Present time

 

My aimless wandering eventually led me to a deserted park. I found a bench and sank down heavily onto the seat. My tears had finally stopped and now my face felt tight because they had dried on my skin. I let my head drop down into my hands and groaned.

What had happened? We were going to have a lovely dinner, just the two of us. With me being so busy with iKON and her having tons of classes and assignments, we were hard pressed finding time to be alone.

Yes. Shelby had pretty quickly found out who I was. I had planned on telling her anyway, I had just wanted us to get a bit closer before I divulged my very large secret.

 

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It was on our third date when she brought up the subject. She showed me a picture of iKON on her phone and simply asked, "Is this you?"

I had at their stunned for a few moments, opening and closing my mouth with no sounds emerging. I probably looked like a stupid fish.

I finally jerked out a nod. "Y-yes. That is me." She just looked at me unquestioningly, and I hurriedly blurted out more words. "I'm sorry. I was going to tell you, I swear." I paused for a minute and looked down and bit the inside of my lip. "I just- I wanted to know you a little better first." I looked her in the eyes. "It's not just my secret."

Her face looked pretty relaxed. She showed no signs of anger which I thought was slightly weird but it also made me like her even more. Who else could boast that their girlfriend was so understanding, that she wouldn't even get mad about something as big as this? Answer: not very many people. I was somehow in that very small percentage of the population and it made me feel on top of the world.

After that night, Shelby and I became even closer. Now that she knew my secret, I didn't have to try to evade her questions about what I'd done and where I'd been during the day.

The other guys could tell that I seemed happier and it made them all curious. Bobby and Jinhwan had already been pretty sure that it was a girl I had gone to have dinner with that first night so they weren't as vocal asking me what was up and why I was smiling a lot more. 

I held them off for a few weeks, just shrugging it off and saying 'Nothing" in answer. Eventually though, I announced to the rest at supper one night that I had a girlfriend.

Bobby and Jinhwan just kind of smirked in triumph but the other four let out cheers and whistles much to my embarrassment. My face got hot from blushing which made everyone burst out laughing and I hid my face in my hands trying to hide my red cheeks.

After we had been together for six weeks, I invited Shelby over to the dorm to meet the guys. When I told them, they all got excited. 

"Finally! We get to see who you keep gushing over," Yunhyeong said, rolling his eyes.

"Hyung! Waaaee?" I moaned.

Jinhwan hushed Yunhyeong thankfully and I was able to continue explaining what I had planned for the evening Shelby was coming.

The day arrived and I was so nervous my hands kept sweating so I was having to constantly wipe them on my pants.

Bobby noticed and came up beside me and wrapped his arm over my shoulders. "Relax. It'll be fine. It's just dinner. Didn't you say she has two brothers?" I nodded. "So? What are you worrying for?" He knuckled my head and chuckled when I tried to escape from his hold.

Why was I worrying? These six were my family. Even though, they could act childish at times, they weren't cruel. They might tease me now and again after she left, but they wouldn't try to do anything too drastic while she was here.

When the knock came, I jumped up off the couch and took a deep breath before making my way to the door.

"Hi!" 

There she was. Tonight, she had on expensive looking jeans, a white top and a blue jean jacket. Black studded boots and a white beanie completed her outfit. She had apparently already taken off her thick outdoor coat because she was holding it in her hand. 

I stepped back, pulling the door open wider. "Come in." I smiled at her so hard I felt like my teeth might crack but I couldn't help it. She just looked so pretty.

She stepped inside and I gave her a pair of slippers to wear.

I led her into the living room and the guys immediately all stood up and bowed without me having to remind them.

I introduced the members one by one and Shelby bowed to them as I told her each name. 

"Welcome." Jinhwan took it upon himself to do this part because he was the eldest. "We hope you will have a lovely time this evening."

"Thank you." Shelby bowed again and then realized she was still wearing her beanie and snatched it off her head. Her hair fell down around her face and I looked away from her face when I heard gasps.

The others were standing there with their mouths wide open. I looked to where they seemed to be staring and let out a chuckle when I realized it was her hot pink hair that had their attention. She had had it all hidden in the hat so they hadn't seen it until she removed it. 

Shelby realized too, that her hair was attracting attention and she put her hand up self-consciously. "I'm sorry-" she started but I cut her off.

"It's fine. I just didn't tell them about your hair " -I looked around the group and made a slight face at them all- "because it never crossed my mind as something that I should mention."

The guys realized how rude they were being and quickly averted their gazes.

"Your hair is very pretty, Shelby-ssi," Chanwoo said, smiling at her.

Leave it to the maknae to be the first to find his tongue. I mentally thanked him.

"What is your age, Shelby-ssi?" Jinhwan asked.

"I was born August 15th, 1997."

