Mina nuzzled her face a little deeper in the sea of soft, fluffy pillows, her mind still occupied, amazed and in love with the memories of last night. She could still feel Momo's lips upon hers, soft but rough at the same time. Her hands all over her body... The amazing feeling those mouth and hands had caused... She'd almost become flustered again thinking of it.
And now, she laid in bed with the woman she had had a crush on for two years already. It almost seemed like a dream.

It wasn't something new. In fact, they had kissed before. They had slept with each other before too. But it felt like the very first time again, because they had been apart for a few months. Mina felt like a sixteen-year-old school girl again, like she had to hide her girlfriend for her parents, who were always watching her. They even had had a relationship, you know, but eventually it just didn't work anymore.
Not because of their busy scedules or the dating ban; Momo had suddenly stopped talking to her.

It had probably been the darkest time in her life.
Mina had been hopelessly in love with Momo. And she reckoned that Momo had been with her too. The way they'd acted around eachother wasn't just fan service. It was real. Sure, the way she acted around the other members, even if it was fan service, was real too. But most idols who acted clingy and kissy-kissy with other members do it because of the sake of their fans, or to tease. Mina and Momo never had that problem. They wanted to kiss eachother as badly as it seemed.

That first time had been magical. They hadn't even been drunk or under other influences. They had just sat on the couch together, zapping through some channels when they eventually encountered a new drama called Lily Flower. In the first few seconds it was clear that it was about lesbians, girls who like girls, and Mina had never felt as nervous as she had back then. She felt like she had a huge sign pointed at her, as if it was saying: 'Look here Momo, your friend is actually a lesbian!'. Momo's face had stayed expressionless, as if she was watching another boring documentary. Eventually, Momo had turned it off and turned towards her friend.
"Mina, we're friends right? Good friends?" Momo had asked her. Mina had nodded, of course. Best friends... the word had stung back then, but despite her wanting them to be more, it was still true. Momo had nodded, seemed to struggle a bit.
"I like girls too," she had eventually said quietly. Mina's face had been so surprised that Momo had immediately apologized for telling her that, probably thinking that Mina didn't approve of her uality. In fact, she had been completely zoned out and had done a happy-dance in her head. She hadn't felt as happy as she did back then.
Mina had been the first to bow down to Momo. At least, she had thought she did, because Momo had immediately understood where she was going to and bowed practically at the same moment. It was amazing. Better than kissing boys, way better. Mina didn't remember a time where she enjoyed a kiss with a boy as much as she enjoyed that kiss with Momo. In fact, she couldn't even remember her own name from the moment the blonde's lips touched hers.
They had started something that evening. Their romantic and that was often there between them turned into something real. They still had to hide most of what they were doing for the other members — even though Mina knew one hundred percent sure that Jihyo and Nayeon had figured them out long time ago, maybe even Jeongyeon too — and the staff. But at least they didn't have to hide their feelings for each other anymore. They could confide in each other like never before and it had made her feel weirdly liberated. She had finally understood why people called a relationship the best thing that could happen to you.
Mina had even introduced Momo to her parents.

They had been happy. For a while, at least. Mina still didn't understand what had happened. From one day to the other, Momo had called everything off. She had broken up with Mina by a text, telling her she didn't love her anymore. That this was all just a fling. That she just needed to hold someone for a while — which had been Mina — and that she was fine now, ready to be on her own again. She didn't need her anymore.
Mina had been heart broken. The other members had no clue why she was often full days absent, alone in her room after that. Not reading a book or watching a drama or whatsoever, but... just staring at the ceiling. She cried, yes, but not while the others were near or in the house. She couldn't afford to let them worry about her, nor would she be strong enough to tell them it was nothing. She'd break down in front of them so she didn't want that. Mina cried easily and often, but she didn't want to make them worried. Not really. Momo had been fine, she acted fine as ever, and she had to be too.
Mina couldn't eat or drink. She would've gotten ill if Jihyo hadn't brought a plate of food in her room at least once a day. Oh, what was she thankful for her beautiful leader right now. But back then, she hated her for interrupting her in her misery and self-pity.
Seeing Momo getting along with her new best friend Jeongyeon so well broke her heart even more. After two weeks of shutting herself out of the group, she slowly had started to rejoin the groups activities. Watching a movie together, playing a game, going out, that kind of stuff. But every time she went out, she wished she had gotten back in. Momo was always there. Acting as if never happened. No, that's not entirely true. She completely ignored Mina or her existance. That was the only thing that had changed. Instead of being all cuddly with Mina, she was cuddly with Jeongyeon. Mina had felt only numbness back then. She had long given up on their relationship.
One time, she saw Nayeon longingly looking at Jeongyeon and Momo too. They catched eyes and exchanged a look of understandence.

