Really, for the day, this was probably the twentieth time Sanghyun had sighed. He looked up at the clock and sighed again until his best friend sitting beside him exhaled harshly and nudged him on the arm.

        "What is it with you?" Joon asked with deep frown on his face. He raised one brow when he saw how Sanghyun's lips tugged downward safely.

        "My mom cancelled my credit card because I fail my math paper." Sanghyun told, sighing yet again. "I don't think this summer trip still on."

        "What? You can't do this. We've planned that trip since last year. I won't allow it."

        "I don't have money Joon. How the hell can I go to that trip? Just ask others to join."

        Joon scowled. "Ugh! I can't travel with other people. You know I always ended in a brawl with them."

        "That's because you're too picky and I'm the only one who can stand you." Sanghyun chuckled, bumping his shoulder to Joon's playfully.

        "Well, we still have six months before the scheduled date. Why don't you just do a part-time job? Our classes aren't that packed these days."

        "My mom will kill me if she knew. She wanted me to focus on study."

        "Well, don't do obvious job." Joon said, wearing his characteristic smirk that said clearly he had something up his sleeves.

        Sanghyun narowed his eyes. "Such as?"

        "Come, I'll show you." Joon beckoned by tilting his head. He grabbed his sling back and walked out of the half empty classroom, waving goodbye to few of other students who had stayed back to finish their assignment.

        Sanghyun followed Joon until they reached the college cafe. Joon had choose a seat that was just beside a window and wide field with other students playing football could be viewed from the position.

        Joon took out his Mac computer and typing in silence while Sanghyun waited patiently. "Internet here is much faster." Joon told. He raised his eyes to meet Sanghyun's. "Ever wonder how am I able to purchase such branded clothes and this pretty baby here?" Joon asked slyly, ghosting his palm over his expensive laptop.

        Sanghyun leaned back on his seat, wondering. "Your parents?"

        Joon laughed. "Not a chance. I'd have better chance requesting all these things with your parents instead." He jibed. "I work."

        "You work? Where? How come I didn't know?"

        "Yup. I work everywhere. Here." Joon carefully turned the scree of the Mac to face Sanghyun as Sanghyun read the site Joon had surfed. His brows crickled together as his eyeballs moved from side to side, reading the words there. There was also one full picture of Joon and two profile pictures of the same boy.

        "What kind of job is this?" Sanghyun asked finally, eyeing Joon suspiciously. He did read. Very carefully at that. But he couldn't seem to understand.

        Joon rolled his eyes. "People paid me to talk to them." He explained.

        "What? That's not a job..." Sanghyun muttered, confusion all over his face.

        "Of course it's a job. We do something and we got paid, hence the definition of a job."

        "People would pay for that? How strange..." Sanghyun mused, throwing his stare outside of the window, blankly watching the football game that was ongoing at the field outside. After a few seconds, he returned his gaze to Joon. "You can talk to your friends and families all the same. And it would always be free of charge. Why the hell would people pay for something like that?"

        Joon exhaled, smiling widely. "You'd be surprised my friend. There's a lot of people who would pay for that. I have just started this work for about two months and I've met many kinds of people. You know, there're something we couldn't tell people we know. When that happen, we're in for a job." He jerked his eyebrows. "So, you're on?"

        Sanghyun pursed his lips, still being doubtful for some reason. "I don't know... I mean, I have never heard such job."

        "There's no harm. We just sat there and listen. If our client want some advice, we offer one. And they'll pay us a dollar for one minute. If you ask me, this is an easy job for such a high pay."

        "Maybe I could try..." Sanghyun finally decided.

        "Great!"

%%%%%%%%%%%

"You looked drained." Sanghyun simply glanced up without bothering to raise his head from resting on his arms which was crossed on the table. There stood Joon, grinning like always and Seungho standing behind the lad with an understanding smile.

        Seungho was Joon's neighbour and he was actually the one who founded this site. At first, Seungho was just doing a simple blog by himself, promoting about the service simply just out of boredom and in a need of some pocket-money. Seungho had planned to stop when he got enough money he wanted but the request kept on increasing by days and now, it had been two years since Seungho started this service. Joon was recruited just simply because that boy found out about this coincidentally when he was having dinner by Seungho's place and had been offered a job since Seungho didn't really have the time to fulfill all the requests flooding into site, what more with Seungho just got a stable job in a company.

