Chemistry

            Eunhyuk and Donghae were super chatty during the car ride and I felt a little guilty about it, but I just couldn’t concentrate on their conversation.  My head was abuzz with thoughts.  Kyuhyun had just kissed me.  I couldn’t think of anything else. 

            I was already emotionally unstable enough, being around my favorite animals in the world and seeing them in color for the first time in my life.  But then Kyuhyun had to go and kiss me.  How could I fall so easily for someone that was so cruel to me, only a week ago?  But ever since the moment we’d touched, he’d been nothing but a complete sweetheart, as if someone had flipped a light switch.  When he wanted to impress someone, he was good at it.  He ended up picking me up and dropping me off from school most of the week.  He held doors open for me, carried stacks of books if they looked heavy, and even bought me more coffees in the mornings.  Certainly, all the good things he did were starting to outweigh the one bad thing he’d done.  I might even be able to forget about it completely and eventually laugh it off as the funny way we met at some point, if he kept acting like this. 

            Kyuhyun chatted with Eunhyuk and Donghae most of the car ride, but I noticed that he kept glancing over at me.  He was probably trying to figure out what I thought of him kissing me.  That’s exactly what I was trying to figure out too. 

            I noticed the conversation stop in the car and looked back at Donghae and Eunhyuk, about to ask them what they went to see while we went back to look at the giraffes at the end, but then I noticed that they were making out in the back seat.  I quickly faced the front again and noticed my cheeks warming.  It made me feel even more awkward around Kyuhyun suddenly.

            Kyuhyun glanced over at me and smiled.  He reached up and adjusted his rearview mirror.  Then, when he had to slow down and stop for a light, he leaned over towards me and whispered in my ear.  “I warned you about them.”

            I nodded, avoiding looking at him.  Kyuhyun reached over and turned up the radio, which at least drowned out the sound of them kissing.  Mostly.  After a few more minutes, we finally reached Donghae’s house and they both got out, telling us that they had a good time and that it was great to meet me.  Then they quickly headed into the house where, I’m quite sure, they continued where they left off in the back seat.

            “Well, that’s EunHae.”
            “They both seemed very nice,” I quickly told him. 

            “As long as you’re comfortable with people making out in front of you whenever you’re around them,” he pointed out, pulling out into the street and driving down the road.  “They’ve been together since they were children, you’d think they wouldn’t feel the need to have to kiss in public.”

            “Maybe their parents don’t let them have a lot of time alone together at the houses,” I suggested.

            Kyuhyun shook his head.  “Their parents don’t care.  They know that they’re sleeping together and they usually just spend the night at one or the other’s house at this point.”

            “It’s good that their parents are so understanding…but, you’re right, it doesn’t make sense why they feel the need to make out in front of people.”

            We seemed on the verge of talking about our own public kiss at the zoo, so I stopped talking and looked out the passenger window.  I replayed the kiss in my head.  Why couldn’t I stop thinking about it?  It wasn’t as if I was shocked that he’d kissed me.  I knew he was going to and I had plenty of time to back away if I wanted to.  I’m still a little surprised that I didn’t, if I’m surprised by anything. 

            “Do you want to go somewhere to eat before we head to your house?” Kyuhyun asked.

            I shook my head.  “No, I was planning to cook us dinner.  My brother and Gunhee will be there as well and if I don’t cook something for them, they’ll complain.  They consider it my job,” I informed him.  “And I should probably warn you that the guest room is supposedly being painted by them today, so they claim that you’ll have to sleep in my room with me.”

            Kyuhyun looked over at me and ignored the road for so long, I was worried we were going to get into an accident and worriedly pointed out the windshield.  “Watch the road!”

            Kyuhyun turned his head back to watch the road and gripped the steering wheel hard with both hands.  “We’re sleeping together after all?”

            I smacked him in the arm.  “Don’t say it like that!”

            “But we’re both sleeping in your room!” he clarified.  “And you’re okay with that?”

            I shrugged my shoulders.  “As long as you don’t try anything.”

            “What counts as trying something?  I mean…I just kissed you twenty minutes ago…is it all right if I kiss you again?  You’ve barely spoken since we got into the car.  I can’t tell if you’re mad about it or not.”

            “Mad?” I questioned.  Wasn’t it obvious when I was mad by now?  “Kyuhyun, turn right here.”

            “That isn’t the way to your house.”

            “Just do what I say, please.”

