Hi!! Thank you for subscribing and giving the upvote!! Sorry for the late update, I hope you enjoy this chapter, this story! Please leave a comment! :D

Btw, I change the perspective to the third person. So, it will be easier to elaborate the condition and be objective. Kukukuku

 

 

 

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“After I was hospitalized weeks ago, I eat vitamins and fruits more often, as you always said to me before, Mom hehe. I am obedient, right?

But still, I feel my heart ached, like- um-, I don’t know, Mom. It feels like it is clenched, extremely hard, it’s really.. painful.”

           

The silence flurries as the summer breeze is blowing through Moonbyul’s shirt. He is grasping his blue collar as if feeling his pang. He is adoring the sky and everything leans on it by staring at them while squinting his eyes occasionally since the sun rays timidly. The relatives of anxiety is combined into one and streaming in Moonbyul’s head, this is the first time for uneasiness taking over Moonbyul. That is why he simply doesn’t know how to overcome it.

 

“I’ve ever told you that my feeling for this girl is growing stronger as the time goes by. It’s the L word, Mom. Gosh, I can’t even pronounce it well. No- no, Mom, I’m scared and embarassed at the same time, oh my Lord!

Th- this feeling.. this L feeling is um- creeping inside me! I’m feeling creepy in front of her as well. From cannot stop gazing at this alluring creature to.. to cannot help myself to seize her. No no no, not that exaggerating. I mean, I want her to be mine. Nobody is allowed to touch my possession.

This obsession is unhealthy, Mom, this is.. unhealthy!”

 

Moonbyul has been crossing his arms and holding it tightly. His feet are kicking each other as the anxiety taking over him. That is the desperate Moonbyul nobody could ever see in his campus, in his daily life. He has been hiding this kind of feeling neatly under his skin and can be tore only by one; his mom, his deceased mom. His mom passed away when he was in the second grade of junior high. It was cancer taking the life of his beloved. Before she died, Moonbyul’s mom already reminded him to accept the fact, stay stronger, and hold his feeling ‘cause she knew, sooner or later, she would walk away from his life. Deep inside him, he still cannot let go of his mom since she’s the closest family member to him. That is also the reason why Moonbyul is easily attracted to a mature girl rather than a “little cutie” kind of girl. He loves his mom so much he visits her cemetary once per two weeks or three, just to drop flowers and prayers, or even whining his heart out like today.

 

He is mantaining his breath stable, try not to panicking ‘cause he’s got a lot to tell his Mom about his current state. Of course, who is he going to share his story with? Trust issue.

 

“Recently, I see her with this guy very often, his name is Eric, he is apparently the president of the student executive board, Mom, that is considered as the coolest position a student can get. Bummer, it’s 1 – 0 already. There are times I caught them holding hands, laughing together along the way, having lunch together in the cafetaria or somewhere nearby campus, when I can’t even hold her hand in public, Mom. 2 – 0.

But, several days ago, we were still going to the movie together, just the two of us, which is a very rare occassion. Sometimes, I feel like we were in an official relationship, more than a working partner, like a boyfriend and girlfriend. She lifts me up, then break me down.”

 

Moonbyul continues uttering his words to the gravestone as both hands raging his hair. It is now pretty messy, any comb is welcomed to tidy it up.

 

“Rumor is everywhere, people are talking about them, people are admiring them as a relationship goal, people say they are dating, eventhough both haven’t released official statement. All I can learn from the rumor in my school is either it is true, or it will come true. I can’t- I can’t lose her. She’s- mine.”

 

“Have you ever told her that you love her?”

 

According to Moonbyul, that is his mom laying next to him, their faces resembles each other, both hair are light brown, but his mom’s is longer, of course. Only he can see. But according to the others, he is insanely halucinating. Moonbyul snapped as he heard the “L” word. He wants to continue talking, but his mind obscuring his sentences.

 

“I, I- no. I-, I am not sure about her feeling, totally have no idea. Besides, you said that the “L word” can be replaced with other words and actions, right? Like, buying her breakfast, accompanying her home, listen to her stories solemnly, making her laugh, and so on.”