        Sanghyun groaned and pushed himself up. He sighed a long and heavy breath. "I just met two clients and they kept yapping about their y girlfriend and some about wanting to cheat on her own husband. It was a long chat." Sanghyun complained.

        "Still better than me. One of my customer flirted with me." Joon said.

        "It's not that bad." Sanghyun said in response.

        "No if it was a girl. It was a man." Joon said casually.

        Seungho chuckled. "I got a client with HIV today." Seungho blurted out and the two younger stared at him. "She's a victim and she got HIV from that."

        Their smile fall. Sanghyun swallowed. "We got clients like that? That's... Horrible." He muttered quietly.

        "Yea. Horrible but our job is to listen." Seungho said. "There're a lot people like that. I can understand if she didn't want to talk about that to her family or friends." Seungho said. "She's planning on suicide."

        Joon gasped. "What did you do then?"

        "Kept listening." Seungho shrugged. "And... I think she just need an outlet to vent such unfairness that she had to face. She'll be fine. I can't do anything more."

        The table fall in silence for a few minutes.

        "It seems like an easy job, isn't it?" Seungho finally broke the silence after the drinks he and Joon ordered arrived. "It's not. It's emotionally draining and we might even got scarred mentally." Seungho chuckled bitterly. "I have done this for two years and I have met a lot of horrible stories. Some might make me lost appetite for days and deprived me of my sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about it."

        "What about now?" Sanghyun asked.

        "You still have dark circles." Joon chirp, gaining harsh kick on his shin under the table from Sanghyun.

        Seungho chuckled, this time sounded lighter. "Yea. They still affect me the same." He said. "It's easy to just be detach while listening to their stories but if we do that, then this isn't the kind of service they would want. They can detect when we truly listening or just simply hearing without trying to understand."

        "True..." Sanghyun breathed.

        "That's why I couldn't stop. I don't want to stop. Because they need me." Seungho continued. They were only interrupted when Seungho's phone ring, signally a new incoming notification. "Last request for the day." Seungho announced.

        "I'll take that." Sanghyun offered kindly, feeling the need for it seeing Seungho was already mentally exhausted for today. "It's probably a good idea for you to leave it to me."

        Seungho smiled. "Thanks."

%%%%%%%%%%%%

Sanghyun looked around the park. Since it's weekend, there were quite a lot of people scattered around this beautiful park. But there was only one in his mind. His client. They had promised to meet here, at one of the bench with the view of the lake. His client was wearing grey sweatshirt and pale blue jeans. It was kind of ordinary description but the client had already sent him a photo, so it wouldn't be that hard to look for.

        Sanghyun had his phone held up and the photo decorated the screen. From the photo, this boy seemed to be just around his age and for some reason, the photo of the boy widely grinning at the camera called a smile to Sanghyun's own lips. He wondered what kind of talk this boy wanted to do. In this photo, this person seemed so happy and possess a smile that could lit up the whole room. But, then again, it was just an impression Sanghyun got from the picture. Plus, everyone had their own problem. This boy was no exception.

        Sanghyun walked along the jogging track until he was around the lake in the middle of the park. He saw a mop of electric orange messy curly hair and when he approached anticipatingly, he saw the side profile of the boy. Yup. Definitely this one. He knew that smile which made Sanghyun smiled automatically.

        The boy was crouching by the lake, for some reason leaning dangerously close towards the lake with happy childish smile on his lips. The boy was too deep in his own world that he didn't even noticed Sanghyun was already towering over him until Sanghyun spoke.

        "Mir, right?"

        The orange hair boy squeaked and flailing his hands when he jolted in shock and almost splashed into the deep lake if not for Sanghyun catching the boy's left hand, easily pulling the boy until the boy fall back instead forward into the lake.

        Mir had this dumbfounded look on his face, blinking a few times before finally bursting into an embarrassed chuckles. "Oh wow... Thanks for saving me... Urm-"

        "Sanghyun. Call me Sanghyun." Sanghyun grinned, feeling light-hearted at the smile ghosting on Mir's lips. Something about that smile. It just somehow made him happy.

        "Okay then." Mir stood up, dusting off his pants before tilting his head to the side, towards one of the bench near. "Let's sit there first."

