There was a certain degree of discomfort between Baekhyun and Chanyeol. The latter wasn't stupid, he knew something was off. Baekhyun, who was usually bubbly and talkative and excited in Chanyeol's presence, was uncharacteristically reserved and solemn and quiet. 

It was early morning, sometime after Christmas, but it was an unusually warm winter day. The bench the two young men sat on, near the river, was damp and cold but neither noticed.

They sat close, knees touching, and Chanyeol was turned towards the other male, intent to hear what he was going to say. But so far Baekhyun hadn't peeped. The boy sat straight-backed, legs together, head down, eyes avoidant. His bangs blew across is eyes in the breeze in a flirting way and Chanyeol smiled sadly at the sight. 

There was a solid, terse silence before one of them spoke. 

"I'm here Baekhyun," said Chanyeol. "Chanyeol's here."

Baekhyun didn't move.

Chanyeol bit his lip and took in a nervous breath. "I'm sorry I was never here before. But I am now."

No response. 

Chanyeol debated reaching over to take Baekhyun's pale hand, but decided against it. He noticed the smaller's face was flushed pink, and, unsure if it was because of the cold, discomfort, or closeness, Chanyeol quickly leaned back to give him some space.

"Chanyeol...Chanyeol saw Baekhyun's hospital records, and Chanyeol knows now that it was very hard for you. The hospital had Baekhyun on a lot of drugs. Chanyeol knows now that it would've been diffi-difficult..." Chanyeol's voice suddenly got choked up. He felt that patronizing itch in his eyes, his chest feeling compressed and breath scarce. He cleared his throat and continued, "Baekhyun w-wouldn't have been able to move with all of those drugs. You must've been very tired and very quiet and very still. That's why you stopped calling, because they sedated you."

Baekhyun blinked. 

"And I know Baekhyun has a caretaker now. Uh..." Chanyeol sniffled and his voice was gravelly. He wiped his eyes. "And I know...I know...I know he t-touches you. I know he makes Baekhyun do things he doesn't want to do." Chanyeol leaned forward so he could see into Baekhyun's eyes, the glossy, downward cast, beautiful orbs that once looked at Chanyeol with awe and admiration. 

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol said, more stern. Yet his voice was betrayed by his teary eyes, the rims of which were red and the pupils dilated. "Baekhyun did he tell you not to talk to me? Please, tell me honestly."

For the first time since they met up Baekhyun tilted his head only a fraction of a degree, eyes turning to look at Chanyeol shyly from under his eyelashes. The look was enough. The answer was yes.

Chanyeol looked down and took a moment to compose himself. He really didn't want to break down into tears in public, in front of Baekhyun when the latter make had so much more to cry for. Baekhyun wasn't crying. 

Chanyeol took one of Baekhyun's thin hands in his own clammy ones, holding it tightly in his grip. "You don't have to listen to him, Baekhyun. You don't have to be afraid of him anymore. You don't have to take the terrible medicine he gives you from the doctors. Gah, look at you..." Chanyeol's palms found their way onto Baekhyun's face, lifting the head gently and meeting eyes. "Your skin is gray, your eyes are empty, your body is like a skeleton, your hands are shaky. You don't have to take the meds anymore, Baekhyun. You don't have to worry about him hurting or oppressing you. I can see what's he's done to you; he's trained you not to speak. But I want you to speak. I want to hear you laugh and sing and talk all the time. I don't care about the doctors' bull treatment; bipolar, autistic, post-traumatic stress, developmentally disabled, it means nothing Baekhyun. It means nothing because all of it is beautiful, you make those things a gift of Aphrodite. You're so beautiful Baekhyun and I will protect you. I promise you, I'll protect you from him."

Baekhyun, shivering and teary-eyed, carefully tugged his face out of Chanyeol's grip. He looked away and said softly, so soft that the taller almost didn't hear it: 

"Chanyeol doesn't keep his promises."

He sounded like he wanted to say more. Baekhyun clearly was attempting to hold back his sniffles but they slipped into the air anyway. The small man seemed like he was on the verge of bursting into tears but had a look on his face like a child afraid to be scolded by his parents, so he choked the sobs back under a snuffle.

Chanyeol wasn't sure if Baekhyun knew how harsh his words were on him. The taller wasn't sure himself if the reason why they hurt was because they were from Baekhyun or because he knew they were true. Probably both. But Baekhyun had every right to say them...that hurt, but it didn't, because Chanyeol deserved it.

It only took a second for Chanyeol to gracefully sweep Baekhyun off of the bench, interlocking their fingers and holding him close. The taller wasn't sure what he looked like, but he could feel the hot tears streaming down his cheeks and was terribly embarrassed of himself...but he cried for Baekhyun. Baekhyun liked seeing vulnerability and Chanyeol's sensitivity was long overdue.

The young man took a moment to feel Baekhyun's belly as it expanded and contracted against his own with each of the shorter's breaths. He also used that moment to smell Baekhyun's scent: a combination of urban metallicy and sweet basil and warm petrichor. He looked into Baekhyun's dark eyes: deep, sensitive, fearful eyes. It pulled a painful chord in Chanyeol...Baekhyun's eyes used to be overly excited and light, but although several months of suppression by pills drained the boy's energy, that wonderful hint of curiosity was still there.

Chanyeol squeezed Baekhyun's hands and broke out into sobs as he spoke.

"Baekhyun I'm a terrible, dishonorable human being. I left you alone when you needed me most. I neglected you when all you wanted was love. Baekhyun, I want to care for you and make you happy and give you all the attention in the world. I want to protect you and support you and goddammit I want to kiss you so badly. I've spent the last few years trying to avoid you because you were different. But I don't care if you have bipolar panic tantrums or if you behave younger than your age or if you like pretty things. And you're this beautiful flower that is more than perfect but I could never ask you to be mine because love isn't about possession, it's about appreciation. And that being said what I'm really trying to say is that Baekhyun, I love you so much. I love you and I'm sorry I never said it earlier. I love you and I want to see you all the time. I love you and I want to hear you laugh. I love you."

Tears started slipping from Baekhyun's waterline and his cheeks flushed a rosy shade of pink. He looked down bashfully and suddenly giggled, such an ethereal sound to Chanyeol's ears. The taller male waited somewhat impatiently for a reply, and what he got was Baekhyun throwing his arms around Chanyeol's neck in a hug.

"Baekhyun doesn't like his caretaker!" the boy cried. "Baekhyun wants Chanyeol. Baekhyun is sorry he didn't call, Baekhyun wanted to! Baekhyun l-loves Chanyeol so much and wants Chanyeol to take care of him! Baekhyun wants to take care of Chanyeol too!"

Chanyeol buried his face in the crook between Baekhyun's neck and shoulder just before they both pulled away and molded their lips together, a sort of sweet tango of tender, love that made Chanyeol's heart almost burst with joy.

Baekhyun pulled away first, red as a tomato and shivering with adrenaline and cold. The smaller rested his head on Chanyeol's broad chest, arms wrapping snugly around his waist.

"Baekhyun loves Chanyeol."

Chanyeol moved his arms to cradle Baekhyun's head. He kissed the top of the latter Korean's head and pressed Baekhyun closer.

"I love you."

END