I take off my sneakers, feeling annoyed. Even though it’s just a little over 1 PM and I didn’t really do anything strenuous today, I feel exhausted. This morning I woke up with a bad feeling, turns out it was a premonition of the bad things that seems to keep happening today.

First, I accidentally drink yesterday’s coffee (I forgot to empty the coffee pot the night before). Then I burnt my hand when I was frying bacon and eggs for my breakfast. And when I was leaving my apartment for a brunch with my high school friend Tiffany, I bumped (accidentally of course, I’m not suicidal or anything) my head pretty hard on the door. That’s what I got for trying to tie the shoelaces on my sneakers while standing (I was pretty late ok? And I hate to be late for anything). But what takes the highlight of the day was Tiffany’s dirty scheme to trick me into blind date. Yep, you read that right. The ‘brunch’ was just an excuse to get me to the restaurant for a blind date. And I really hate it when someone does things like this without my permission. My love life (or the lack of it) is my private business, and I really appreciate it if people stop poking their nose into it.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I already had a bad feeling when I saw a guy sitting together with Tiffany. Even more when I noticed that the guy wasn’t her usual type. After introducing that guy to me (his name is Eric, by the way) she immediately bailed out due to “forgetting that she had a very important facial appointment that she cannot miss for anything”. Yeah right, like people would actually believe that bull.

Eric by any means wasn’t ugly. He’s quite attractive physically.. that is if he can just shut that mouth of his for about 5 minutes. Really, only 5 minutes would already be perfect. But noooo.. he seemed to think that any minutes passed without him talking about himself (or his job, or his cars, or his hobbies, or his ‘addiction to healthy life styles’, or his.. well you got the drill) is a moment gone wasted. So the brunch was basically just a monologue on his part about anything and everything related to him, without giving me any chance to response (not that I’d do that anyway), or say anything.

Since I didn’t think I could stay any longer without surrendering to the urge to break anything or exploding in anger, I ate my food quickly so that I can end our brunch faster. When the bill came, Eric nonchalantly asked me to pay everything by myself! Look, I’m not some ist woman who believes that man should pay for everything in a date, but considering we’ve just met (and not voluntarily either, at least on my part), that’s just a big NO-NO, don’t you think? And his reasoning was because “I was the one who asked him out”. OH.MY.GOD!! He’s really going to be written in my black list, with permanent marker, in bold letters! Inwardly cursing Tiffany for this disastrous date with such a jerk like him, I begrudgingly paid for everything, just so I can finally escape from him.

As if she can read my mind, suddenly my cellphone went off. I look at the caller ID, it’s no other than my no-longer-friend Tiffany herself. Huffing in exasperation, I take the call.

“What,” I answered with as much as hate I could inject in that single word.

“Hi Felly, how’s the date?? Eric’s pretty okay right? I so knew you two would make a cute couple.. You’ve got his number right?” the seemingly oblivious Tiffany asks excitedly.

“Tiff, do me a favor and stay away from my private live from now on OK? Never again pull this kind of stint, you understand me? For the record, I hate blind dates so never pull me on one OK?”

“But whyyyyyy??” she whines in disappointment from the other end.

“But you’ll love it when you’ve got a boyfriend to take you everywhere you need to be, and also giving you all the love you need..” she tries to persuade me again.

“Look, let’s straight some things up ok? One, I can go anywhere by myself just fine, thank you. I don’t need any chauffeur or a baby sitter. I’ve been using public transportation my whole life and that’s more convenient for me. And two, I don’t need any love from any guy. I’ve been single all my life and I never feel that I’m lacking of love or anything, so stay out ok??

“But..”

“I’m tired; I’ll hang up now, bye!”

For a moment I’m relishing the peacefulness of my silent apartment. Finally..I can have a little peace after all the that happened today. Just when I’m about to lay down on my sofa, I hear the doorbell ring. Sighing tiredly, I finally get up to open the door. Turns out it’s the mailman delivering a package for me.

I took a deep breath when I received the thin brown envelope package from the courier. After signing the receipt, I got in to my apartment and sit on the couch. I stared at the envelope that suddenly feels heavy in my hand.

I already know what's inside of the package without having to open it. A wedding invitation, addressed to "Felicia & Partner". Suddenly I feel dizzy with the prospect of attending the wedding. Don't get me wrong here, the groom wasn't my ex-boyfriend or some guy I like. The soon-to-be-wedded couple are actually my best friend since childhood, Hestia and her long time (since primary school) boyfriend. I know, so sweet huh?

