Fading

First and last

Baekhyun used to love summer. It meant freedom from school, family days at the beach, hanging out with his friends and meeting new people. Summer used to be his favorite season.

He hated it now, though.

He hated it, because summer meant no school, no distractions from the monochrome of his thoughts. It meant more concernened glances from his family. Worst of all, summer reminded him that Chanyeol was no longer by his side, no longer there to laugh at his jokes, to go to the beach with him, or help him carry groceries back through the sweltering heat. Chanyeol was no longer with him to share gossip about the new people they met.

Still, Baekhyun tried to cope. Chanyeol had been gone for more than a year  now, and Baekhyun knew that his family and friends were growing more and more concerned. He knew also that Chanyeol wouldn't want him to mope.

"So I crashed into this guy at the mall the other day," he said as he sat beside the tombstone. It was a perfect summer day, full of sunshine and a summer breeze that carried the smell of flowers. "Ended up spilling my drink all over the both of us. Remember in third year, when you tripped and your milk when flying everywhere? It was kinda like that, except it was orange juice. Anyway, he looked a bit like you did then too, if I remember right." His voice faded off, and he stared into the distance for a while without speaking.

"I keep trying to think of how you looked back then. I try to remember how you laughed, how you looked whenever you smiled, the sound of your voice when you laugh." His hands clenced on the blades of grass beneath him. His chest felt tight, and his vision was starting to blur.

"I try to remember, Yeol. I think about you everyday, still, but I can't even remember your face when you told me you loved me," he sobbed. He curled into a ball, trying to keep himself from falling apart. It felt like he would fly into a thousand pieces at any moment.

"I'm scared, because every time I close my eyes, it's getting harder and harder to remember you." The wind toyed with his hair, almost like a lover's comforting caress.

"I don't want to forget you."

Only silence answered him.


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nicoholic #1
This is so sad :(((( But so innocent and beautiful in a way. Thank you for sharing this! :)
harahazitis
#2
Chapter 2: Oh whyyyy :'(
honeyandclover
#3
Chapter 2: my heart,,, sobs.
daniiisaur
#4
Chapter 1: *ugly sobbing*
JemimahGuerrero #5
So good it made me cry T.T