"I'm sorry, Kyungsoo," breathes a boy into his ear; a warm forehead on his own and damp lips landing soft kisses on the bridge of his sniffing nose.

His name is Jongin: tall, dark and inexplicably handsome. 182 centimeters of pure heat radiates from his sculpted, dancer body, yet Kyungsoo is stiff, cold and numb. He feels nothing; not even the cold January wind that forces itself in between frail, bedroom curtains. There is a grip around his waist--nothing to him now--and he is universally drawn to the way the tanned boy's fingers would still rub small circles on the curvature beneath his shirt. 

Kyungsoo's heart beats criminally fast. It always has.

It is barely midnight when the older's heart falls to the floor, tears spilling past bright pulsating eyes and angry red cheeks. No matter how much a person expects a bad experience, no one can ever be half prepared for how it feels. A person can lie and lie and lie to themselves, play scenarios in their head about how they're going to keep their head above the water but it happens and then--nothing. For Kyungsoo, it is a ventriloquist dummy faltering of stance. Like a puppet held sturdily together by a thin string of thread; all it takes is a loosened grip for the toy to fall and break.

"Go," Kyungsoo bites, he snatches himself off a grip he once called home and turns a heel. This is the last time he ever wants to see those radiant, brown eyes and he doesn't want Jongin to remember him a crying, inconsolable mess. Jongin catches Kyungsoo's wrist in attempt to swerve him around, to no avail.

"Don't you want to talk about it--" 

"I don't," Kyungsoo croaks, trying his hardest for his voice not to break, "Grab your things and go." 

Head low, he drags himself to their previously shared bedroom as he brings up his shaking hand to wipe the dampness away from his lashes. Kyungsoo's poor heart is beating so fast he can feel it drumming against his ear, his lungs are trying so hard to keep up with his erratic breaths, his vision is cloudy and his legs can barely keep him up. Though blurry, his eye catches the soft