“Emi, here is the Q4 revenue report for Travelfy.” Ana–My personal assistant said. I was totally focused on analyzing the viewers’ report for Dramafy.
“Thank you! Please leave it here.” I pointed to an empty space on my desk without raising my head.
“Diego wants to know if you’ll go to Los Angeles this weekend.” She said.
I looked at the pen I was holding and played with it for some seconds. “Nope, not this weekend.” Ana left and I dived again into my report.
I’m so proud of my team, Dramafy is now fighting the 1st place against Viki. We’ve come a long way to get where we are now. Not even in a million years I thought we could achieve this. When Dramafy was founded, I was just a girl trying to play her fantasies of making Asian content available for anyone. I wanted everyone to fall in love with Korea, as I did.
“Sajangnim, Elle Korea wants to interview you and do a photoshoot.” Ari said as she entered my office.
I smirked. “You perfectly know my answer to that.”
I quickly looked at her. She pouched and continued looking through her iPad. “Time wants to interview you for their piece on tech start-ups.”
“That I will do.” I rapidly said without taking my eyes from the report.
“Sajangnim!” She whimpered.
“What?” I asked still with my eyes glued to the pages.
“Why Time yes and Elle Korea no?” She asked back while pouching.
“You perfectly know why. Elle Korea’s article will be about myself and the scandals of last year. Time’s article has nothing to do about me.” I calmly said.
“We’re not going back to Korea, right?” She asked with resignation.
I finally raised my head and leaned on my chair. I looked at the wall and I quickly got lost thinking of everything I had to endure last year. I’ve been analyzing my decision for months now, and I think it’s time. I wanted to be very honest with Ari, after all, she followed me here without any trace of doubt. I stood up and walked towards the window, I crossed my arms and intently watched the beautiful San Francisco sunset. I now try to enjoy every moment, every aspect, every little thing of my life. “Look at this beautiful sunset.” I said in awe.
Ari stood next to me. “Beautiful indeed.” She said with a smile.
“I want to tell you something.” I looked at her.
“You know very well how hard we’ve worked to make Dramafy the biggest website with Asian content. The company is strong, it’s growing faster than we thought not only in profits, but also in viewership, it’s becoming the website of choice around the world.” She looked at me a little bit puzzled. “What I’m trying to say is that it’s time to sell Dramafy.” I concluded.
She was dumbfounded. “Sa-Sajangnim.” She whispered.
I grabbed both of her arms. “You know I love all of Dramafy’s team members. You know very well I’m so proud of what we’ve accomplished, but I think I’ve done enough with the company. I have other dreams, I need to look to other horizons, I need to keep burying everything of my past. You know everything that has happened.” I honestly said. Keeping Dramafy means going to the place where I’ve experienced the most painful moments of my life… I need to cut ties with such a place… forever.
A lonely tear ran through her cheek. “Don’t cry.” I begged. “You can stay working for FY Group or working in Travelfy. You know very well Travelfy is such a great company to work for.” I was trying to make her laugh.
“I always thought we would return to Seoul. I thought things could be fix.”
I bitterly smiled. “This is for the best. Trust me.” I cleared my throat. “Don’t worry. I won’t sell it to someone that doesn’t understand the business or that will fire the team. I will only sell it to someone who truly deserves it. I want someone that really understands what he’s getting into.” I looked at my watch. “You said you have a date tonight. Go! Have fun! We’ll talk about this tomorrow. If you still have questions or you want to know something else about what we’ve just talked about, don’t hesitate to ask… araso?”
I think she felt some reassurance that everything will be alright. She smiled and walked out of the office.
I grabbed my purse and left the office. As I was exiting, Ana reached me. “Are you leaving?” She eagerly asked.
“Here, Dramafy’s lawyer sent you this.” She said and handed me a yellow envelope. I grabbed it and continued walking.
“Where are you going?” She happily asked again.
I frowned. “You know what I do every Thursday.”
“Oh right! The kid! Totally forgot.” She said and walked away. I turned to look at her. “What’s with her?” I thought.
I got into my BMWI3 and drove to my favorite place in San Francisco. As I parked the car, I saw her with the little munchkin in her arms. I waved to them. “Is he behaving well?” I asked with a big smile on my face.
“Oh! He’s so glad to see you!” She said as Ian raised his little chubby hands towards me so I could grab him. “Hey, sweetheart!” I exclaimed as I embraced him and gave him a kiss in his chubby rosy cheek. “Did you miss me?” I playfully asked. Ian was grabbing my finger with his little hand.
“Emi! Emi! Emi!” The other kids started shouting as they ran towards me. Soon after reaching me they hugged my legs. I laughed seeing how happy they were to see me.
“You’re the highlight of the day for this kids.” Mother Jane said. “I remember the first day you came here. How long has it been?” She thought for a while. We started walking towards the house front door. “It’s been more than ten months!” She exclaimed.
“Wow! Time really flies by.” I said. Ian was still playing with my hand. This little munchkin will be adopted soon by a couple who has lost any hope of having kids of their own. They love him so much that I’m so grateful, for Ian will be able to have two loving parents in his life. I’ve been coming to this orphanage every Thursday since I moved back to San Francisco.
I met Mother Jane when I was walking through a park without any sense of direction and totally lost in my grief. I remembered the first thing she said to me: “Instead of endlessly thinking about your problems you could be helping others.”
