“This is Sungmin Lee and I can’t make it to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”

Kyuhyun groaned in frustration, slapping his phone on the table and earning the stares of several other couples in the tables around him. Signalling the waitress to get him another glass of wine, he loosened his tie just a bit, grumbling under his breath at the suffocating atmosphere.

Fifteen minutes later, after his third glass of wine, Kyuhyun couldn’t help feeling like a fool. Sungmin wasn’t even answering his phone and here he was, dressed up in his best suit at the most luxurious restaurant on this side of the city, seemingly ditched by his date.

The waitress came around to his table for the fourth time, sympathy in her eyes.

“Are you ready to order, sir?”

Kyuhyun checked his watch- Sungmin was already twenty-five minutes late, and if he stayed any longer he wasn’t sure he could deal with the embarrassment.

“No, thank you, I’ll just take the check,” he smiled politely up at her. She nodded and handed it to him, and Kyuhyun tried not to think about how she’d already had it ready before she even walked over to his table.

He paid for his wine and left, going out into the cool autumn night with his coat buttoned up all the way to his neck. His throat was thick with disappointment, and chills that had nothing to do with the temperature graced his skin. He walked slowly away from the restaurant, because for reasons beyond logic he still held out a shred of hope that Sungmin would come running up to him. Give him a kiss and apologize for making him wait and promise to make it up to him.

His phone lit up and vibrated, Sungmin’s smiling face appearing on the screen. Eagerly, Kyuhyun swiped his finger across the screen to answer, his grin nearly splitting his face. 

“Min? You here?”

“Kyuhyun, I’m sorry, but I’m headed back to the hospital right now.”

“Something happened?” Kyuhyun tried. He really tried to sound empathetic, but his voice dipped slightly, giving away a sliver of how upset he was.

"There's been an emergency, so I turned around, going back. I'm sorry, Kyuhyun, but they need me."

"Because you’re the best, right?" Kyuhyun tried to joke, small chuckle leaving his lips sounding absolutely fake.

The lack of an immediate reply indicated Sungmin was distracted. “See you when I get home, alright? Love you.”

Kyuhyun hung up without a reply, throat thick with emotion and feeling impossibly worse.

Since Sungmin had received the job at the hospital, Kyuhyun had expected him to be busier than ever. He knew that meant he would get to spend less time with him, but he also knew that Sungmin had a serious passion for his work. So Kyuhyun had been incredibly happy for him.

The last time Sungmin had missed the date that Kyuhyun had so carefully planned out, he had come home past two in the morning, exhausted as per usual. Kyuhyun had waited, of course. He’d patiently listened as Sungmin gave him a hurried explanation, and he had been understanding. He understood that a patient had come in, was in need of serious medical attention, and Sungmin was the only surgeon available. 

So, with even more planning, he had made another reservation for today after Sungmin assured him he would be available. Yet here Kyuhyun was, shivering as he hailed a taxi, alone and without even hearing a word from the other. He was a reasonable man; but he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

He couldn’t help but think, as he was riding home, that he was the only one making an effort. He always made their dinner plans, he was always on time, he was the only one seemed to care that their relationship was falling apart. How could he manage to keep both of them afloat when Sungmin was too busy with his job, his career, to even ask Kyuhyun how he was doing?

The last time they’d been intimate was over a two months ago, because Sungmin was always too tired for anything. Kyuhyun never pressured him, never even asked, because he was trying to be the supportive partner. Sungmin had his dream job; and when his eyes sparkled as he talked about a patient who was still alive because of the surgery he performed, Kyuhyun couldn’t be upset. That was exactly what Sungmin had studied and worked so hard for.

Kyuhyun pretended not to be hurt when he would suggestively kiss Sungmin’s neck and Sungmin would mutter “not now, I’m tired”. Tried not to think about how their relationship was black and white and lacked passion- because passion didn’t define love. He loved Sungmin and he knew Sungmin loved him.

That thought, however, gave him no comfort as he climbed into their cold and empty bed that night. More often than not, he was falling asleep by himself, no other warm and familiar body to comfort him. He tried for weeks to not think about how lonely he’d become, how neglected he felt. But in the dark solitude of their room, every negative thought returned and bombarded his mind.

Kyuhyun felt unloved; unimportant in Sungmin’s life. That’s what he’d become. Placed on the highest shelf of a child’s closet, or left in the corner of an attic to collect dust. 

Tears pricked at his eyes, blurring the darkness. He held his pillow tightly against his chest just to have the feeling of holding onto something. He curled up in the middle of the king sized bed, teeth biting down hard on the soft material to muffle his cries. Did it matter, anyway? No one was there to hear him, to comfort him.