 

Moonbyul has never thought of confessing his feeling until Eric came to Yongsun’s life. He’s feeling extremely insecure that Yongsun will be attracted to Eric because people can change. For Moonbyul, Yongsun’s prettiness lives inside and outside. Moonbyul is not the type to fall for faces, he falls for personality, that is the first thing he observes from women. The most thing scared Moonbyul to his skull is that Yongsun can simply use her charm, anywhere, anytime, to get any guy she wants. All this time Moonbyul keeping his feeling for her, he can’t even count how many boys are having crush with her, but she didn’t pick any of them. For Moonbyul, Eric the biggest competitor, and threat now.

 

“Your Majesty, I have mixed feelling with all these illogical emotion in the present case, to be specific, overwhelming,” Moonbyul says as if pleading in the court.

 

“You never tell her your true feeling, how could you deserve her attention about it?”

 

Moonbyul’s eyes shut. His fingers are tickling his eyebrows.

 

“Beautiful love grows in silence flawlessly. Lower your ego, loosen your imaginary possesive embrace on her, Byul.”

 

“But, Mom, isn’t it obvious? Everything I did to her? I believe she understands, judging from the way she behaves around me,”

 

“There you go. Seems the sunlight has illuminated your thought,”

 

“But why is she also close to that guy at the same time?”

 

“Perhaps she cannot choose. Or she has no choice.”

 

“What? Options? What options? Why is it so complicated?”

 

“Now it’s your new task to figure it out, Dear.”

 

Moonbyul starts to digest the prior voices. He can’t deny it, he won’t. His mom’s words are right. Here I am again, adoring in silence, caging the affection deep inside the heart. He thought to himself. Moonbyul prefers finishing piles of legal opinion of complex issues rather than dealing with Yongsun and her complicated response. But somehow, he enjoys every risks coming up towards him, his agony is as addictive as Yongsun’s pleasant smile.

 

“Beep beep!! Beep beep!!” Moonbyul’s phone alarms ringing to remind him that it’s already 8.30 AM. He slides his phone to turn off the alarm. It should be his time to go to another destination.

 

“I don’t wanna leave now. I still wanna lay here and just forget the world.” Then he sets another alarm 30 minutes from now. He lays his body facing the gravestone, putting both of his hands under his right cheek and stooping his shoulder. He doesn’t need his mom’s permission for staying there longer, ‘cause he’s the boy who decides.

 

30 minutes has gone, it’s time for Moonbyul to leave. He tidy up himself, fold the thin blanket he uses at the base, and leave her mom with prayers. It takes approximately 1 hour from the cemetary to his next destination. His thought is not ended yet, it keeps going on in his journey as his favorite song.

 

---

 

Moonbyul arrived at his next destination, handing 3 big plastic bags of ice creams. They are for the childrens and volunteers. As he steps on the orphanage’s yard, the kids are screaming and running towards him excitedly. They strike Moonbyul’s body with hugs making him fall down to the ground. Besides ice creams, they share laughters.

 

“Byul Appa!! Byul Appa!! I want an ice cream too!” said the three-year-old boy while wandering around Moonbyul’s stiff body on the ground that is still surrounded by bunch of kids.

 

“Sora-ah! It’s ‘oppa’, not ‘appa’!! Moreover, you should call him ‘hyung’!” Areum said to him. But Sora seems not to pay attention to older and keeps himself orbiting around his ‘appa’. “Ya!! Sora-ah!! Listen to me!!”

 

Afterwards, Moonbyul gets up and sit on the ground, asking the kids to queue and share his ice cream one by one to the kids. He successfully planted cute smiles on those faces. He then moves to the volunteers to share the rest.

 

“Oppa, you are late!! And look, your shirt is so dusty!” Wheein said to him as she pats Moonbyul’s shirts together with Hyejin.

 

“Sorry, I got something up this morning.” He grins. “By the way, Volunteers chingu, please come here! These are your ice creams, please enjoy it!” as Moonbyul shouts that the volunteers are approaching him and thanking him for his treat. Everyone has got their ice creams, except for one. Moonbyul is saving the only certain favorite ice cream for a certain person. Yes, it’s Yongsun. Yongsun later approaches Moonbyul as the volunteers crowd move sideways.

