BGM

The five members are preparing for a comeback without their dearest ex-member Hyunseung. It feels empty for everyone even if they don’t talk about it. With their contract almost ending, Yoseob is the most anxious about whether they will all renew or not. Dujun can see how much his friend is affected but he can’t seem to help him with things moving too fast. Yoseob began to distance himself from them, unable to express himself or share his feelings with the others except Junhyung who advices him well thanks to his experience as a producer and his great analyzing skills.

The main vocal became more stressed having to sing longer in songs, he started nagging at the members about their mistakes while singing and was even passive aggressive sometimes.

 

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(The beastie members are currently at a radio station to promote their new full-length album.)

 

(Yoseob’s inner dialogue) I laughed thinking he would laugh back. But he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at Dongwoon, THEY were laughing. Without realizing, I stopped laughing. I wondered why. I kept wondering these days. Why things changed so much? He would not lift his head even if I called out for him now. Back then, he would only look at me, nobody else, just me. I was so used to get his full attention I expected him to look at him without noticing. I’m so used to do everything with him and for him.

 

(Dujun’s inner dialogue) Someone made a joke and I laughed. Just a proper reaction for the proper circumstances. I tried to laugh even if my heart wouldn't. I tried not to look but I still saw him pouting after he glanced at me. He looked disappointed in some way. We couldn't look at one another properly. We were running away from the truth with our eyes now that it was too hard for our hearts to support it. 

 

(Yoseob) I was the one who were mad at you first Dujunie but I just feel frustrated instead. It's like I want him to look at me but at the end I always end up doubting him, us. I came to realize we were different but it was too late we were already together for too long. We loved each other more than we loved ourselves. What do you keep wasting what we had? It was good AND enough. Now we just keep pretending something that isn't. I want to go back even though it hurts. I want to go back even if I know our dead-end future. It was the beginning of me with you but somehow I still feel incomplete. Should we stick together so I can see my end? Rather than saying the truth, I prefer to fight you and act in a spiteful way. That way you would hate me first, I won’t have to say those words, the painful words : « I think we should stop here I don’t like what we’ve become». We were everything I don’t want us to just be something. Biane Dujun-ah…

 

(A few days later…)

 

   Everytime they were forced to meet because of their schedule, they would be awkward towards one another. The other membres did notice something was strange but were unable to say anything fearing what would happen if they were to intervene.

 

« Hyung, look at me, I’m going to break the record eheh ! » Dongwoon yelled joyfully at Doojoon who was standing across the waiting room.

 

Yoseob and Doojoon instinctively turned to Dongwoon who was playing at the last trending game on his phone. The three of them would always play along in the waiting room. Even though Yoseob always tried to focus more on their showcase he would play from time to time by taking a look at what they were doing. Kikwang and Junhyung were no where to be found, they were always the calmest during those times.

 

Doojoon saw Yoseob’s reaction and the growing interest in his eyes. He didn’t move an inch. He chose to ignore Dongwoon and let Yoseob go play with him. He nodded and smiled with his thumbs up pretending to be busy on his phone. Dongwoon was way too interested in his game to understand what was happening so he continued devoting his passion to the game. Yoseob glanced at Doojoon shyly, understanding way too well what was happening, hesitated and stood up and went to Dongwoon.

 

« See, Yoseob hyung, wow I really thought this was hard but it isn’t. This game only needed to be played by the best gamer Son Dongwoon to be defeated. » the maknae laughed demonically, full of himself.

« You are really good Dongwoon-ah, I tried it but I did not manage to go past the first stage, daebak ! » Yoseob said in awe. He was slowly forgetting the presence of their leader in his back. He gets distracted really fast no matter what he does, which explains why he needs so much alone time before a concert.

« Ya, I can beat easily you want to bet ? » Doojon grunted in Yoseob’s back. The latter who completely forgot him, jumped with surprise and went to the side to let the leader sit next to Dongwoon. Doojoon couldn’t resist to play even though it was hard to be around Yoseob. It’s not that he was avoiding him it was quite the opposite... He truly wanted to be by his side like always, comfortably. But it was just too awkward. He couldn’t even pat his hair or hold his waist like he used to.

Doojoon took his phone off his pocket and started to play the game.

« The loser offers a meal. » Doojoon ordered to the maknae. 

« Okay, it’s on. Hyung, get your money prepared I’m ordering lots of yummy food. » the witty maknae answered.

Doojoon - who loved Dongwoon’s playfulness – smiled while playing more determinated than ever.

 

Yoseob stared at Doojoon for a few seconds. Then, played with his fingers hesitating to seat next to him or not. At the same moment, Kikwang came in and jumped on the chair next to Dujun. Yoseob bit his lower lip and looked down.

 

« What game you playing this time Dujun ? Wow you’re fast. » Kikwang commented intrigued.

« This guy loves to win so much I swear, against whom he’s playing this time ? » he asked to the other members who were also focused on the game.

« Me. You want to tag along? We’re betting a free meal. You’re in ? » Dongwoon almost whispered with his eyes still on Dujun’s phone.

