Mina’s body was a gruesome artwork of wounds and cuts and bruises. 

For 3 days, Mina had requested Momo to slice her skin apart. Bit by bit. She knew why Momo liked doing it to herself now. It was satisfying. it kept her alive, convinced her that she was still human and shed blood. Red, hot blood. Nothing Mina had ever done in her controlled life felt that real. 

A lot of blood was lost during that time. But Momo provided her with enough food to keep it going. Judging by how skinny Momo was however, Mina wasn’t sure if Momo actually ate anything. 

All the while, Momo kept herself outside of the cage and Mina inside. She had never set foot inside the cage after the first time.

They had talked. She remembered Momo saying to her in this voice, this voice that affected her in many ways, “you don’t have to do this.”

And she said back, “Yes I have to, it’s what I want. ”

Momo smiled demonically, “you just seem so vulnerable, I won’t be able to control myself,” a glint of spite in her eyes. And it terrified Mina like the very first time she saw it. “I might consider killing you.”

Mina’s held her own hands to keep them from shaking as she watched Momo exit the room, her fading shilouette the only thing engraved in her mind.

Another time, Momo surprised her with an unexpected question, “What was your life like…? Before this?”

“Nothing but doing things that I didn’t enjoy. My life wasn’t my idea, I didn’t own it.”

“If I take you home now, will you be happy?”

Mina thought of her parents that didn’t bother to look for her, her arranged relationships, her hectic work schedule and everything that laid ahead. Nothing had a point.

“Nothing changes.”

Momo looked at her deeply, pondering, thinking. And then she smiled, a smile that sent goosebumps across her skin yet somehow aberrantly loved. 

———————————————————————————————————————————

Mina gazed at her arm in the silence of the room; her skin a grotesque patchwork of healing, healed and wounded skin. Mina took a deep breath, one that shook her entire being, and let it go. Feeling raw and tender all over, Mina tried to stand, but her legs failed her completely, sending her barrelling towards the carpeted floor. It was punishment of days of constant self-inflicted cutting on her thighs, her calves and her feet. 

As Mina’s cheek collided with the carpet, tears started pooling at the base of her eye. Mina laid there, for a while, the tears a never ending stream. The candle flame kept her company in the darkness while her own body was struggling to keep up. It felt so much like a burden to have around. That was why she wanted to cut herself, cut herself free. Free.

An overwhelming feeling of dramatic grief washed over her like a tidal wave, manifesting in the tears that were now streaming down the side of Mina’s bruised face. She felt so vulnerable, so weak. She shut her eyes hoping for some sort of relief and immediately there was a burning sensation under her eyelids. 

She got into a sitting position, using her wounded arm to wipe the tears gently. It was very painful to even raise her arm at that point. If it was pure regret that she felt, Mina wouldn’t have continued to request for it. Then why was she crying? Momo? Because of Momo?

Looking at it, Momo was in the same situation as her. But unlike, Mina, Momo didn’t have anyone else to do it for her, with her. She was completely alone in the struggle to feel alive…

Mina, had Momo. Even though Momo was the one that brought her here in the first place. forcing her to feel the need to be alive, Mina was sure that she would have done the same out there. And she was sure of the loneliness it harbored. And there she was trying to help Momo previously. She was so oblivious to what lies deeper beyond her own being.

In actual fact, Mina did it to herself. What was her plan of escaping now turned into self-harming because of the complete loss of hope. But now that she too much time to think, her brained screamed at her that her old life wasn’t worth fighting more. And those emotions she had bottled inside her during then had exploded, resulting in her landing herself in this mess. 

Momo…Mina let a small smile form on her chapped lips. Mina cried for her. It was for her. There was no reason as to why Mina let her tears fall for her. 

Although she didn’t know much about her ‘kidnapper’, just the sight of her made Mina happy. Happy in a strange and twisted way. Happy that Momo was helping her hurt herself, happy that Momo introduced everything to her, happy. Happy. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

Momo had her head down as she sat in front of Mina’s cage like she always did. Her blonde hair was dry and stark in the darkness of the room. 

They bathed in the silence for a moment, then a voice.

“Can I touch you?” Mina asked tentatively, quietly. Momo’s hair seemed so jumpy and real, so soft that Mina could not resist the urge to reach out and touch it, to make sure that it was all real. That she was real. It was all about feeling real.

It’s been long since Mina touched anything of substance, or another human being for that matter. So at that moment, Momo seemed so desirable. 

Momo said nothing, she just kept her head down, seemingly entranced by the carpet. Momo didn’t speak much. Mina sensed that she was keeping a thousand secrets locked up inside her, and those secrets threatened to spill out of her at any moment. Mina wanted to know why, why Momo became like this. She didn’t think of Momo was a kidnapper, she thought of Momo as a girl who needed love. And Mina was going to give that to her, in hope of alleviating Momo’s desire to kill her.

