Hanbin + 1

He was always shy around women, and I found that endearing, but when he was with me, Hanbin changed a little. We were not together, but we liked each other and we both somehow knew it, it was just a matter of time before one of us would get the balls to do something about it.

Our relationship was pretty casual and I liked that, I had no problem with being a mess in front of him, he knew me well, he knew that he needed to get used to that for me to be comfortable around him.

He always came to me when he needed help with his lyrics and we spent lots of nights eating take-out and brainstorming ideas, I was already used to having him around. He always had a change of clothes over and a toothbrush, that I encouraged him to bring after he spent 3 days in a row at my place.

First, he was shy, he would sit in the same place for hours, never even saying he wanted some water or maybe food, but soon he started relaxing, he would find his place on the floor near the coffee table, would make tea after the first hour of sharing ideas and would always bring snacks and order food for me.

Everyone knew we were best friends and we called each other that even if, in all honesty, we were not best friends at all. We would share ideas and talk about daily things but we never insisted on finding out things from each other’s past, maybe because we never had alcohol together, who knows?

Tonight, I asked Hanbin to come later, saying I was meeting someone for dinner, he didn’t say anything, besides the fact that he will be there.

Actually, I had a date. Nothing fancy or anything but one of my friends was tired of me laying around all alone and sad so she tried hooking me up with a friend of her boyfriend’s. He was nice, handsome, warm, we held good conversation and he was funny even, but I couldn’t see myself at his side to be honest, it seemed like he was pretty flawless and I didn’t think I could live up to that standard, I needed someone to understand that I am a sloppy, unorganised, weird person who can sleep 3 hours or 28 depending on mood, someone who did not expect me to dress prettily every day to meet them, someone who wouldn’t make me feel self-conscious for ordering pasta at a restaurant because I like eating it without the help of the spoon and it gets messy. He was just not Mr. Right.

“I had a lot of fun tonight Y/N, can we maybe do this again sometime soon?” he looked at me and I caught myself staring into his eyes for a minute. He was handsome, and his eyes sparkled as he looked at me.

Interpreting my longing stare as an invitation, Hyunwoo leaned in and before I could say anything he pecked my lips playfully and touched the tip of his nose to mine. I was frozen in my spot and couldn’t form words.

“Hyunwoo-shi...I…” he smiled at me and pushed my hair behind my ears.

“I know I made you tense, I was trying to not come across as too laid back so you would think I wasn’t interested but that was not my intention. I thought my friend was trying to hook me up with another stuck up girl, but unexpectedly, for once, he chose well.”

Why wasn’t I saying anything? Idiot. Move!

“Noona?” Perfect. I pushed Hyunwoo’s hands aside, and we both turned towards Hanbin that was just standing there with his hands full of bags.

“Hanbin-ah, hello,” I said, running over to help him with the bags.

“This is my dongsaeng, Hanbin, Hanbin, this is Hyunwoo-shi.” Hanbin bowed but didn’t give Hyunwoo much attention.

“Should we leave this for another day noona?” he was looking at me with a look of bitterness and disappointment.

“No Hanbin, I was saying goodbye to Hyunwoo-shi anyway, come on, let’s go inside.”

Hyunwoo gave me a surprised look while I bowed and apologized randomly before going inside.

Hanbin put the bags down and took his shoes off quickly, heading to the kitchen. It was usually 9 pm, the time when Hanbin was almost done having his tea.

“Hanbin, do you need any help?”

“I’m fine,” he said from the kitchen. I went in the kitchen nonetheless, I needed a glass of water. While I was drinking I could feel Hanbin’s eyes on me.

“You look pretty”

“Do I?” I said blushing lightly.

“Yes, I’ve never seen you wear a dress before.” Yeah, that’s right, this is one of the few times Hanbin has ever seen me out of my sweatpants. The dress I was wearing was pastel pink, hugging my curves and going mid thigh.

“You’re right. Well, the restaurant was pretty fancy, I couldn’t have worn jeans. I’ll go change, be right back.”

He didn’t say anything, he just looked at me for a second before turning his eyes to the teapot.

Hanbin was acting strange, out of place. I’ve been on blind dates before, he never reacted to any of it but this time, it seemed to bother him.

Going back to the living room, I saw Hanbin setting the tea on the table. I walked over and sat across from him at the small coffee table.

He looked at my clothes then smiled.

“You look pretty in dresses but sweat pants are your thing.” I chuckled and we started working.

30 minutes later

“Hanbin, why are all of your lyrics so dark today? I mean...it’s good but it’s kind of depressing.” he looked at me and bit his lip, avoiding my eyes.

“It’s just my mood.”

“Something happened at work?”

“No, today was just..blank.”

“Oh, okay. Do you wanna have something sweet to cheer you up? Works for me!”

