“Sunbae.”

That sobriquet somehow turned into some kind of alarm, warn my entire system to suddenly become one hundred percent aware of my surroundings, searching for any sign of him. My own experience has proved that it didn’t take long time till his sign could be noticed, be it his physic or merely his voice. Whenever someone called him for help, miraculously, he always there and take care of it well. These people in our faculty are all agreed that he is a man that turned into angel. But I prefer think that he is an angel trapped in human body.

Although not all people ever experience his kindness directly, all people in our campus – even outside too, know his voice. The Sky, his indie band that includes him being the vocalist double with guitarist, is famous for their easy listening songs and its deep meaning lyrics. Fan or not, people in our campus know them and listening to their songs. As if such perfect human being existed, his name is always displayed on top whenever our exam result is out. And to make it complete package, you won’t dare to doubt his visual and down-to-earth personality.

But being super-famous person that glimmered with such compliments he is, he never differentiate any of us, who need his help or just simply want to close with him, and that’s the beginning of how such nerd like me could be noticed by someone like him.

It was because those useless friends of mine that couldn’t help me with my super depressing assignment essay and I left with no choice beside asked for his help.

And as expected, he helped me out, not only being my savior but also made me get the highest score in my class. I hope this story ended here, but I feel – and mostly people will – indebted to him so I struggling with myself this past week, trying to find a way to pay back his help. A week full of contradiction thoughts finally made myself brave enough to give something in return, although not directly. That something was a book that I really treasured. I put it in his locker, unwrapped and left it plain only with a note that stuck on the cover, between those fancy gifts that wrapped really prettily and even smells too nice.    

I heard you find a hard time to write your new songs. I hope it helps. – Jieun

**

When I gave that book, I felt nothing but relieved and I expect nothing beside wished that it wouldn’t ended up in dustbin, because that book is too precious to have that kind of condition to be its destiny. What I didn’t expect – and not mentally prepared – was on that windy afternoon in autumn, he came to my class, searching for me, one week after I left that book that has zero confident to be noticed since it has fancy rivals. At that time, I was on my daily routine – shut myself from the rest of the world and only took some books to accompany – to put it in simpler words, I was at the library, and that was my friends told him.

“Jieun?” he called my name out of the blue, and I jerked from my position and look at him in disbelief as respond. He chuckled, let out his precious smile that of course – not my personal opinion – but those girls at our faculty that crazy over him (but after saw it directly, I know why then).

I felt nothing but shocked. No one ever interrupt my solitude at library at these hours, when I sit on the cold floor, surrounded by books that I got before isolate myself and didn’t get up for 4 hours straight. Meanwhile he just slipped like that, casually clears up some scattered books and makes himself a space to sit on. When he finally did, I don’t know how shocked my expression was.

“I hope you won’t mind because I just asked your number and your SNS id to your friends and I got it.”

I felt totally lost, not able to even open my mouth since his sudden appearances, and that random confession almost got me a heart-attack, literally.

Hearing no respond, he quickly added, “You’re Jieun right? The one who gave me this book?”

I simply nodded, amazed by the fact that he actually noticed that book and come here through just to make it sure, and how he manages to find and recognize me when our thrice meeting back then was all about us staring at our notes or screen laptop to made that survived essay.

“I want to thank you personally.” he smiled again, “So… thank you so much for the book. I really love it. Could you suggest me similar book like that?”

I – for confusing seconds – didn’t reply to his question and just staring blankly at him. “Jieun?” he called again.

“Ah, that’s right. Uhm, as for now, nothing particular come up in my mind. I’ll tell you later.” Deep in the inside, I feel somehow proud to myself to make myself speak in such calm tone when how I actually feel was the total opposite.

“And when exactly ‘later’ is?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I gulped. Honestly, my words earlier just some kind of formality to let this absurd conversation end fast. So, stupidly but honestly, I replied, “I don’t know?”

“Then I’ll text you later.” he announced, without second thoughts. His bluntness got me bald. “And when I do, I hope you give me a great list.” after said those words so easily, he stood up and get ready to leave, but he said those words that makes my heart flutter without I could even resist;

“And I’m in the middle writing my songs again. All thanks to you.”

At that windy afternoon, right after he left me in that corner of our campus library, those books that I get before left unread.

upcoming chapters is on process~ The Sky idea come up because this song, in case you wondered.