So, Mina reached out and rested her hand on Momo’s blonde hair. Her delicate fingers intertwining with the strands of it. It felt almost soothing, comforting. Momo stiffened but didn’t move away nor threatened her. Mina took the risk to continue exploring, caressing, like Momo was something that Mina could never have, ever. Since when did Momo became a treasure for her to find?

Mina Momo’s hair even gentler.

Mina took the risk and questioned, “Why did you kidnap me? How did you even know about me?”

“I’m sorry.” That wasn't the answer she had wanted to hear.

“Tell me.”

Momo took a deep breath and it quivered at she exhaled. She said nothing for a long while, her eyes trained on the floor, her legs. Then she began, her voice seemed to betray her mind.

“Both my parents, passed away when I was really young. So I was, tossed out into the streets..” Momo trailed off, a certain kind of pain hit her in the gut. Mina’s gaze drifted from her hair to her face, worried that she might had inadvertently hit a switch somewhere inside her kidnapper.

“This lady, she took me in. And that lady, was your mother’s best friend. I always admired you from afar, Mina. You never noticed me because you were rich. I was nothing.”

Mina swallowed, weighing how much of the story is true. And then it hit her like a truck, the girl that had almost always stared at her, smiled at her like she was the only thing she valued in the whole, entire world. That was her? Momo?

“I really liked you Mina. I did. But I never said anything. I liked your kind heart, your willingness to help people. I… had to do things that I would never forgive myself after my only guardian died like both my parents.”

Mina’s heart trembled, her eyes watering. Momo…she was a part of her life? How did she become like this? 

As if reading Mina’s mind, she answered, “I killed someone. He…he stabbed her…in front of my eyes, with a knife. I fought with him and used his own knife to stab him like he did to her. I ran and have been on the run ever since. I nearly died that day, and you were there.”

Mina tried to recall everything, her memories fogging up like her vision.

“You were there and you didn’t help me because you were scared,” Momo spit out, a lace of hate lined her voice and almost immediately that hate turned into hurt. Her voice quivered.

“There was nothing you could do. And I think a part of me blamed you. I hated myself for that, Mina.”

A deep guilt blossomed inside Mina and manifested itself as a stream of tears. She placed both her hands on Momo’s face and guided it upwards to look at her. It was sodden with tears, the reflection of light bouncing along her face. There was so much pain in her eyes, those of a murder, those of someone who never got noticed by the person she loved, those of someone who lost their real parents.

And it made Mina want to kiss those tears away. She had never known that girl with the messy hair, the girl with that crooked smile was Momo. She remembered Momo as the awkward and weird kid around the block. 

Now, as she sees the cuts on Momo’s arm; one had began to bleed again, she knew why Momo had to resort to that. She had no one, absolutely no one, except Mina. And Mina felt the same towards Momo. Both of their loneliness had drawn them to each other like magnets under the most painful circumstances, but it happened and they found each other.

She can’t believe how selfish she was to not notice the suffering that Momo had to go through. Everything was at her fingertips resulting in her being so oblivious to the real things that were happening around her.

“I’m sorry, Mina. I have the heart of a murderer and the mind of a psychopath. I had hurt you, I wanted to hurt you.”

And there Momo was apologising to her when she was the one who should be apologising for her ignorance. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Momo. You deserve everything that I stand for. You are not a murderer, you are much more than that.

Mina used her thumbs to wipe away the tears that ruined Momo’s beautiful face.

“Please forget that I have said anything about my life. Please. I don’t want to remember. I am nothing but a kidnapping maniac, remember that. I am not the Momo from back then. I lost her when I murdered him. I am not her.”

And when those words hit Mina’s ears, she forgot who she was. She was just so enamoured by Momo’s world, that she leaned in and kissed her. 

Momo unlocked the cage. Immediately, Mina placed her hand on the back of Momo’s neck and pulled her into a second kiss. Momo, simply tilted her head and breathed into her as if she had expected it.

Mina’s face was burning like the hottest fire in the world, heating her up until her entire body felt like it was the centre of the earth. Just the feeling of Momo’s lithe body pressed up against her was intoxicating, creating even more friction and heat between them. It was like Mina had never felt more alive. And when Momo aggressively bit on Mina's bottom lip, she felt like she was flying. Mina smiled as she continued to kiss her gingerly yet assertively.

Lips moved, bodies moved, the candle flame danced. Momo’s lips were the most pleasurable thing that Mina had ever felt on hers. She had kissed guys before but none of them gave her the same butterflies as Momo did. Her kidnapper, her murderer, her psychopath. 

When they finally broke the kiss, Momo leaned her forehead onto Mina’s and said, more to herself than at Mina, “ You make me fall so crazy in love with you.”

“I did too.”