I was so shocked. This old lady I’ve never seen before was confronting me. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer. I didn’t even think about it. I just came here and I haven’t stop coming since then. I’ve developed a special bond with Ian, mainly because his mother died during labor.
I gave Ian his bottle and put him to sleep. I played with the other kids, until they got tired and they also went to sleep. I then helped Mother Jane to clean the kitchen.
She was placing the dishes inside the cabinet. “I told you to adopt Ian, he’ll be leaving soon and you’ll miss him very much.” She said.
I was wiping the kitchen’s table. “It’s not the right time. It’s too soon… Maybe someday I’ll be able to adopt. You know very well I want to live my life to the fullest… But someday I’ll be ready.” Living life... that’s what I learned after losing Jellybean. Losing my son is the most difficult thing I have ever experienced so far, only the death of my parents can compare to the kind of pain I felt.
After I woke up in the pool of blood, there was nothing else to be done. I was taken to the ER and I had to be induced so I could deliver the lifeless body of my son. Yes, he was a boy. You think that after so much suffering, after experiencing a lot of things that had break my heart in the past, you believe nothing will be as painful. I was wrong. Totally wrong.
“You should speak with your husband.” Mother Jane whispered and looked at me with pity. I looked down. “The fundraising event I’m planning will be a lot of fun!” I exclaimed.
“You always do that; you always change the subject.” She took deep breath. “Tell me all the plans for the fundraising.” We sat down and started talking about it.
After spending well my night in the orphanage I went home. I put my swimsuit on and headed to the pool. I’ve been a swimmer since I was a little girl. When I started Travelfy I stopped swimming. But now, no matter how late it is, I always swim at night. Swimming helps me to unwind and it releases my stress for the day. Besides, after Gahee removed my cyst months ago, she told me to exercise regularly.
Mother Jane’s question was still going around in my head. I just don’t like talking about it. I don’t even speak about it with Gahee or Diego. I’ve just buried it. He and I were totally heartbroken after losing Jellybean. We obviously didn’t do the 2nd wedding and we did not go public. What for? After losing the main reason that reunited us.
YGE only statement of our dating rumors was: "We need to check the situation. But that's not possible because it's [G-Dragon]'s personal life."
Two weeks after losing Jellybean I lost him too. He left the apartment without saying anything. I called him several times, Nan Gook tried to reach him for me without luck. Young Bae said that he needed time, time to cope with the pain. Daesung asked me to be patient. SeungRi begged me to wait for him. I couldn’t tell him I love him. Everything happened so quickly that we didn’t have time to speak. I waited for him for a whole month, grieving by myself. I don’t hate him; I hold no grudge against him. I had to come back to San Francisco due to an emergency with Travelfy. When I was here I learned, he had returned to Seoul. I thought he would come looking for me, but he didn’t. I decided to not return to Seoul. Two months later, he was photographed having dinner with a Japanese model–Nana Komatsu.
By that time, rumors of our “break-up” were released. YGE statement for that was: “We never officially offered a response to the dating rumors between G-Dragon and Emilia. So, regarding their breakup, we also have no comment."
A couple of months ago his personal Instagram was hacked and photos of He and Nana were released. I’d be very naïve if I didn’t understand that he has moved on. We haven’t spoken for more than a year now. But I don’t blame him, life happens and that’s what I think we both have been trying to do, keep living.
I’m very glad that he’s also trying to live his life to the fullest. I know he’s doing things he wouldn’t normally do. For example, in August he made his acting debut in Infinite Challenge with “Muhan Company”. Yes! I saw the movie and I think his acting was amazing! That we’re not a couple anymore doesn’t mean that I’m not his fan. Like I said before, I made peace with how we ended. I don’t follow every aspect of his life. But I get to know the big things that any normal fan would know. They had their comeback a couple of weeks ago. I love their new song: “FXXK IT”. I haven’t heard “One last dance” yet. People say it’s a sad song so I don’t want to listen to it.
After swimming for an hour, I went back to my apartment, I showered and got ready to sleep. I opened my laptop and checked Dramafy’s landing page. It’s something I always do before going to sleep due to the time zone difference. The new episode for “Radio Star” was been promoted. I frowned. “Why would they promote this program?” I clicked on it and I learned the reason for why it’s in the landing page. Big Bang it’s their guest. I decided to watch it.
I can't say I was shocked of his answer. I didn’t think about it and just went to sleep.
The next day, Ari was waiting for me inside my office. “Morning!” I exclaimed. Her phone rang. She picked up: “Hello? Yes! She just arrived. One moment please.”
“Sajangnim, Dramafy’s lawyer wants to speak with you.” She handed me her phone.
“Yes, Lawyer Kim?” I asked.
“Sajangnim, did you received the envelope?”
“Oh! Yes, but I haven’t been able to open it.” I said while quickly looking for it inside my purse. I found it and took it out.
“I already checked it and everything appears to be fine. Once you sign it we will send it back to them so they can continue with the procedure.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about. I hung up. After Ari left, I opened the envelope. “Petition for declaration of nullity of marriage” Could be read in the headline. “Kwon Ji Yong, Petitioner VS Haro Emilia, respondent”
He was filing for an annulment before the Church. His reason: “defect of will”. We both had to sign it for the Church to analyze it. I grabbed my pen and signed it right away. “He really must be eager to keep going with his life.” I didn’t have any clue that he wanted this, but I won’t say I was surprised. I immediately sent it back to Seoul.