« Okay sure, I don’t have the game though. Dongwoon lend me your phone please. »

« Here I have it. Take mine. » Yoseob said quietly while giving his phone to Kikwang before leaving the room to get some fresh air.

 

Doojoon got distracted for a second and suddenly lost the game. He watched the door with a serious face. He did not want him to go.

 

« You lost, you lost.» laughed the two members who loved teasing me.   

He didn’t even care a bit. I mean he would love to beat the maknae’s score and get a free meal but his mind was too focused on his cute friend who just left the room soulless.

 

He put his phone down. He stood up and silently went to the door. Dongwoon and Kikwang were too busy to ask anything.

 

Doojoon left for the vending machine. It was a hot summer day. He bought a soda and went to the balcony. It wasn't any soda, it was Yoseob’s favourite.

His cute friend was where he expected him to be. But instead of taking some fresh air he was struggling with the heat while looking at the landscape.

« Here have some it will cool you down. » Doojoon pressed the cold can on Yoseob’s chubby cheek. He got startled by the coldness of the drink and quickly took it in his hands without thinking.

Dujun smiled, amused at ’s cute reaction.

« Ah you didn’t have to, thank you. » He wanted to refuse but he had already taken it. Plus, it was so hot he thought he was going to pass out any second. And of course, it was his favourite. He thought to himself how caring Dujun always was with others, always remembering details.

He started drinking profusely like he was in a hurry.

« Ya, take your time, you’re going to be so full and complain later on stage. »

« It’s just that I’m so hot oh my god thank you. »

« Pabo-ya why come here when it’s so hot, let’s go back to the room. » Dujun pestered, feeling guilty that his friend left the room because of him.

He took Yoseob’s arm with strength and was about to go back inside when he paused.

« Dujunie wait. » Dujun froze at that sentence. It was like a detonating bomb to be with Yoseob. He knew him too well. It could be a random sentence but also something serious, so serious he didn’t want to talk about it.

Dujun let go off his arm. He swore to himself not to be bossy or get physical as he used to but he always does it without realizing.

  « I’m sorry. » Yoseob uttered.

Doojoon turned to face him, getting angry at this absurd situation he got himself into. He wanted to ignore the fact they didn’t go along these days. He thought pretending would solve everything.

Dujun wasn’t good at expressing himself with words, he uses his body to do so.

 

« What are you sorry about, pabo-ya ? » Dujun said looking at him staight in the eyes.

«  I don’t know you seem angry at me these days, you just stopped talking. » Yoseob answered.

Yoseob started playing with his hands and feet, getting cuter and cuter.

« I.. » Doojoon was taken aback. He did not know what to say.

 

He wasn’t angry at all. He was more frustered than anything. His bestfriend started becoming cold and moody and very mean. He just didn’t know what to do. Yoseob was so devastated when their former member left and Dujun really tried to put up with it and cheer him up but it has only made things worse.

« I’m not, okay ? I really am not Yoseob-ah. » Doojoon admitted calmly. His friend was still pouting not trusting his words.

« I felt like you needed some space so I gave some. Plus, you always complain how clingy I am, aren’t you satisfied ? » He added. He was feeling guilty when he didn’t do anything of the sort. He thought Yoseob was angry at him, not the contrary. But Yoseob wasn’t totally wrong he did get angry at Yoseob’s childish behavior. They were all having a difficult time but Yoseob was making everything about him. As always. He was always very affectionate with his button-nose friend, but he was now taken for granted. The more he thought about it, the more he started getting mad at Yoseob but mostly at himself.

 

He turned his back again, deciding to leave Yoseob behind because he didn’t want to talk about any of it. Yoseob grabbed his arm before he could do so but their manager appeared suddenly : « Finally, it was time I found you. What are you doing here ? You have to fix your make-up and go on stage right now. Come on. »

« One second Hyung we will be there. » Dujun responded firmly.

The manager nodded and ran to the stairs, too busy to notice their serious talk.

« Dujun-ah, please look at me. » Doojoon hesitated but Yoseob was pulling his arm so hard he turned to him for the last time. They were now very close to one another.

Yoseob lifted his face to look closely at his leader’s crisped face.

« I’m not okay with you doing so. I was wrong to act like that. So please don’t. Don’t leave him alone. Your silence is the worst thing you could give me. I feel like you've given up on me Dujunie. » Yoseob’s cheeks started to get red and he teared up a bit. It was hard for him to express his feelings for Dujun.

Dujun caressed his cheek gently. Yoseob got shy and stared at the floor.

« I won’t I will never leave you on your own if you don’t wan’t me to. You hear me ? » the leader put his hands on Yoseob's broad shoulders and kept getting closer.

Yoseob, embarrassed, tried to move backwards but Doojoon’s grip was too strong.

He moved his face very close to his and added : « So please don’t push me away when I offer my help and don’t act as if you’re okay when you’re certainly not. Acting like nothing happened is even worse. » He then kissed him softly on the cheek. Yoseob nodded and asked for forgiveness again. Before he could finish what he had to say Dujun took his hand and they went straight to the dressing room. 

 

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To be continued...well maybe for a few more chapters. as long as I'm inspired to write some more. Enjoy!