The whole point of this was to let loose— to forget. Either Jieqiong wasn’t doing it right, or she just really wasn’t in to these kind of things.

If Minkyung knew where she was at this hour—being in an open party, surrounded by deafening music with god knows what the hell is with the unnecessary amount of bass, and drunk minors—she was most certain that the older girl would kill her.

But then again, she was here to unwind, to forget about her worries, to hakuna matata her way through the night, to drown her parents’ words in alcohol.

“Come back home, dear.” she bitterly mimics. Some way to start a conversation over the phone.

She stares down at her drink. Not once in her life had she experienced the feel of alcohol burning down , so she contemplates if she should mark tonight as her first.

She found everything about it very unfair. Her parents gave her a month’s time, waiting for her back in her hometown.

She knows—everyone knows—that going back means going back for good; never to return.

The thought of it prompted her to let go of her hesitations and let her lips meet the rim of her cup and downed her drink.

Immediate regret shows on her face, somewhat contorted into an expression of disgust as she coughed it out. She then hears light giggles beside her and she turns to see a girl.

“I’m guessing you’re not good at handling your drinks,”

“It’s my first time.” Jieqiong shyly admits before properly meeting eyes with the stranger. “I’m Kyulkyung.”

Being the well trained sophisticated lady that she was (probably not the best time to pride on it considering that she was a minor at a rave-like party), she reaches her hand out and the woman shakes it.

“I know. We go to the same uni. I’m Chaeyeon.”

Jieqiong thought she looked really pretty and innocent. It was as if the word “visual” was invented solely for her, and because of her. Jieqiong finds everything about it very unfair and quite funny that she, the social butterfly, never really recognized this Chaeyeon inside school premises.

“So what brings a minor to a senior’s party?”

Jieqiong smirked. She’s practiced an excuse all day long for when someone asks or gets suspicious. The idea came from Minkyung, wherein Jieqiong accidentally eavesdropped on her when she was on the phone and the same question popped up.

“The thrill.” the lie rolled smoothly out of Minkyung’s tongue back then so Jieqiong figured it shouldn’t be too hard to lie her way out like Minkyung did.

“The thrill.” she mimics, the smug smirk still the highlight on her face.

“I’m not buying it.” Chaeyeon laughs. Jieqiong’s smirk falls. Minky, you lying hoe.

A flat line quickly replaces the smirk on her lips as Jieqiong takes another drink from the mini bar they were sat at and prayed in both Mandarin and Korean that it wouldn’t taste as bad as the first one before Chaeyeon inquired, “Does your girlfriend know you’re here?”

Jieqiong raised her brow at the question.

“You know,” Chaeyeon continues.“tall and tan and young and lovely.”

Jieqiong laughs because one, Chaeyeon knew the lyrics to The Girl From Ipanema, two, it perfectly describes Nayoung, and lastly, the plot twist to their relationship is still mind boggling to everyone.

“Funny story about that,” Jieqiong drinks again.

xx

A few swigs and a change of DJ later,Jieqiong’s grown used to the taste of alcohol and found out that she and Chaeyeon were almost alike.

“So you live together—“

“Dorm together,” Jieqiong corrects.

“Whatever. You sleep beside each other, you hold hands—you seem to be the only to hold her hand— you like her, she likes you, you’re both totally gay for each other but you’re not together?!” Chaeyeon was rather surprised that Jieqiong could still hear her despite the loud music playing.

“Shocking, isn’t it?!” Jieqiong shouts back. She swore if it weren’t for the alcohol in her system, she would’ve phoned Nayoung by now only to tell her how much of an idiot she is.

“Do you wanna go outside?!”

And outside they went. It was quiet on the porch, and the fresh air did help them sober up a bit.

“So you’re together, but you’re not together?” Chaeyeon can’t seem to let go of the topic.

“I guess you could put it that way,”

“No cuddling? No girlfriend stuff? No kissing?” she wriggled her eyebrows at the last question.

A gust of wind ran through them, too overwhelming, just like how Jieqiong feels. “We never had a label. We started as dormmates on the first day of college then things just clicked.” That was a lie.

Jieqiong knew exactly when it started. Yebin had older friends way back when they were in high school. She and Minkyung were close knits, and with Minkyung came Kyungwon and Nayoung. They were going to the same university as them and things just fell into place.

Jieqiong doesn’t quite remember what wicked twist of fate made her and Nayoung apartment buddies. Maybe it was Siyeon or Sungyeon or maybe Eunwoo that gave them a little push. That part was a bit blurry to her.

She remembered Yebin saying one time a year after that whatever she and Nayoung had was an annoying big fat white elephant among their circle of friends.

They weren’t friends nor were they lovers. They were simply partners.

