a/n: first out of six parts and it's only 1k words long~

it's all about what sunggyu thinks of sungyeol, but it's what i think he does think about him lol

i hope you understand that i don't know anything beside my wild guesses hehe~

have fun (and don't cry if you're as sensitive as me)!

- hanie

The leader had the right to come first, but it didn‘t mean he wanted to.

“I‘m really awkward with such things..” he mumbled. He couldn‘t do this, it was embarrassing. “What am I even supposed to say anyway?” Sunggyu asked himself while looking his teammates in the eyes.

“Uhm,” Woohyun mused, “how about you just start to tell us what the name ‘Sungyeol’ makes you think about?”

The elder looked at him, disbelieve written all over his face. “You all know, it's ‘being insecure’ and ‘brushing off compliments’.” He sighed, how was he supposed to tell his real feelings without hurting him on the process? After all, the taller will get to see this one day.

“Continue,” Woohyun pressed, the other members just watching him with silent pleas to go on and help them to be honest later on, too.

“Okay,” he cleared his throat. “When he joined the last and stood tall at the doorway, the CEO standing next to him, I didn‘t think he‘d make it. His legs and arms were never-ending and he was way too energetic, still is.”

The others laughed, yeah, Sungyeol didn‘t forget how to stay a little kid.

“It wasn‘t easy, we were almost ready to debut and then he came, into a group of six strangers and I didn‘t know how to manage another newbie. Sungjong was a handful already!” Ignoring the protest the youngest had to add, he went on, “After a week of practising and constant talks with Jungyeob, I tried to understand this weird kid. Knowing the background and where he came from, I couldn‘t help but pity him. So I started to give you all orders and help this guy.” He smiled, that was a sweet memory. “He made so many mistakes, Howon literally had to punch the steps into his brain, but he was hard-working and a perfectionist at that. I still remember that time after we debuted and he was one of the fastest to learn the choreography. I was proud of us and him.”

“So you favour him?” Woohyun asked, a pout visible behind one of Myungsoo‘s big- cameras.

“Of course I do!” Sunggyu agreed. “I think the day we‘ve all helped him out and him taking the advices to heart, I may have had that weak spot for him since then.” His lips formed a smile, a sincere one, and he wasn't ashamed. That's how things were. “I wouldn‘t mind dating and marrying him, if that‘s what he wants!” he joked and the others burst out laughing.

Then they remained in silence.

The leader sighed again. “He once asked me to help him out, without telling the others. I had to because I‘m the leader and how could I tell you when he asked me not to?” The question was left hanging in the air. “It was about his family and his background. You know the things about his aunt and he mentioned this someday in an interview, he didn‘t want the others to think he got in because of her. So he showed me some videos, really embarrassing ones, but at the same time it made me see a different side of him, the serious one, and I was amazed. I praised him way too much, he brushed it all off and asked me, if he showed you guys and the world, “Would they laugh at me and think that?” I said, no, it wouldn‘t affect you at all.” He couldn‘t stop sighing. “In the end, he didn‘t show you.” He shook his head.

“Was it really embarrassing?” Hoya asked.

“Nah, more funny than everything else.”

“Then why..-”

“You know why. Everyone knows, even his fans. I mean, I praise him more than I should and more than I ever did with you. Why doesn‘t he believe in himself??” He couldn't understand it. “He‘s caring, even though he looks like the prankster next door. And he always listens to me, tries to give me advices and lets me rest on his shoulder at times. He‘s such a great listener, I always tell him, but he won‘t listen. What kind of lame joke is this?!”

The other members sensed the frustration that‘s going to bubble up soon.

“He was there for me while he wasn‘t active in those eight months and helped me with stuff, he helped you guys, too. He‘s reliable and even though it hurt him practising with Myungsoo, he didn‘t say no. He never did.”

“I‘m sorry,” the visual mumbled, his gaze directed to the ground.

“Yah, don‘t you dare think it‘s your fault he‘s like this!!”

“But-”

“Myungsoo-yah!”

He shut up and didn‘t look up for a long time.

“He probably knows what we‘re all thinking about, that we‘re trying to lift his worries with mere words. He should realize how much he‘s worth and that he is great the way he has always been. He shouldn‘t compare himself with an old man like me, who embarrassed himself a lot of times in front of him. But I‘ve never heard anything, no jokes or teasing, he always kept what I told him and still does. Like an unmoving mountain he bares all my flaws with his own and it‘s sad to watch him live on like this.” He gulped the imaginary lump in his throat down. “I've seen him cry countless times behind the curtains before, you don‘t know how heartbreaking it is to see your unmoving mountain crash down and fall apart.”

Silence followed his speech, it never had been easy for them all to talk about Sungyeol breaking down.

“Sungyeol-ah,” Sunggyu addresseed and looked straight into the camera, “let me, us, help you and bare all your insecurities together. Aren‘t we a family, too? Aren‘t we brothers? You should rely on us, we can do this together!” He sniffed and some tears dared to fall down his cheek. “Please, lean on us. You mean a lot to me and I want you to be happy!”

Woohyun was about to say something but the leader stood up and left the room and the greasy boy forgot what he even wanted to know.

The first part out of six was done and it made the oldest cry. What will happen to the other remaining five?