One comeback, another hairstyle and a few months later, Mina had gotten over Momo. At least, she had told herself that she was. Mina didn't cry anymore because of Momo or felt jealous or sad if she and Jeongyeon acted up once more. But in reality, she still thought of the way Momo's lips brushed over hers like she was the most beautiful thing the blonde — now a brunette — has ever seen every night. It felt like an incurable desease.
Momo had stopped with ignoring her completely. They had small-talks every once and then. It was more meaningless than a discussion about the weather, but Mina was glad they could act normal again. She knew the members were relieved too, because even young Tzuyu and Chaeyoung had noticed that something was terribly off between the two Japanese girls. They used to be so close, and from one day to another, it all changed. Mina had never told any of the members what had really happened; that'd stay a secret, a mystery to be unsolved.
They wouldd never grow together like they once had done. They'd never touch each other's arm again without thinking of those few months where it was more than platonically. And Mina was fine with that. They had had a good time, right?
Maybe it was good that TWICE had a three-yeared dating ban. She'd be able to get over Momo without experiencing the hearbreak of seeing her girl with someone else.

Until last night.

The members had been all out. At least, those who were old enough to go out. Tzuyu and Chaeyoung had decided to see a movie in the cinema. Mina had politely refused to the offers of both groups to go join them. She didn't like going out and she had already seen Finding Dory — thank God for the people who illegally put freshly aired movies online — so she decided to stay home for the evening. A bit of rest from her always loud members was something she could defenitely use.
Mina had been watching her drama that night on the big screen of their communual television — which was something she would never have been able to r do when the members were there, because they all had their own shows that of course aired at the same time — and had treated herself on some popcorn.
Little did she know that she'd get an unexpected visitor that night.

It was about midnight when Mina had decided to call it a day. She left the lights and heater on, but turned everything else off, since Chaeyoung and Tzuyu would probably come home in an hour or something. Even though Mina wouldn't be there anymore to greet them, it was still more welcome to come home in a warm and lighted house than in a dark cold one.
Mina had been just clearing everything from the table when she heard the door slam open. There, surprisingly, had been no sound, which had alarmed Mina a bit. It was only the front door that had banged open, but she hadn't heared happy chit-chat from the hall. From her position in the kitchen, she could neither see who it was.
"Chaeng? Tzuyu? Are you back already?" she had asked, raising her voice a bit. Mina had waited for a moment, but still no sound. She had decided to go see who it was, leaving the dishes forgotten in the sink. At that moment, it started to creep her out pretty badly. She had never been really scared for horror movies but being in a real life one wasn't on her to-do list.
Slowly, she walked over to the living room. She heard things moving, a soft curse from a voice that she had long forgotten to love.
Before Mina could open te door to the hallway, someone stumbled out. Her eyes had widened a little bit by the sight of a drunken Momo.

