YG Entertainment was the start of my success. Blood, sweat, and tears were sacrificed as I tried to catch up with the choreography rehearsals, vocal trainings, acting lessons, fitness and gym exercises, and Korea Dispatch. I can’t even explain the life of an idol— True, there are documentaries, TV shows, even MVs that give fans glimpses of our lives.

I’m not afraid to admit that I don’t even know if I was being true to myself, both in the public and behind closed doors.

G-Dragon is my name, my dream, and my future. I have too many fans scattered around the globe. My private life is non-existent, no matter how I try to make it so. I don’t even socialize outside my small circle of friends in the company. I collaborate with other artists, but that’s it. Professionalism is my motto—Don’t bother to make friends because I won’t.

A hand grasped by shoulder tightly. “Jiyong-ah, Sajangnim’s looking for you.”

I knew that voice. I’ve been with that voice for such a long time that I can recognize him with blindfolds on. Dong Youngbae was my best friend. Maybe the belief that best friends are opposites of each other is true because we don’t look alike, we don’t think alike, we don’t agree with decisions most of the time, and we don’t really talk much when we’re together.

I guess that’s the reason why he’s my best friend: he doesn’t need to talk. He just listens.

It’s safe to say he’s my brother from a different mother.

That’s figuratively speaking though; I don’t want to imagine the controversy that would come from that statement. Crazy fans or sasaengs would go absolutely crazy—crazier than usual—and my patience is not that thick.

I’m not a saint, sorry.

Youngbae’s chinky eyes were too small for most people. They say that his face, not his eyes, shows his emotions.

I disagree on that statement.

“Is it about our album?” I asked.

“Maybe. I don’t really know with Sajangnim. One moment he’s frowning, like I’ve done something horrific in his eyes, the next thing he’s smiling, like he just found the best torture device to make me feel pain,” Youngbae grinned cheekily.

I sighed. It won’t do well to anger someone like Yang Hyun-Suk. He’s too clever, impatient, and easy to anger, which is a very bad combination for his enemies.

“Come on, let’s see what the problem is.”

We reached YG Sajangnim’s lair, a circular room furnished to look halfway between a CEO’s expensive working place and a child’s dream playhouse. The circular room provided ambience and a great view of Mapo-gu. Leather couches was arranged in a U-formation, facing the CEO’s table. It was a typical workplace of one of the richest men in Korea, but don’t let that fool you.

Look behind and you’ll see his collection of toys placed safely behind glass-reinforced cabinets and LED lighting. Not to mention that life-size mutant doll of his, which is even bigger than twice of me, Youngbae and Seung-hyun hyung’s bodies put together.

I once told him that he should donate his toys to charity and kids’ hospitals because that is the selfless thing to do. He, in turn, told Hwangssabu, one of YG artists’ fitness trainer, to “up the ante” with BigBang’s fitness regime.

Seung-hyun hyung walked out after first fifteen minutes. Seungri made a good act of farting and exclaiming he had diarrhea. Daesung and Youngbae gave up after an hour. I think I was unconscious after thirty minutes.

With that said, I never mentioned the toys ever again.

“Ah, you made it. Come, take a seat.”

Yang Hyun-Suk is an intimidating man. Despite his simple fashion sense—an army cap, jacket, t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers—the man is a dictator. What he wants, he must get. But that’s what makes him a Sajangnim. He doesn’t shower you with compliments; he brings you down with harsh criticism. But he never gives up on you, which makes him even more valuable.

Seungri’s ever-exuberant greeting cut the silence of the room and the other occupants. “Sajangnim! You’re looking younger every time I see you! Like that movie where you age in reverse! What do you put in your face at night, huh?”

Seung-hyun hyung sighed. Daesung was trying not to laugh.

“Yah, Seungri! Sit down before I kick you!”

I tried not to let my surprise show. All active artists were present: Teddy oppa, Se7en oppa, Gummy unnie, Psy oppa, Jinusean members Jin-Woo oppa and Seung-hwan oppa, and fellow trainees Park Bom noona and Lee Chaerin-ah.

 I sat beside Teddy oppa, who greeted me with a nod.

YG Sajangnim leaned back on his seat. “Let’s get to business.”

The meeting was dull and boring. I was barely paying attention to the monotonous tone of the people talking.

“Jiyong-ah!”

I straightened up in my seat. “Ne, Sajangnim.”

From my peripheral vision, Youngbae stared at me in question. Did I say something wrong?

Sajangnim glared at me. “Pay attention, Jiyong-ah! We’re talking about the upcoming debut of our first girl group. And you’ll help Teddy in forming the group.”

Oh.

Wait. What?

“Girl Group?”

“Ne. I discussed this with Bom and Chaerin, and they agreed to be part of our four-member girl group. Now, we’re missing two more members.”

Teddy oppa nodded in agreement. “Gong Min-ji is one of the members but as of the moment, she’s packing her things to move within the girl dormitories. The other member, well, I haven’t met her yet but YG Sajangnim said her name is Park Sandara, our new trainee.”

“I do.”

Surprise showed in our expressions as we looked at Daesung. “You met her?” Gummy unnie asked.

Daesung began his tale of bumping into the girl and spilling his vitamin water all over her. It doesn’t take a genius to know that Daesung’s character is a happy-go-lucky guy who loves to laugh and bring happiness among the group. The fact that he almost groveled for forgiveness because he caused trouble on the girl trainee is not new.

What was new was his statement after his tale.

