It was the day before the inspection, and the whole camp was in a whirl. While the officials “prepared” the opening, the campers were left to clean, organize, and decorate the entire building. It was so ridiculous, that the once bare walls were covered in paper ribbons and pictures of events that never happened and awards that had never been given. What once was white was now masked in color.

Yoongi yawned, slapping down his filthy rag used to scrub the hallway floors, “This is what I hate about Inspection Day. I can’t sleep through it.”

Grumbling, Tae sat, slumped against the wall, “I don’t even understand what the point of cleaning this hall is. It’s always clean, and it always will be. Besides, it’s not like anyone is going to be down this way to begin with.”

“They don’t want us to ‘ruin anything,’” Namjoon sighed, dunking his rag into the bucket of soapy water.

“Pfft,” JHope snickered, “Like we’d be that immature.”

“I mean we only dropped a few dozen paint-bombs… yesterday,” Tae nodded earnestly.

“Wow,” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “I’m astounded by your maturity.”

“Seriously,” Jin looked up from scrubbing the tiled floors in annoyance, “We have to get this done. We’ve already been here for an hour.”

“It’s not my fault someone keeps messing up my space,” Yoongi yawned.

“Hey!” Tae retorted whapping him across the back of his head.

“I only speak the truth, man,” laughing, Yoongi shrugged.

“Ugh…” Namjoon sat back, rolling his shoulders irritably, “This would go so much faster if the girls were here.”

“What, so they could do the work for you?” Jin scoffed.

“No!” he retorted, turning back to his soapy rag reluctantly, “They just get things done faster, you know? I bet they would have already been done with this entire hallway in less than a half an hour.”

“True,” JHope nodded thoughtfully, “Where are they, by the way?”

“Eunnie said something about cleaning the windows,” sighing, Jin scrubbed away at the mud stain clinging to the white tiled floor.

Namjoon scoffed, “And they give us this job? I doubt they could even reach-”

“Hey,” Jin glared, “They aren’t that short.”

“Says the guy who-”

“Just shut up already,” Yoongi yawned, “You’re being too noisy.”

“Aish… this kid,” Namjoon snorted before turning back to his work.

The seven worked in silence, inching ever so slowly to the other end of the hall it strained determination. There was little to no sound, only the squeaking of sneakers against the newly cleaned floor and the faint buzzing of white light overhead. By the time they had reached little over halfway, their arms were limp and sore from constant use, and the rag that had once been sturdy enough to hold the weight of all seven of them lay in tatters on the floor.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Namjoon looked up in frustration, “I swear… If they make us clean another hall I’ll-”

“They’ll probably put us on garbage duty,” Jin muttered under his breath.

“Just where you belong,” Hoseok shot a grin towards Tae.

“Hey!” in response, Tae slapped his filthy rag across the back of his laughing friend.

“Aish,” Jin rolled his eyes, “Just focus!”

“Alright, alright…”

Jungkook sat in the very front, quietly scrubbing away at his own stains while watching the group from afar. It was almost funny… how life seemed to go on as if nothing happened, yet he couldn’t help but think of that day… that night… Shame and guilt boiled at the pit of his stomach, and just seeing her smile, hearing her laugh… it was too much. He was the one that ruined it all. How could he have done that?! He should have fought back, he should have… she didn’t deserve that, and he couldn’t forgive himself. Not even for a sliver of a moment. Sighing, he scrubbed aimlessly at the invisible stain on the white tiles. He used to tell himself over and over that they wouldn’t break him, they couldn’t break him… and yet, here he was. Picking up the pieces from yesterday.

“Hey,” Tae spoke suddenly, nudging his shoulder, “You okay?”

“Huh?” Jungkook shook his head, blinking suddenly, “Oh… yeah.”

Jimin frowned slightly, but remained silent as the bickering of Jiyeong and Dokmon overtook their concern.

“-you can’t just half-heartedly clean the floor,” Namjoon slapped his wet rag down in annoyance, “You need to put your heart and soul into it!”

