Hello, guys. It's been a year since I've written here and almost 2 years since I've finished this story. I am not sure if any of you are reading any of my other stories so I just wanted to post this here, too. It's been very hard for me to even gather the courage to write ;;

It's been few days (it will never be enough) ever since that horrible day and I came to tell you something.
I'm still crying and it still hurts very much. I feel like the pain is suffocating me but... the moon is providing me some kind of comfort. Every day I look at the moon when it shines brightly and I see Jjong there. See his beautiful smile and twinkling eyes and I think.. "Ah, so that's why it's shining so brightly, because you are there." .. and I always smile although I tear up.
I am still in period when I'm torn between the reality and denial. My head knows it really happened and there's no way back but my heart keeps declining. But I am a bit better. I don't cry too much (only at night) and I can look at SHINee pictures while smiling. Because they are and always will be our precious boys. ALL OF THEM!

I said, I won't be able to write about Jongkey or Jonghyun in general because it hurts and it makes me feel guilty to write about him. But yesterday... another Shawol, my Korean friend, told me that I shouldn't give up. I should keep my love for Jjong obvious. Talk about him, his music, how precious he is and all. To always keep him with me and in other people's memo