No, before I should make assumptions, I should ask what the hell is Code blue. It might be just some party that the Cardiology or Emergency department would host but they're late.

I ran thinking about that Code blue and why Room 110 was included on the announcement. Did Hyemi said that she has something to do with her heart? I thought she only lost a bit of her balance and grips?
I have no time to run for the front desk to answer the question, so I pulled this cute nurse to stop from walking past me. “Y-yes?” He stuttered. The nurse bit his lip and leered at me maliciously. He stared for my legs as I folded it a bit in embarrassment.

“No, I'm not going to ask for your number.” I pointed out. He rolled his eyes.

“Ah. What is it you want?”

“WHAT THE HELL IS CODE BLUE?”

 

 

 

****

 

 

I never pressed a button faster than before. My eyes were bulging as I cried her name inside the elevator. I wanted to jump to ease every stress and worries I can think of, but these people inside might think I was a patient from psychiatry ward. People around me tried to approach me, tapped my back to calm, but I couldn't. Who would?

'Miss. In every hospital, they have emergency codes. That code's purpose, Code blue, is to provide an appropriate response to a suspected cardiac or respiratory arrest. Assuming you heard it, I think you've been in a wrong hallway? Were you lost? Most codes are not for public announcements especially if it is, well, private, you see.'

'Hold your horses. Cardiac arrest means?'

 

 

'The patient's heart stopped beating.'

 

 

 

 

It felt like my heart would stop beating as well anytime soon. I stormed out of the elevator, and sprinted directly to the room. I shouldn't waste a second. There would be a possibility she might be dead, and just by thinking about it, makes my head burn in stress. She should be alive. How about the promises? How about the last farewell? How about Jungkook and her?! IT WOULD GONE INTO WASTE. I shouldn't let that happen. No, it wouldn't happen. I believe her. She was desperate to see him, she should be desperate to live as well.

Moments while running, I tripped. The nurses aided me to go to their infirmary, but I decline. I forced myself to run even if my feet was painful. “If you keep on going, you might be injured!!” They yelled, warned me.

“I'd rather be injured, than to watch her die.” What am I saying..

I kept on limping. Every pace was a step through knives. Not now, fucking feet. I pulled my right leg which was strained and assisted it while my left foot kept doing its thing. It was just a matter of seconds, until I saw three doctors rushed inside her room pushing a hospital stretcher with intravenous (IV) on its side. It was really an emergency, wasn't it?

“Excuse me, it's my friend.” I repeatedly tapped the doctor's shoulder outside the room. I was sure he was one of the staffs because of his uniform.“Can you tell me what in the world is happening inside?”

“Myocardial infarction, ma'am. The cause isn't clear, yet but--” A guy behind him showed up in a sudden and slapped his head, but I didn't flinched. I was to nervous to be startled by simple things. The guy is a doctor as well, but I think his position is higher.

“Fool, what did I told you? Never speak of those medical terms for those who didn't know!!

Um, excuse me ma'am, what term he said is equivalent to heart attack. We don't know the exact cause yet, but she has Freidreich Ataxia since teen which, you see, can lead to heart disorders. It is the first time she collapsed due to it, but we're doing our best to save her.”

I can hear the monotonous sound of electrocardiogram and those doctors operating the defibrillator, trying to save and that made me panic. The fact that the sound sustained itself from being flat was making my body dread and shaking. I kept on moving, strolling around, and hopping because of it. “Your right foot is already violet, did you injure yourself before coming here?”

“I tripped, it's okay, please do your thing to save her.” I waved my hands for him not to worry.

“The Cardiology department is. I guess you shouldn't worry for the leader is the best doctor of this hospital.” He winked, but no- I could feel his doubt as well. It was obvious that this was serious. Even the badass and renown surgeons make mistakes and failures as well. It's the part of their job, to make mistakes and learn from them. I really hoped Hyemi wasn't part of that mistake. Sweat dripped down and seconds felt like hours.