 

“Yongsun Noona! Here’s your fav!” As Moonbyul hands the ice cream to Yongsun, he steals a glance at Yongsun’s back. He jumps his heart out as he saw the boy he’s ranting about this morning. That boy is not alone, he’s with 5 or 6 friends following him to get close to Moonbyul.

 

“Thank you, Byul. By the way, Eric is here to help us, as well as his friends,” Yongsun says calmly.

 

A strong hand coming straight towards Moonbyul, suggesting him to grab it and shake back. “Hello, Moonbyul-ssi, my name is Eric, I’m sure we have met before. I am here to help you guys in this project as offered by Yongsun. Nice to meet you!”

 

Moonbyul feels threatened with Eric’s appearance. Moonbyul’s expecting more volunteers, he admits he is really gready about it, but not Eric he wanted. Menaced Moonbyul appears to be more appealing and firm to hide the shock remain.

 

“Welcome. Nice to meet you too, Eric-ssi,” Moonbyul is throwing his conceited smile to him. Later Eric introduces Moonbyul to his other friends whom names he forgets already after few seconds.

 

“Sorry, Eric-ssi, and friends, I didn’t expect that there will be new volunteers coming here and I’m not well informed about this as well. So, I didn’t bring more ice creams for you guys,”

 

“No, no, that’s okay Moonbyul-ssi, what a nice of you!” Eric replies.

 

“Well, Eric, we can share this ice cream together,” Yongsun says as she offers Eric her bitten ice cream.

 

Hearing Yongsun’s reaction, Moonbyul strongly says, “No!” He still mantains his annoyance feeling very deep under the appealing appearence. Of course he won’t let Yongsun shares with Eric, Moonbyul thinks that would be sharing kisses indirectly. “You can have mine, Eric-ssi.” By ‘mine’, I mean my ice cream. “Here you go.” He hands his ice cream to Eric. “I’ll go buy for the rest now, please wait,”

 

“No, no, that’s okay, Moonbyul-ssi, I can share with Yongsun,” Eric politely rejects Moonbyul’s offer, but Moonbyul doesn’t stop. If he was a TNT, he exploded Korea peninsula already.

 

“Please, Eric-ssi, it’s okay. I feel really bad for it. How rude I am not sharing you my treat.” Moonbyul insists. In the end, Eric accepts his offer and they make a deal that Eric’s friend will get the ice cream after they finish today’s activity, ‘cause they feel bad for Moonbyul’s “kindness”.

 

People are enjoying Moonbyul’s treats, as they take lunch break as well. There’s only Mrs. Im, the owner of the orphanage, who stands by today since the rest of the workers took a day off during this weekend. The kids and volunteers are making the meals together, hand in hand. They are helping each other from the very beginning of the preparation until washing all the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. After digesting the food well, they move on to their next schedule which is taking a nap! Mrs. Im comprehends how to take care of kids very well, she creates activities to bolster children’s growth and development. On the other side, taking a nap is a very rare occurance for university students, that is why those adults are rejoicing this moment the most rather than the kids, to ease their weary for being with the kids from the morning.

 

After taking a quite long nap, they continue their activity. In the morning, they taught the kids some formal lessons, in the afternoon, they play along. The kids are divided into several teams, depends on the activity they want to do the most, there are singing class which is led by Yongsun, drawing class by Wheein, sport by Moonbyul, and story telling by Hyejin. It is very delightful to see the interactions between them and the kids, it feels like home for the kids, to accept huge amount of the love from the adults. However, there is one who feels resentful at that time, who else if not Moonbyul. Stealing glances at his noona doesn’t feel as amusing as it used to be, ‘cause he will see another shadow roaming around her. Moonbyul didn’t expect that Eric would be that skilful at singing. They actually make a great duet, even on songs for children which is really hard for Moonbyul to admit. On every lyrics they sing, every glare they take, every skinship they show, would be another crack on Moonbyul’s heart. On the other hand, he understands that Yongsun Noona brings Eric and his friends here, they shall stick together since it’s their first time of voluntary. He thought, he should understand, he’s trying hard to. But at least, his muse becomes another goals for the opposite group in his football class.