“Alright, alright!” Hoseok waved him off, “I’m scrubbing the best I can, geez…”

“It’s not good enough,” Namjoon pursed his lips, “Like this,” he demonstrated a slow scrubbing motion with his filthy rag, “You have to feel it in your gut.”

“Aish…” Hoseok scoffed, “Since when did you care so much about cleaning?!”

“Hey-”

“Oh my god,” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Shut up!”

“He started it-”

“You’re still doing it wrong-”

“Guys-”

“What the f-”

“Hey!” Jin stood up suddenly, “Shut up, will you?”

Tae shot to his feet in protest, “Don’t tell me what to do! Are you my mom-?!”

“Hey!” he slapped him across the back of his head, “We’re done, idiot.”

“Oh,” Tae sat back down slowly.

“Thank god,” tossing his rag back into the now almost empty bucket, Yoongi yawned and stretched out his arms, “Do you think they’d notice if I just crashed in the Music Room?”

Jin shrugged, “Probably not.”

“Honestly,” wiping off his pants nonchalantly, Namjoon rose to his feet, “As long as we don’t mess anything up like last time, they should be happy.”

Hoseok burst out into a fit of laughter, “Oh man! That was gold!”

“Don’t-”

The distinct rumble of someone clearing their voice caught the boys off guard, and all head turned to face the official leering down at them.

“Boys,” the thin woman straightened her jacket, “Not slacking off, are we?”

“N-no, ma’am,” JHope shook his head hastily.

“We just finished,” Jin nodded earnestly.

“Good,” the woman flashed a thin smile, “Now there’s three other halls on this floor that need to be scrubbed and polished, you hear me? If I find on speck of dirt, it’s not going to be floor that’ll be whipped, it’ll be you.”

The seven boys swallowed as she marched off down the hall before turning back to groan.

“Another hall?!” Tae whined.

“We just finished this one!” JHope hit his head against the wall repeatedly.

“Who does she think she is?!” Yoongi scoffed, “That b-”

“Well,” Jin kicked the empty bucket towards the group, “Guess that means we need a refill.”

***

Once the bucket was filled once more, the group decided splitting up into teams of three was the best way to get the job done. Hence, Tae went with JHope, Namjoon went with Jin and Yoongi, and Jungkook went with Jimin. Not awkward at all.

“Um…” Jimin pursed his lips together in thought, “I, uh… I’ll start at one end and you do the other?”

Nodding silently, Jungkook moved to the west side while Jimin moved to the east. The two boys worked in held silence, waiting for the other to strike up a conversation. As close as they were before, there seemed to be rift driven between them… ever since Jimin returned… ever since that night. Jungkook shook his head, scrubbing away at the nonexistent stains and blemishes. His brain buzzed with a million thoughts, and although he tried his best to ignore them, he couldn’t move past the weight of guilt pressing down on his shoulders. How he wished he could take back what happened that night… He wasn’t blind… He saw the way Jimin looked at her, and as much as he felt the same, he had no right to break that trust with him. Swallowing hard, he hardened his gaze and continued to clean. He shouldn’t be thinking about that right now…

Jimin cleared his throat unexpectedly, “Uh..?”

Jungkook looked up, as Jimin loomed over him nodding to the bucket of soapy water. “Oh,” he moved out of the way hastily.

“Thanks…” after dunking his rag in the murky water, Minna returned back to his end of the hall.

As the minutes waned, Jungkook and Jimin could hear the distant calls of bickering and laughter from the other halls, and just the idea of someone else talking made their silence even more… awkward.

Jimin cleared his throat again.

“Do you need the bucket-” Jungkook looked up quickly only to see Jimin shake his head.

“No- um…” he sat back, cloth resting in his hand as he lay back against the wall, “You don’t have to… You don’t…” struggling to find the right words, he shook his head again, “It wasn’t your fault, so don’t-”

“What?”

“That night,” Jimin blurted, blushing slightly, “You- what happened, happened. Don’t feel bad about it.”

Jungkook paused is scrubbing, sitting back, “I- I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I see how you look at her, Jimin,” he said quietly.

“And that’s any different than how you do?” Jimin laughed breathlessly, “Look, it couldn’t be helped.”

