"Eun Hui, I'm tired." He looked at me still with those beaming eyes that glisten in the cold night as we felt the winter breeze.

 

My heart clenched as I felt him brush his hand on my leg as it pried my fingers apart until they were weaved in his, "Then sleep, Taehyung-ah." I whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair and staring at his calm face — taking in his scent, memorizing each curve of him. "Sleep and don't worry about anything."

 

Yes, you don't have to worry about me anymore. Just close your eyes and dream of a tomorrow where you'll be able to erase all of your weary memories — the aches from the depths of your heart, I thought. He opened his eyes as he looked at me — drawing me in with those tantalazing orbs. Will I be able to forget the way you lovingly looked at me with those eyes, Taehyung-ah? Or will I continue hoping for more than I should ever hope? 

 

"But you'll wake me up and say you'd want to play with me instead," He said stopping a laugh. "Will you really be fine?"

 

Will I be? You tell me, Tae. A smile creeped on my face. "I won't wake you up, okay? Just sleep." I answered as I pulled his head close to my shoulder, gently placing it there. I felt his breaths as it slowly evened out. "Are you asleep?" I asked.

 

He chortled, "Not yet." I want to continue hearing your voice till the end of time, love. Isn't that possible for the both of us? His hand held mine tightly, as if he was reassuring me that everything will be fine. I let out a silent laugh. 

 

"Are you asleep?" I asked once again, this time softer. He didn't answer me so I turned to peek at his sleeping face. Yes, he is asleep — peacefully, finally. I looked up the sky, holding my sobs in — trying to be quiet as possible.

 

"That's right," I started. "Sleep and forget about everything. Forget about your mom. Forget about your dad. Forget about me and everything we've shared together. Tomorrow will be a better one, okay? And you don't have to fret about me anymore.. I'll be fine. I will be, just as I promised you."

 

I closed my eyes as I took a sharp breath, squeezing his hand tighter. And even with eyes closed, all I could see is his smiling face. And now that we are sitting here out in the cold, everything comes in a flash. Every second, minute, hour, and day I've spent with him — was more than enough that it became my treasures. "Taehyung-ah, I don't regret you. I don't care how it ended. I don't care about your worst. I remember how it began — how we began and how happy you've made me. I won't ever regret you. You do understand, right? I meant what I said and I said what I meant, love."

 

"I love you, Eun Hui."

 

What? I glanced at him with tears overflowing from my eyes, my lips quivering in shock yet it slowly turned into a straight line as I weeped into the memories of this winter's story. Thank you. Thank you for coming into my life.

 

I pursed my lips and smiled the way he always wants me to — the way he says that makes his heart pound as I held him tight next to me. "I love you more than you know, Kim Taehyung."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I lost him.