 

It is almost the end of the match. Moonbyul is concentrating hard to cope with himself for the last minute to obtain just one shoot on the goalpost. One more goal can determine the winner. While waiting for the ball passing to him, Moonbyul feels a tiny hand pulling his sweating shirt. That is little Sora with needs.

 

“Appa, let’s go buy ice cream. Sora wants ice cream,”

 

“Omo! You surprised me!!” Moonbyul responds to the little kid. He’s bowing his body and putting both his hands on his knees to equalize their heights. “Sora-ah, could you wait for a second? We will go after this match finish, okay?”

 

“Okidoki!” Sora answers without taking seconds.

 

“Okay, now, could you please wait for me in there, Tiger?” Tiger is Moonbyul’s nickname for Sora because he has strong legs and runs so fast. Sora likes it. Then Moonbyul’s pointing at the side of the terrace of the Hanok. Moonbyul’s afraid that the field is not a safe place for Sora to wait, the ball can haunt him accidentally whenever the time comes. Sora just nods his heads and runs towards the place Moonbyul told him. Moonbyul forms a smile and says, “Good boy.” It’s so free to be Sora, he can join the game or leave it whenever he wants to.

 

Minutes later, the match has ended with the score 2-2, it’s a draw match. Without having a rest, Moonbyul then picks up Sora to get him the ice cream and keep his earlier promise to buy the ice cream for the new volunteers. Seeing Sora and Moonbyul holding hands leaving the Hanok, Areum is in a rush to join them. For Areum, Moonbyul is her favorite adult, so does Sora. In their eyes, Moonbyul is so entertaining and generous. As long as Moonbyul is there, they don’t need anybody else. Areum then asks for permission to Yongsun to leave the singing class to get Moonbyul. The even later becomes odd, Sora in his right hand and Areum in the left.

 

It takes appoximately 15 minutes to get to the convenience store nearby. The way from the Hanok is rather far, they have to get through grove and hurst. There is something really strange on their way out, excavators, buldozers, and other heavy constuction equipments are parking nearby. They must have just arrived since he didn’t see those equipments this morning. Unbelievable. His university is getting ready to flatten everything to the ground. Some of the workers are staring at them intimidatingly, but Moonbyul doesn’t give a damn at the time and ensure the kids that everything’s gonna be okay, all they have to do is keep on going.

 

On their way back, it is so unfortunate that they have to encounter the jackass Taewoo. From afar, Taewoo has smirked and waited for Moonbyul to get closer to him because he’s blocking the only way to get to Hanok with the two muscular workers. Taewoo crosses his arm on his chest, raises his chin to show off his power he thought he had. As they get closer, Sora and Areum’s hands are holding Byul’s hand thighly, they close the space in between, somehow that gives him strenght to hide his anger towards the jackass and remain reserved.

 

“Excuse me, Sir, I need to go to that way,” Moonbyul starts to spit the word.

 

“Going where, you bugger?! Home? It’s gonna be bulldozed, as flat as the ground, soon,”

 

“I’m sorry, Sir, you shouldn’t have said bad words in front of the kids. Besides, it won’t happen, I promise you.” Answered Moonbyul arrogantly. One’s better not appear as haughty in front of Moonbyul, ‘cause he will treat them more than that, he is the cockiest of the cocky. “Now, would you excuse me, I need to get back home with the kids,” The jackass keep mocking and disdaning Moonbyul, glorifying his project and all as if he’s super powerful with high authority. Moonbyul doesn’t give a damn about it, he keeps walking with the kids smoothly, until the jackass orders his workers to stop Moonbyul.

 

One of the worker grabs Moonbyul’s shoulder and turn it around. Soon, he gave Moonbyul a punch on his head. Byul’s knocked to the ground. Byul tells the kids to run, but it’s too late, ‘cause another big man caught them. Both kids get scared, they start to cry and scream, while Moonbyul’s rolling his body as the man keeps kicking on his ribs. He’s throwing up blood out of his mouth. The man then lift Byul up by his collar, hammering him with his gigantic fist. Byul can’t stand it anymore, there’s no way he can’t handle hearing the cry of both kids. From the weak noodle, Byul turns himself into a furious psycho, as if he possesed by a spirit of the grove. Byul’s smirk and eyes catches the muscular’s man breath away. All of the sudden, the man becomes so weak and frightened he trembles himself to the core. The atmosphere is totally different, the guy in front of him is not the same Moonbyul he kicked on the ground.