“Y/N.” well that was a first, Hanbin never called me by my first name, he always called me noona. I looked at him with questioning eyes.

“Yes?”

“Do you like him a lot?”

“Who?”

“Hyu...whatever his name was.” I laughed a little but he sat in front of me and I could tell he felt tense.

Unconsciously, I borrowed his facial expression. It seemed wrong to treat this like a joke when he was clearly serious.

“He was nice.” his eyes lowered.

“You seemed breathless when he kissed you.”

“You...you saw that?It was just a peck, nothing much really, he only…”

“Nothing much?” his voice was heavy and dark, what was going on?

“Well...yes, I mean…”

“6 Months. I’ve been running circles around you for 6 months, hoping you would notice me and he took you out once, you dressed up for him and let him steal a kiss from you...psch...you call it nothing, but it burned my eyes, I thought I won’t be able to breathe again, I’ve heard about your dates before but I thought…I thought you went out of obligation and because you were thankful to your friends, but you actually enjoyed it.” Not once did he look at me.

“Hanbin…I…”

“I should go.” he got up faster than expected and headed for the door, without grabbing anything he came with, he left his phone on the table and his backpack on the couch.

Before I could register, my body moved towards him and I grabbed his hand, only to find myself pinned against the door with him hovering above me.

“Did you ever think of me as more than a dongsaeng? Did you ever,just for a little bit, think of me as a man?” he asked looking straight into my eyes, something Hanbin rarely did.

“Did I?” my answer discouraged him, I could feel his hold on me loosen with every moment.

“That was a stupid question Hanbin.” he was discouraged now, I could feel his shame and hurt. He let go of me and turned his back to me slowly. Knowing he misunderstood me, I hugged him from behind. I could feel him struggle a little, not wanting me to let go but wishing I would stop giving him hope.

“You’re an idiot Hanbin.” I said, burying my face in his shirt.

“I think I got that one down, I misunderstood you.” He said just above a whisper.

“Hanbin...could you…” the feeling of his warm body against me made me go crazy, at this point, I couldn’t understand how I spent so many nights with him and never spent the night WITH him.

“Noona, can you please let go?”

“Call me ‘noona’ again.” he froze, hearing my raspy voice mutter those words. Turning around, he looked into my eyes with curiosity and confusion.

“What?” grabbing a handful of his shirt, I pulled him against me as I backed away into the door.

“Call me noona again, Hanbin-ah.” his eyes widened, realisation hitting him.

“What are you doing noona?” he asked in a shaky voice. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, him whispering those words making me get excited.

“I’m waiting for the man in front of me to take the hint and get me Hanbin.” his eyes widened and unconsciously pulled me closer. Our faces got closer and soon, Hanbin started kissing me sloppily, in a hungry and desperate manner.

His hands made it to my hips and he gently raised my shirt running his hands on my back. I moaned loudly, bumping my hips into his, making him groan against my neck. I started moving my hips at a steady pace, having him pick it up shortly as we kissed and grinded slowly.

I took a second to remove his shirt and I could see his red, embarrassed face and his heavy breathing even more.

“Hanbin?” I whispered between short, sloppy kisses.

“Yes?” he stopped altogether, afraid he might not be able to focus on my words. I pulled my shirt over my head revealing my black sports bra and I could see Hanbin’s eyes focus on me while he kept swallowing visibly.

“Stop teasing me.” I said, pulling him closer by the hem of his pants and touching his lightly through his boxers.

“Noona!” he yelped, startled. I moaned against his chest again, hearing him call me that.

“...what is it Hanbin?” I breathed out, putting my hands around his neck.

“I can’t…I mean I don’t know...I shouldn’t…” he looked flustered and on the verge of panicking.

“You’ve never had before?” I said, slightly surprised. I thought he was sloppy and shy because it was unexpected but turns out he really was inexperienced.

“No...is that bad?” he muttered not looking at me.

“Hanbin, look at me.” his gaze shifted slowly.

“Yes?”

“What do you feel like doing right now?” he started fidgeting.

“Noona...I can’t…”

“Tell me, please…” I said, in a pleading manner.

“I want to…”

“You want to?”

“I want to make love to you…” he said, his whole face red and his heart beating like crazy.

“Do you?”

“Yes.” he said through shaky lips.

“Then touch me, take me to bed, get me and make love to me.” He couldn’t say anything else. Slowly, he started touching me, his shaky hands grabbing a fistful of my chest and rubbing it gently.

“More Hanbin…” I said as his lips made their way to the shell of my year. He ran a hand on my back, moving it lower until he reached my and he squeezed it roughly, pulling my hips against his. I moaned and caught his stare on my face.

“What is it?” I asked, almost out of breath.

