The loud sound of loud siren echoes inside the moving vehicle. Along with the danger signal was the sound of heavy breathing from the figure that lies on the stretcher bed.

He held on to thin wrist, so carefully, fragile as if it was going to break any moment. The people inside the car tells him to move away but he knows it was over when he feels the weight fell on his hands.

"D--don't leave."

He shot up straight in bed. In a cold room, sweat was covering his face and he was breathing heavily. Hands clutched tight to his chest that's beating rapidly.

Reaching out to the bottled water ready on the desk, he opens it with shaking hands and swallow the liquid quickly.

Yuta looked around to see the familiar room and the familiar figures he deals with everyday. Breathing out to blow away the fear that was in him just now.

"You had a nightmare again?" Doyoung asked, sitting on the other bed to face him.

Yuta nods, biting the inside of his cheeks in frustration. He already grew out of having the same bad dream, but lately it's back for the reason so clear to him.

"I'd tell Ten you run out of sleeping pills. He can come with you to the doctors, Wendy too." Doyoung discuss, his eyes glistened with worry.

"I'll be fine. I'm going alone tomorrow."

Doyoung gave him a sad smile.

The three of them arrived together at school. It wasn't too far from their dorm but they still take the bus. It's fifteen minutes before classes starts, and they used their time drinking coffee at the vending machine right outside the school's main hall.

"Why do I keep getting this coffee? It tastes brutal." Doyoung quips, a sour look on his face.

"That wakes you up. Trust me." Ten tells him.

"What time did you go home last night?" Yuta asked.

Doyoung puts his hand on his pocket, a habit he does when he's flustered. "Well, I had to usher Jaehyun to the night market. I can't let him go alone."

Laughing, Ten pats Doyoung on the back. "Now you tell me, which is more complicated, having a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend?!" Yuta gasped. His face turned pale. Gulping.

Ten nods. This happens often. "Don't tell me..."

"Girlfriend!" Yuta gasped again. "My girlfriend. Wendy told me to pick her up at the bus station!"

"Hey, just messaged her you're already here!" Doyoung shouts to Yuta's running figure.

"When did he not forget her?" Ten says, shaking his head.

"No wonder why Wendy is always pissed at him."

"Yuta is so hopeless."

It was as Yuta predicted it to be. A pinch on the ear and a slap on the shoulder from her girlfriend on a daily basis in exchange for him being a scatterbrained. Johnny would say that Yuta is simply stupid, but Wendy will always engage herself on arguments with Johnny saying Yuta is just forgetful. Wendy defends him all the time, so he supposed she loves him a bit.

Yuta met Wendy on their first year in high school. First day in class, Yuta was actually rooting for her best friend, but a lot of funny incidents happened that he always end up on silly banters with Wendy. That's how she caught his attention. And Yuta just fell for her.

Wendy is funny and smart, a total opposite of Yuta who's not even average in his class. Doyoung still about it, always telling Yuta that opposites do attract. She is easy-going, and boyish, like what Yuta's friends describe her.

"The next time you forget me, its over between us." Wendy says, shoving her backpack on Yuta's chest.

Yuta laughed because he knows she didn't mean any of it.

Wendy pulled out a candy on her pocket and gave it to Yuta. "Here."

"I hate sweets." Yuta says, but takes it anyway.

"I know." Wendy snorts. "Give it to Johnny."

"I'm really starting to think you like him more than you like me." Yuta narrowed his eyes at her.

"God, no way." Wendy crossed her arm over her chest. Stopping in front of her classroom. "I was so mean to him yesterday. When he called you ugly."

"That's nothing." Yuta chuckled. "Alright, go to your class now. I'll see you later."

"Bye bye."

Yuta smiled at her, running to his classroom and waving at Wendy the last time.

To everyone's eyes, their relationship was ideal. But it's not enough that they like each other, Yuta admits they lack understanding. It's not Yuta's fault that he's forgetful but Wendy gets exasperated at times. It puts them to bad mood and will not talk but only for minutes.

