December : Remembering You
September Until December
- Jonghyun's POV -
I put my scarf around my neck and wear my hat. I look around to see my co-workers are greeting each other, sending Christmas greetings, hugging each other, and discussing about having a holiday trip together.
"Hyung! Care to join us for karaoke tonight?" Taemin asks me with excitement. "Let's have fun tonight!"
"Pass," I refuse politely and wear my coat. "Have fun, guys."
"Oh, come on!" Minho chirps in with disappointed look. "It's Christmas Eve! You have been working really hard this year! One night won't be a problem!"
"Sorry," I laugh softly and pat his shoulder. "I have a promise with someone special tonight."
"Aw, is it a date?" Taemin whistles, ready to tease me. "Is it that cute girl who works at the cafe near your apartment, Hyung?"
"Well, come to think of it...," Minho frowns, trying to remember something, "...it's been a while since the last time I saw her. What? A month? Where is your girlfriend?"
I only answer his questions with a simple answer before leaving the office, "Yes, I have a date with her."
- Yoseob's POV -
"Ah, you're closing sooner today?" a guest asks me when I'm cleaning a table. "Are you going to have a Christmas Eve date as well?"
I smile politely and nod to him, "Yes. I have a date with someone special for me today. Thank you for coming as well today."
"Sure, sure," he looks around and looks at me again. "I haven't seen the lovely cute lady lately. I think her name is Kirin. Has she resigned?"
I stop cleaning and clear my throat, "There is one reason and another that she can't continue working here anymore."
"Oh," he looks sad but then pats my shoulder. "Send my regards to her. Happy Christmas Eve!"
"Happy Christmas Eve," I greet him and watch him walk out from my cafe. He is the last customer, meaning I can close my shop now even though it's only 3 PM now.
I check my wristwatch and I'm pretty sure that Jonghyun is already on his way back from the office.
I bring the cake box I have prepared and step out from the cafe. After making sure that I have locked the door, I walk to the bus stop to wait for the bus.
"Yoseob."
I stop my steps right when I almost reach the bus stop. My eyes widen in surprise but she gives me her usual bright smile to greet me, "Happy Christmas Eve."
I tighten my grip of the cake box and smile, "Happy Christmas Eve, Kirin."
"Is that a cake?" she asks me with cheerful smile. "Is that a Christmas cake?"
"It's a black forest cake," I lift the cake box. "Just like what you always made for Jonghyun."
She chuckles and then smiles at me, "Are you doing good, Yoseob? How's the cafe? Have you found a girlfriend to celebrate Christmas with you?"
"Yah, you sound like my mother," I with soft laughter. "I'm all good, Kirin. Don't worry. Jonghyun is doing better than me."
"Good to hear that," she nods randomly and looks at the Christmas decoration around. "It's Christmas Day tomorrow. Ah, I really want to eat Christmas cake!"
I don't reply her. I just admire her bright smile while she starts to talk about how cold it is during December but it's colder at England.
She stops talking and tilts her head, smiling weakly to me, "Why are you crying, Yoseob?"
I force a smile and wipe the tear away quickly, "This is the last time I can see you, isn't it, Kirin?"
"I'm sorry, Yoseob," Kirin takes a step closer to me. "I'm sorry that I make you sad. I'm sorry that you need to cry for me. I'm sorry for leaving you so soon."
"Don't apologize to me," I take a deep breath, knowing that tears are going to fall again. "I should be the one who apologizes for hiding the truth from you."
"You did that because you cared for me, didn't you?" Kirin mutters softly, a sign that she's not mad at me at all. "It's alright. I can't thank you enough for doing so much for me, Yoseob."
She takes a step closer to me as I close my eyes. She whispers to me, "Merry Christmas, Yoseob."
I open my eyes and find the bus I'm waiting for just arrived. I'm standing alone at the bus stop with the cake box.
"Merry Christmas, Kirin."