You might be wondering, why I don't feel like attending the wedding right? Well, just like any other singles who are in their late 20s, the most annoying thing in the world is to attend a wedding and having to be targeted to questions like: "Don't you wish to get married like them?" "You know this xxx girl has already settled down, and managed to snatch a good catch. She's had 2 children already. Don't you feel envious?" or "when are you going to settle down already? Your clock is ticking you know?".

I was like, how do you want me to answer huh? Should I answer honestly "I'd rather be single forever" or "So when are you going to die?" and made things worse. Or should I answer politely as to the society's standards "I'm still preparing myself for it" or "I'm still waiting for the right one" and attracts even more annoying questions (and so-called advice)?

Which one is the lesser evil? It feels GREAT to be single (at least regarding this matter) huh?

It's not like I don't want to get married or anything.. - ok, scratch that. I honestly do not want to get married, at least not anytime soon. I don't care what people said, not even when they tell me that “I’m not getting younger”, oh please I know that, but what does it has to do with my pursuit of happiness? Nothing, that’s what.

The main reason I don’t want to get married (at least for now, or anytime soon, really) other than because the obvious reason I don’t have a boyfriend, is that I still want more time to get to know myself. Yes people, I’m still more or less in the so-called identity-searching-stage that most adolescents have gone through.

Not that I don’t know myself or anything, it’s just that I’m still looking for my own form of happiness, sort of my life’s purpose, you know what I mean? While others find their happiness in the form of their family, kids, or even their own business (just like my best friend Brenda, who runs her own company), I’m still searching for it.

I do enjoy my current life quite well, I’ve become a freelance translator/interpreter for quite some times now, and I’ve been supporting myself quite well. My clients usually gives me job to translate documents, books, or as an interpreter in the companies during foreign client visits. And sometimes I also become a tour guide in Brenda’s tour agent, only for the Korean tourist group though. She still hasn’t found any tour guide who can speak Korean well, so I help her since I can speak it fluently.

Even though I have several steady jobs, not struggling in financial matters, I still feel that I haven’t found my true happiness. Now, now.. I don’t meant happiness in terms of finding love of my life or anything. I just want to find something that I can do it passionately, like a job that will make me feel comfortable and excited in doing it, you know? Like finding your dream job for example.

I’ve heard a quote that said find your passion, do it earnestly, and success will follow you, or something along that lines. Problem is, I’m still not sure what my passion is. I admit I enjoy my job quite well, but not to the extent that I’d be gladly and willingly work overtime without making it as a burden, just like what Walt Disney once said.

After I graduated, I worked for a few years in some companies and tried the basic 5-days working office jobs. It didn’t work. That’s why since 5 years ago I switched to freelance jobs, and it does go better than my office gigs. It also paid better too. The other perk of working as freelancer is that I have more time for myself, and rarely get stressed due to work.

Not really free from other kind of stress, apparently. Being single when you’re almost 30 is not an easy thing. My single-ness doesn’t make me stressed at all, I love it actually. It’s other people’s ‘concern’ for me that do the job oh-so-very-well in making me stressed.

Why do people love to meddle in other people’s business anyway? I bet they have messier life than mine.. So why do they insist on making time for it anyway? People are just plain weird. Another thing that I hate the most from them is that they always insist that it’s for “my own good”. Please, like you know better what makes me happy anyway, you don’t even know my type!

And this invitation in my hand is just promising me more of those annoying questions and unwanted ‘concern’ in a very near future. In this kind of situation, I always turn to my savior, my BFF for more than 10 years, Brenda. Since we met back in the university days, she always there for me through thick and thin. Although we didn’t take the same major in the university, (I took English Letters and she took Management) we quickly realized that we have a lot in common and we stick like a glue ever since.

We were lucky to graduate at the same time, and then got our first job in the same city. After graduating she got help from her parents to open a tour agency in Jakarta, while I work in a company. Fast forward to 10 years later, her tour agency is one of the biggest and most well-known agency in Jakarta. She also has a knack to get me out of some sticky situations.

That’s why I eagerly head to her apartment for some advice, which conveniently located just next door. When we first came to Jakarta, we rent a room together but now we have our own apartments. Why do I desperately need her advice? You see I’m a really bad liar. And when I said really bad, I meant really really really bad. I cannot lie to save my life. I always ended up sprouting nonsense if I was forced to lie. Once I told a guy who asked me out for a movie date that I can’t go because it’s my cat’s birthday, and I wanted to celebrate it with her. I didn’t even have a cat. But I was panicked OK? The guy was the big burly bully type that more likely to pick on nerds (like me at that time). Luckily he was too dumbfounded with my answer and I got away quite easily. Now you see where Brenda plays important role here?