“300 Joules, 1, 2, 3, CLEAR!”

no!

 

“HEY, 300 JOULES WOULD BE THE MAXIMUM JOULES FOR DEFIBRILLATOR WHY THE HELL SHE'S NOT WAKING UP?!” I yelled in desperation. I grasped their uniform tightly as I could to be calm. Yes, I would like to punch them as well, just to calm myself.

“I never thought you know-”

“Look, my ing friend- ex friend, was a ing doctor, so move her out of that room and perform the hell surgery!” I screamed and he sighed right after. He was as dire as me, but was very professional to handle the whole situation. “Tell me the truth, Mister. Do not use sugar-coated words to make me calm, because I never will. Tell me why are you not asking your members to move her out of that room straight to the operating room to fix her darn heart?!”

“Miss, If she won't respond to the shock within 8 minutes, we will pronounce her death.”

“You're kidding.”

“You want me to tell the truth, so I did. That is, If only her heart beats. Provided if that happens, we will be transferring her to the operating room. For now, all we can do is to pray for her to respond to the defibrillation. Life is just a matter between life and death. Everyone here living would come to an end.”

“Are you saying that I should calm myself, because dying is freaking normal?”

“Scientifically yes.”

I don't have time to vent myself and argue with him. He's as imbecile as people who tries to pretend they have wisdom and knowledge when they haven't. He's implying I should be calm, because everyone would die as well. Yes, as if it was that easy.

“How many minutes we- had.”

“7 minutes.”

No.

You can't leave, Hyemi. You shouldn't. You need to fight that darn disease or else you won't be seeing him anymore. Please.

I kept on breathing louder than I could. 30 seconds left and the room became oddly quiet. Only beeps, but no voices. “Hey, Why the hell I can't hear them operating the defibrillator?” My chest was going to explode anytime soon.

“Might be-”

 

I can't just sit here. I stood up on my seat, neared him. They were not doing their best. I still have 30 seconds left. If the doctors couldn't save her, then I ing will. I didn't have any knowledge about those terms and options, but I had the knowledge of what to do. Perhaps? It should work. I know it will. I need to believe. “Step aside.” I commanded.

“Sorry miss, we're not permitting anyone rather than-” I knew it right away. I kicked the front of his leg with my left foot and that made him squealed. I elbowed his head down as he bowed in pain of his leg. “S-stop.” I was scared, I was shaking, but now, Hyemi needs to live. If anxiety overcome my whole being, we would both fail. I ahead of the room, showing my silhouette.

“Time of death, 11:0-”

 

I won't let them judge her death yet. I still have 20 seconds.

I ran towards her dead body as the doctors were startled from my act. Everyone went hysterical, as I keep myself partly lulled. 15 seconds left I could feel it. 14, 13, 12, slowly it ticked. Every step was a millisecond fast. Every breath was as quick as my sprint. The doctors held my body as I finally approached her beside. Indeed, these doctors ain't sporty as I expected. I stepped their feet and made them screamed. Kicking their legs gently, they lost balance and stumbled.

My opportunity was in front of me.

Finally.

 

Clasping my hands together forming a fist, I raised them up. Cold sweat fell on my cheeks, as they screamed 'Miss' in chorus. You can't die, Hyemi. Please.

 

8, 7, 6 seconds, I won't be late. I shouldn't be.

 

I jumped as they held my foot to stop me, but It was too late. I landed both of my clenched hands, smashed the center of her chest with all of my power as if I smashed a sword from the air to the ground. It was a force that could make you collapse. It was a force of a man. I saw her body bounced to what I did. IS SHE ALIVE?!

Suddenly, I felt a burning pain on my scalp, noticed that it was my hair being pulled, but I'm not surprised. I didn't wince. It was as I expected.

 

After I fell, I held my breath, everyone did too. The time felt it stopped. I was tearing up in worry. Waiting for a reply, it answered.

the electrocardiogram beeped.

 

 

It was a success.

 

 

****

 

“You do know that it was a crime?” The doctor whom I don't know what position asked.

