Jinwoo spent the next week in a daze. Since that eventful night, Mino had been avoiding him like the plague. It was weird navigating university by himself. He hadn’t realized how much he had come to view Mino’s presence as a constant in the midst of the fast-paced academic environment. No one chased him down the quad anymore. No one passed him inappropriate notes in biology class. No one tagged him in the comments sections of the secrets on their college confession page. It was weird. Jinwoo felt emptier than he had felt in years.

The central quad was filled with students lying on the grass and savoring the last breath of autumn. Jinwoo’s feet felt heavy as he trudged to the biology building for his lab class. It was all he could do to get himself to walk the remaining distance to the imposing building instead of joining everyone on the half-dead grass and forgetting all his problems. Jinwoo thought about all the annoying aspects of the lab class - unnecessary experiments, long wait-times, and the general futility of teaching research in such a non-rigorous, mentally unstimulating manner. A frown settled itself on Jinwoo’s face as he remembered the condescending lab TA, the chatty sorority girls, and that one annoying premed who wouldn’t shut the up about how fascinated she was by cadavers. All these things were valid reasons for his distaste for the class one week ago, but he had still enjoyed it then. Although he wouldn’t admit it to himself, Jinwoo knew that the change in his relationship with Mino was the principal cause of his current disposition. Choosing the same lab section had worked out well for them in the past - As lab partners, they made the boring protocols interesting by suggesting the most ridiculous hypotheses and testing them with the chemicals in the lab. It made the whole endeavor bearable. But now, Jinwoo wasn’t sure what would happen. Was Mino still angry with him? Would he get mad at him in front of the whole class? Or even worse, would he pretend the last three months hadn’t happened and ignore Jinwoo? His vision grew blurry as tears welled up in his eyes. Jinwoo tried to covertly wipe them off with the sleeve of his sweater. God, he was being pathetic. Jinwoo paused for a minute to steel his resolve before swinging the door open and heading towards his fate.

Jinwoo took his usual seat at the back of the lab and looked around. There were only five other students in the room - none of them was Mino. They had five minutes before the lab class began, and Jinwoo found himself alternating between fidgeting in his seat and staring at the closed door. How would Mino react to seeing him again? Five minutes passed, and nine more students sauntered into the class. Mino was still missing. Ten minutes, the TA had finished distributing the graded lab reports from last week, still no Mino. Thirty minutes, the long-winded lecture by the TA which was completely ignored by Jinwoo had ended, and Mino was nowhere to be found. Jinwoo felt dread gathering like clouds at the bottom of his stomach. All this time he had assumed Mino was avoiding him, but what if he wasn’t? What if there something wrong and Jinwoo didn’t notice because he had been so absorbed in his own issues?

Jinwoo grabbed his backpack, muttered an excuse at his TA, and hurried out the room. His fast steps turned into a jog once he exited the building, and then, a sprint as he made his way through the quad back to Bastion. Panicked thoughts rushed through his mind as he ran. He racked his brain trying to remember the last time he’d caught a glimpse of the younger man. Mino hadn’t attended biology class in the last five days, he hadn’t come downstairs for the dorm study breaks, and he didn’t go to the PAWS meetings. Jinwoo had assumed that Mino was skipping any events that would bring them together. Maybe Mino was angry with him… or disgusted by the visible proof of his uality. Jinwoo’s pride had stopped him from texting Mino to find out where he was, and now, he kicked himself for it. An atheist for most of his life, Jinwoo muttered prayers promising a God he didn’t even believe in anything, everything, if it meant Mino was okay.

A brief misadventure with a misaligned key card later, Jinwoo was pushing past a bunch of frat boys to exit the elevator. He made his way to Mino’s room, paused for a minute to regain composure, and started banging on the door.

“Mino!”

“Mino, are you in there?”

“It’s me. Come out, we need to talk!”

Silence.

Jinwoo fiddled with the handle. The door was locked. It wasn’t just the inside bolt that Mino liked to use, the full lock had been activated. Mino never locked his door. Not even when he went to class. Jinwoo had about leaving his belongings open to theft countless times.

After looking around and noticing that none of Mino’s floormates seemed to be in as well, Jinwoo pulled his phone out of his bag. His fingers moved like they had their own will, entering the numbers he knew too well. It rang and rang. Mino didn’t pick up.

“!”

In a fit of frustration, Jinwoo kicked the door again. It didn’t budge.

There was nothing else he could do now. He would have to wait for someone who could answer his questions to arrive. Jinwoo slid down the metal door and curled up on the thin carpet, readying himself for what could be a long wait.

****

Despite his attempts to remain vigilant, Jinwoo felt himself drifting off into sleep. His latent anxiety about Mino’s disappearance still made startled him sharply awake every few minutes with a rapidly pounding heart. He would look around each time for some sign of Mino or even his floormates, but they were conspicuously absent. Jinwoo idly wondered whether this was a serious enough situation to warrant talking to the resident head about Mino’s whereabouts. He hadn’t talked to the man since orientation week, and he wasn’t even sure if Mino was really gone.

