Chapter 2
The Only One You Love
Another incident that was really important in our development was the night we became an unofficial unnamed couple.
So Hyun didn’t see the point in going to the end of middle school dance, also called the Christmas ball. It was held after the first term to ensure that everyone would focus on their studies afterwards. She didn’t really want to go but after much convincing and promises of no hassles So Hyun agreed.
That night she wore a navy blue dress and I had gotten her a yellow corsage. We still stuck to our colours. We didn’t dance much at the ball and we left early to walk through the streets that held our childhood. We weren’t going anywhere else for high school but it felt like another chapter was closing.
“So Hyun, do you trust me?” I said while I held her hand and looked into her eyes.
She rolled her eyes at me, “Do you need to even ask?”
I half smiled and smirked at her and tugged her along. It had been snowing and I knew of a place where the snow would fall and cover the ground prettily. I took her there, to the small public garden that I had found once while walking home.
It was a little garden where the snow blanketed everything but you could still see the green of an evergreen tree. So Hyun looked at the place in wonder, her lips forming a perfect little o. I spun her till she faced me and put her left hand on my shoulder while my right hand held her waist. I twirled her around and we danced. It was a perfect evening and our status as friends changed to something more.
“Mr Nam I’m really sorry to inform you that the cancer that we cured you of when you were younger actually spread but there were no symptoms or signs. Therefore we were unable to test for it. It was in remission for a while sometimes it stays that way for 20 years but in your case it has returned now,” the doctor explained.
I nodded, “What does this mean?”
He looked at me gravely and said, “The cancer has spread to your lungs and that is why you sometimes have trouble breathing. It has spread throughout your lungs and there is a chance of cure however further tests will be required.”
“When will we need to do the tests?”
“Next week sometime?”
“Sure.”
4 weeks later
My mother looked at me and tears fell from her eyes as she tried to smile at me. She held my face and said, “Oh my precious little boy. You’re going through so much. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”
“She can’t know. No one can tell her okay,” I said, my throat seemed to close at the thought of So Hyun being sad. I promised to myself to never make her cry. At the time of the promise I hadn’t known how much I would break it.
In high school, we had once spoken of death and what each person had to do for the other if the other went first.
“I want yellow flowers,” So Hyun continued, “And no tears at either of our funerals. You have to bring me lots of chocolates and ice cream!”
“You have to wear a green dress So Hyun. You will have to represent the both of us if it comes to me being gone,” I said smiling wryly. I looked at her tenderly and gently grabbed a strand of hair that was flying in her face. I twirled the strand around and around before tucking it behind her ear.
I remember thinking that I wish we could stay forever like this. Together, chatting about things that seemed so far away from us. I suppose things were never meant to be easy I just never realised how hard it would become.
Her last words to me that day were, “Promise not to leave before me. Promise not to ever leave me alone. We should go together because you’ve always been there for me.”
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