        Both of them walked side by side before sitting down, finally having some shadow to shield them from the glaring evening sun. It was quite warm this evening. Well, it was summer, what was they hoping for.

        "So..." Mir started after a few minutes of silence, his eyes were staring at the lake, his smile had faded even just a bit and like a puppet being tied to strings, amazingly, even the smile on Sanghyun's face fade away. "I have one question." Mir kept on talking without sparring a glance at Sanghyun. "I mean, sure you work by listening to people but you can talk as well right? I mean, answer my question, or are you going to charge more?" Mir finally side-glance to Sanghyun with a cheeky smile.

        Sanghyun smiled back but this time, he wasn't smiling from heart. It was just a courtesy. The exact smile Mir was putting forth right this moment. "No. Do ask. I'll answer as best as I could."

        "Okay." Mir inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly, directing his eyes to the sky. Orange had tinted the evening sky yet the sun was still hurting his eyes. "Will it be okay for me to disappear?"

        "Excuse me?" Sanghyun frowned, thinking that he might have misheard the other. Not a chance. He had since giving his full attention on his customer.

        "Will it be okay if I disappear?" Mir repeated, with that same sad smile, that same melancholic stare and that same wavering voice, threatening to crack.

        No. He obviously didn't want to disappear. Then why even ask such question?

        "I... I don't know how to answer that. But... Wait. Do I know you from somewhere?"

        Mir turned to stare at Sanghyun for a good long minute. "I don't think so. I haven't seen you before." Mir mumbled, still tracing every features of Sanghyun.

        "But you look familiar."

        Mir narrowed his eyes, leaning even closer to Sanghyun's face before backing away and shook his head. "Nah... Never saw you before. Hey! Don't stray from the topic!" Mir faked anger which drew a soft adoring chuckle from Sanghyun.

        "You're cute." Sanghyun commented out loud, already enlisting Mir as a potential best friend. But then again, he didn't even know Mir's real name. Most of their customers never revealed their real name.

        "Yea, tell me something I don't know. Hey! Wait! You're leading me away from the topic again. Answer me!"

        Sanghyun shook his head slightly. "Who are you going to disappear from?"

        Mir blinked. "Someone important." He averted his eyes and though Mir tried to hide it, Sanghyun could see the glassy look from the withheld tears.

        "Why?"

        "Well... I urm..." Mir paused a bit, seemingly trying to gather his courage. He forced a smile on his face. "I have lung cancer."

        Somehow, just right after those words escaped Mir's lips, a loud ringing sound blaring in Sanghyun's ear and everything went still. "Cancer?" Sanghyun breathed out as he felt blood were not reaching his head, making him dizzy. "Cancer?" He again, asked, hardly wanting to believe that this cheerful boy in front of him was being serious.

        Mir nodded, eyes glued to his own sneakers as he scuffed the ground with it. "I just know about it last week and... I have spent the rest of the week thinking about it. If I die... Then he will be sad. Really sad. I don't want that."

        Suddenly, Mir appeared like a child. A small vulnerable child and Sanghyun couldn't help outstretching his hand and patting Mir's back comfortingly. "What do you mean when you said you want to disappear?"

        "You know. Just leave the place and never let him see how sickly I will look in the future. It will break his heart."

        "From the way you're saying it, I can tell he's someone who you treasured a lot. Don't you think he treasure you the same way?"

        This time Mir nodded, soft smile ghosting on his lips. "Yup. We're like brothers. Real brother. He's... He's the only family I have."

        "Do you want to tell me the whole story?" Sanghyun asked, trying not to sound to demanding but he was curious. Too curious that he didn't realized he had been leaning forward, eyes trained on Mir.

        "I lost my family."

        Although Sanghyun should have known this boy with beautiful smile must have some dark history, he still was shocked. He just couldn't digest it. Not when this boy always flashed a beaming bright smile. It was too contradicting. The boy looked so happy but he wasn't. Was it...?"

        "And he took me in. He took care of me and treat me like his real dongsaeng. When I lost my parents and sisters, none of my other families want to take me in. They see me as bad luck. They accuse me for being the reason that cause my family death that at some point, I did believe their words. But he came along. He protect me. Take care of me. And convince me that I'm not a bad luck. That I'm his lucky charm." Mir laughed slightly, seeming truly happy. "Geunde... Maybe I am a bad luck... Look what I'm going to put him through soon..."