“I thought she was so much younger than me! Imagine my surprise when she told me she’s Sandara noona! Ne, Se7en oppa, she’s so beautiful that she can give Lee Hyori of Fin.K.L a run for her money!”

Se7en oppa countered. “Aniyo, Lee Hyori is a different class altogether. If what you’re saying is true, then this girl must be something.”

“Why do you think I offered her a contract when she’s already famous and successful in the Philippines?”

Silence.

Daesung frowned. “She did not tell me that.”

YG Sajangnim smiled. “I told her not to mention anything about her career, unless they knew about her beforehand. I believe she was the girl in KBS Documentary My Name Is Sandara Park. Don’t worry. You’ll see her in 10 minutes.”

It was strange 10-minute silence. We weren’t like this when they introduced Bom noona and Chaerin half a year ago. Sure, there was a nervous air among the BigBang members but it was more excitement and anticipation than nervousness. Bom noona was fidgeting in her seat, nervous to meet the last member of their girl group. Chaerin-ah tried to stop her restless hands but to no avail. Even Youngbae, Teddy oppa, and Seung-hyun hyung were restless.

The only ones who were not bothered were Daesung and YG Sajangnim.

Voices echoed through the corridor. A weird tingling ran down my spine as I saw the automatic doors sliding open.

“Ah, Dara-yah! How was your flight?”

Her face was hidden behind the straight hair as she bowed towards her Sajangnim.

“Kamsahamnida, Sajangnim.”

She straightened up and I saw her face for the first time. Daesung, although Seungri is more likely to be one, is a troll among the YG Family.

But today, he’s right about something—Park Sandara is a beauty.

Her skin was fair and flawless, glowing underneath the lighting. Almond eyes were crinkling up in delight as she smiled at YG Sajangnim. Silky-straight hair and beautiful facial structure were her promising features. The white t-shirt that she wore alongside faded denim jeans and a bare face did not lessen her beauty at all.

YG Sajangnim stood up from his seat and pulled the girl towards Bom noona and Chaerin, who were both stunned.

“Chaerin-ah, Bom, this is Park Sandara, your newest member. She’ll be training with both of you and Gong Min-ji.”

She bowed towards Bom noona and Chaerin, who both hastened to stand and bow in return. “Annyeonghaseyo, Park Sandara-imnida. I look forward to working with you. Please take care of me.”

Bom noona grinned in happiness. “Omo! Daesung dongsaeng was not kidding! You are really beautiful, Sandara-ssi.” Sandara’s face went red as she bowed in thanks.

“Ne, Sandara-ssi, we’ll be the best of friends, don’t worry, eh?” Chaerin pushed a protesting Seungri to the side as she offered the seat to the flustered girl beside her. Youngbae was staring at the girl beside him.

It was an incredible sight! Youngbae’s blushing! Since when did his face turn a blazing red?

YG Sajangnim cleared his throat. “Ne, you are still in their training stage so expect harder instructors and, well, training, before all four of you can debut as a girl group. So, protocols must be followed—“

“As of today, the dating ban is activated for the four of you. You will have to wait for five years after debuting before you can even date and that is still a big if. Are we clear?”

“Ne, Sajangnim.”

“Good. Now, Daesung, since you know Dara-yah beforehand, why don’t you tour her to the dormitories? The rest of you are dismissed.”

“Ne, Daesung hyung…”

Daesung, who was texting, looked up to meet Seungri's disgruntled face. "Wae?"

“Why didn’t you tell us about Dara noona?”

I looked up from the magazine. From the corner of my eye, Youngbae stopped drinking his water. Seung-hyun hyung raised an eyebrow at Daesung.

Daesung was unaffected. He shrugged. “It wasn’t important. As if you need to know about Dara noona.”

That’s the strange part. He’s right. Normally, such inconsequential things wouldn’t capture my attention, not unless it’s slightly concerned with BigBang, YG, and our lives, and the news of a new trainee is an inconsequential thing.

YG Trainees come and go—most of them give up and find a new company while the fewer people get debuted under YG.

So it’s nothing new if there is a new trainee.

Seungri whined. “But Dara noona’s different! If you told us you met her months ago, I would’ve listened!”

“And that’s the point. I met her months ago—it’s old news to me. And it doesn’t concern BigBang, so why are you asking?”

“Because I want to know more about her! Hyung! Come on! Introduce me to her and I promise not to tell your secrets in our next TV guesting.”

“Yah! Stop pushing me, maknae! I don’t want her to think we’re weird! And you’re too young for her! She won’t look your way!”

“But she looks younger than me! She can be my girlfriend!”

“No!”

That started the bickering between the two maknaes of the group.

I was deep in thought. Daesung was right—and that irks me because I was supposed to be the one who’s always right—yet again.

Park Sandara-ssi does not impact BigBang in any way.

She’s just a trainee of YG.

Youngbae shook his head at the two idiots, but I know him well enough that the furrowing of his eyebrows means he’s thinking about something.

Seung-hyun hyung is a very private person, but even to someone as dense as me, I can tell he’s intrigued.

Maybe it’s not even the new trainee. Maybe they’re thinking about the upcoming BigBang promotions or the mysterious disappearance of the Milk Tea vending machine in the first floor. They could also be thinking about what global warming is or why the sky is blue.

Am I on the right track?

I hope so.

Because if I’m not, and they’re thinking about her,

I wouldn’t know how to answer.

Park Sandara-ssi, why am I thinking about you?