There was nothing left of the sweet giggly blonde that Mina had always known. Her eyes had been darkened with an expression that scared her but also turned her on at the same time; her pink lips had been slightly parted; she seemed like she had run for a couple of miles, her hair had been ruffled up, Momo had been panting slightly and her black bomber jacket had hung loosely from her shoulders. Mina could smell the stench of the alcohol from here.
"Where are the others?" Mina had asked softly. An uncomfertable feeling had crept upon her and she had looked down to the ground, rubbing her lower arm softly. "I can get you some water and an asperine. It's best if you go to bed, then you won't have a hangover tomorrow because we have a busy scedule tomorrow and-"
"I don't want to."
Momo had spoken without a lisp, but had switched from Korean to Japanese. Mina had jerked her head up in confusement. Momo had looked at her.. no, stared at her, with an almost hungry look. Mina, transfixed by those big eyes, couldn't — or hadn't wanted to — look down anymore.
Her heartbeat had risen and she had caught her lower lip between her teeth to keep herself from saying stupid things like: "What do you want then?" Because she damn well had thought to know what was happening. And she had been hella into it.
"I want you."
Momo had never let her eyes falter from Mina's.
"Tzuyu and Chaeyoung are home and-" she had tried, also going over in Japanese, but Momo had chuckled lowly. Her voice had dropped a few octaves and Mina had found herself holding her breath.
"They're not. I don't see their shoes nor their coats."
, there went her escape plan. It wasn't like she didn't want Momo anymore. It was more that her concience was playing a huge part now. What would happen if they did stupid things? Momo wasn't thinking rationally with that much alcohol in her body. Both of them would reget it the next morning...
Then why had her stomach twisted in a sweet way that she hadn't felt in a long time. And why had her hands been aching to wrap themselves around Momo's neck and her lips aching to kiss hers again? Why?
"You want me too."
Spot on. Momo had always been able to directly see through Mina's closed-off attitude. She used to love it that only Momo could understand her, but now it was a huge burden. She had wanted her so badly, yes, but she was able to contain herself... for now. If Momo went on, she might snap and she didn't want that. So she had shaken her head, had tried to get Momo off her back.
"I don't," she had muttered softly. "You made your intentions very clear a few months ago."
Momo had now let her jacket fully slide from her shoulders, not even bothering to pick it up. It had fallen on the ground and she had stepped closer to Mina. She had let out a shaky breath she didn't even know she was holding and bit her lip harder.
"You do..." Momo had said, pronouncing every word with care. Mina had gulped. The blonde had stepped even closer, until they were only a meter apart. Her lips had been slightly parted, leaving some of her perfect white teeth bare to be seen. The tip of her tongue had peeked through. She had been so close it made Mina break out in a sweat. She had clenched her hands into fists, trying to keep herself from stupid things. Why did Momo have to make it so hard for her? God damn, she had wanted to kiss that face so badly.
She had almost replied: "Yes, I do." She had contained herself once more, but it was getting harder every second.

Mina had shuddered when Momo had reached out and had touched her neck. Her hand had been cold, probably because it had been snowing outside, which made it even worse. She had felt like she was burning.
Momo had let the tip of her tongue slowly run over her lips and that almost had made Mina faint. When had been the last time she did that because of her? She couldn't remember, but she had remembered the feeling at had made her feel. She had started to feel that fire again. She didn't want to. Oh, how she wished she could just turn her back towards her old lover and walk away as if she didn't feel a burning desire to kiss Momo furiously. She had wanted to kiss her so badly, to make her regret her decision to break their relationship off. She had wanted to make Momo beg for her and her love. She had wanted to be desired, to be loved. Only by Momo. And now she finally had Momo before her, wanting her again. It suddenly felt wrong to hold back.
"I never stopped loving you..." Momo had mumbled. Mina's eyes had widened, but that's all she had done. Her mind couldn't even process what was happening right now. She had stayed quiet.
Momo's eyes had moved away from hers and pointed them at her lips for a long second. The tip of her thumb had slowly carassed the edges of , tracing their ways to her lips. Mina had tried to pretend she wasn't by that at all, but her shaky breaths and trembling body had betrayed her.
Momo's gaze had saddened. She had bitten down on her lower lip and had wanted to take her hand back, but Mina had caught it with hers and kept it in her neck to cup her cheek.
" it..." she had whispered, before she lost control of herself.