After knocking twice and got no answer from Brenda, I remembered that she said yesterday she’s got to work today to manage some new project. Oh well, I’ll just wait till she gets back.. At least now I can really relax and get my daily dose of Korean dramas that was full of eye candies. Song Joongki’s face is definitely much more pleasant to think of rather than this evil invitation right?

*****

Apparently Brenda went home pretty late that day, and we only get to meet the next day, when we have a lazy Sunday morning breakfast in my apartment. She looks tired, and I can see faint black circles under her eyes. Although tired, she still looks stunning with no make ups on and her long black hair pulled in a ponytail. She has that ability to look great in any occasion. Her tall and slim model-like body always helps her to be popular. No wonder she always has guys surrounding her. She’s pretty picky though, always be extra careful in choosing boyfriend. After a bad break up with a possessive ex, she chooses to swore off dating or any serious relationship until further notice, and focuses on her job instead.

“What time did you go home last night, hon?” I ask her while I poured jasmine tea into two mugs for us.

“Hmm around 11.30 I think.. This apartment looks like a part of a horror movie set I swear! There’s only the security staff in the lobby, and I didn’t meet anyone at all till I reach my door! I really can’t help to replay a scene from the horror movie I saw yesterday, where the ghost suddenly appeared in the elevator. Oh my god, I swear I can’t stop praying till I step in the safety of my apartment..” she shudders. “No more horror movies for me..”

“Who told you to watch it anyway? You know well we life by ourselves, why scaring yourself?” I shake my head and chuckle. Although people think she’s cold and aloof due to her model-like features, Brenda’s actually quite expressive, and silly.

I poured seaweed soup in a small bowl and put it in front of her. Today is her birthday, October 2. As a part of our tradition, we celebrated our birthday by eating seaweed soup. It’s all started with her love for anything seaweed, and also the Korean tradition that I’ve learn from my foster mom – Umma, during my student exchange period in Korea. At that time I went to school for about a year in Korea during my second year of high school.

Thanks to that, I can speak Korean fluently and I can also keep my English fluent. Even though English isn’t really used in daily lives by Korean people, I was quite lucky I got foster family that speaks English well.

My foster dad, which I call Appa is a British Korean. His mom is British while his father is Korean. Growing up in bilingual family, he’s really glad when he found a daughter (me) whom he can speak English with.

My foster mom, Umma, is a cheerful housewife. She loves to cook, and she often shares her recipes with me. Since they don’t have any daughter, Umma especially was thrilled with my stay since she can finally feel how it’s like to have a daughter. She loved to take me shopping, cooking, baking, and even vacationing together just the two of us. She taught me to cook a lot of different Korean dishes, making sure I know how to cook them so that I can still have a taste of home-away-from-home when I came back to Indonesia.

Next we have Joongie oppa, my foster brother who is one year older than me. He’s pretty cool and nice. Even though at first we always fight like cats and dogs, that I pegged him as a selfish and annoying brother, after some time I could see that it was all just a big misunderstanding. He’s an only child who didn’t have a clue how to interact with a ‘sister’. After we cleared that up, we got really close, almost like a real sibling. We’re both an only child so we can understand each other well.

Last, I still have another brother figure, Matt oppa. He’s actually American but since we get to know each other in Korea, he insisted that I should call him oppa too since he’s 3 years older than me. We first met at the church, and being the only two foreigners that have just come to Korea (he attended a university in Korea) we got close real fast. At that time both of us still couldn’t speak Korean fluently, so we found great solace in speaking English with each other. We often went out together just to grab a lunch or eat together. Nothing fancy, we usually went to a small restaurant to eat, and just to complain how hard it is to master Korean, how we miss our homes, just basically two homesick people getting through new cultures and challenges together.

“Happy Birthday Bree!” I offer my present for her, a small snowflake pendant that she’s been pinning for quite some time.

“Thanks Lily!” she opens my present excitedly and her eyes grows bigger once she manages to open it.

“How do you know that I’ve wanted to buy this for a long time now?? Thanks honey!”

I only chuckle when she excitedly hugs me.

“How’s the project going Bree? All going well?”

“So far so good, we’ve only managed to finish the proposal yesterday. So we’ve got this offer from Hanyang Tour, one of Seoul’s biggest tour agents, to cooperate in boosting the Indonesian and Korean tourism. They want to get a local Indonesian tour agency as a partner in doing the project. We’ve only received the e-mail last Friday, that’s why we’ve pulled an overtime yesterday to make sure that we can meet the deadline.”