- Jonghyun's POV -
As I walk out from my office building, I stop for a moment, staring at the place where Kirin used to stand and wait for me.
There is no one waiting for me though now.
I let out a sad smile and walk to the bus station, remembering the first time I met her right here. I still remember her shy smile when our eyes met.
"We haven't even celebrated Christmas together," I murmur to myself when the bus stops right in front of me. "Didn't you say that you're going to make a Christmas cake for me?"
That day, after Kirin sang a song in front of me and Yoseob at the cafe, she collapsed due to fatigue. Her nose was bleeding and she was brought to the hospital right away.
Yoseob called her mother, informing her about Kirin's condition. I still remember her cold hands when I brought her to the hospital; I was trembling. I was afraid about what would happen to her.
No matter how many times Yoseob told me that she should still have a month to live, I already had a bad feeling when she didn't wake up even after an hour passed.
The doctor told us that her condition was worsen due to the fact that she didn't want to stay at the hospital. The cold weather made her more fragile and she didn't take enough rest for a leukemia patient.
"Tell me she will be alright."
Yoseob kept begging the doctor to tell him the words but the doctor never said it. He was doubting the chance for Kirin to open her eyes again after checking her condition.
Even until this moment I'm still sure I don't love Kirin more than a little sister. She is a lovable and bright girl but even pity can't make me love her like what Yoseob wanted me too.
However I also shed my tears when the heart breaking news was announced by the doctor on the next day.
Kirin never opened her eyes again.
Yoseob didn't even have a chance to tell her that he loved her.
And I didn't manage to apologize to her.
"Kirin," I close my eyes, resting my head on the window while the bus is moving, "I'm sorry..."
I never told her the words she wanted to hear. I asked her to become my girlfriend but I never, not even once, told her that I loved her.
I only knew her for around two months but she's a really sweet and cheerful girl. I don't want to lie to her.
Not even for now.
"I just want to be someone you will miss one day."
I open my eyes as her words cross my mind. I take a glance at the empty seat next to me and smile with an image of her smiling next to me, assuring me that she has forgiven me.
"I will always miss you, Kirin."
- Yoseob's POV -
"Hey," Jonghyun greets me as he steps down from the bus. "Happy Christmas Eve, Yoseob."
"Happy Christmas Eve, Jonghyun," I nod slightly to him and hand over the cake to him. "I made it. I know it will be different with Kirin's but just take it, okay?"
"Thank you," he takes it without any complaint. "Are we going to go now?"
"It's not too far from here," I motion him to follow me. "Don't you have anything to do at Christmas Eve?"
"Meeting you," he jokes and I laugh along with him. "See? You even baked a Christmas cake for me. How sweet of you."
"Yah, stop talking like that or people will start to assume wrong things!" I groan and we laugh as we walk to our destination.
"It's good to see you laugh," he tucks his hands inside his pockets. "She left us sooner than we thought, didn't she?"
"Yeah," I reply him. "She's just way too impatient to enjoy her life. Who can blame her anyway?"
After minutes, we finally arrive at the place we have agreed to meet on the day Kirin left us forever.
We stop in front of the tomb stone with "Seo Kirin" name engraved on it. There is a flower bouquet at the side; her mother must has visited her this morning.
"49 days," I squat down and stare at her name while Jonghyun stands still. "Thank you for visiting me, Kirin. It's a really wonderful Christmas present."
Jonghyun glances at me and asks me, "Did you regret it? That you love someone who left you this fast?"
"I never regretted that I fall in love with her," I stand up and cover my mouth with my scarf. "I only regret one thing. That I never told her that I love her."
"Hmph," I scoff and sigh, "I couldn't even say goodbye to her."
"But you do love her, don't you?" Jonghyun raises his eyebrow, knowing perfectly what my answer is. "You will always remember her, right?"
I smirk and smile, hoping that Kirin can hear me somehow.
I met her in September.
I realized I fell in love with her in October.
I must lost her in November.
Now?
"Forever. I will."
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