Their lips had crashed down upon each other in the heath of fury and lust. Mina had let her mind go blank, because she had been sure that she'd pull back if she started thinking again. In times like these, 'not thinking' was the best option. She had been already doing stupid things, at least she could let herself enjoy it as long as it lasted.
Momo hadn't hesitated to kiss her back. In fact, it had only been a few seconds before Mina's foreward action had been used against her. She had been pressed up against a wall with slight force. A gasp had left when her back hit the hard brick wall, but Momo hadn't paid attention to that. She had used Mina's slightly opened mouth as an excuse to bring in her tongue. Mina hadn't been embarassed to moan when she tasted the alcohol that Momo had purchased that evening. In fact, it had made it even hotter.
She had thrown her arms around the elder's neck to pull her even closer. A good shiver had gone down her spine when she felt Momo's still cold hands creep under her sweater, to place themselves at her hips. Mina couldn't help herself to buck her hips up against hers, increasing the beginning heath that had started to form between her legs.

A heated moan — that had been a mixture between Momo's name and 'Hmmm' — had left her lips when Momo went over from her lips to her neck, placing deep kisses on her most sensitive spots. She had wrapped her legs around Momo's waist and her eyes had fluttered shut once more. Mina's fingers had been tangled in Momo's blonde locks, trying to pull her closer. Because even though Momo's body was fully pressed up against hers now, she still felt like it wasn't close enough.
Momo's lips had moved from her neck to her collarbone. They had lowered until the they found the collar of her sweater, then stopped. Mina opened one of her eyes to look at what she was doing, because she desperately had needed her to move on.
"I want you, now," Momo had breathed in a husky voice. Only that voice would've been enough to drive Mina over the edge right there and then.
"Do it," Mina had answered, with no hesitation. She had hoped her voice would've sounded y too, but it sounded more like a squeeky mouse. Momo had looked up to her. For a moment all they did was both just stare and breathe.

Then Momo's lips had found hers again and they continued. But while Mina had thought the first thing Momo was going to do was take off her shirt, she felt her hand slide inside her shorts. Mina gasped of surprise.

Mina had never been more glad to have stayed at home.

She slowly exhaled through . The corners of pulled themselves up into a lazy smile, eyes still closed. It was warm underneath the thick blankets of Momo's bed, so Mina let her chest unbared. Thank God Momo had left her bra on last night. She had never been quite fond of being completely bare and Momo hadn't even tried to touch it. The fact that she remembered that even whilst being drunk was actually very cute.
Mina reached out for Momo, let her hands go over the sheets. She had always been a cuddly person and she craved for the brunette's arms around her again. Maybe she had missed that even more than the hot .
"Momoring~" Mina mumbled, when she couldn't find anything. "Where are you?"
She sat up straight, covering her partly nacked body with the sheets. Her head turned in all directions, looking for the girl she was so in love with, but there was nothing. Only her clothes that were scattered across the ground, while she knew she had taken off quite some garments off Momo too. Only then Mina heard some dimmed voices coming from the livingroom. Her eyes widened a bit. , the other members.
"Momo?" she asked again, a bit quieter, but still no response.
Mina bit down on her lip and held in a sigh. She let herself fall back onto the pillows and lifted her legs. She kicked a few times firmly the bottom of the upper bunk. She even lifted the matress, but there was no sign of Momo's roommate; Jeongyeon. Thank God for that too. Because if Jeongyeon would've found out that they had slept together, she would hear a life time of teasing comments and jokes. Jeongyeon had probably fallen asleep in someone else's bed. It was typically something for the short-haired jokester to forget which room was hers and to just fall asleep with another member. Ten bucks it was Nayeon. Fifteen if Momo and Mina weren't the only one with a little fun last night.

