Chapter 4

Am I Alive?

    She had lost the feeling in her legs as the prickling against her burning throat and lungs slowly intensified until she couldn’t feel them either. The white of lights were speckled with dark spots all the while spinning in and out of focus. Her thoughts were limp and lifeless; no ends met or tangled with each other. Her hands curled into tight fists as she forced her legs the move forward. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see,  couldn’t reach their expectations. Squeezing her eyes shut, the sweet taste of her sweat and tears stung the corners of her eyes. One ragged breath after another, she pressed onward.

    “Faster!” the strict woman from the cafeteria blasted her whistle, “Faster! We’re not leaving until you three reach the time!”

    A small gasp escaped Eun Sung’s lips as she ran beside her, “I-I can’t…”

    Frida glared at the woman pushing the two girls forward even more, “We’re almost there…”

    Rose nodded, smiling weakly at the two of them, “Let’s make this one, okay? I don’t know if I can run another ten laps.”

    Choking back a sob, Eun Sung nodded slightly and sped up along side Frida and Rose. The dreaded white line against the pavement of the track inched forward as each breath of air spent burned their lungs. Eun Sung sniffled quietly, stumbling against the weakness in her legs. Grabbing her hand, Rose pressed her forward.

    “Almost there…” she coughed suddenly. A warm substance leaked from the corners of as she wiped it away hastily. Her arm was lined in red as the metallic tang of blood rose in . Squeezing Eun Sung’s hand, she pressed harder ignoring the dull throb in the back of her head.

    “Rose…” Frida coughed as well, “You need to stop,” she wiped her own blood staining with the back of her arm.

    Rose shook her head, “We’re almost there.”

    Eun Sung gripped her friend’s hand, “It hurts…” tears streamed down her cheeks as she began coughing as well, “I don’t want this anymore… It hurts…”

    Squeezing her eyes shut once more, she spent the last of her energy towards the reaching of the white line. One second passed. Two seconds passed. Three second passed. She grit her teeth forcing one last step out of her broken legs before dropping to her knees. Her back hit the pavement in a sharp thud as she curled up into a tiny ball against the shaking of her limbs. “We did it…” she breathed as the corners of her lips curled up into a weak smile.

    “Rose,” Eun Sung fell beside her, shivering against her sobbing.

    Frida remained standing, swaying slightly in exhaustion, “We did it…” dropping her head, her shoulders shook slightly.

    “Well done,” the strict woman in white pursed her lips grimly, “Get washed up and head straight to class,” she paused before adding bluntly, “Don’t even think about being late again,” with that, she marched through the door leaving the three of them alone.

    Sighing, Frida knelt down beside them, “Come on. We need to hurry or else we’ll be late again.”

    Nodding, Rose sat up, rubbing her head tiredly, “Eunnie…” she mumbled quietly.

    Eun Sung sniffed and sat up as well, “I know…” brushing the tears off her cheeks, she rose to her feet, “Come on.”

    Taking her friend’s outstretched hand, she stood up on shaky knees. “Where are the guards?” she yawned.

    Eun Sung laughed slightly, “We only have them in the morning and during the night, not school hours.”

    “Thank God for that,” Frida sighed.

    She nodded weakly as she followed the two girls through single open door at the back of the room. Black spots floated before her vision and her thoughts had become muddled and useless. Shivering suddenly as the distant breeze of air conditioning hit her in a single wave, the three friends crossed the threshold into the pale, flickering light of the white hallway. They dragged their feet in silence, ignoring the few stares and expressions of concern from the camp’s residents, and turned the corner into the dreaded locker rooms.

The stench of perfume nearly knocked her over as she clamped her hand over her nose. Coughing, she slipped inside and the door snapped shut behind the three of them. Swallowing, she shook her head and slowly removed her fingers from her reluctant nose. She never thought the smell of flowers could be so… vile.

“Here,” Frida tossed her a small, cold, metal object that was soon recognized as a lock before peeling off her clothes and stuffing them in the locker before her.

“Rose!” Eun Sung chirped happily, “There’s one right next to mine!” she patted the thin, grey metal of the locker.

Blinking, she nodded hastily before shuffling over to where Eun Sung stood. She hesitated as she slipped her clothes off, uncomfortable with the sudden exposure, and set them in the small space the locker offered. Pushing the door closed and fastening her lock around it, she straightened up, biting her lip nervously.

    “Hurry!” Frida called from the showers across the room.

    “We know!” Eun Sung smiled lightly, grabbing Rose’s hand and dragging her to the ice cold water and mountains of soap suds.

    Rose recoiled immediately as the hard beads of bitter water scraped against her . Shaking from the numbness slowly spreading throughout her body, she snatched a lump of soap floating in the water and scrubbed her hair and skin in such haste that she had hopped out of the shower in less than three minutes.