 

“It was, but it wasn't, because I saved her. Even if I hire a lawyer, and your hospital hires a prosecutor, the trial will be useless, because we all know who will be the winner here.” Saying these in front of them made me realize that I'm not that girl I used to before. Of course, the social fear was here, but it wasn't strong as it used to be. I have the courage to fight what is right, and it was a pleasure for me. I'm getting courageous. “Some of you would be desperate to do that as well, especially if you're like me who didn't pursue medical career, but are health conscious and have a bit of knowledge about medicine. I would like to thank the nurse for giving me the 8-minute-rule or else she would be dead by now.” I sighed. “Please trust your patients. They're asking for your help so please help them.

Even if it's impossible.”

 

Hyemi was in the operating room already as I talked to these doctors who performed the resuscitation. “You won't understand.” The head doctor said. “It's hopeless. You're just lucky. It was just a miracle.”

“Well maybe I don't understand, and it was just a miracle. I know she's frail. I know she's on the worst stage, but do you see me being negative right now? I may not know those terms, what actually happened, how can everyone call it worse, but.., now, I won't be pessimist. At least I should for her... Where everyone seems to lose hope, I should be her light.” I gulped. Melancholy devouring my soul, and negativity whispering my mind to give up on her, but no. I believe she can do it. It might be for Jungkook, it might be for the members, whatever it is, I want her to live. Not because she has a promise to fulfill, but it would be because she's an ARMY, and I don't want a member of the family to die.

I don't want her to die.

 

 

 

 

*****

 

Minutes passed I didn't know I fell asleep. Pictures of her ran in my mind, that even after I woke up I saw her in front of me staring and grinning, but I found out that I was just hallucinating. I was extremely disoriented by stress that I thought I was in the dorm sleeping, and everything was fine. Seconds after that, everything came to reality that I was waiting a person to arrive from Operating Room. Staring at nothing, I tried to recall her face in my hallucination. Those smiles were pretty as if she wasn't frail. Indeed, she was my girl crush. “I want to see that smile once again, Hyemi, so please live.” I grinned at the white painted wall. I noticed that I'm the only person here, so it wouldn't be weird to talk to myself.

I searched for my phone to find out that I rested for only thirty minutes. I wondered on how the surgery was going. “Jungkookie, sorry for not answering. I'm still here at the hospital. The front desk told me that my mom's information of the past bills were accidentally deleted on their database.” Nice stupid alibi for a guy who doesn't know about security and database what- “The security and their I.T department are searching for the lost files so it might take a while. Don't worry, I'm used sleeping late. All of you should sleep now. I'll go home once I'm done.”

“You sure you're okay? You sound congested and your voice is husky.” Oh right. Jungkook noticed what I didn't detect. I remember I cried before taking a nap so it must be it. “Winter season. You should know that it has a big deal for us with rhinitis.”

“You're allergic to cold?”

“No, Dust.”

“Then you're just allergic to dust?”

“Yes.”

“Then it's not allergy. It's cold. Please go home. I won't sleep til you're here.” Oh gosh, this boy is making it more complicated. “Or perhaps you're lying.”

“Err no? I can take a selca to prove that I'm inside the hospital.”

“No. It's fine.” I heard his voice shaking. Is he using the massage chair again?
He hanged the phone and left me speechless. Soon after, he left a message asking me to drink a lot of water and medicine before going home, because he prepared a soup. Made by whom? Seokjin? Of course it would be Seokjin.

I took a deep sigh as I embraced the cold hallway of the hospital. Time ticking slow, as usual if you were waiting for something to happen.

But I guess I wouldn't be waiting anymore.

 

Time passed and someone from the operating room stormed out of the room. A representative? Still with his surgical mask and scrub cap, he approached me slowly. I stood up, anxious but still forcing my smile. I bowed to him and gulped.

 

 

 

“We did our best.”

“And?”

“But.” he corrected.

 

“But?”

 

“She didn't make it...”