 

Byul then catches the man’s fist and easily cracking it. The equal fight has begun. Byul is using his arm and legs skilfully to defeat the man. He doens’t even give a chance for the man to touch him. Eventhough Byul’s body is 1/3 from the man, beating the man is a piece of cake for him.

 

One man down, two more. This is entertaining.

 

The muscular man has the same fate as another, easily conquered by the man of bones. The jerkass Taewoo can’t believe what he sees. In front of him, standing a guy full of blood on his head, gawping and sniggering at him. Taewoo is declaring to himself that today is the most terrifying event in his life, so far. Without taking too long, Taewoo is running away as fast as he can. But, he is not that fast.

 

Jackass Taewoo, is a nancy boy.

 

Byul is flying him a kick, making the big mouth tenderly kissing the dirt. Taewoo’s body is still in shock, cannot move even a cm. Moonbyul then squats next to the jackass head – showing his back to the kids – helping the jackass making a movement by grabing hard the hair from the back. He whispers, “Yesterday, I promised myself to rip you into in’ pieces. You know, I keep my promise, I don’t break them. But there are children here, it should be parental advisory for explicit content.” Taewoo’s shivering, he has no guts to respond. “You should thank them, I didn’t harm you.” Taewoo’s got crack on his backbone. “For later, don’t you dare showing your face in front of me you ! And tell you boss to get his off this area. Or else, I won’t just let you kiss the dirt, but bury you in it. Understand?” The tears on Taewoo’s face is regarded as his acknowledge by Moonbyul. After throwing away his grip, Moonbyul’s back to his normal state. The previous was just a level 1 furious Byul.

 

Byul’s trying to clean the mess on his face in order not to scare the children, but doesn’t work since the blood and the sweat has dried. Byul’s picking up the children with his embrace. Sora and Areum witnessed it all. The two cannot stop crying their heart out, especially Areum since this scene is the source of her trauma. On the other hand, in Sora’s mind, Moobyul has become his vigorous superhero as seen in his comics who will be his forever guardian. Moonbyul’s patting both of them and ensure them, once again, that everything’s gonna be okay.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Everything is alright now, Areum, Sora. The bad guys are gone. Byul Oppa will protect you, Byul Oppa won’t let that happen again, I promise. I’m sorry for today, I’m really sorry.” After that, Moonbyul lifts the two on his embrace, left and right. “Shall we go home?” The calm voice of Moonbyul is comforting the kids, this incident strenghten their bond to not to let go of Moonbyul. Three of them holding each other tightly, not wanting to lose each other or witnessing the same thing occurs. From this moment, Moonbyul really promise himself that he won’t let nobody harm Sora, Areum, and other kids. He will do his best to keep the kids safe on his embrace.

 

As they arrive at the Hanok, the rest of the volunteer are welcoming them with weary eyes. They can’t believe what accross their vision. Some of them curing a battered Moonbyul, while the other taking care of the child. In that moment as well, Yongsun is gathering all of the volunteer and Mrs. Im to discuss about this problem and to prepare for their next plan.

 

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Today is almost the end of summer in Korea, the end of July, but the dog days. One month to go. The end of July is also the anniversary of the press club, the 30. They usually celebrate it with dinner and drinking together with their seniors, the least activity Yongsun fond of, but she has to attend it since she endures the title of the president of the club. The celebration is not fancy, just having dinner in the restaurant nearby the campus. Not so many attend this celebration, 35 people only, including the seniors who are not active member anymore. In the university club, 25 is a small number, usually each club has at least 50 members, but the press club is an exception.

 

In the long dining table, these people are interacting under the influence of alcohol, except for Moonbyul and Yongsun, they have their own reason for not drinking.

