“Let's go see the stars.”

It had been another long day of practice for Seventeen. They had actually finished early for once, and everyone eagerly anticipated the warm showers and beds waiting for them back at the dorm. But Seungcheol seemed to have a different idea.

“Stars? Really?” Mingming grinned, amused at his leader's antics.

“I'd like to see the stars!” Chan exclaimed. Murmurs of agreement from the other members followed.

“You have good ideas sometimes,” Doyoon joked, playfully elbowing Seungcheol as the large group of boys made their way out of the Pledis building.

“That little park down this street is perfect,” Seungcheol said, leading everyone down the poorly-lit alley they followed back to their dorm every night.

Seungkwan grinned. Seungcheol could be such a romantic sometimes.

There was hushed chatter and laughter from the boys as they made their way to the mini park near their dorm. It seemed as though they had endless energy, hardly able to keep quiet despite the fact that it was almost midnight.

Almost as if the minute it was silent, reality would suffocate them.

Today was the day they were promised to debut as Seventeen. As disappointing as their debut date being pushed back was, it came as a shock to no one. Never-ending practice felt less like it was helping them improve and more and more that it was emphasizing how unprepared they were to be idols. To make matters worse, Pledis hadn't even added the last two members to their group yet.

Would they ever debut?

“We're here!”

Seungkwan's train of thought was broken by Seungcheol's announcement, and he watched as most of the boys rushed ahead to find a spot in the grass to lay down. Noticing Seungcheol was already making himself comfortable, he rushed over to claim the spot next to him before anyone else could.

Seungcheol smiled at Seungkwan as he sat down and Seungkwan could swear he felt his heart skip a beat. The singer smiled back as he lay down, making himself as comfortable as possible on the dirty park ground before focusing on the sight above him.

And what a sight it was.

Being as busy as they were, they didn't get chances to do things like this often. Seungkwan had almost forgotten how beautiful the stars could be, especially on summer nights like these.

The park was quiet as the boys settled down, taking in the sight, cherishing the quiet moment with one another.

Seungcheol grabbed Seungkwan's hand and looked over. “Beautiful, isn't it?”

Seungkwan looked at the boy beside him, looked at his smile hiding what he knew was a flurry of disappointment, self-doubt, anger that the elder could never admit to the younger members like himself; Seungkwan thought about how long Seungcheol had been training, how this wasn't the first time his debut had been pushed back, how he continued to stay strong for the rest of Seventeen despite how much it must hurt.

Beautiful, indeed.

Seungkwan squeezed the hand holding his before letting go to point at the sky. “On nights like these, you can see the Summer Triangle,” tracing the invisible lines slowly, “Deneb, Altair, Vega. Each is part of a different constellation.”

“You know constellations?” Hansol asked, and Seungkwan had almost forgotten the other boys were there.

“Not really. I just know these three stars.”

“Which ones are they again?” Seungcheol asked, and Seungkwan was thankful the darkness hid his blush as he grabbed the older boy's hand and showed him where the stars were.

A hush fell over them again, but it was short-lived as Samuel sat up from where he was laying on Soonyoung's chest.

“Let's play night tag!!”

Suddenly all but two of them were up and running around and Seungkwan had never loved Samuel more than he did in that moment. After making excuses of being too tired, it really was just Seungkwan and Seungcheol laying there in the field. As the group ran further and further away from them, Seungkwan's heart beat quicker and quicker. He glanced at the boy next to him. Was this his chance?

The raven-haired boy chuckled. “Amazing how they have still have all that energy, right?”

“Seungcheol.”

The elder turned to look at him, gaze meeting his and Seungkwan could feel it pierce his heart.

He took a deep breath.

May 4, 2016. Spirits were high as they returned to their dorm.

Seventeen had just earned their very first music show win since their debut as a group of 13 last year.

After sobbing his eyes out on stage and off, Seungkwan felt nothing but happiness and pride for his fellow members.

Specifically, Seungcheol.

Their hard-working, persevering leader who trained for so long, whose past seven years led up to this moment.

As he watched the boy cry after their encore stage, he couldn't help but think back to that summer night nearly three years ago, when Seventeen were originally supposed to debut. How tired Seungcheol looked, physically and emotionally; how he smiled despite it and did his best to keep the boys cheerful.

Seungkwan rubbed Seungcheol's back and shed tears alongside his leader.

Seungcheol looked up at him then. “Don't cry,” he croaked out, actions betraying his words. “That's no good.”

Seungkwan laughed as Seungcheol wiped the younger's tears, grabbing his free hand and squeezing it.

He used to dream of this day, dream of Seungcheol kissing his tears away. He wonders how different life would be if he could go back and say it. But he didn't say it, he couldn't say it.

He can never return to that summer day, three years ago, holding Seungcheol's hand under the stars.

He loved him.

“I love you.”

A secret for Seungkwan alone.

“Seungcheol.”

The elder turned to look at him, gaze meeting his and Seungkwan could feel it pierce his heart.

He took a deep breath.

“I call first dibs on the shower.”

Seungcheol chuckled and squeezed Seungkwan's hand. “Guess you'll have to fight me for it.”