Groaning, Eun Sung stretched out her arms, “Someday the water will be warm,” she wrapped her blonde hair up in one of the white, itchy towels sitting in a neat stack beside the rows of lockers.

Twisting her own brown hair up in one of the thin towels, Rose smiled, “Then we’ll have to take an extra long shower.”

“Exactly!” Eun Sung grinned, “I’ve heard about these things called bubble baths- I’ve never had one myself- and you can add packets of perfume to the water and smell extra sweet!” she sighed, “Oh, how I’d love to smell like an aristocrat just once…”

A laugh escaped Rose’s lips, “What do aristocrats smell like?”

“Lavender,” Eun Sung slipped the towel off her head, “Or tulips, or daisies, or roses, or pine, or fruit, or vanilla, or-”

“They smell nice,” Frida cut her off, handing the pair of them a stack of crisply folded clothes, “Let’s just leave it at that.”

Slipping on her underwear, Rose smiled sadly, “Back in America, my mom used to always smell like pine.”

“Really?” Eun Sung asked excitedly, tucking her button-up, white, collared shirt into the red, plaid skirt.

“Yeah, and chocolate. She used to have a special stash in her desk that she would always eat when drinking tea,” pulling the towel off her head, she slipped the black blazer over her own shirt and skirt.

“I haven’t tasted chocolate in years,” Eun Sung sighed dreamily, “What was it like in America?”

“Um… It-” she broke off as Frida handed the pair their shoes, “Oh, thanks.”

Frida held one of the brushes from the basket next to the stack of itchy towels and slowly combed through her long, black hair, “You don’t have to talk about it if it makes you feel uncomfortable.”

Rose shook her head, slipping her converse over a pair of ruffled ankle socks, “It’s okay… I just miss it.”

Brushing through her own hair, Eun Sung crossed over to the mirrors near the door, “Sometimes I wish I still believed in second chances…” she mumbled quietly.

Running a brush through her mop of wet hair, Rose straightened up, hands curling into tiny fists to keep her nervousness from surfacing. She watched in silence as Eun Sung curled her hair with one of the curling irons by the mirror and Frida quickly flicked on eyeliner and mascara beside her. She fiddled with her earrings on each ear, twisting the the fake diamond as her mind whirred in set agitation.

“Do you want me to curl your hair? Put any makeup on?” Eun Sung looked back, setting the curling iron down.

She opened , then closed it as a frown formed across her lips. She never really had the opportunity for such things nor any interest to begin with. “Um…” she bit her lip in contemplation.

“Come here,” Frida pulled her by the hand and sat her in front of the mirror, “You don’t really need anything, but you’ll stick out if you don’t wear anything,” she drew out a small tube of pink liquid and spread a few drops across Rose’s lips, “Close your eyes,” she ordered.

Shutting her eyelids hastily, she shifted uncomfortably as the light sweeping of the eyeliner brush ran across her eyelids.

“Open,” Frida set the eyeliner down.

Her eyelids fluttered open as the thick mascara brush met her eyelids, caking thick, black paint over her eyelashes.

“Done,” Frida set the makeup on down before turning away towards the mirror, “See? You’ll fit in-”

“You’re so pretty!” Eun Sung squealed, poking Rose’s cheeks.

Her face felt ten times heavier, yet when she glanced at herself in the mirror she didn’t appear to be all that different. Frowning, she stared at herself, she hesitantly brought a finger to her lips.

“I only enhanced your features, nothing wild,” Frida explained while pulling the door open, “Let’s get going though. Class is going to start soon.”

Swallowing hard, Rose gave a curt nod before exiting the locker room along with her roommates. The instant bustle of people navigating the blindingly white hallways enveloped the three as they attempted to push forward through the thick of the crowd. Distant ripples of laughter layered the echoing of chatter down the blank walls, and tight pockets of friends clung to one another as if their lives depended on it.

“I think…” Frida bit her lip in thought, “I’m pretty sure it’s third period…”

“Awe…” Eun Sung grumbled, disappointment written across her face, “We missed first and second? Those were my favorite…”

“What’s first and second?” Rose stared at her curiously.

“Math and Physics,” she brushed a lock of blonde hair off her forehead.

Rose frowned slightly, “And what’s next?”

“Chemistry,” Frida replied, voice empty of any emotion.

She cringed slightly. Back in America, she had schooling, but not much on the science part. She knew the basics, but science had never been much of a priority. The only life she had ever known was one that revolved around music. Nothing else.

“I’m guessing you don’t like it much either?” Eun Sung shot her a half smile.

