"Mister Foreman, has the jury come to a decision?” ​

"Yes, Your Honor.” ​

“What is the sentence, please?” ​

“Not guilty.” ​

Haruki buried her face in her hands and burst in tears.  

You didn’t kill me even though I know you could have. I knew you wouldn’t because I know you better than anyone else. ​

Your Chief Park and all the other officers came charging into the building, so of course I had to surrender. I caught a glimpse of you still crying tears of blood as they handcuffed me and carried me out on a stretcher.

They took me to the hospital, handcuffed me to the bed, and posted a guard at the door. They were careful to whisper around me- it seemed that no one wanted me to overhear any part of their conversations anymore, no matter how benign. It was easy for me, though; after all, I’d had plenty of practice. ​

The doctors and nurses talked about how lucky I was to have survived such a wound, but I knew it wasn’t luck. It was all thanks to you, noona.

​I also heard that your partner and that hacker you go to were a couple rooms down from me. I bet they weren’t handcuffed to the bed. I watched the door daily, trying to catch a glimpse of you as you went to see them. I never saw you, but I heard that you visited almost every day and brought them flowers. I didn’t like that. I didn’t like it at all. ​

Were you hiding from me, noona? Is that why I never saw you? I knew you wouldn’t come see me, though- you still felt guilty for hurting me. I wanted you to come see me, though. I wanted to tell you that I forgave you for everything. You didn’t mean any of it, did you?

​When the time came for my trial, I was excited. It was the first time I got to see you since that little incident. I watched you throughout the entire trial, though you kept your eyes on the judge as if your life depended on it. Your annoying friend, that Jessica, held your hand throughout the whole trial, while those lawyers you always turn to, Tiffany and Hyoyeon, mercilessly grilled me. They painted me as an obsessed stalker who had crossed the line to serial killer because I couldn’t take “no” for an answer. I could see all of our colleagues in the crowd, watching the trial. I saw pity and anger and horror, but most of all, I saw guilt. Oh, it was funny, really. Everyone blamed themselves for what happened. ​

And then your turn came up and you took the stand. You had to sit there and look everyone in the eye and explain that it was your words that made me a murderer. And when asked the important question of why you hadn’t killed me, all you could say was, “I don’t know.” I wanted to raise my hand like a good little boy and answer the question. Because I knew, even if you didn’t. ​

Of course our colleagues would never blame you for this. But everyone else will. You unleashed a monster on the city, that’s how they’ll see it.

​There was no doubt that I had committed all the murderers- there was not even a sliver of a reasonable doubt. But a plea of insanity forced the jury to vote “not guilty” and my sentence went from certain death to life in a mental institution. ​

You burst in tears upon hearing the sentence as the courtroom exploded in outrage. Tiffany and Hyoyeon hugged you, murmuring that they’d appeal it, that they’d destroy me for sure and finally get justice. It was so funny that they thought you were upset by the sentence. But I know why you were really crying, noona. ​

You were relieved. ​

It’s been six months since they locked me up in this room, where none of the other patients even dare to talk to me. They’ve heard the stories and they’re scared of what I’ll do to them. In fact, the only people I regularly see are my nurses and my shrink. My shrink is the one who urged me to keep a diary of my thoughts and feelings. He says it’s better than keeping them bottled up. He calls it part of my therapy. ​

But I know he doesn’t read them because he isn’t interested in the ramblings of a “crazy kid.” So I ignore his orders and fill these pages with letters addressed to you. It’s been six months and you haven’t come to visit me, not even once. But that’s okay, because I know you’ll come to me eventually. And when you do, I’ll give you this, so you’ll know that I’ve been thinking about you this whole time. ​

My shrink always sighs when I tell him you haven’t come to see me yet. He says I should forget about you, that it’s unhealthy and that letting you go is the best for both of us. He doesn’t know anything. I know you’ll come because I know you better than anyone. You can’t stay away from me. I just have to be patient and wait.

​Noona, you belong with me.  