At that moment, someone tapped Jinwoo on his shoulder, shaking him out of his daydreams. Jinwoo looked up to see a very familiar shock of black hair. Mino. His gaze trailed down the figure above him, noting the dark circles under the intense eyes, the unnatural pallor of the perfect tan skin, the oversized white t-shirt that Mino only wore when he was feeling sad. Something was wrong. While Jinwoo was taking in Mino’s appearance, the younger man had tapped his keycard against the door. Jinwoo watched in silent trepidation as Mino pushed open the door open. Was Mino going to ask him to leave?

“Are you coming in?”

The question was spoken in such a low tone that Jinwoo almost thought he had imagined it. Before Mino could withdraw his invitation, Jinwoo grabbed his backpack and stumbled into the room, where he stood awkwardly waiting for Mino to drag the suitcase into the room and close the door. He wasn’t sure what to do or say. Could he revert to pretending their friendship was fine and that the big fight last week didn’t happen? Maybe it was a better idea to address it later after he found out what was going on with Mino.

The door slammed shut, and he turned to stare at Mino again.

“I’m sorry.”

Jinwoo was confused. He knew what Mino was apologizing for, but he’d spent one week agonizing over Mino’s avoidance of him and the fight, so an abrupt apology was very unexpected.

“What?”

Mino started to walk toward the closet, brushing by Jinwoo as he deposited his suitcase in the bottom half of the sparsely filled closet.

“I’m sorry about how I reacted at the party last week. I don’t know why I said those things to you. I think I may have had too much to drink. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

Jinwoo could feel himself growing progressively more annoyed. One week with zero communication, no attempt to apologize in person, via text, or even email, and Mino expected him to accept that bland apology and ‘I don’t know why’ as an explanation?

“Are you ing with me right now?”

Jinwoo didn’t even notice how much he had raised his voice, but judging by the shift in Mino’s expression, the other man had.

“It took you one week - OnE WEEK - to apologize for it, and all you have to say is I don’t know why and I was drunk? Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable - oh you think the question of whether you made me feel uncomfortable by barging in on me, picking a fight with my hookup and making a scene while I was practically is still up for debate?”

Mino sat down on the bed, and rubbed his palm over his face. He looked tired. Jinwoo’s worry about his friend battled with the anger over how he had been treated.

“I’m really sorry, okay? I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Anger won.

“Are you ing serious, Mino? How about I’m sorry about I’m sorry for ghosting you for a whole week and making you worry? I’m sorry for embarrassing you within view of an entire frat? An explanation! Any explanation for why you acted up would be fine! Don’t forget that I went with you to all those dumb parties where you -after drinking- hooked up with girls who were also drinking. Why do you suddenly have a problem with drunk hookups when I’m involved? Do you have a problem with my uality?”

Jinwoo hated the way his voice cracked toward the end of his last sentence. He could hear the hurt in it, and he hoped that Mino couldn’t see how vulnerable he felt at that moment. Mino was staring at him, with a shaky gaze that searched Jinwoo’s face for something. Jinwoo couldn’t be sure what that something was. He turned away to avoid eye contact. He could tell that he was close to tears, and crying over a fight that Mino didn’t seem to have felt as deeply as he did would be the icing on the humiliation cake.

“Do you really think that of me? The last three months of deep conversation and friendship, and you believe that I’m a homophobe? Have I ever done something to make you believe that I would display that kind of prejudice?”

Jinwoo’s anger began to falter again. Mino sounded really hurt by the accusation. He hadn’t meant to bring it up, but that question had been at the center of his anger and worry for the last seven days. When he started venting, everything had just spilled out.

“So you’re fine with it?”

“Of course I’m fine with it!”

“Then why did you freak out on me last week. Don’t give me that bull about it being nothing. We both know that’s impossible.”

Mino wouldn’t look at Jinwoo - the younger man’s gaze was firmly fixated on the blue bed-sheets, and his fingers began tracing complicated figures on the soft fabric.

“It’s dumb.”

Jinwoo heard the vulnerability in his voice. It drew him toward Mino, the urge to comfort his friend rising with each passing minute. He walked to the bed and sank into the soft mattress beside Mino.

“Tell me”

“I was feeling protective.”

Jinwoo gave Mino a sharp glance “You were what?”

“Don’t give me that look. I know it was stupid, and I don’t own you.  It’s just youretheclosestthingtoabestfriendI’veeverhad. I thought I was looking out for you when I first entered the room, and after that, I just couldn’t stop it. I remembered when I’d talk about frat dancefloor hookups, and you’d make that disgusted face before going on long rants about how i wasn’t your thing. You can see how I got confused. I’m really sorry. It won’t happen again. I know you can look out for yourself.”

Jinwoo gently punched his chest “You couldn’t have told me that one week ago so that we could avoid all this angst?”

Mino smiled that special soft smile that turned Jinwoo’s brain to mush every time.  “I wanted to. Are we good now?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

Jinwoo leaned back until he was fully laid out on Mino’s bed. Mino copied the movement. Their heads were close enough for Jinwoo to subtly follow the soft waves of Mino’s breaths.

“You’re not off the hook yet. Why do you look so tired, and does it have anything to do with your week-long disappearance? What’s going on, Mino?”