It hit him in the dead of the night. As usual, it began with the trembling - the pain would soon follow. This was bad. Jongdae wasn't around. Only Luhan and Jongin were. And it had been Jongin requesting to room with him, too. He was placing his faith in him but there was no escape.
The dull vision, the racing heart, the pain. And the need. Oh, the need.
During moments like this, he really hated himself.
Before he could force his shaking body to search for the redemptive shot, a pale face popped into his vision, dimly illuminated by the moonlight.
His heavy breathing must have woken Luhan.
"Shh."
Minseok wasn't even aware he'd made a sound.
Luhan's bright eyes looked surprisingly soft.
"Why are you hurting yourself?"
He had been sure the blonde felt nothing but contempt for him. But there he was, sitting on top of him and firmly pressing Minseok's wrists into the mattress. Not above his head, in a dominating way, but neatly at his sides. The nails he'd been digging into his upper arms were surely bloody, staining the sheets. The pain in his head was pulsing in sync with his heartbeat and Minseok began to feel floaty. Lost. Trapped.
There was no one he could entrust this pathetic side of him to. No one but Jongdae.
Still, Luhan repeated the question, and Minseok heard himself reply in a breathy whisper.
"Because I feel numb. I'm trying to regain control of myself."
Luhan nodded as if he'd understand.
"Just give me a shot. Put me to sleep." Minseok whispered, weakly struggling against a surprisingly strong hold.
"And get you hooked on analgesics next? No way. I'll watch over you all night if necessary."
Minseok groaned.
Right now he really, really hated Luhan.
Righteous, stubborn, naive Luhan who had no idea how much it hurt.
Who was brave enough to push him when he had tried to choke him just a few days prior during a seizure.
Luhan, who had the nerve to look calm and collected.
"You gotta work with me here. Don't attack me again." he whispered, pinning his hands down with more fervor, fighting the body Minseok was slowly losing control over.
And for some reason he decided then and there to give in.

Even Jongdae couldn't always be around. Jongin was looking up to him and he'd never connect that well with Chanyeol, considering the circumstances. Luhan was about his age, a solid presence and yes, it was worth a try.
A pained whimper escaped him and Luhan pressed a hand over his lips to choke it before it would wake Jongin.
Minseok was grateful for that.

Luhan didn't mention the nightly happenings the next day. Or ever, for that matter.
The only time he did, it was for Minseok's ears only, murmured into his ear when no one was paying attention.
"You didn't even try to hurt me. You're strong. I mean it."

Despite everything, Minseok smiled weakly.

This is a perfect example for a scene I could've dragged out for 2k words, but I had to get it done in 500. It's rough, but was an overall valuable lesson on brevity.
You'll defintely see this nightly scene affecting both Minseok's and Luhan's future behavior.

The title is once again another one of the tracks that inspired me - "Kal Yanımda" by maNga is Turkish for "Stay With Me", and the song is really, really powerful.

Love,
Sugar-and-Salt ♥