“I see..what will happen if it was accepted?”

“Then we’ll have to go there personally to sign the contract and do the survey. They want to sell personalized tours, either to Indonesia and to Korea. They will focus on selling Indonesian tour packages there, and we’ll focus on selling Korean tour packages here.”

“Sounds fun. You’ll get to have a quick getaway to Korea soon then. Can you please buy me some CDs while you were there? Pretty please??” I try to make those cute puppy eyes so that I can persuade her to do that.

“What do you mean? You can buy it yourself since you’re going with me.. You’re my interpreter slash tour guide right?” she says nonchalantly.

“Huh? Since when I was your tour guide? And why would I go there with you? It’s business trip, not a vacation..” I grow more confused when she looks surprise with my outburst.

“Well it’s given right? I can’t speak a word in Korean, and what if they don’t have an English speaking staff? Anyway it’s always easier to negotiate in their mother tongue anyway, and I bet they’ll like it more if they found out that I have a Korean speaking staff..”

Ignoring my gaping state, she continues her argument.

“As I said before, they want to sell personalized tour packages. Most of Korean tours are just around Seoul, Busan or Jeju. And they wish to make other parts of Korea known to foreigners too. That’s why after the signing of the MoU, the chosen agency will need to stay in Korea for about a week for a survey of tourists spots all over Korea. Y’know, so that they can arrange the perfect tour routes designed special for specific tourist.”

“But I’m not even your agency’s staff Bree, can you even use a freelance staff to deal with this level of project?” I ask confusedly.

“That could be arranged easily, if we won I’ll just list you as my permanent staff, how much salary do you ask?” she grins teasingly.

“How much do the CEO willing to pay me?”

“Haha..Since you’re my BFF, all I can say is the sum is quite satisfying. So you’ll take it right? Pretty please??” now it’s her turn to put on puppy eyes to make me relent.

“Bree, you do realize that we all talking hypothetically if your proposal got accepted right? You haven’t even send the proposal, and still haven’t receive the result. How can you be so sure and have asked me in advance to come with you?”

“Oh, I’ve sent the proposal yesterday and we’ll get the result next week, Friday the latest they said. We’ll just have to wait and see, but still I’m very optimistic that I’ll get it..” she winks and continues to eat.

I can only shake my head and continues my breakfast. Hmm this seaweed soup tasted exactly like Umma’s cooking. I wonder how’s she doing now?

***

“Lilyyyy! Hurry up pack your luggage! Next week we’re off to Korea!” Brenda shouts once she enters my apartment, four days after her birthday.

“Huh?” I stopped typing and turn my head to her.

“My proposal got accepted!! Yaaay!!” Brenda jumps excitedly and throws herself on my bed.

“Well, congrats then,” I say and continue my interrupted work.

“So?” Brenda raises one of her perfectly plucked eyebrows.

“So what?”

“Where’s your passport? Let me take care of your visa,” she says impatiently.

“Bree, I haven’t agreed yet to come with you to Korea,” I calmly say while keeping my focus on my laptop. Even though I act calmly, in truth my heart almost bursts out of my chest. The chance to come back to Korea is one of my most awaited yet dreaded chance.

What if I met him again? What if he’s married and has a family already? Or What if he’s got a girlfriend already and forgot all about me? And most importantly Why am I still care about him after we’ve lost contact for years??

Thousands of different scenarios running in my head that makes my head spinning. I don’t know why I’m so afraid to get the answer to those questions. I didn’t realize I’ve stopped typing and only stared blankly to my laptop screen until I hear Brenda saying my name.

“Lily..” she already stands by my side and holds my arm, eyes staring at mine intently.

“Are you okay babe? I know what you’re thinking, but please believe me, none of that will happen. Korea’s not a small place, there’s only slim chance you’ll meet him again. Even if you do, so what? I’ll be there with you through it all right? He won’t have a chance to bully you or anything,” she offers a small smile.

I can only answer by smiling weakly. She’s right though, anything that will happen there won’t scare me because this time I’ve got her beside me.

“Can I think about it first Bree?” I try to buy some time. I need to think thoroughly about this, and looks like it’s about time for me to fight my own demons.

Luckily she agrees, and decides not to push me further.

Now it’s all up to me, to go or not to go?

____________________________________________________________

Author's note:

This chapter is a bit longer than the rest of the chapters, since I want to make a solid background for the story, and so that we'll get to know the heroine better. I hope you won't feel bored reading this though ^^

Anyway, thanks for reading this and I'd really appreciate your comments, upvote or feedbacks!

See you on the next chapter!