        And finally, even with that bright smile on, tears leaked from the wide eyes, wetting Mir flushed face. Sanghyun was conflicted on what he had to do now. Seungho reminded him to just sit and listen. Don't get too attached. But he just couldn't. He couldn't.

        And so he brought Mir's trembling figure into a comforting embrace. "Mianhe. I paid for you to listen. Not to hug me. But... Thanks. Really..."

%%%%%%%%%%

Sanghyun was in dazed for the whole day. He didn't even reacted at Joon who kept yapping behind his ears, even resorting to let out a shrilly supposedly rock like high pitch sound and even punching on Sanghyun's arm. Joon was totally ignored.

        "Okay that's it! What is wrong with you?"

        "What's wrong with me?" Sanghyun asked back apathetically, chewing on his pizza placidly making even Joon who was damn hungry actually lost his appetite.

        "You've been in your own little world since this morning!" Joon threw his hands up in the air, uncaring about other college mates who was throwing him a look. What? He could make noises in the cafe. It wasn't freaking library.

        Sanghyun sighed, putting down his half-eaten slice. "Seungho hyung was right. This is a hard job."

        It seemed that the light bulb that usually dim inside Joon's head finally lit up after years. "Does this have to do with your last customer yesterday?"

        "He looked so happy. How did he able to do that? I mean, he has this such bright smile, I swear it was so adorable and can lit the whole room and he looked so much like a sunshine or maybe a puppy yet he has such a dark story."

        "If you said about puppy, I know someone who looks like a puppy." Joon said, not really understanding Sanghyun's nonsensicle rambling. "I think that kid always hang around Byunghee."

        "Who's Byunghee?"

        "The one with the beard and who is really popular with freshmen. Oh! Speak of the devil." Joon tilted his chin slightly. "There, two tables across us.

        Sanghyun turned to look over his shoulder. His eyes widened immediately. "I KNOW I'VE SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE!"

        His loud voice startled everyone in the cafe, but the most startled one was the boy sitting right next to an older boy whom Sanghyun assumed as Byunghee.

        Mir threw Sanghyun a desperate look, shaking his head ever so slightly when Byunghee started asking him some question which was inaudible to Sanghyun who still had his index finger pointed to Mir.

        But Sanghyun could definitely read Mir's lips. Mir was telling Byunghee he didn't know Sanghyun and man, did it hurt.

        "Hey, sit down. You're embarrassing!" Joon hissed and pulled Sanghyun back down. "What? You know that kid?" He continued to ask once all the people in the cafe had finally dispersed and went back to their own bussiness. "Hey! Stop looking at him. You're making him uncomfortable."

        Reluctantly, Sanghyun tear his eyes away from Mir who was still being pressured from Byunghee. Probably more and more questions regarding to Sanghyun's outburst.

        "He's the one I met yesterday." Sanghyun whispered quietly.

        "YOU PABO!" This time, it was Joon who shouted. "Don't you remember what Seungho hyung told us? Those people told us secret which they didn't want people they know to know."

        "Ah..."

        "Really. Sometimes you're just an idiot." Joon shook his head in disappointment.

        Sanghyun glanced over his shoulder but Mir was no longer there. Just Byunghee and a few girls were talking. He made a mistake didn't he?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Sanghyun fiddled with his frapucino cup as he felt Seungho's glare drilling into his head. What could he say? He almost messed up.

        "Really. If you want to stay in this job, you really need to keep your mouth shut." Seungho said, rubbing his temple. "I have to go out in a half, guess who call me out, specifically requesting me or anyone else but you?"

        Sanghyun swallowed, feeling bitter taste behind his throat. He guessed alright. "M-Mir..."

        "Excellent! Stay away from him after this, Sanghyun. I'm going."

        However, before Seungho could leave, Sanghyun had grabbed the older's arm, clinging with almost half his weight. "Wait hyung! Just wait."

        "What do you want?" Seungho narrowed his eyes at Sanghyun.

        "Just give me this one last chance. Please."

        Seungho stared at Sanghyun for a while before his sharp eyes slightly widened in realization. "Oh my god, Sanghyun. You really don't suit this job. Just quit already." Seungho tried to shake Sanghyun off but it was in vain as Sanghyun just hang on his arm even more.