Today was different though. Yuta forgot his phone in their dorm. He looked for Wendy everywhere on lunch, smiling fondly when he found her in the hallway. But Wendy was ticked off because he waited for Yuta at the station but he never showed up that she end up missing her first class.

"If I wasn't coming, you should've left already." Yuta tells her.

"I waited only because I'm used to you being late. I didn't make it to my first class, if Johnny didn't call me, I wouldn't even know you were in school already."

And that's when absurd words start coming out of Yuta's mouth.Those were frustrated word vomit and he didn't mean any of it when Yuta tells her she should've gone out with Johnny instead. It wasn't supposedly humorless, but Wendy takes them seriously. Wendy retaliates by telling him, "You probably wouldn't forget Joohyun as much as you forget me. Don't you?."

And she storms out on him, crying. But Yuta froze to his spot, and this time he didn't follow her. As if compromising.

"Yuta, why didn't you run after her?" Ten asked.

That's the same question I'm asking myself, he wants to say. Yuta wonders why he wouldn't bother much. Maybe this time is the time he lets go.

"Are you sure the reason is not--" Doyoung was cut.

"No." Yuta said, shaking his head defensively. "I'll go home first."

"Yeah, you should do that." Ten nods.

"I'll see you guys later."

Yuta wraps himself in the covers of his bed. There are so much to think about. His nightmare that he's always afraid of having before he sleeps. He wants to fix things with Wendy and apologise. But he knows he'd done enough and it's not him that she deserves. Because Wendy is delicate lady who deserves better. Another thing is.....

He listens to the sound of footsteps walking near his bed and stopped to talk.

"I heard you two fought again?"

....him.

"What are you doing here?" Yuta asked, curling his fist to his pillow. It's always this jittery feeling around him.

"I was worried about you."

Yuta tightens his lips and he remove the covers, sitting up to face him. Seeing that familiar face always puts Yuta into a haze. As if the Gods are playing games with him.

"Why do you keep pretending like you're interested in me?"

"I'm just worrie---"

"Listen, I know it's Ten that you want and not me. If you want to get on his pants that much, stop using me. You're not funny. Get out." Yuta said in stern voice, arm pointing towards the door.

Taeyong looks down on the ground, biting at his lower lip.

"I said get out!" Yuta says a little louder this time. But when soft lips landed on his, Yuta gives in to it. He pulled Taeyong down with him on bed, hungrily the other's lips.

Taeyong was taking his shirt off, when Yuta prevents him from doing it and pulled away from the kiss.

"Get out. Please." He pleads, in soft voice. He closed his eyes and listens at the footsteps leaving and the sound of the door closing.

"Why did you break up with her?" Ten asked Yuta, he looked everywhere only to find him hanging out on the field with their friends.

"You broke up with her?" Johnny asked.

"It wasn't working anymore."

"Are you sure about this? Why so suddenly?" Ten questions.

"It would be better for the both of us." Yuta glanced at Taeyong who was staring at him.

"Man, that's bull. You were going out for three years. You can't just put that into waste. You like each other." Johnny creased his brow, questioning Yuta who can't even look at any of them in the eye.

"Or maybe she doesn't. Or I don't. Maybe--Maybe I just---." Yuta gave up, sighing loud. He doesn't know how to explain this to anyone. He has yet to fully understand it either.

Ten shake his head in disappointment and walks out on him. Yuta looks at Taeyong who was watching Ten leave, and through his eyes he can see his longing desire towards the other.

Taeyong is an interesting person. Not only because he looks like someone Yuta knew from ages ago. They were a total opposite, nothing to remind Yuta of that someone, except of Taeyong's face that is the exact replica of his. And it haunts him.

Yuta thinks Taeyong was interesting because he is someone who needs attention. Someone who wants nothing else but to be loved. If Taeyong wasn't busy trying to get into Ten's pants, then he'd be bedding random girls from his class. Or making out with Yuta.

Yuta believes it's Taeyong's way to get close to Ten. Because he thought Yuta was interested in him. Little did Taeyong know the only reason Yuta looks at him is because he looks like someone Yuta cared about the most.