Now that she knew the room was safe, she kicked off the sheets and stepped out of bed. Mina quickly grabbed her clothes and put them back on. They felt dirty and sweaty, what shamingly reminded her her activities last night. Her sweater smelled like Momo. She took a look in the mirror to fix her messy hair, but it was almost impossible to fix it just with her hands, so she grabbed one of Momo's bands and put her hair in a loose ponytail.
Mina sighed and mentally prepared herself for the teasing of the other members. They used to be very discreet, but even a drunken person would've been able to puzzle out what had happened last night. Mina was almost completely sure that the members who had gone out hadn't returned until after they had fallen asleep, but she wasn't so sure about Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. Mina had seen the clock when they finally laid next to eachother; a quarter past two in the morning. A movie that started at half past 10 defenitely didn't last until two o'clock; they must've come home while they were... ing...
With slightly red cheeks she opened the door of Momo's bedroom and peeked her head out. Most of the members were probably still asleep, because only Chaeyoung, Tzuyu and Jihyo seemed to be up. Jihyo looked more dead than alive though; probably a hangover. With a cup of damping coffee she sat at the kitchen table, with her head in her hands. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu looked just fine though, both lazing around on the huge couch watching TV quietly. When Mina walked past to the kitchen, Chaeyoung looked up and chuckled softly. Mina looked around and Chaeyoung made a face and grinned, which made Mina's cheeks colour even redder and she quickly walked off to the kitchen.

Jihyo didn't even look up when Mina entered.
"Where's Momo?" she asked instantely. Jihyo made a whiny sound before she spoke.
"She's getting us asparines. She just left," their leader mumbled. Mina's eyes widened. She furrowed her eyebrows.
"Which supermarket?" she asked. Jihyo lifted her head a bit and looked at her minor with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.
"If you need something, just text-"
"Ji-Soo, please," Mina interrupted. Jihyo rolled her eyes, giving up already. It was clear the younger blonde really needed to get to Momo and she wasn't the person to stop her.
"To the convenience store around the corner," she eventually said. Mina smiled weakly at gave her a quick kiss on her head. Jihyo just whined again and swatted the blonde away. Mina immediately ran off towards the hall to slip in her sneakers.
"What are you going to do?" Tzuyu's voice sounded from the livingroom.
"To the conveniece store."
"Can we tag along?" Chaeyoung chimed in.
"No," Mina spoke harshly. She heard some chuckles and a soft 'I told you so' from Chaeyoung. God damn those minors.

She ran off without a coat or keys. It was cold outside. Despite the fact that it had stopped snowing, the temperature was still near zero degrees and Mina was freezing. Last night's snow had packed itself on the pavement, making her leave footprints as she walked by. There was a slight breeze, that made a shiver run down her spine. She wrapped her arms around her body, already regretting that she didn't bring a coat with her.
But she kept walking. Why? She didn't exactly know. Mina just had this feeling that something was wrong, that she needed to get to Momo. Back when they had been dating, Momo would never leave the bed without telling her or waking her up. She'd always stay and cuddle, because Hirai Momo was actually a great cuddler. They once stayed in bed until two in the afternoon. Momo wouldn't leave her like that without saying anything, even to get the other members asparines. She just hoped it was nothing. Maybe she was just overthinking everything. Or maybe she was hoping too much. People slept together after breaking up without it meaning anything, right? Maybe Momo had just wanted a good ... Still, she went on.

The convenience store was right around the corner. Due to the early hour — it turned out to be only nine o'clock — there was barely anyone on the street. Nobody saw the worrying blondine without a coat, trying to make her way as fast as possible to the store without slipping on the thin layer of ice that had formed on the side walk this night.
Mina bit down on her lip to keep it from shivering. She entered the shop. Immediately, she was greeted by the warmth of the radiator. Mina exhaled relieved and let her arms drop from her body. For a moment she just stayed there, enjoying the feeling of the warmth on her skin, but then she remembered why she came here in the first place and started looking for Momo.
The convenience store wasn't big. It was like a local tiny supermarket, but Mina still had to seek efficientely. The shelves were taller than she was — they almost reached the ceiling — so she couldn't look over them to spot Momo. She randomly turned in an aisle and started searching.
There weren't many people in the store yet, but those few who were, looked weirdly at her. Of course, a girl in shorts, a sweater, sneakers and no coat was a little weird, especially if she almost bumped you over because she ran past you. Mina walked down every aisle, but she couldn't find her brunette, which made her an extra bit nervous.
She just wanted to leave the store again, when she saw a certain person in front of the counter to pay for her asparines. Mina let out a breath she didn't know she was holding when she saw her friend... girlfriend, whatever. She walked up to Momo when she was done paying.
"Momoring~" she exclaimed. She saw the brunette stir for a moment before she looked up, clearly startled. A small chuckle left Mina's mouth. Momo blinked a few times shocked.
"You startled me," she mumbled. Mina smiled and hooked her arm through Momo's. The brunette looked at her but Mina didn't respond. Instead, she placed her head on Momo's shoulder. It was a bit hobbly while walking but it wasn't bad. It made her feel better, in fact.