Warm tears spilled out down his cheeks and onto the pillow, and he let himself sob as loud as he wanted to, trying to ignore the space beside him, body shaking violently as he let out all the pent up frustration and pain he’d been feeling for weeks.

"Sungmin still loves me," he whispered to himself, voice sounding weak and pitiful even to his own ears. 

No matter what he said to himself, however, he fell asleep with tear stained cheeks resting on a wet pillow, hiccuping softly.

Sungmin hadn’t been able to see Kyuhyun for the past two weeks. He always came home to a dark and silent apartment with Kyuhyun already asleep in their bed. Working at the busiest hospital in the city while it was short staffed really put a toll on him and his social life. He barely had time for his fiancé, let alone his family and friends. The bags beneath his eyes were more prominent than ever, and he often found himself struggling to stay awake.

So it was understandable that when he was let off early on the last friday of October, ready to greet Kyuhyun with some Chinese-style pork he picked out, the upsetting feeling was choking him when he was greeted with silence and darkness again. 

Setting the take-out he’d purchased onto the dining table, he shrugged his jacket off as he made his way to the bedroom, tossing it into the walk-in closet just at the entrance of the bedroom. 

Not wanting to wake his sleeping lover, he shuffled across the floor, his arms stretched out in front of him to feel for any obstacles. Stifling a sigh, he lowered himself on the bed, ready to join Kyuhyun in his slumber. However, there was something missing.

Kyuhyun, that is. Kyuhyun wasn’t in bed. The absence of his warmth slapped Sungmin out of his dreary state and he bolted back up, his hands searching his pocket for his phone. 

“It’s so late,” he mumbled as he punched in the number he had memorized by heart. “It’s not like he has anywhere to be, right?” he mused, holding the phone up to his ear. “If he did, he should’ve texted me.”

“The person you are trying to reach is not available. Please try again.”

“What?” Sungmin frowned, tapping the redial option. Another flat tone and prerecorded message. “Where is he?”

“Kyuhyun?”

“Yeah?”

“You need help with that?”

Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Yes.”

Zhou Mi simply grinned before he bent down, kneeling on one knee in front of Kyuhyun. “Thirty years old and you still don’t know how to put shoes on properly.”

“These are skates, and I’ve never even been ice skating before,” Kyuhyun huffed, crossing his arms. He was still snappy after being unable to reach Sungmin for the umpteenth time. 

“What kind of childhood have you been living?”

“If you’re only here to pick on me, just off,” Kyuhyun snapped, no real anger in his tone. 

Zhou Mi’s lips were still stretched into a smile as he helped Kyuhyun up, balancing on the blades of his skates while Kyuhyun gripped his arm tightly, wobbling towards the rink. 

Kyuhyun would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed when he spent another evening without Sungmin. It was a daily occurrence, however, Kyuhyun couldn’t help feeling emptier than ever. Right when he was about to check out for the night, Zhou Mi had called, requesting Kyuhyun’s company since he was free.

So why not? Kyuhyun hadn’t seen any of his friends recently. It might be good to socialize again. 

Kyuhyun staggered when his blades touched the ice, his long legs flying. Within seconds, he was splayed across the ice, the cold burning through his thin gloves “What the hell?” He bit back a yell of frustration. Zhou Mi secured his arms under Kyuhyun’s and lifted him back up. 

“You alright?” Zhou Mi held back a laugh. His hair had fallen down his forehead when he bent down to help Kyuhyun, and he pretended to be fixing it, hiding his smile. 

Kyuhyun was about to shove Zhou Mi down, but he didn’t move. The longer he stared at his friend, the harder it was to hold his frown. A small sigh slipped past his lips before he was doubling over in laughter, cackling loudly. 

It had definitely been awhile since Kyuhyun had laughed so wildly - so freely, because why on Earth would he be chuckling by himself, all alone? But in that moment, he wasn’t alone in his apartment, the tapping of keys on his laptop the only significant sound in the room. No, he was here with his best friend. His best friend who always tried his best to entertain Kyuhyun on his free time.

Like that, they spent the rest of the evening together, but despite the cheerful atmosphere and the laughs and giggles shared, Sungmin never left the corner of Kyuhyun’s mind. 

“Where were you?” were the first words out of Sungmin’s mouth when Kyuhyun returned, at half an hour past midnight. “I was home at six, but you were gone.” Sungmin didn’t necessarily sound angry, but de