It's almost funny how everyone sees Taeyong as the most handsome ladies' man in school, when he's actually in love with someone of the same gender. Ten told Doyoung and Yuta about the confession he got from Taeyong, and the younger was laughing when telling them that. As if he took Taeyong's feelings as nothing but a mere joke.

Ten is straight, just like his grades being the top one in class. And after that incident, he starts avoiding Taeyong like a plague. He detests him and called him names numerous times in front of his roommates.

Yuta didn't want to meddle about this, but when lately Taeyong keeps on coming in and out of their dorm to cook and it happens always that Yuta is the only one there, he confronts Taeyong about it. Telling him he's doing nothing good at all if he's trying to impress Ten. Because Ten will never be interested.

Maybe things would've been better between them if he didn't kiss Taeyong back.

It all didn't have to be so complicated and Yuta simply ended everything with Wendy when he stopped talking to her. No more room for apologies or attempt for reconciliation.

Another thing was neglecting the fact that he had kiss Taeyong a dozen times and it's been awhile that they stopped touching each other. He never told anyone about it, not even Ten or Doyoung and he's sure Taeyong kept it to himself as well.

He'd never been this sympathetic over Taeyong, but it just happened that one time on their biology class, Yuta knows he was close to tears when their perky teacher starts teasing Ten with a girl who's also a top on their class.

Yuta knows he was jealous, very jealous. And yet Ten doesn't give a single about how Taeyong feels. Or probably even intending for him to feel resentful.

"Are you okay?" Yuta asked Taeyong. It's been awhile the last time they talked.

Taeyong looks at him with wide eyes, startled that Yuta suddenly talked to him.

"Let's get out of here." Yuta says, standing up and pulling Taeyong with him. They were seated at the very back and not everyone noticed, except for Ten who's watching them in dismay.

Yuta drags Taeyong to the vending machine. Pulling back in an instant when he realized they were holding hands all this time but when he did, he saw the dejection in the other's eyes. So Yuta held him again, but carefully this time.

"Do you like coffee?" Yuta asked.

"Is the coffee good here?"

"You'll like it."

Yuta chose the coffee for them and gave Taeyong the one that Doyoung loathes. It didn't have sugar in it. He laughed when Taeyong made a face at his first sip.

"I can't believe something more bitter than me exists." Taeyong says.

"I, too, exist."

His laugh sounds so sweet. And Yuta wants to help him, while Taeyong kills him with his ing face.

When Yuta entered their dorm, he expected Doyoung and Ten to interrogate him. They aren't just his roommates, but his friends ever since they were in gradeschool. They have each other's backs, and will be there whenever someone needs fixing if something went wrong.

Mostly it was Yuta who needs screwing in the head. Among the three of them, he makes mistakes through rush decisions the most.

Yuta thinks he got over Wendy in a month of their break up. Yet, neither Ten or Doyoung believe him. They suspect something went wrong and needs fixing.

"You did tell me you broke up with Wendy not because of----"

"Us. It was because of us. We broke up because of me, and because of her." Yuta tells Doyoung, and Ten who was listening on the side.

"Yuta..... They just look like each other." Doyoung says.

"Why are you telling me that?" Yuta turned his head to Ten.

"No one comes back from the dead. Taeyong is not him. Taeyong will never be him."

Yuta's lips tremble. His bottom lip jutting out. How can Ten be so insensitive on digging about the past?

"Leave Taeyong alone, Yuta. He isn't worthy of your attention. Or anyone's attention in general."

A single tear rolled down Yuta's eyes that he quickly wiped away. As if the wound in his heart started opening again. The traumatic memory buried at back of his head that he didn't want to remember starts rushing back. Taeyong doesn't deserve those words.

Yuta thinks Taeyong is someone in need, someone important, that he can't just avoid and fret for his dear life. But maybe this time, he could make things right.

"Taeyong needs someone. And that someone could be me."

Yuta tells them and it made the two fell in silence .

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i'm still thinking whether or not i should continue with this plot sighs