“But-”

“Stop,” Jimin forced a smile, “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t ask for this. None of us did.”

Jungkook shook his head, “No… but that doesn’t make it right. I- I’m sorry for… for… I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t,” Jimin scoffed, “You really don’t know, do you? She likes you. She likes you, Jungkook. Don’t apologize for your feelings, and don’t apologize for hers.”

His brow furrowed slightly, “What do you mean? She can’t like me-”

“I’ve seen-”

“Jimin, she likes you,” he shook his head.

Jimin’s mouth parted slightly, before his eyes narrowed in suspicion, “How do you know?”

“I-” Jungkook swallowed nervously, “She told me…”

“W-what?” his voice became quiet and hoarse, as if a switch had been flipped in the back of his brain.

“Not directly,” Jungkook pressed on, “But you know how she is… when we were talking on the roof, she told me.”

“So- so that dream she-” Jimin sat back in wonder.

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” Jimin shook his head, “I- I know how hard it is…”

Jungkook nodded mutely, continuing his work.

“Um…” Jimin bit his lip anxiously, “This place… don’t hold any regrets, okay? This place will take them and tear you apart with them. Here… there’s no such thing as morals. You can’t control what they do to you… so don’t blame yourself when it wasn’t your fault to begin with.”

Jungkook looked up slightly, “You aren’t mad at me?”

“Honestly,” he sighed, “At first, yeah. But it’s not like I haven’t done the same thing. It wasn’t your fault.”

Jungkook frowned slightly, “What do you mean?”

Taking a deep breath, Jimin let out a suffocated laugh, “You know Eunnie? She was my first.”

***

The air had become rigid and cold over the past couple nights, and it was nearly impossible to sit upon the roof without several layers of clothing and blankets. A thin layer of snow and frost masked the grey cement while the moon overhead reflected its light across the delicate crystals. Almost no one went outside anymore, not in this weather, yet there they sat. Admiring the winter landscape in silence.  

“-hey! I told you not to-”

“Shut up!”

“Don’t be an idiot, idiot.”

“What did you call me?!”

“I-”

Jungkook shook his head. As much as he loved his friends, it was a little too much at this hour. He was best off by just watching the sky alone.

“Hey!” Rose’s voice sounded behind him, and he could feel the heat radiating off her body as she slid down to sit next to him.

“Oh- hey,” he sent her a half smile.

“How did the history test go for you?” bringing the roll in her hand to her lips, she stared at him curiously.

He shrugged, “Fine. It wasn’t anything new.”

Sighing, she leaned back, “The names were a little confusing- I couldn’t remember if it was the Joseon Era on problem 23, or if it was-”

He laughed, “It was the Joseon Era.”

“Oh, thank god,” she let out a breath of relief, “That’s what I put.”

“You know,” he tilted his head thoughtfully, “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Stay awake,” he shrugged, “How do you stay awake during the day and still manage to stay up all night?”

A sigh escaped , and she turned to face the sky, “I sleep during classes… and math. I already understand everything so there’s not really any need to pay attention.”

He shook his head, “I doubt that’s enough-”

“I still want to be educated,” she pressed on, “Even if… even if I never escape, I still want to know what it was like to be free…”

He nodded silently, unable to find the words to counter her sadness… and yet there were no words to be said just as the hope that had once hung onto his heart began to slowly disappear.

“Kookie?” she spoke quietly.

He turned his gaze to hers, “Yeah?”

Swallowing, she looked down, “Lying is a sin, right?”

“What?”

“Not saying the truth… that’s a sin,” she shook her head, “I- I don’t know anymore… I think I lied… but in that moment it felt right to say, but now it feels so wrong and-”

“Rose,” he turned her to face him, “What are you talking about.”

“T-that day when Jimin and I fought-” her voice trembled as tears threatened to leak from her eyes, “Maybe I am the same as everyone else, Kookie. I don’t know anymore. I just- I don’t-”

He held her in his arms as she sobbed, ignoring the shattering of his own heart. He didn’t know what it was like to love someone… and he didn’t know what it was like to be heartbroken. Yet, in this very moment, he did.