            Kyuhyun turned down the road, which lead off the main road to a park area.  When we were away from heavy traffic, I motioned for him to head close to the park.

            “Pull over there.  We need to talk.”

            Kyuhyun gave me a worried look, but pulled over and turned the car off.  As I was about to open my mouth, Kyuhyun quickly cut in.  “I’m sorry if I kissed you before you were ready.  I just,” he banged his head against the top of the steering wheel, clearly frustrated, “I’ve been wanting to kiss you all week since that moment in the car…when you acted like you wanted me to kiss you.”

            “I wasn’t acting,” I confessed. 

            Kyuhyun turned his head to look at me. 

            “I probably would have let you kiss me then if Changmin hadn’t interrupted us.”

            Kyuhyun sat back up, staring at me.  “You’re not upset that I kissed you?”

            I unbuckled my seatbelt.  “I don’t think talking is getting us anywhere,” I grumbled, kneeling on the seat and leaning over the center consul.  Then I grabbed his collar and kissed him.  At first, he seemed too shocked to comprehend what was happening, but he quickly got over it and reached up to cup my cheeks, kissing me back.  It was uncomfortable and awkward and I absolutely loved it.  I was afraid I would lose my balance and fall onto the floor as I leaned over the consul, but I couldn’t care less as we continued to peck each other’s lips, over and over. 

            After a minute of this, Kyuhyun pulled his lips away.  “Hold on a sec,” he said, reaching down to unbuckle and then push his seat back as far as it could go.  Then he grasped me under the arms and pulled me unto his lap.  I was sitting across his lap sideways and we were terribly squished in the seat together, but we were suddenly much closer.  Kyuhyun reached up to brush the hair out of my eyes. 

            For a moment, we just looked into each other’s eyes.  His nearly black eyes seemed to look through me, to the inside of me…into my soul.  Oddly, I wasn’t afraid of the penetration as I thought I would be.  I wasn’t afraid of what he might see.  And I think I know what he saw in there, even if I’m not ready to put a name to it yet myself. 

            A week ago, I never would have pictured myself in this position…and now I wasn’t even questioning it.  What the hell was he doing to me? 

            Kyuhyun finally closed his eyes and leaned closer, grasping the back of my head with his hand.  Our lips connected again and, this time, any pretense of hesitation was gone.  His tongue swiped the seam of my lips and I opened my mouth, angling my head to the side to allow him to kiss me as deep and thoroughly as he wanted.  I was finished pretending that I wasn’t intrigued by him.  I was curious as hell and the more I got to know him, the more interested in him I became.

            I pressed my hands against him and slowly rubbed them over his chest and shoulders, finally encircling his neck and pulling myself closer to him.  Meanwhile, Kyuhyun’s hands were all over me, as if he couldn’t decide where he wanted to touch me first.  One hand was in my hair, my soft locks, while the other travelled up and down my back.  Then he moved to rubbing his hand over my leg. 

            I’m not sure how long we were kissing.  Several minutes, at least.  When I finally couldn’t breathe anymore, I pulled away and nuzzled his neck, laughing at my own lack of self-control.  Here we were, doing exactly what we’d criticized Eunhyuk and Donghae for doing just minutes before.  “We shouldn’t be doing this in a car in broad daylight.”

            Kyuhyun took several deep breaths, holding me tight against him, before he responded to me.  “Probably not…but I don’t really want to stop.”

            I sat back up and pecked his lips.  Then I got back into my own seat, which took a moment.  All the while, Kyuhyun just sat in his seat, unmoving, watching me.  I settled in, buckled back up, and then pulled down the visor so I could fix my hair in the mirror.  Kyuhyun continued to sit there, breathing hard. 

            Finally, I just smiled at him.  “Let’s head to my house.”

            “You sure that’s a good idea?”

            I winked at him.  “Come on, buckle up.”

            Kyuhyun finally righted the seat and buckled back up.  Then he started up the car and rolled down the window, waving at himself.  “I know that you’ve been a little hesitant about this…maybe not just because of how I treated you when we first met but also because it seems strange to just meet someone and think of them at your soulmate without knowing anything about them.  But that was hot!”  I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.  “I think there’s no denying that we have chemistry together.”

            “Couples need more than attraction to stay together,” I reminded him.

            “I know,” he said, nodding and reaching over to grasp my hand, “but considering how little we know one another…what we do know of one another still makes this seems possible to me.”

            “What are you getting at?” I finally just asked.  He seemed to be trying to get to a point…I hoped.

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