 

“Byul, Byul, drink this, drink this. I haven’t seen you touching these beers or soju.” Moonbyul snaps out of his mind. He thought nobody will notice that he’s only drinking mineral water.

 

“Ah.. Jonghyun sunbae, with all due respect, I recently reduce the amount of alcohol in my body to start a healhty life, so..” He lied.

 

“Seriously? What a lame reason!”

 

“No, no, besides, I have to accompany Yongsun Noona, Wheein, and Hyejin to get home, I cannot be drunk, sunbae, they are.. under my responsibility,”

 

“Seriously? This is even the lamest! Take this and drink!” Jonghyun opens a bottle of beer and pour it to Moonbyul’s glass. Moonbyul cannot reject this no more, it will be considered impolite. Then he forcefully drink the first shot.

 

“Byul, you don’t have to worry about this, I’ll let Yongsun free from the alcohol, so the four of you can go home safely, right Yongsun?” Yongsun just nods and forms rather an awkward smile to her sunbae. She sees Moonbyul is gazing at her asking for help.

 

“Yongsun Noona, help me,” Byul’s murmuring.

 

“Just.. drink it slowly. As slow as you can,” answered the President.

 

As the time goes by, the senior starts talking about random topics, which startles Byul, and Yongsun as well. They are asking for the dating rumor about Yongsun and Eric, they want to confirm it directly from the parties concerned. If the rumor happens to be truth, that would be a historical moment for the press club, since this club and student executive board has never been friendly to each other. Rather than giving a straight answer, Yongsun respond to it implicitly, a grey answer. She only states that she’s trying to build a good relationship between the personal and institution and asking for the support from her seniors. She didn’t say yes or no.

 

Moonbyul doesn’t really pay attention, he just keeps drinking what his sunbae pour over his glass, turning his face red. He’s still in a stable state of drunk, means he still take over the control of his body. However, one more bottle can ruin his command. Yongsun is looking from the left to right and spotting the two maknaes have lost their soul to another space. She then decides to go home earlier and take Moonbyul and the maknaes together after gaining the permission from his seniors. At the table, she’s not the president, hierarchically, her seniors are on the top of the structure, so she doesn’t mind leaving the rest of her subordinate since she’s got the permission to pass.

 

She’s taking taxi to get Wheein and Hyejin home first. Both of them are living in the same building, so it’s easier to take them home. After a huge effort of directing Wheein – since Hyejin’s got a piggyback on Moonbyul – the elders manage to get them inside their apartments safely. The four of them have the passcode to each other’s apartment, in case of emergency. The next Yongsun’s agenda is taking Moonbyul’s home. However, Moonbyul is persuading Yongsun to change her mind.

 

“Hey, Noona. It’s still 10,”

 

“So?”

 

“It’s still early to get home,” Moonbyul grins.

 

“But you are drunk, Moonbyul-ssi,”

 

“First, I am still 60% sober. Second, I can take you by the hand to anywhere you wanna be. Third, it’s been a long time ...,”

 

“Since?”

 

“Well, not important. Anyway, let’s get you to-,”

 

“I get to choose the place! Let’s get us to Han River!” says Yongsun while pushing her index finger to Moonbyul’s chest.

 

“Okay, Noona!” Moonbyul’s spontanously cuddling his hand over his Noona’s shoulder, then flowing to the waist. He got punched and complaint for his greasiness from Yongsun. Yongsun’s response is precious to Moonbyul, so precious he would get greasier to see it over and over again. However, when Byul is giving her his hand to hold, she’s taking it anyway.

 

As they arrive to Han River area, they are wandering here and there, taking some foods in the convinience store, playing the rollerblade until the store closed, and most important thing, they talk as Yongsun and Moonbyul, not the President and the Editor in Chief. Yongsun smiles, laughs freely, teases and got teased, being loud, shouts, running here and there, as if flitting her wings just like an angel. Moonbyul is right, it has been a long time since both of them were getting busier in the organization. The new issue they are under is taking so much time for them, it is really huge they have to reduce, even cut their personal time. They used to walk miles and hours just to exchange random stories in random places in the evening. As long as Moonbyul’s by her side, everything will be safe and sound.

 

There are times Yongsun wants to share her deepest thoughts, doesn’t stop talking to Moonbyul. On the other hand, there are also times when Yongsun just wants to enjoy their existance in silence. They stop in the spot, Yongsun’s favorite spot. Only the two of them in there. Yongsun’s standing by the edge of the river. She’s gazing at the beautiful sparkling lights which decorates the river, ocassionally closing her eyes and feels the summer breeze whispering to her ear. Her body is standing there, but her mind has been drowning to the sky full of stars. Meanwhile, Moonbyul is sitting on the bench watching Yongsun from the back. He’s crossing his legs and spreading his arms on the backrest, comfortably resting his body and continuosly sipping his melon soda drink. As the night becomes late, the summer wind refuses to blow gently, it’s not a big deal for Yongsun, but for Moonbyul, it does.

 

Yongsun feels the wind flurrying her wavy brunette hair, brand new dyed hair. Her roly-poly cheeks cold, but she enjoys it though. The wind is suddenly decreasing it’s speed, in some part, she doesn’t feel the wind touching her, as if something blocks its journey towards her. Later on, Yongsun opens her eyes, a figure with peaceful eyes, sharp nose, and pleasant smile with bruises over the edge of his right eye and lips is standing in front of her. It’s not surprising. She smiles back. Afterwards, he takes off his jeans jacket and put it carefully on her shoulders. She manages to wear the oversized jacket neatly.

 

“Your blouse is too short and thin for the wind,” he smiles. Yongsun guesses he’s right, the white-almost-see-through-blouse is not helping at this time. With Byul’s jacket over her, her upper body part feels even warmer.

 

“Sorry, the alcohol smells too strong,”

 

Yongsun just smiles. And left him in noiselessness.

 

Moonbyul is still standing in front of her. He’s tilting his feet a little, putting his arms on his black ripped skinny jeans’ pocket, staring at what Yongsun’s adoring before.

 

“Let’s go home, Noona,”

 

The low tone of Byul’s voice is drown her deeper into the night sky. In her deepest soul, she doesn’t want to end their precious silence existance. Yongsun hesitates to move. Frowning her eyebrows for the last time, Yongsun confidently move one step forward, encircling her arms to Moonbyul’s back, resting her head on his chest. She doesn’t care about the alcohol smell sticking on Byul’s body, from his t-shirt, she can smell the manly perfume which fought against the stink. After all the bones cracked, the bruises, the wound, the pain, the exhaustion, all of the things Byul sacrifices, he deserves Yongsun’s hug. He deserves more than a hug from me. Moonbyul swears to God that he has no idea for what happened just now. Days ago he saw her flirting with a guy, but at this moment she’s holding him tightly. Despite questioning it, he welcomes Yongsun’s hug with properly embracing her.

 

“Noona,” he whispers, “Put your arm under my shirt, or it will be frozen,” Yongsun needs sometime to digest his words. Until she thinks it makes sense, she places her arms between Byul’s white t-shirt and navy blue flannel shirt. Byul’s right again, her fingers feel even warmer, heatened by his body. The flannel shirt he’s wearing has been Byul’s most favorite shirt. Guess why? Because it was from Yongsun, for his birthday last year. She thought Byul would fit the bad boy kind of style, ‘cause in some cases, Moonbyul’s too formal style is a disaster.

 

The smell of vanilla and granola which has been installed in Byul’s sensory system has never been this close. Within his cherish, everything about Yongsun, he owns it. It feels like it. But still he can’t deny the confusing thoughts walking on his head. What do you feel exactly about us? Do you feel the same as I do? Yongsun has no idea how she turns Byul’s heart upside down in a snap of finger. Byul has been consumed by his bewilder mind and Yongsun’s warm embrace at the same time.

 

Their bodies might be so close, but the distance between them is so far, as far as the love without a sound. None of them has confessed their feelings to each other. In the end, Byul thought to himself that whatever Yongsun does to him, it won’t be easy to change what he feels right now. All he knows, he has surrendered his heart to Yongsun, he comprehends the bittersweet consequences. He is insanely in love with the Noona he cannot cure himself to stop.

 

Que sera sera. Use me as you will, Noona. I’m your toy.