“The elephant isn’t fat. It’s terribly offended is what it is,” is what Siyeon replied during that time.

“Cuddling is strictly on cold nights,” Jieqiong says.”She cooks me meals but I guess that’s just normal for us, and as for kissing…”

It’s all just a series of blaring sirens, faces only inches away but lips never seemed to touch. It was as if every time it came to that point, it would just be like the drum rolls before something big happened.

Sadly, they were always stuck on the drum rolls, always quickly pulling away when breaths would collide.

Jieqiong sighs. “No kissing.”

“And you’ve been like that for five years?”

Jieqiong nods. “You and Heehyun?”

“Six months.” Chaeyeon answers with a sarcastic laugh before emptying the contents of her glass. Jieqiong didn’t even notice that she brought one with.

Silence ate them whole afterwards, save for banging music playing inside. She was pretty sure it was somewhere around midnight, she thinks if Nayoung’s still with Kyungwon. She thinks if Siyeon’s already home after playing with Yewon and Minkyung, if Eunwoo and Yebin are challenging each other to some dumb game that would probably lead one of them to the hospital’s emergency room, if Sungyeon’s found out by now that Yebin broke her earphones.

Her scattered thoughts bring her back to the fact that she’ll have to leave these people in about a month just because her parents told her to. Everything was very unfair, and so she frowns.

Chaeyeon catches it.

“You’re not here for the thrill nor for your messed up relationship with Nayoung,” Jieqiong wasn’t sure if Chaeyeon was asking or stating it.

And Jieqiong never knew what hit her afterwards, but her hunch said it was because of the alcohol. “Do you wanna go somewhere?”

And everything went downhill from there. From a stranger to being her senior, to being a drinking buddy, to someone to vent out on, to someone to have a heated make out session on her and Nayoung’s couch, to Nayoung walking in on them, and to the downfall of their already failed attempt at a relationship.

xx

And now they were back to reality that was six days left out of twenty-one, six days left until Jieqiong moved back to China.

“Tell her,” Minkyung was a good friend despite the heavy amount of sarcasm that drips out of her words. “She deserves to know the truth.”

Jieqiong kept the tears at bay. The last thing on her bucket list was to cry in front of Minkyung.

She was planning to leave without anyone knowing, but the second eldest among their group caught on quick. This wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that she was being pressured to tell Nayoung when she hasn’t even told this to Yebin, Siyeon, Eunwoo, or any living soul for that matter.

“Kyulkyung, I love you, really, I do. I love the both of you and one emotional train wreck was already too much for us to watch.”

Jieqiong would miss all of this. From Minkyung hugging her tighter than ever before, to Eunwoo blabbering about her day, to looking straight into Nayoung’s eyes and only seeing raw emotions that she would never—in this lifetime or next—show to anybody else except her, and the home she’s built in her existence.

xx

Jieqiong knocks on Nayoung’s door for the third time.

It opens and Nayoung greets her.

“Minkyung told me you’d be here. About you and Chaeyeon, that is.”

Jieqiong’s heart almost stops but not until Nayoung went on.

“Whatever it is, you don’t need to apologize for it. Whatever it is, I forgive you. Whatever it is, I understand.”

If she could melt right then and there, she would.

She forgave her even when she never let out an apology, she understood even when she had every right not to. God, Jieqiong doesn’t deserve Nayoung.

And that’s exactly why she came here in the first place. “I’m not here for that.” Jieqiong clears , preparing herself for the huge wrecking ball. “I need to tell you something.”

Nayoung crossed her arms over her chest and leaned on the door frame. “Go on.”

Jieqiong wonders whether an act can truly be selfless, or whether she was just doing things that would ultimately benefit herself.

Bacause how could she break Nayoung’s heart for the second time when she stood so tall, so forgiving, and so beautiful right before her?


But then again, Minkyung’s voice was ringing nonstop at the back of her head. She deserves to know the truth. Tell her you’re leaving. She deserves to know the truth. Tell her you’re leavi—

Jieqiong pounces, lightly wrapping her thin fingers around the back of Nayoung’s neck, and crashed her lips against hers, not even giving time for drum rolls.

Nayoung’s arms snake itself around Jieqiong’s waist and kisses back.

She should’ve done this a long time ago. They should’ve done this a long time ago.

Jieqiong was selfish. Jieqiong would do what she thinks she has to do even at the expense of both of their emotions.

“I love you,” Nayoung whispers against her lips.

“I’m sorry,” Jieqiong didn’t know if Nayoung heard it.

The kiss deepens.

Jieqiong could only hope that Minkyung would understand her.

SAVE PLEDIS GIRLZ. NOT THEIR VANITIES.