Partial Eclipse Of Heart

Part 1

“You need to forget about him and just move on, Taeyeon.” My friend for five years, Hwang Tiffany— is the kind of friend who exists only in stories and movies. Every other day, she had tried to convince me to forget about my sad first love, Byun Baekhyun.

Even by just calling his name unuttered made shivers run down my spine. Even to this day, I waited for him to come back to me. I tried to make myself think that I don’t need him in my life.

He was like a warm breeze that in the past, could easily comfort me in my toughest times but unfortunately, that warm breeze, one random day, made me feel insecure and cold. 

“I don’t think you should hold onto him.” Tiffany continued and I blankly just looked at her. She is a good friend— no scratch that, Hwang Tiffany to me was like a sister, one that I never had and the one I always wanted. She never got tired of my crying whenever I missed him. She never got tired of trying to convince me to forget about him.

I sat still, taking in her every word while still thinking about him and slowly as each day passed, my faith in him was fading and I didn’t know what to think.

——

“Byun Baekhyun, meet Kim Taeyeon, my friend.” The first time I met him wasn’t magical at all, it was quite the opposite. It was completely different.

When Chanyeol— our mutual friend, introduced the two of us for the first time. I held out my hand to meet his with a smile on my face. I always enjoyed making new friends and today was no exception. I frowned when he made no contact with me, my eyes slowly darted towards his face and I saw him wearing a very disgusted expression.

My brows knit together immediately and I looked at Chanyeol but he too looked very confused, “You are friends with a girl?” When the 8-year-old, Baekhyun finally spoke, I took an instant disliking on him. 

“What d-do you mean?” Chanyeol said before me, “She’s a girl.” 

Oh, I finally understood. 8-year-old boys like as Baekhyun believed it was uncool to be friends with a girl. But I didn’t fully understand it, Chanyeol was younger than me too, by 4 years.

“Why don’t you wanna be my friend?” I breathed, the frown on my face deepening further.

“Don’t you even talk to me.” He said, shrugging and walking away. And that was how we met. In an unfriendly way.

——-

Tiffany and I were having a conversation that was somewhat familiar to what we were talking about a few days ago, “You need to date.” She said confidently. I nodded, sipping my drink. We were at our office canteen. 

She idolized me so much that when a few years back when I announced that I’m going to be a reporter, she wanted to do it too. And I actually liked that. But, as reporters, we were constantly stressed out. It was so hard to come up with stories that people would actually like. But when Siwon sunbae-nim asked me to interview the famous director of Seoul’s best hospital, I couldn’t refuse. 

I was going to be interviewing the famous person, Kwon Jiyong.

——

“Why are you following me?” The 16-year-old me asked the person who was walking behind me for the past few minutes. It was getting dark and I wanted to get home early.

“I’m not.” He voiced out sounding extremely displeased. 

“Don’t you think you’re doing me a favour.” I turned and fired him an icy glare. I saw him sigh and I took in his appearance. He was fitted perfectly in his black outfit, if I hadn’t known any better I’d say he looked like a delinquent. A very attractive one.

“I’m just making sure you get home safe.” I blew a raspberry at his response and fixed my purse that was hanging off my shoulder, “I can take care of myself; since when did it matter to you?” I my heel and proceeded to walk back home, hoping he would stop following me but I knew a part of me wanted him to walk me home.

“From the very beginning, Taeyeon, you just failed to notice.” I stopped in my tracks and blinked a couple of times. I did not know what I should have been surprised at more, the fact that he just said something to me that he normally wouldn’t or he called me by my name for the first time.

Breath through the fear and walk through the fire.

—— 

I sat on my bed, tears forming in my eyes as I held the picture frame closer to my chest. 

I absentmindedly ran my thumb over the person in the picture. It was nearing eleven and during this time, I thought about trying to forget about him. I tried writing down the things I hate about him.

The list was long in my head but when I held the pencil in my hand and grabbed my notebook, my hand wouldn’t move. It was as if he was telling me to hold onto him. I had been doing that for a long while. 

With teary eyes, I glanced at the clock beside me, on the table. 11:11 it read. It is a belief that if you write your wish on a piece of paper at this time and burn it, it will come true. With that tiny hope in my heart, I reached for my pencil and started writing.

“I wish he would come back—“ I looked at the clock again, and my world fell at my feet. It was already past the wishing time. I cried more because I realised that I’m never going to get him back. And all I could think about was the sadness in my head, no other emotions— they were all dead.