I saw Jinhwan's eyes widen in surprise and I felt Bobby, who was standing beside me, stiffen. I turned a little, to look at Bobby. His eyes flickered to mine but then quickly looked away. He relaxed a second later so I just mentally shrugged and turned back.

"Wow, " Chanwoo said. "We're only a few months apart. May I call you noona?" He smiled charmingly at Shelby, and she smiled back at him.

"Of course. I would feel honored."

The others all told Shelby to call them oppa and she gave them a wide smile. She turned her smile on me. She looked happy and it made me feel happy.

 I really wanted this dinner to go well. They were my best friends and she was my girlfriend. I felt like my life was complete. 

I had iKON and we were doing well. I had six best friends that I got to live with, perform with, and work with. And I had her; this beautiful girl, who liked me for me. Not B.I, leader of iKON. But me, Kim Hanbin.

For the first time ever, I felt like my life was perfect.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Some distant honking pulled me back to the present and I realized I had let the past pull me back. I blew out my breath and stood up and stretched.

I pulled out my phone and gasped when I saw that it was 12:34 A.M. I must've been sitting there for 90 minutes or more. Bobby was going to kill me for staying out so late.

Sure enough, I had seven missed calls and 12 texts, all from Bobby. My phone had somehow been put on mute so I hadn't heard it ring or my text alerts. Great.

I looked at the texts. The oldest was from an hour ago and the latest ten minutes ago. They all said pretty much the same thing; where are you? It's late. Remember, we have to be in the studio early tomorrow.

I stuck my phone in my pocket, not bothering to text him back, and hurried out of the park. 

I was about twenty minutes away from the dorm if I ran, so that's what I did. After ten minutes, I stopped and caught my breath.

I looked up at the sky, but couldn't really see much, because of all the city lights of Seoul. It made me sad. I wished I was out in the country where I could look at the stars and where the moon would shine brightly. Shelby and I had driven out of Seoul numerous times to do just that. She had missed that from home, so about twice a month we would drive away and go and stargaze.

I resumed running and ten minutes later, I arrived at the dorm building and went inside. I nodded to the security guard on duty and pressed the elevator button. It arrived and I stepped in and pressed the button for the tenth floor.

I watched the numbers go higher and sighed again when I thought again about my failed evening. All I'd wanted was to have a nice supper with Shelby but nothing had gone as I had planned.

Supper! At the sudden thought, I glanced at my hands and realized they were empty. I collapsed against the back of the elevator and laughed. I didn't have the pizza so I must have left it sitting on the park bench.

I snorted, continuing to laugh crazily. Here I go and spend money on food and then don't eat anything. Now that I wasn't thinking so hard, I now felt my stomach's angry growling.

The elevator stopped at my floor and I stepped out. I walked down the hall and punched in the pass code to the dorm.

I opened the door as quietly as I could but as soon as I stepped out of the entryway and went to pass by the living room, I heard a throat clear and I stopped. Bobby.

I swallowed and turned to Bobby as he walked to the doorway. He folded his arms and glared at me.

"Where have you been?! It's 1:00 A.M!" Even though he was whisper-yelling, his anger was evident.

"I'm sorry, Hyung," I whispered back. My stomach chose just that moment to growl. Loudly.

Bobby snapped his gaze to my stomach and then stepped closer and looked me in the face. His glare softened and he took ahold of my arm and led me to the kitchen. 

He flipped the light on and guided me to a chair and gently pushed me into it. 

He grabbed something from a cupboard and then grabbed a saucepan and filled it halfway with water. He turned the stove on and placed the pot there. 

He finally turned around and looked at me. I closed my eyes and bowed my head. He had probably already seen it, but I didn't want him to see my tear-stained face in case he hadn't noticed it before. It had been pretty dark in the hallway.

He walked over and sat down across from me at the table. "What happened, Hanbin?" His voice was quiet but as soon as he spoke something snapped inside me and tears filled my eyes once again.

I covered my face with my hands and cried. I wasn't making any noise and I tried not to move. Suddenly a sob escaped my lips and I heard Bobby's chair squeak as he stood up.

Arms suddenly wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me close. I let my head fall onto his shoulder. More sobs tore through me and my body felt to heavy for me to hold up on my own anymore. I slumped against Bobby and he tugged until I slipped from the chair onto the floor.

He sat down too and just held me as I sobbed. He patted my back and made soothing noises. 

"It's okay, buddy. I'm here for you. It's okay." I heard him whisper these words into my ear and I cried harder, thankful that I had someone like Bobby, a true friend that would hold me when I cried.

 

 

 

 

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Here's the third part. I hope you all are enjoying my story. Since part of this happened already, I am writing about it so everyone knows what was in the past. After a certain time, the story will continue in the present.

Please comment and let me know your thoughts. Thanks for reading!!