat.