Love is…what it is. There are different kinds but the most beautiful love for me is that you love the other person without regret and even if they don’t love you back… You’ll still love them even though you get hurt. You never ask for something in return for your love. You’ll never ask them why? You’ll be by their side even if they are with someone else, and if that person hurts your loved one then you’ll be there waiting. So you can at least make them smile. Seeing the one you love smile is the most beautiful thing in the world. You’d do anything to make them smile.

Sungyeol- “Why Does Love Hurt So Much? There is no explanation of why it hurts. When you let go, you know that it’s over. There’s no other way of saying it. At least that’s what I think. The more it hurts…The more you realize that the one you let go was the one you’ll never get over. They’ll be the one you’ll want forever. No matter how much you deny it, they’ll always be there. Never letting you forget. Never letting you rest without seeing their face in your dreams, and their sweet melodic voice calling out for you. You’ll never forget…You’ll never forget the pain, of letting someone go, and you’ll never regret love no matter how much it hurts.”

“Can you smile for me? One last time,” Sungyeol said with his smiling face while inside he wanted to scream and shout for L to stay.

“Why would you ask me this! I- You just found out that I love someone else. Why aren’t you telling me you hate me!” L demanded.

“Because it would be a crap waste of time… I already knew this a long time ago, but…I just wanted you to stay by me, even if it was only for a few more days,” Sungyeol said.

“When did you find out?”

Sungyeol took a sharp breath and whispered, “A few months after we started dating, I noticed a few things different with you.”

“Like what?” L asked.

“You would lose your smile when you were with me. But when you came back from wherever you were, you’d smile so brightly. I didn’t think any of it till a few days ago.”

“I’m sorry,” L said, not looking into his eyes.

“Don’t be sorry. NEVER. Be sorry. You can’t help who you fall in love with. I’m happy with just this. The last few months have been a great memory. Even if you never loved me, I’m happy knowing that I spent it with you. Time will heal all wounds. At least that’s what Sunggyu- hyung says.”

Sungyeol was diagnosed with a disease that was slowly killing him. He knew that this was probably his last year here on earth. That’s why he wanted to make the best of it… He knew he shouldn’t of even had accepted L if he knew he was going to die, but… He wanted to experience love at least once before he died. He had planned to break up with L in a few months but then… He realized that he was only holding L back from the one he loved. L didn’t know anything about it, and it was going to stay that way even after he died. L was never going to know he died, never going to know that while they were dating he was slowly dying and never told him, and he was never going to know that he was a reason he regretted falling in love. It may be just nice when you have the rest of your life but when you know you’re about to die? It’s the most beautiful feeling in the world, but at the same time you know you’re leaving them behind. It slowly kills you to see them hurting. That’s why he never told anyone besides his parents and Sunggyu.

“Why can’t you hate me… It’d be so much easier for me to just know this and now feel guilty.”

“Because silly~ Right now, I still love you, but one day. I’ll move on soon, don’t worry. I’m not someone who would sulk too much over this.”

“Sungyeol…At one point, I DID love you. With all my heart, but then I,” L stopped himself before he could finish.

“Sungyeol, you are someone who will sulk over this,” L thought, “Why are you lying to me…”

Sungyeol smiled with tears b at his eyes. “I know you did…At one point but now… It’s the end of our relationship. I have a favor to ask you. Could you hold me… for one last time? Please?”

“Of course,” L gave a small smile.

“Thanks, Myungsoo.”

“Myungsoo…He never calls me that unless he’s really upset or he wants to tease me,” L thought while turning his head away.

As he held onto his soon to be ex-boyfriend, Sungyeol remembered the time when L confessed to him. It was probably the most beautiful day of his life. When L confessed, his heart felt like it was going to explode and he cried. Now that it’s over, he couldn’t help but think that he did something wrong. Well he did, he never told him that he was dying or anything like that.

When it was over, Sungyeol knew would always be there for him no matter what, even after they break up and that he’d always cherish their memories and little time they had together.

“Thank you,” Sungyeol whispered. He was afraid he would burst into tears at any moment if he spoke any louder.

“It’s the least I can do for you.”

“This is my closure. I’ll be fine from now on. And if I’m not… Well, Sunggyu, would probably slap me and tell me to snap out of it.”

“You-” L started once more, before Sungyeol cut him off. Again.

“I’ll cherish these memories forever. Thank you for these few months together. I’ll never forget nor regret them.  Thank you,” Sungyeol whispered. Though it felt like an echo because no one but the two of them were there. Sungyeol hugged him one last time and gave a sad smile. L was shocked that Sungyeol still hugged him after all that happened. He expected to be slapped or punched or something. But instead…

“I’m such a selfish person, aren’t I? I knew this so many months ago, yet I kept you by my side instead of letting you go. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I hurt you by keeping you by my side. I’m sorry. Be happy, L. Don’t regret this. I don’t want you to look back on us and regret our relationship. I want you to know that I do love you, but because I love you… I’m letting you go. I rather be hurt than stand in the way of your happiness. Be happy, okay L? Don’t make me regret this. Smile, you look your best when you smile. Good-bye,” Sungyeol said as he held L.

As soon as it started, it was over. Sungyeol turned around and started to run but L still had his arms around his waist.

“Sungyeol,” L said.

“Let go of me…I’ve said all that’s needed. Please Myungsoo, just let me go.”  Sungyeol finally let his tears fall as he felt L- no…Myungsoo’s arms leave his side.

“Why are you calling me that?” He whispered. “We’re still friends right?”

“Of course,” Sungyeol murmured, “we’ll always be friends…L.”

 With that said, Sungyeol walked away as quickly as he could. He was leaving L behind. Leaving his past behind. As soon as he knew L couldn’t see him anymore, he ran. He ran home.  When he got home, he barricaded himself in his room as he let out his tears. His chest hurt, so much. There was only one thought on his mind at that moment.

“Why did love have to hurt so much?”

The Next Day….

            “Lee Sungyeol! Open this door right now before I break it down!!” A voice thundered.

Sungyeol stirred and rubbed his puffy red eyes, trying to hide his pain. He brought out his now fake smile and went to greet his hyung downstairs at the door with false happiness.

            “Morning hyung! What are you doing here?” Sungyeol smiled as normally as he could without making it seem fake, but it was a waste of time. He knew…

            “Sungyeol…” His hyung whispered and embraced him in his arms. He let loose the tears he was so desperately holding onto out. As he sobbed his eyes out, Sunggyu led them back into the house while holding onto him so delicately. Like he was glass.

            “Why’d you do it,” Sunggyu asked, “Why’d you decide to be an idiot and do this to yourself!”

            “I…I don’t know. I just wanted to experience love.”

            “Yeol…You have me…and Woohyun…and your parents…and even YaDong- even if they’re always making out in front of all of us…”

            “Hyung…I wanted to experience the kind of love that my parents have. Unconditional and everlasting. Even though they argue and yell, they always make up in the end.”

            “Sungyeol…Can I tell you something? Can you keep it a secret?”

            “Of course, what is it hyung?” Sungyeol looked at his beloved hyung with teary eyes and promised.

            “I’m not human…” Sunggyu said this in such low voice that he could barely hear him.

            “Hyung…You’re joking right?!”

            “I’m sorry, Sungyeol. I’m…I’m an angel…So is Woohyun. We’re your and Sungjong’s guardian angels. Woohyun and I were both with you at your birth, but then Woohyun was assigned to Sungjong a year later. That’s when we split up to watch over our respective charges.

Then when you and Sungjong finally met, we were quite surprised how attached to each other you were, even though you were a year or so apart. Then you all slowly met and started to form your group. Even at the age of 5, you guys were already destined to meet. That’s when we decided to blend in with society and protect you better by taking our human forms. To gain your trust and to help you.

I’m sorry…for betraying you like this. I just couldn’t bear to see you in pain so I decided to tell you the truth now. Woohyun is telling Jongie right now,” Sunggyu said this all without taking breaths in between each sentence.

            “Wait…so you mean you were there during every embarrassing moment of my life?!”

            “Erm…Yes?”

            “Oh god... Even the times…even when I was writing in my journal?”

            “Ok, at those times, I normally left the room to at least give you some privacy, but I already knew about it even without reading it. I’m your guardian angel. I know where you are, how you’re feeling, and what you’re doing at every moment of the day. It gets annoying, but I’ve gotten used to it.”

            “I hate you right now, hyung…” Sungyeol glared at Sunggyu, forgetting about his tears.

            “Hah ha hah, that’s ok. Now that you know, why don’t you go get dressed and we’ll go buy some coffee.”

            “Sungyeol…I can’t do anything about this, but I’ll do my best to make these last few weeks for you the best days of your life. I’ll find a way…I’ll find a way to save you, or at least a way for you to join Woohyun and I in the ranks of being an angel… I promise,” Sunggyu’s thoughts were filled with guilt and sadness.

Guilt because even though he was his guardian; he couldn’t do anything to save him. Sadness because it Sungyeol’s last few weeks. No… It was both of theirs. Until it was Sungjong’s time to leave this world, Woohyun will stay on earth with him. Now that Sungyeol’s time was coming soon, it was almost time for his return to heaven and to guide the newer souls like Yeol to heaven.

           “Sungyeol…you have 3 weeks, 2 weeks that I’ll make the best of, and a week in the hospital to say your good-byes,” Sunggyu’s thoughts were of how to make his dongsaeng smile his widest for the next few weeks.

            “Coffee? Okay!” Sungyeol immediately ran up the stairs to his room and quickly put on a pair of black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt. Simple, but stylish.

            “What’s with the ugly look on your face, hyung! By the way…How old are you?”

            “That…is none of your business,” Sunggyu said with a blush while snapping out of his thoughts.

            “Oh I see…You’re in your thousands aren’t you?”

            “What! I am not that old!”

            “Hehehe~ Old leader Gyu, old man Gyu, you’re an ahjusshi, Gyu-ahjusshi! Fah la la la la, la la la la~” Sungyeol sang.

            “Shut up, you choding!” Sunggyu’s face turned red with embarrassment and anger. It was a strange combination for an angel to have.

            “No! Old man Gyu is-” He was cut off by Sunggyu covering his mouth with his hand and dragged him off to the near-by coffee shop.

            “Mmm…Coffee. The love of my life!” Sungyeol exclaimed cutely. Sunggyu raised an eyebrow at the declaration and took a sip from his own cup of coffee. It surprised him how the heck he survived till now, probably cause of him, because this coffee addiction was really bad for his health.

            “It’s a wonder you survived till now…”

            “What! How could you say that! Coffee is the elixir of life!”

            “No you stupid. That’s the tree of life. There is no elixir of life.”

            “Then you’re a stupid angel cause there is! And it’s coffee!”

            “No you…This is a stupid conversation. I’m not talking about this with you anymore.”

Sheesh, finally done! Sorry it’s like this. I don’t have a person to read it over and correct it right now because my friends are all currently on vacation. >.< those people… Anyway, sorry I left it off right there. I just have no idea what to write next. If you have ideas, please tell me and I’ll try my best to incorporate it into the story. This is my first story by the way!

 English is also not my first language so I hope I’m doing well. Thank you for reading and please comment/subscribe. Thank you! :) It might be a while till I write the next chapter since I am busy right now. I’m sorry! :(

By the way, what pairing do you want for Sungyeol?

 Do you think he should end up with L again? Or do you want L to suffer and have him end up with someone else?

I would really hate to make L suffer since he’s one of my favorites in Infinite, but…I will if you want me to.

I already have Woogyu, YaDong, and maybe Sungjong with and Oc or if you want someone else then please tell me in the comments, it can be male or female.