Lost in the meandering of the City of Seoul, JJ stopped in front of a yellowed poster, forgotten in the corner of an old shop. In front of him, five young men almost looking back at him, dressy and smiling. Their lean bodies, sophisticated hair and perfect faces, everything in them could only catch the eyes. Five simple men whose names had been on the lips of the whole country only few years before. At one time, you could find them on all advertisement support, from instant ramyun to high technology goodies, at times cute and friendly, then charismatic or y. Sure, they were popular, or more likely they had been.

He used to often look at those ads with a proud smile. Now more than ever, but his smile turned slightly bitter. Whenever he noticed one of those old pictures, he still couldn't refrain from stopping on the spot and contemplate the said image for a long moment. 

In fact, he never loved publicity much, neither was he particularly narcissist to spend hours looking at himself on a poster, but those remains of their past lives always gave him this kind of melancholy he couldn’t part with.

“Dong Bang Shin Ki”

It used to be their name. This precious something they had in common they could show off more proudly than any luxury good.

How he loved to watch those candid faces, scrutinize them, envy them. He loved seeing those four smiling boys facing him, happy and carefree. Yeah four, since the fifth one, he couldn’t envy him. Despite his popularity, he knew he was far behind. Less entertaining, less eloquent, less reliable. Obviously, he was not bad looking, but wasn't it exactly his only role? Visual. Was he anything beyond a pretty face in this group? Of course, he had been the lead singer as well, but that was when they still share the same passion, the same songs, the same stage… when they were still Together.

This dark spark those posters always rekindled, he also felt it on the morning, in front of his mirror. He was used to be called a narcissist and liked to take care of his appearance, but the mirror reminded him of the reality. As if the reflection in front of him was necessary to remind him of who he was. He truly needed it.

Somewhere in his heart, there was still the quiet and tone deaf country boy he had been when he first met Junsu and Yunho. Many fans mistook his looks to his four bandmates, - especially their leader, for some unknown reasons – but he couldn’t help it. On occasion, he surprised himself looking at them dreamingly, between love and admiration, like a fan would. Despite sands of time, he sometimes realized they were all idols, real stars, untouchable and almost unreal. Sometimes he almost doubted he had been really part of this group. It had been almost a dream. As if he would end up waking up brutally after a long night.

For a short time, after their fourth album, he thought he was part of this world, their world. He felt like a star himself, strong and invincible. He overestimated his strength. He had been greedy, too presumptuous and immature. It was a rightful goal but his way had been wrong. He was the oldest, they trusted him. He believe it too, gullibly, that he would be able to fight against the company and keep everything as it was. No matter how he tried to deny it, he knew he was responsible for what happened. Life asks for sacrifices, their bond had been sacrificed because of him.

They had been climbing up to the top together, side by side, but with what happened he noticed he had been out of place. What was he beside a pretty face? Nothing more than a superfluous piece who ended up crushing their equilibrium. It had been hard for all of them, but it would have probably been much easier without him. Otherwise, shouldn't he have been able to keep them all by his sides?

With much difficulties, he managed to break away from the hypnotizing image. He tried to gather his mind and started walking again to the restaurant his colleagues were already waiting for him. He knew the way by heart and head forward like a robot.

When he reached the cosy room prepared for them, most of his co-workers were already there. Unconsciously, his eyes scanned through them, looking for Yoochun. Junsu, he already knew, was still in the recording until evening and would join them later. Yoochun, however, was supposed to be with them but was nowhere to be seen.

“Yoochun is not here yet?” he asked confused.

“Ah, Yoochun-sshi has been called for a last minute interview about his drama. He will be a bit late,” a female staff he barely knew reply gently.

“Weren't we supposed to work on the plan for our next comeback?”

“Of course, but...” she started, only to get cut off suddenly.

“How are we supposed to work if he's not here?” Jaejoong snapped, a bit harsher than he expected it to be.

She looked back at him confused. “Well, Yoochun-sshi said that it shouldn't be too much of a bother since Junsu-sshi wouldn't be there either and you will be the one handling the artistic direction...” she tried e