She laughed nervously, “I’m not much of a science person…”

Frida turned abruptly to the left, yanking a heavy, metal door ajar, “Just keep your head low, then no one will notice you.”

Chewing her bottom lip nervously, she gave a curt nod and turned to slip through the door.

“Hold on!” Eun Sung brushed Rose’s hair out of her eyes and flattened the wrinkles in her shirt, “Perfect!”

She parted her newly colored lips as a sharp intake of breath filled her pounding chest. Keeping her head low, she slipped inside after Frida and quickly stole a glance at Eun Sung humming cheerily behind her. ‘Well here goes nothing…’ she shuffled forward hastily, staring around the classroom in awe.

“This is your seat!” Eun Sung plopped into the seat next to Frida and patted the empty desk on the opposite side of her.

Blinking suddenly as reality wormed its way back into her empty mind, Rose smiled gratefully, “Thanks…” lowering herself into the plastic, blue chair, she couldn’t help but scan the room once more, “So… empty…”

“Hmm?” Eun Sung twirled a lock of blonde hair about her finger.

“The room,” Rose frowned slightly at the blank walls, blank door, blank closet, blank whiteboard, blank desks. Everything was pristine and perfect. Too perfect. “I’ve never thought a classroom could be this… empty.”

Eun Sung tilted her head slightly, “I suppose.”

Sighing, Rose sunk lower in her seat, “Back in America, all the classrooms were decorated with silly posters and artwork,” she turned to look at the blonde excitedly, “The whiteboard was never clean. There was always some drawing done by a student or notes leftover from the day before,” she stared at the teacher’s desk bitterly, “My teacher would almost always have some type of plant sitting on her desk. Normally bamboo, but occasionally flowers,” biting her lip, her blue eyes flickered briefly with the thought of past memories, “One time she brought a bouquet of daisies in. She froze them in this liquid and then shattered them! It was so cool! She did that with a banana too-” freezing suddenly, Rose shook her head, laughing nervously, “Sorry. I don’t mean to bore you with all that…”

Eun Sung scrunched her nose playfully, “Oh how dreadfully boring,” she drawled sarcastically, “So. Any cute guys there-”

The door swung open as three boys entered.

“‘Sup, Frida,” the shortest with turquoise hair yawned, stretching out his arms as he passed by their row of desks.

“Shut up, Suga,” Frida smirked.

Eun Sung giggled quietly at Rose’s confused expression plastered across her pale face, “That’s Yoongi, Frida’s-”

“Oh!” the tall, gangly boy next to the supposed Yoongi leaned forward towards the blonde, “You’re the one that was sick this morning!”

Eun Sung stared nonchalantly at him, “Pleasure to meet you too.”

“Are you okay?” he asked hastily, face distorted in concern.

“Just peachy,” she winked at Rose.

“Tae, stop flirting and get your in your seat,” Yoongi drawled across the room.

The tall gangly boy’s lip curled in annoyance, “Whatever…”

“Tae,” the third boy, slightly shorter than Tae that donned soft black hair whispered in his friend’s ear, “Come on.”

Sighing, Tae followed his black haired friend over to the turquoise haired boy sitting on the opposite side of the classroom.

“Who are they?” Rose stared at them curiously.

“I don’t know…” Eun Sung resumed her humming, “Must be new.”

Nodding slightly, she stared at her warped reflection in the polished metal of her desk. The hair on her arms stood on end as the breeze from the air conditioning swept its cold fingers over her. Shivering, she stiffened and wrapped her blazer around her more tightly. Pressing her eyelids shut, a sigh escaped her lips. Sure it was cold back in America. It rained almost everyday. Yet air conditioning was almost nonexistent. Fire places were always burning and electric heaters hummed to life every evening before people went to bed. Outside was cold, inside was not. Just how it should be.

“Are you cold?” Frida yawned suddenly.

Her eyes shot open, “Um… yeah,” she smiled weakly, “I’ll get used to it though…”

“Really? It’s not that cold…” Eun Sung trailed off, staring at the whiteboard thoughtfully.

parted in reply, but before any words could escape her lips, the door swung open and four more boys strolled inside. Just as barnacles clung to hide of a whale, a tight group of girls hurried after the boys, giggling and whispering as they did so. She pursed her lips, staring at the scene curiously. A smile threatened to make a reappearance across her lips as amusement flickered behind her eyes.

Frida clicked her tongue in annoyance, “Idiots…” she muttered.

Eun Sung brightened immediately at the sight of presumably the eldest of the four, “Jin!” she waved cheerily.

“Eun Sung!” a smile split across his face as he reached her, “How are you? I heard-”

Eun Sung shook her head, laughing, “I’m fine! We got the stupid punishment, but other than that-”

“What?” Jin held her hands, concern crossing his soft features, “Why would they do that? You’re sick! You-”

Eun Sung grinned at him, “I’m fine now! I promise!”