“I love the look on your face, it gives me the chills.” I smirked and started kissing him again, making my way to the carpet and making him lay there. Soon, I pulled his pants down and took them off, caressing his legs and thighs in the process. He groaned and hid his face with his hands.

I started kissing his abdomen and chest slowly as I felt his eyes on me, and his clumsy hands trying to touch me but getting lost every couple of seconds when he felt my lips on his skin.

He unconsciously started tugging at my sweatpants.

“You want them off Hanbin?” I whispered into his ear before nibbling his ear.

“Please…” he whined. I got up, startling him and slowly started lowering my pants as he watched me. I could see him swallow harshly and his eyes begging me to touch him again as I lowered myself and straddled his hips. One second later, he was sitting, his hands on my hips as he began kissing my neck. Every time I bumped my hips into his, I could feel him getting harder and more impatient as his hands grabbed my roughly and guided me, ing intensely.

“Hanbin?”

“Yes noona?” he whispered, holding his forehead against mine.

“This is driving me crazy, I need you inside of me.” my words left him speechless. I didn’t give him the time to reply as I pushed him back and started kissing down his abdomen until I reached his boxers, pulling them down slowly as I kissed his hips and went lower. He was so caught up he didn’t even notice before he felt me him. He tried getting up as I pushed him back, lowering my face to kiss him while still him.

“Do you want me to stop?” I asked him, gripping harder onto him and him slowly.

“N...No...please…”

“Then would you trust me and let me make you feel good?” His  eyes could barely stay open as he nodded.

Lowering myself again, I pumped him a couple more times before taking him into my mouth. He jumped slightly in surprise, making it go deeper than I intended and reached his hand instinctively trying to stop me. He unconsciously grabbed onto my hair and pulled in the heat of the moment. I felt him letting go quickly.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that!” he said panicking a little. Without stopping, I grabbed his hand it into my hair and moving it slowly, showing him how to control my speed.

He seemed unsure but soon, started moving me trying his best not to grab my hair too tightly. I could feel him tense up, his grunts were muffled and he was on the verge of coming. I pushed down onto his hips with my thumbs and he ed into my mouth harshly, in my mouth.

I got myself up and swallowed my lips as I looked at him. He was a hot mess, laying there on my carpet, shaking slightly and breathing harshly.

“I’m sorry…” he said between breaths.

“What for?” I said, lowering my face, curious if he found it gross or would actually kiss me. He grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me harshly.

“For...you know...finishing so soon...I didn’t even get to...you know...I mean…” I chuckled and he straightened himself, looking at me embarrassed.

“We’re not done Hanbin, I am just giving you a moment to rest.” I said, looking him in the eyes and my lips slowly. I could see him hardening again, as he shyly tried covering himself. I pushed his hands aside slowly and kissed his lips.

“What could you possibly be embarrassed by?”

“It’s just...maybe you don’t like it...I mean….”

“You are incredibly y Hanbin, you shouldn’t shy away from me, confidence would make you ier.”

“I want to be confident, but what if I mess up, or do something you don’t like?”

“Impossible. Just like how I made you guide me to see what you like I am going to guide you.”

Looking at me for a second, he put his hands on my waist and took off my sports bra, slowly pushing me against the floor before starting to and nibble my s.

“God Hanbin, that feel so good!” I moaned, feeling him get even more confident. He slowly pulled down my boxers and kissed me. He was not very detailed, understandable for his first time, but I found his clumsiness y.

I parted my legs slightly, seeing his he didn’t seem to know what to do and I positioned him in front of my entrance. He looked at me nervously.

“Should I go slowly?”

“Hanbin?”

“Yes, noona?”

Without saying anything else, I gripped his hips with my thighs and pushed him inside of me in one sharp movement. He groaned and I moaned loudly, wishing I could just pin him there and the life out of him. He didn’t react for a couple of seconds before I started moving him slowly.

“That’s good Hanbin, go harder please.”

I could see him gaining his confidence back as he listened to my moans and started pushing harder. Soon, we were a mess, a sweaty, hot mess as he pinned my hips and started pumping inside of me, his forehead on my shoulder, breathing heavily onto my skin.

“God! Yes! me harder Hanbin”

Listening to my request, he started ing himself into me like crazy, biting onto my skin in the process as I dug my nails into his shoulders. Soon, I came holding onto my Hanbin, as he came inside of me soon after. He rolled from on top of me and grabbed my hand lightly, kissing the tips of my fingers.

“Did you like that noona?”

“Like? I loved it, you’re a natural Hanbin.” I said smiling, too tired to open my eyes.

“You won’t let anyone else touch you like that ever again, right noona? I’m gonna marry you soon.” I chuckled before looking his way.

“Only you Hanbin.”

“Good.” He said pleased, kissing my lips lightly.