They left the convenience store together. But almost as soon as they stepped outside, Momo wiggled her shoulder to get Mina to lift up her head. Momo took her arm back and placed her hands in her pocket instead. Momo speeded up her pace, leaving Mina a few steps behind. A little confused Mina looked up, trying to catch up again. She placed her hand on Momo's shoulder again to make her slow down, but the brunette ignored it and kept on walking.
"Momo, wait up. What's wrong?" she asked concerned. Momo shook her head slightly and refused to look at her.
"It's better not to, Mina," she only said, before continueing her fast pace.
"What?" Mina muttered. "What are you saying?"
Momo took a deep sigh and lifted her eyes up to the sky for a moment. She let her teeth bite down on her lower lip for a moment before speaking.
"It's best if we do not continue this. It's better if I leave now," she said. Even though Momo had spoken slowly, Mina still blinked a couple of times of confusement. She opened to say something, but nothing would come out. What? What did Momo mean? It felt like her heart stopped beating.
"A-are you going to leave me again?"
Her voice was already quivering and shaking. Mina's throat was clenched to hold in the upcoming tears. Damn, she hated herself when she cried in situations like these.
"It's for the best," Momo simply said. It felt like a slap in the face. The only thing she could do was stare.

Her disbelief suddenly changed in pure hopelessness, that converted into anger. Mina clenched her hands into fists.
"Are you ing kidding me?" she breathed. "You're not going anywhere until we-"
Momo didn't even look around to meet her gaze.
"What? Am I not even allowed to walk home alone?" she asked nonchalantly. Mina's cheeks turned red of anger.
"That's not what I ing meant, Moguri, and-"
"Don't call me that." 
Mina let out a heated breath and gritted her teeth together.
"Whatever. Just stay here, please," Mina said, although it sounded harsher than she meant it to be. She really wanted Momo to stay. Mina grabbed Momo's hand, but she shook it off immediately.
"I really have to go. The members need their aspirines," Momo said quickly. Mina slowed down a few passes. Momo just kept wlaking, leaving her behind. Her anger had left her body rather quickly and was replaced by sadness. Seeing Momo leave like that was truly achening. She wanted to be so badly with her, to rebuild their previous relationship. Only now she realized how much she had missed Momo. and she had thought that she had her back again, but it all turned out to be in vain. How could she be so stupid?
But Mina was not planning on letting Momo go away again. It felt like she was living in a déja-vu; Momo was again leaving her behind without a proper reason. She was just plain up ignoring her, telling her to get lost. Last time she was too overpowered to talk back or to get her to stay. But this time she wouldn't let her go that easily. Not when she gave her false hope. Not when she made her heart beat with a new purpose again. At least not without a proper reason.