        "No, please hyung. He needs our help. I can tell."

        "But he didn't need yours."       

        "No, hyung. I know his stories. I assure you this won't happen again."

        "Sanghyun." Seungho warned with harsh tone. "Do you realize what you're doing right now?" He asked.

        Sanghyun leaned away slightly, confusion all over his features.

        Seungho let out a long sigh. "You're getting too attached to that boy, Sanghyun. You're going to get dragged down emotionally."

        "No, hyung. I just- He- We just..." Sanghyun let his eyes drifted to the floor. "I just want to help him."

        "Not this time, Sanghyun. You're too attached. I can see that. It's dangerous. Let me handle him after this. You can go and take care of other requests. I have mailed to Joon. Call him." And Seungho left. Left Sanghyun behind in a deep thought.

%%%%%%%%%%%%

It had been two months and Sanghyun never heard from Mir or about Mir anymore. Last time he met the boy was a coincidence like the day he saw Mir at the cafe. He was rushing to the toilet when he saw Mir bending over the sink, coughing loudly with tissue covering the boy's mouth and he saw the red tinted the piece of tissue as Mir retracted his hand.

        He had called and went over to Mir in worries, ignoring Seungho's warn of not to get involved anymore with the younger boy but the boy jumped up at his presence and tried to leave. Of course, he had grabbed a hold on the boy, trying to talk. He was still curious about the boy. He couldn't deny it and one thing for sure, he didn't want the boy to disappear. Because he knew it would break a lot of people's heart even though he had only met the boy thrice.

        Guess what Mir said to him? The boy actually apologize to him for requesting such thing from Seungho. And Mir actually had like talking to him before but the younger was just afraid Sanghyun would eventually told Byunghee everything Mir had spoken of.

        And Mir couldn't be more right as Sanghyun stood there, facing Byunghee whom had blocked the door to the empty classroom, about to spill all the secret Mir had told him.

        "You know Cheolyong, didn't you?" Byunghee asked. The older boy seemed quite disheveled from his usual image. His beard had grown longer, his eyes swollen and dark circles pressed under the rim of his eyes and from the look of it, the older boy didn't bother to comb his hair properly.

        "Cheolyong?" Sanghyun asked back but he already guessing that it was Mir's real name. Suit the boy itself. A light. "Not really."

        Byunghee let out a deep sigh, staggering a bit and collapsed against the door behind him, leaning there with sad eyes. "I don't know who else to ask..."

        Sanghyun gasped. "Did he leave? Did he disappear?" Was that why Sanghyun haven't seen Mir around no more? Did Mir really do what he had told Sanghyun before? Could Mir be doing something stupid?

        Byunghee sat up almost immediately at Sanghyun's response. "You know something. You know! I knew it! He had been acting strange after that incident in the cafe." He urged. "What did he tell you? Where did he go?"

        "I... I don't know where he goes..." Sanghyun muttered. "He... I shouldn't tell you."

        "Please..."

        The desperation in Byunghee's voice and the way Byunghee was looking up at him was enough to shatter down his wall, not that he had much to start with. Strangely, not when it came to Mir. He hadn't been agreeing to Mir from the very start. Leaving those people who cares because he love them? That didn't make sense at all to Sanghyun. What Mir needed right now was people that care about him and from the sound of it, it was this exact boy whom had been driven to such bad state just because of Mir's disappearance.

        Mianhe Mir...

        "He didn't want you to see him being so sick."

        "Sick? What do you mean?"

        "He... He told me he got... Urm... Lung cancer."

        There was a really tense silence that Sanghyun almost believe he could cut the air with a knife. Byunghee's face was impassive as his features slowly crumbled.

        "Lies..." Byunghee whispered, eyes flashing in anger. "Why would you lie about something like that?" He half shouted.

        "Why would I lie about something like that?" Sanghyun asked back.

        It took a long moment for Byunghee to finally gathering back his composure. Sanghyun just watched sympathetically as Byunghee dragged his heavy feet outside of the empty classroom and down the hallway. He was sure Byunghee wasn't even looking to where he was going to.

        "Where did you go, Mir?" Sanghyun whispered into the thin air, something heavy was pulling his shoulder down.

        Seungho hyung was right. I'm not suited for this job.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

"Quit?"

