Little do memories and kindness when it’s all darkness and loneliness one day. Little does being told ‘love you’s when those disperse in time and misery one dreadful night. 

Truth be told, when someone’s life is taken away or for granted, and when someone’s efforts among fear of losing the main battle, when it’s uncovered shot after shot, given by trepid heartbeats, and when the words of comfort are your own: ‘it’ll be worth the shot’ and ‘everything will be alright’ and then you’re gunned down without hesitation nor empathy by friendly fire. 

Oh the betrayal is bittersweet when it comes from those you love. 

And you drop down on the dry ground and see their faces instead of backs, standing proud and snatching your tag as the prize of your defeat. 

There aren’t voices calling your name but those of your companions crying for your lost battle, while the only voice you want to resonate among them all is that of the murder of your dreams. 

It’s like Achille in his lone death. 

One thousand won battles and the death comes from your own weakness, so small, so spotless, everything sounds like a joke. 

“Where is Kwon Jiyong now?” 

No, the headlines never spoke in such a way, never correct even after years of companionship. 

“Where is G-Dragon now?” 

That’s what they said, and the mistake was so blatant that no one noticed.

***

Those were the thoughts that hung around the one figure looking ahead and not watching the scenery that laid at his feet. Hanging corpses who’s sturdy ropes were the incapability of the man to let go. 

How could he? He erased the past just by words and vows but in his uncomfortable lair pictures of those longed times still were displayed for the sake of the man’s spiteful words. Misery is all he wanted and declared upon himself. He did not want to be consoled and he did not want to forget. He wanted to remember and be remembered, but for how he thought, only the first desire stood true. 

But then, what does a man know? What does one mere blind human see? 

There weren’t murmurs nor whispers of his name in the dark. There were shouts and cries and mourn for his disappearing act. But the man was prideful even after long. The man was too deserted inside to see the masses outside. 

And so there he stood. 

Eyes empty and that same glass of whiskey in hand and those same messy and tangled thoughts, and dark blurriness. 

There was a bang, and then a thud, and then two more bangs followed by a shout, and the man didn’t realize it all until it was like ivy crawling inside his mind and invading his thoughts. 

There were bangs and thuds and those came from just outside his door. 

With a furrow of his brows and uncertain steps, he made his way to the entrance, and peeped on the outside to uncover that commotion. 

When he swung the door open, it was both with his own surprise and that of the unexpected guest, that lamely found himself knocking —out of the rhythm he had set on the wooden door— on the man’s chest. 

«oh, hyung» he looked up from under long dark lashes and just as dark circles under his eyes, his mouth shaped like a small ‘o’ in surprise and caterpillar eyebrows raised under his messy bangs. The position he was, was nothing to western cultures like the ones he had belonged to for long, but he was a considerate man for certain, and so with an after thought he stepped that little enough away to be polite. 

«hello» he awkwardly smiled, hesitant at the lack of response received. Was it out of misreading Jiyong’s silence and thinking he was a bother? Jiyong could only phantom, but he was not bothered, purely surprised, and once he realized how misinterpretation was easy to be found in their predicament, he decided to smile back. 

«hello Seungri» he chuckled at the easy smile blooming on the younger’s lips. A smile of excitement that excited back. 

«do you need anything?» he asked a bit after, trying to uncover what the reason was behind that sudden visit. 

«no, I... uhm, kinda? Yes. No» he bit pouted slightly at his own confusion and after scrunching his brows in thought, he looked up, took a long breath and then set determined eyes on Jiyong «would you like to come and have a drink with me» he said with no inflection to make it a question, causing Jiyong to look at him stunned for a second before chuckling once more. 

«where?» he decided to ask.

«I’ll think of a place» he replied right away.

«why?» he inquired.

«because» Seungri shrugged.

«a drink?» his eyebrows raised.

«even a few more» he tried to sound convincing.

«do I need to change?» Jiyong’s eyes showed the teasing grin that wasn’t portrayed on his lips.

«not at all» he shook his head vehemently.

«you drive» this time the smile broke on Jiyong’s lips in easy endearment.

«ok— wait, is that a yes?» and the look of puzzled excitement was back on Seungri’s eyes, making Jiyong’s smile grow wider. 

«yep, let’s go» and taking his wallet from the table beside the entrance, and stepping out in the corridor with Seungri at his side, Jiyong let the doo