The light shuffle of feet on the carpet instantly woke Jessica up. Her eyes darted to the door and relaxed upon seeing a figure in a baggy white t-shirt and pajama pants. “Haruki?” she called softly. ​

Her roommate jolted and spun around, almost guiltily as Jessica sat up and reached for the lamp by her bed. “Don’t…don’t bother. I’ll only take a few seconds,” Haruki said quickly. “I’m sorry, Jessica, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” ​

"Too late for that.” The model yawned and stretched her arms above her head. “What are you doing up?” ​

“Couldn’t sleep,” Haruki replied. She turned and headed for the windows, pulling open the curtains. She unlatched the window, opened it, and poked her head out. After glancing around, she shut it again and locked it, checking the latch to make sure it was tight before drawing the curtains shut again. She turned and smiled at her roommate. “You should go back to sleep. You have to get up early.” ​

"So do you,” Jessica retorted. ​

"I’ll just…sure, I’ll go to bed soon, I promise.” Haruki awkwardly smiled again. ​

Jessica lay back down, but she didn’t close her eyes as she heard the creak of the bedroom door. She heard her partner’s footsteps head towards the living room. The model knew she was going to check the front door and then the bathroom window, as she had done every single day since her kidnapping six months ago. She’d caught her once and even though Haruki had told her to forget about it, she still worried. ​

The model rolled over, still blinking in the darkness as she remembered running in on the scene even before Yesung had shouted “clear.” Donghae and Taemin sprawled on the ground with bullet holes in their chests. A chair with the leather straps and surgical tools scattered all around it. Her roommate, huddled on the floor, blood running in a stream down her cheek and dripping onto her shoulder. Her fingers had been locked around a gun in a death grip, unwilling to let go even after Siwon tried to coax it out of her hand. ​

Haruki’s injuries had only taken a few stitches and some tape, but Onew had recommended a therapist to talk to her about her trauma. Donghae and Jiyong had both made full recoveries and had returned to work as soon as they were cleared. ​

The city was split over what to call Haruki after Sooyoung had finally released the police statement to the press. Half the people hailed her as a hero for getting rid of a monster like Taemin; the other half blamed her for being the manipulative that had caused him to go crazy. There had been a legal investigation into her actions throughout the investigation- some stupid accusation about police misconduct- but she’d been found not guilty. ​

Chief Park had ordered her to take some time off to recover, but she was back at work now, though she was different from before. Quieter, perhaps, and a little more subdued? Jessica couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she knew she needed to ask Chief Park or Donghae and see if they’d noticed it, too. ​

Haruki came back into the room and Jessica immediately closed her eyes. She heard Haruki lock the door and rattle it gently before she headed towards the window again. Once the detective finally went back to bed, Jessica shook her head. This paranoia was abnormal; she didn’t have to be a doctor to know that. It wasn’t just a preoccupation with security- Jessica often caught Haruki glancing over her shoulders when they went shopping, or subtly trying to look through the windows of parked cars as if searching for someone or perhaps trying to hide from them. The detective still seemed to think that she was being stalked. That was impossible. ​

After all, Taemin had been gone for months.

A/N: Originally, I was planning on having Haruki kill Taemin when she shot him. The guilt she feels caused her to delude herself into thinking he’s alive and stalking her.

Instead, I decided to keep him alive for another story in which I can explore the aftermath of her traumatic experience and how it changes her view of the world.

And...done! Wow, I can't believe it's over! I want to thank all my readers, silent or not. Your support encouraged me to finish it every time I got writer's block. Your comments and such helped me a lot along the way. Thanks a bunch to you all! 

And I especially want to thank my dear friend, nalaboja. She is the one who suffered through every single first draft of each chapter, pointing out my idiotic typos and making suggestions when my ideas made no sense. I couldn't have done this without her. 

Thanks again for reading, everybody, and I hope you've all enjoyed this story!

Note: The sequel is up! You can find it here: Tit For Tat. I hope you all enjoy it!