        It was exactly on the three months mark and it was two weeks left from the plan summer trip between Joon and Sanghyun. It had been an uneventful passing months and through the time, Sanghyun had slowly forgotten about Mir.

        "Both of you?" Seungho frowned in displeased, crossing his arms and tapping his foot onto the pavement. He was definitely not happy. "Why you too, Joon? I thought you like this job."

        Joon grinned innocently. "Actually... I got an offer to be a part-time model so I thought I want to try it."

        Seungho didn't look surprised. "I know this time would come eventually. I haven't realized half a year already passed since Sanghyun joined us." He turned to the quiet Sanghyun and clapped the youngster's shoulder like a proud father. "And you have been better at keeping distance from the customer."

        And when Sanghyun thought Mir had completely slipped off his mind. Something could be so easily passed him triggered that memory of the boy again. "Can't really say that since I was kind of bad at offering advices."

        "You did well."

        "None of them request me for the second time though."

        Joon chuckled. "That's because you look like you have no emotion. It make them feel like they are talking to a tree."

        Sanghyun shrugged. "I have to keep my emotion in check. Don't want things to repeat itself. So, Seungho hyung. Are you going to close down the site?"

        Seungho smirked. "I have no intention of doing that."

        Sanghyun ang Joon exchanged a look. "What will you do alone? You even got promoted last week and will be even busier. Surely you can't handle the site alone, right?"

        "Who said I'm alone?"

        "Well, Sanghyun and I are quitting remember?" Joon reminded. "Uh, hello. We just talked about it not five minutes ago."

        Seungho rolled his eyes. "Haven't you two notice your requests have been decreasing lately? That's because I already hired three new boys working for the site." He revealed much to Joon and Sanghyun's surprise. "Amazingly, all three of them offer to do it freely. And one of them is a doctor, you know. I feel proud."

        "Doctor? Why didn't we know anything about this?" Joon asked, pouting that there is still secret between Seungho and him.

        "I was about to introduce them to you today but since you two are quitting-"

        "We want to meet them!" Both Sanghyun and Joon exclaimed, throwing Seungho into fit of laughter.

        After Seungho reduced to small chuckles, he turned to glance over his shoulder. "You heard them."

        A figure stepped out of the big pine tree just by the pavement. It was an unfamiliar face with large thick glassed hand on the bridge of his high nose. He was smiling gently. Something about him radiating the aura of kindness and reliability. Must be the doctor.

        "This is Taewoo. He's the doctor." Seungho introduced. "Hey, come out you two." Seungho shouted back towards the tree and to Sanghyun's shock, it was Byunghee and...

        "MIR!"

        The boy in question smiled shyly and gave a small wave to Sanghyun. "Hi..." He greeted, immediately moved from clinging to Byunghee's arm and towards Taewoo. His way smaller boy almost got hidden behind Taewoo's bear-like huge frame. "Long time no see, Sanghyun-shi."

        "His name is Cheolyong, you see." Byunghee chipped in, petting Mir's cap covered head."

        "How- What- Why-"

        As Sanghyun stuttered, Mir giggled slightly, looking just as happy as he did six months ago.

        "Byunghee hyung found me." Mir simply said as if that would answer all the mixed up questions dumped on Sanghyun. "And I'm a fighter." He said with determined eyes, pumping his fist slightly.

        "Yes, you're a fighter. A very strong one." Byunghee cooed. Anyone could see how close those two were. How the relationship between those two surpass even the real brothers.

        "And a survivor." Taewoo interjected. "I'm the one in charge of him and I haven't seen someone as strong as this kiddo."

        "I'm proud of myself too." Mir joked.

        "But..."

        "And the whole time, I was fighting alone, I remembered the time when I spoke to you. What you said to me. How Byunghee hyung must have treasured me the same way I treasured him and if I'm in his place, I would want myself to fight and survive. And that's when I decided when I'm strong enough, I want to help people the way you did."

        What Mir, ani, Cheolyong had said cause Sanghyun's heart to bloom into a garden of flowers. Proud. Happy. And grateful. Maybe he suit this job after all.

        "You know what, Seungho hyung." Sanghyun went up to Mir, patting the boy's head, smiling so widely his cheeks hurt. "Maybe I don't want to quit after all."