It’s already the middle of autumn. Chilly air blows from one direction, threatening to weaken the rust coloured leaves that are still clutching onto the branches tightly. Most of them had already withered and fallen to the ground long before the wind even reaches to them. One by one, they fall and collide gently onto the huge golden blanket.

Even the leaves change colours…
Even summer has to go eventually…

Sinb sprints down the path as she holds her skirt down, struggling to prevent it from lifting up. She is running late. Fortunately, her legs bring her right past the gate before it is locked by the school janitor.

Panting heavily, she wipes the sweat on her head before heading up the flight of stairs. Chatters and laughter reaches her ear from a distance when she turns into the corridor.

“Oh,” she is greeted by Eunha the moment she enters the classroom, “Sinb has finally arrived!”

“What’s the commotion about?”

Sinb settles her bag onto her desk before following her gaze to the direction the girl is pointing at. Grinning from eye to eye, she watches as the raven-haired girl comes into her sight and holds up an envelope in her hand – a familiar baby blue coloured one.

“Yuju; she got another love letter from the same admirer again!” Yerin joins in.

She chuckles at the adorable sight before looking back at the protagonist. The way her cheeks blush at the attention she’s receiving and how she grabs the envelope possessively can’t help but put a faint smile at the corner of her lips.

She’s smiling because of her.

∞

Weeks pass by in the blink of an eye. Yuju continues to receive letters filled with sweet and mushy words; sometimes she would even find a small carton of milk lying in her locker in the morning. However, the identity of the sender is still a big mystery.

Sinb looks around to her surrounding and once she is sure that nobody is present, she swiftly moves to the locker beside hers and places a chocolate bar with a new envelope in it. Then, she closes it with a heavy heart. A bitter smile is formed on her face.

“I’m such a coward,” she mutters as she knocks her head onto the hard surface.

“Sinb?”

The devastated girl jumps up in shock as the familiar figure walks towards her with a beaming smile, “Why are you still here?”

“I just finished with my club activities.”

“Really?” Yuju is definitely surprised. “Me too!”

Sinb moves aside and watches as the girl opens up her locker before reverting her attention back to her. However, when the girl suddenly grabs her arms excitedly, she can feel her heart racing and blushes creeping up onto her cheeks before the warmth even reaches her skin.

She’s too close.

“Let’s go home together every week on this day!”

She can only nods lightly and the conversation is immediately left behind when the new set of gifts appears in the other girl’s sight. And then, she stays on her spot as she keeps her ears open widely to the compliments dedicated for her again. They feel like sugar.

The urge to reveal herself crosses her mind every time, especially at this moment. Nervousness engulfs her as she clenches her fist. She realises she still can’t do it.

Then again, she is contented because she’s still smiling because of her.

∞

Sinb keeps her focus on the path ahead while pedalling her bicycle with her feet. They ride their way home side by side in silence while the girl occasionally turns her head to take a peek at the other one. Wind blows into their face and Yuju has to repeatedly push those strands of hair back into the back of her ear. That simple action is enough to set fire in Sinb’s heart.

“Are you always this quiet?” Sinb immediately looks away at the sudden eye contact.

Scrambling her thoughts, she tries to think of an answer when giggles are emitted from the girl beside. “You look awkward with me.”

“No, no!” She panics before clarifying in a voice that’s barely audible, “I’m just really shy in front of someone I’m not close with.”

Biting her lips in anxiety, she lowers her head. She feels like she has messed it up.

“Relax, I’m just teasing you!”

The amusement on Yuju’s face is evident and she feels herself loosen up at the sight before joining in the laughter. However, she haven’t even fully regain herself from the previous setback when the other announce something else, “Let’s race to the tree over there. The loser will have to treat the winner drinks!”

Sinb is left dumbfounded when she sped off right after she finishes her words. It was then she pick up the realisation that the other girl was trying to trick her. Gathering her momentum, she tries her best to catch up but the girl in front just keeps getting smaller and smaller in her view. Even when she turns her head back, she realises that she can’t make out her face clearly anymore. It is a blur.

The sun drowns in the horizon and fills the sky with arrays of gold. The clear water in the river reflects the magnificent view from its opposite at the right moment. It is simply a breath-taking sight. However, when the other girl comes into the picture, she witnesses how her beautiful silhouette fits into the background. They complete each other.

November is ending soon but she’s getting further and further away.

∞

Winter has already set in for close to three months and the snow is starting to fade away. With the school crest on the left side of their jacket, the students stand proudly in their high school uniform for the last time while listening attentively to the speech given out by their principal and teachers.

The clock ticks by and Sinb feels glad that it still reads morning.

She looks on as some of the students go down the stairs after receiving their certification and immediately burst into tears. She is taken by surprise when Yuju reaches her arms out to her and engulf her into a tight hug while tears stain her sleeve. Her heart sinks at the sight.

She wipes her tears but is more dejected at the thought that this is probably going to be the last time.

The ceremony ends and it’s the first time for Sinb; that hours feel like minutes.

She scans her sight at the crowds for a certain girl but she isn’t there anymore. Immediately, she pushes her way out of the hall and dashes down the flight of stairs. She comes into an abrupt stop when she sees the familiar back sitting on the bench, with that letter in her hand.

In the end, she came.

Reaching her hands out into her bag, she takes out the scarf she has been knitting for months. She wants to go forward and declares her love openly for her but her legs keep her stuck in the same position. Fear and uncertainties surround her and she can only look helplessly at the girl who’s waiting for someone who will never come.

Somehow, Yuju is the beautiful scenery who is so far and untouchable. No matter how hard she tries to capture it, she will always be out of her reach. Even if she can only look at her back forever, she figures out that it will be enough.

She is still a coward.

I wonder because I can’t approach
I look away even though I like you
The harder I try to get closer
The farther our hearts drift away

I linger because I can’t see you
We’re like parallel lines
But we can’t be, I know we’ll end up together somehow
I’ll wait forever

I couldn’t tell you, but I loved you
Like a dream come true, like a miracle
If only I could run through time and grow up
I’d hold your hands in this crazy world

We keep crossing each other, no matter how we try to come together
I haven’t been able to tell you I like you
I see you, hesitating
I guess we’re still so young

The little space between us won’t fill
We’re like parallel lines
Someday, I’m going to tell you what I couldn’t
I’ll come for you, forever

I couldn’t tell you, but I loved you
Like a dream come true, like a miracle
If only I could run through time and grow up
I’d hold your hands in this crazy world

Even when we get lost, trapped in time
We’ll end up together somehow
Please know I mean everything I say
Even if I don’t sound ready

I couldn’t tell you, but I loved you
Like a dream come true, like a miracle
If only I could run through time and grow up
I’d hold your hands in this crazy world

She remembers spending the whole night writing it. Those words; they sound so delicate and fragile just like her feelings towards her. Tears welled up in her eyes and this time, she doesn’t try to hide it anymore. She let them fall freely to anywhere they want to.

Turning her body around reluctantly, she tears out a page of the notebook from her bag before penning some words onto it. Then, she stuffs it deep into the softness of the material she’s been holding onto before putting them in her locker for the last time.

And she left, without turning back.