He bit his lip, his brown eyes searching her own, “I don’t know…”

“Jin, hurry up,” the boy with light brown hair tapped his friend’s shoulder, chuckling.

Sighing, Jin nodded, “We’ll talk more later,” he winked before turning to leave.

Rose turned to the blonde, “Is he your-”

“You!” a familiar voice cut her off.

She froze, snapping her head towards the speaker. parted in surprise as the orange haired boy from yesterday stood before her with his classic smile. “H-hi?”

“Rose, right?” he swept a lock of hair off his forehead.

“Yeah,” she nodded, glancing at the girls glaring at her behind his back.

“Oh!” he laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck, “I never told you my name! I’m-”

“Chim Chim,” the fourth boy smirked, tugging him away, “Quit flirting,” pausing, the boy waved at her hastily before brushing his black hair out of his eyes, “I’m Hoseok, but call me JHope,” he leaned forward to whisper in her ear, “Steer clear of Chim Chim. He’s an idiot-hey!”

“Jerk,” the orange haired boy scowled at him before sending one last look at her, “I’m Jimin, by the way.”

She nodded slightly as the pair hurried over to the five other boys sitting at the back of the class.

Eun Sung raised an eyebrow, “You know Jiminie already?”

Chewing her bottom lip nervously, she let out a shaky laugh, “I ran into him in the hallways last night…” the corners of her lips curved upwards to form a tiny smile, “I didn’t think he’d remember me though…”

She leaned forward slightly, “Follow JHope’s advice,” she nodded towards the group of girls that had now seated themselves just in front of the seven boys, “Jimin’s nice, but they aren’t.”

parted slightly, “Are they-?”

“Crushing? Obsessed? His fan club?” she smirked, “Yep. Just don’t get too caught up with him in public or they’ll have your throat,” shrinking a little in her seat, she cast a sad smile, “And trust me, you don’t want to stick out here.”

 
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InfiredKookie
#1
Chapter 21: I used to keep up with this fic long ago and I've only recently now found you were able to continue it so I was very happy ^^ I always remembered it and was sad that it hadn't continued so thanks for coming back. I'll be reading the sequel and good luck on publication, you better be telling us what its called if you do publish, I may support you :D
DRiluvgd
#2
Chapter 21: Great job authornim!!
It was really unique and new...
I loved the way u connected nature Wid feelings..and positivity..like stars.. Rain... Snow etc
I'll b waiting for the sequel!!
Hwaiting!!
samasbananas
#3
Chapter 17: I really hope that she chooses Jungkook; he's always there to support her and doesn't push her away like a little emo boy
Mamm012 #4
Chapter 14: I've never read a story like this on AFF, so I was super excited to find that you are actually a great writer grammatically and with the plot. I hope Rose chooses Jungkook and PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!
YungMoon
#5
Chapter 8: UGH this story is so good! I will cry real tears if you ever stop writing this fic. \[°-°]/
shshshsharina #6
Chapter 6: Your story has so much potential! Great plot line, interesting and dynamic characters, acceptable suspense with skillful pacing... So good!

But the thing that really slows me down is the alternate names. Really great story, but I wish you would take the time to change all those Jem/Minki/Minna issues. Especially considering your spelling and grammar are exceptional!
jamjam728 #7
Chapter 4: Ahh, I really like your story so far and it has a very interesting and unique storyline!

Oh, but just wanted to know..
What happened to chapter 2? And how come Jungkook is called Jem/Yoongi called Minki?
If they are supposed to be nicknames, I feel that they are a bit odd at this stage of the story. Jungkook's nickname came out of nowhere and I feel that giving Yoongi a nickname was too early, seeing as Jungkook and Taehyung just met him.

Ahh, I hope this didn't come across as a negative comment.. I just wanted to let you know how I felt about these details..
Anyways, I'll be looking forward to your next updates!
Izzalee #8
Chapter 6: Okay, I'm so damn curious now about where is everybody going! And who will be paired with who! Seeing an update to your story always makes my day brighter, like I said before, I love your story and you are very talented! Fighting! <3 \(^.^)/
Izzalee #9
Chapter 5: Yey! I'm so happy you updated so fast, I'm getting more and more into this story, the subject is really fascinating and I love your writing style! I'm really curious what'll happen next. Keep it up! Fighting! <3
Izzalee #10
Your writing style is really neat and clear, which I find really pleasant. I like the way you describe the things that are happening, and how the story goes so smoothly. I hope I'll see more updates from now one, the idea is really captivating and I can't wait to see what'll happen next. Keep it up! Your story is great! <3