Mina ran after Momo and grabbed her hand, making her turn around with some force.
"Take ownership of your actions," she hissed. Momo blinked surprised, probably the first time seeing Mina this angry. And oh damn, she was angry. Mina might be a little shy, but that didn't mean that Momo could do whatever the she wanted.
"We used to be fine, we were happy and then suddenly you shut me out! You didn't even give me a reason why you left! It has been months and I finally was working up to get over you but then suddenly you turn up, drunk as hell, kiss me and sleep with me. How the can you not even acknowledge that you did that, Momo? How can you just push away everything that has happened last night? You told me you still love me. Does that mean nothing to you?" Mina breathed hot-heatedly.
Momo moved her eyes away uncomfertably. She let her head turn towards the ground, so her brown strans of hair hid her face a little bit. Mina still had her fingers wrapped around her wrist and she noticed she was pinching. She softened her grip, but still held on in case Momo decided to take a run for it.
There was a silence.
"Believe me that I wanted us to work, but-" she started, but Mina let an angry breath escape through her teeth.
"That's bull, and you know it. You were happy. I was happy. We were secretive but happy and you threw that all away. And I want an explanation. I want an explanation why you so needlessly needed to break my heart.. now," she interrupted the brunette. Momo looked up and bit her lower lip, like Mina does all the time.
"I never meant to break your heart, Mina..." 
Momo's voice sounded small. It threw her off a little, because she had never seen her ex-girlfriend so vulnerable. Though, Mina could not be more glad. At least she knew she was taken seriously right now. Mina pressed her lips upon each other until they formed a thin line.
"Well... you did. And you knew," she said. Her voice had turned softer too. She was still mad, oh she really was. But how could she act mad when Momo was on the edge of tears?
"I did..." Momo admitted. "I knew exactly how you felt."
"Then why did you leave me? I don't understand it.." Mina said. Momo lifted up her eyes to meet Mina's gaze for a second, then she turned away again.
"It was a stupid decision.. Whatever we had is gone anyway. We can never fix it like before," Momo said, shaking her head. Mina felt that she was already closing up again. Her fingers pinched her wrist again, to keep her with her. She needed Momo to be open now, she needed the real Momo to be with her.
"We don't have to, we can rebuild it into something better," she said. The hopefulness sounded through her voice clearly and Mina immediatlly regretted saying that. She didn't want Momo to know exactly how much she wanted to have her with her again.
Again, Momo shook her head.
"We can't," she said sharply.
Mina let go of her wrist in surprisement.
"What? Why not?" she asked. Momo looked away and carelessly shrugged for a moment. Her teeth digged into her lower lip again. Mina's hand reached up to Momo's neck.
"What's going up inside there?" she asked softly. "Don't shut me out, Momo. Why can't we do this again? The members? Damn, I think Jeongyeon has been shagging Nayeon long before we started. Jihyo isn't that close minded that she'll throw us out, she'll care for us. The high schoolers are even more openminded than we are. JYP will never find out about it, they don't care abuot us that way. Only if we'd snog right in public they'd care, but we are smarter than that. We have no one to fear about."
Momo sighed troubled and frowned her eyebrows.
"It's not just JYP, or the members... I don't think I can-.. Never mind, it's nothing," Momo mumbled. Mina frowned her eyebrows and gripped her neck a slightly more insistent.
"That you can, what? Don't shut me out like that, please don't," she said, almost pleading. Momo blinked a few times with her eyes and took a deep shaky breath.
"I'm not good enough for you, Mina, I never was and I never will be."
Momo's voice sounded sharp and hard, like she had already formed her opinion and wasn't planning on letting Mina change it. The only thing she could do was just stare at her. This was the biggest piece of she had ever heard. Momo tried to look away again, but Mina kept her locked in her grip. She isn't usually like that, but she really wasn't planning on letting Momo go. Mina made sure Momo looked back up to her.
"Let me be the judge of that, okay?" she said quietly. Momo 's lower lip quivered and she let out a tiny breath. Mina rubbed with her thumb over Momo's skin, to ease her a little bit. The brunette was almost shaking.
"I can't do this if everyone is hating us, Mina..." she said quietly. Mina shook her head, not understanding.
"Who is hating us? I told you, the members would never do that. JYP will never find out. Your mom was okay with it, she said it herself. The only people who might be a bit uncooperative are my pa-..."
Suddenly all the pieces fell together.
Mina's eyes widened and fell open. She frowened her eyebrows. Momo looked away, a little ashamed. She suddenly remembered how they had broken up only a week after they came back from Mina's place.
