I want it. Protruding bones that poke the poor victim as I hug them, graceful steps that make me feel as if I’m floating as I skip by a crowd of people, their eyes feasting on my thin figure, craving to be me. I need it. I must have it. And so I will.

Every so often Kibum would hear a door creak open, revealing that yet another member had made his way home. And every time that a new member opened that door, the more guilt filled his stomach, pushing the hunger pains aside to leave a more subtle yet horrifyingly uncomfortable feeling. He had laid in his bed all day, yet again. Who knew that not eating for a day would give him such painful pains that he couldn’t even stand? Not him. Perfection comes with a price, he guessed.

“Kibum what’s for dinner, we are starving over here.” Jonghyun shouted, the frail boy cringing at such a loud noise.

Right. They are starving far more than you ever will. I bet they didn’t eat all day either. With this happening you’ll never be the thinnest. Make dinner 5x their normal portion, I dare you.

Kibum wasn’t one to lose bets. Ignoring the clawing from his stomach, he got out of bed, making his way to the kitchen to decide what to make. Glancing into the kitchen, he realized how hungry he was. Not only was his stomach pleading for food, he could feel how shaky it was making him. He had never imagined that skipping a day of eating could have such a grave effect on him. Dragging his attention back to the task on hand, he opened the fridge, revealing many beautiful ingredients. Kibum with drawled all of the vegetables and began to make a stir fry fit for 10 people. He must stuff the other members to ensure that he’d be the one losing weight. He poured in a generous amount of soy sauce, drawing the attention of his hungry friends.

“Smells good!” Taemin chirped, instantly sliding into his reserved seat.

Kibum only smiled in return. His simple gesture hiding so much pain as he basked in the smell of such gorgeous food. His mouth watered as he stirred the chicken and vegetables that released such a glorious smell.

Disgusting.

He had to agree. How disgusting. Only thin people could enjoy such a scent, only thin people could enjoy such a meal, only thin people could eat so much. Kibum’s face hardened as he resisted the urge to take in a big waft of air, letting the savory smell fill his nostrils.

Weak.

He pulled out their ceramic plates, scooping his delicious creation onto the plates, making sure to fill them to the brim. He brought four plates to the table, dropping them off before turning on his heal and heading towards the hallway.

“Where are you going?” Minho called out, bringing unwanted attention to the boy.

“My room, I’ve had the worst stomach ache all day. I don’t think I can eat tonight.” Kibum half lied, his stomach hurt, just for a completely different reason then what they had thought.

“Do you think it was the left overs? Will I get sick too?” Jinki asked, concern obvious in his voice, although Kibum knew he was only worried about getting sick himself.

“I think you’ll be fine hyung.” Kibum whispered, turning back around and heading for his room.

He sat alone in a dark room. Normally he would enjoy the quietness, bathe in the darkness as he succumbs to the relaxing sound of silence, but this was different. It was eerie. Instead of welcoming, the darkness felt… dense, filled with tension. Beginning to panic, he thrashed in the chair, unable to stand. Suddenly the door creaked open, a blinding light entering the room, followed by a person. The door shut, leaving him back in the black hole, just this time he wasn’t alone.

“Key hyung!” called a sweet voice that was no other than their maknae’s cheerful tone.

“Y-yes?” He stuttered out, his throat closing from fear that was slowly edging away now that his little maknae was here.

“You’re looking chubbier! Aw chipmunk cheeks!” He shrieked, grasping onto Kibum’s cheeks. “How cute!”

Kibum felt tears picking his eyes, threatening to spill over the edge and onto his lap. He instantly slapped the beautiful boy’s hands away.

“Ow!” He whined, caressing his own hands. “Hyung! How could you?”

“Could you stop?” Kibum cried, finally standing on his own two feet, the harsh loud words still lingering in the air.

He woke up with tears streaming down his face, the dark room making him feel isolated and alone. It was now haunting his dreams.