"You're scared of my family..." Mina said softly. Momo sighed and didn't reply. She let her face relax a little bit and sighed, just like Momo did. She let her hand go from Momo's neck, which made the other girl look up for a moment. Instead, she loosely wrapped them around Momo's waist, pulling her in for a hug. It took her a few moments to react, but eventually she found the brunette's arms around her neck nevertheless. Mina nuzzled her face in the crook of Momo's neck and exhaled slowly.
"You know, I have been cross with my parents for years now... I have struggled with my uality since I was 15 years old. I have struggled with my parents since 16. Our relationship has been troubled for years already," she started. Mina felt Momo tense a little, but the brunette didn't let her go.
"My dad has always been strictly against same- relationships. To find out his only daughter, one that was supposed to become a national ballet dancer, didn't live up to his expectations.. I don't think he ever was the same after that. We used to be together all the time, but after that he just ignored me. He didn't say good morning to me anymore or wished me good night. He didn't support me when I wanted to become an idol nor liked it when I came home for a few weeks. I loved him, and I still love him. But he's a jerk."
"You shouldn't call him that way," Momo mumbled softly.
"He manipulated you into thinking you're not good enough for me, that our love is wrong. He ignored me for years. He once told someone he didn't has a daughter. I learned to live with it, but I won't let my first love be taken away from me just because he doesn't approve. He can't hurt us, I'll make sure of that. Don't you think I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't know for sure that I could give everything to this relationship? If I would be scared of my dad, I would have never kissed you back, Momo. I'm not scared and neither should you. Please, don't turn your back on me because of something stupid like my dad."
Mina's voice had gotten softer and more emotional with every word she spoke. At least she knew what had been bothering Momo then. Their trip to her parents hadn't been pleasant for both of them, but Mina had wanted her parents to meet her girlfriend. Little did she know that Momo was so selfless to end their relationship so her parents would like her again. If only Momo had known then that her parents were never going to love her like the once used to.
"Mina..."
Momo's voice sounded exactly like hers. It seemed like she was on the edge of tears. Mina pressed her body closer towards Momo's. Only now she noticed how cold she actually was. Her passion and adrenaline had shut out any other feeling during their discussion, but now that she was done talking, she noticed how her toes almost froze off. She shivered.
"Or.. if you really don't love me anymore and yesterday was just a rebound, then I guess-"
Momo freed herself from Mina's grip and looked strictly at the shorter girl. She cupped Mina's cold cheeks with her equally cold hands, lifting her head up and making her look in those deep brown eyes Mina had once fallen so hard for.
"Don't talk like that. I do still lo-... You were not a rebound," Momo said insistent. Mina swallowed. She couldn't help it to hold her breath a little.
"Then prove it," she breathed. Momo let the tip of her tongue run over her lower lip for a moment. Their eyes locked and Mina's heartbeat went up again. This time not of anger or lust but of actual excitement. She was excited for what Momo was going to do. She was excited for anything that was going to happen after today. She was excited to re-start her life again, this time with Momo by her side.
Momo didn't pull her hands away from her cheek. In fact, they moved over to her neck, softly the sensitive places had been all over yesterday night. It was a nerve wracking moment.
Eventually, Momo bowed forward. Slowly, inch by inch. They never looked away and Mina wished she was faster but Momo had always been careful. She had always asked for permission and always checked if Mina really wanted this. Right now she just wanted Momo to kiss her.
Mina lost her patience rather quickly. Her hand grabbed the back of Momo's neck swiftly and pushed her closer until their lips met. Momo let out a moan and Mina couldn't help it to love her even more. The kiss was better than any kiss they had ever shared before. It was as sweet and tender as it used to be, with her lips slowly moving over each other and Momo's hand hand in her neck. But it also contained a hint of desperateness. It felt like they hadn't seen eachother for a thousand years and needed to catch up with this one kiss. They wanted each other, they needed each other, they wanted to feel each other. And oh damn, this was the best kiss she had ever shared with someone.
They eventually had to end it. For Mina it wouldn't have made a difference; she'd either faint because of a lack of oxygen or because of Momo's lips were upon hers. They were both gasping for air, never far from each other. Eventually, Momo bowed back all the way and mina couldn't help it to pout her lips for a moment. The brunette smiled by the sight of that and zipped open her coat. She hung it over Mina's shoulders. Thankfully, she placed her arms in the sleeves.
"Let's go home. We still need to take care of those drunks back home," she said. Mina let a chuckle escape . She hooked her harm through Momo's and smiled up to her.
"We're literally the only adults around here, aren't we?" Mina said. Momo chuckled and ruffled through her blonde hair, before pressing a kiss on her head.