Naturally, it was Namjoon who triggered it first.

He was the first member to join the company afterall; and Seokjin was the last. The age difference of two years they had did not matter to Namjoon – as he is the leader and a sunbaenim in experience, compared to Seokjin’s lack of one during his trainee years. Seokjin respected Namjoon, he really does, but he did not expect things to go this way. From being the ‘mother’ figure of Bangtan, to Bangtan’s actual slave.

He loves all six of them, he really does. Hell, he would walk through hell if its for his boys, whom he holds very dearly. But life surely doesn’t turn out the way his heart wanted – since his so-called brothers never did love him back.

“…Jin, are you even listening to me?” Namjoon growls, snapping Seokjin out of his trance.

“O-oh, sorry Joon-ah! What is it??” Seokjin smiles sheepishly. He chooses to ignore Namjoon’s exasperated face and his lack of honorifics in calling him.

“… Forget it. You won’t understand anyway.” Namjoon sighs, shaking his head. “Don’t forget to prepare us dinner at 7 PM, and make sure our dorm’s already clean at 9.”

“Sure thing!”Seokjin smiles, a smile he has gotten accustomed to since the first day being a trainee. He did not attend acting school for nothing. As Namjoon leaves, he pretends to ignore Namjoon’s hushed whisper along the lines of “why is he even in here when he’s so untalented”. He smiles again, turning his attention to the cutting board in front of him.

Continuing to chop up the vegetables, a tear escaped unsuspectingly. Someday, Seokjin thought. Someday they will love me back the way I love them all.

His silent tears eventually turns into sobbing, into wailing that his chest hurts badly. He hopes none of s heard him.

And that’s also when he finally stops choking and coughing, a petal appeared in his before-empty palm.

A black petal, his eyes widen.

Namjoon’s favorite color.

---

Seokjin is not stupid. He has heard about an illness named Hanahaki Disease, which is caused by unrequited love. The victim would only be cured once that love is returned, or if surgical procedures are applied. That certain surgical procedure though – will also remove the victim’s feelings love towards the person forever. Seokjin can’t imagine that happening.

But if the flower continues on to bloom inside the victim… Well, the blossoming flower will eventually clog up every air passage available that leads to death. Not a very interesting story either.

Seokjin shudders, thinking about his fate with this disease. None of the boys had notice yet, hopefully-

“Hyung. Is this yours?” Yoongi enters their shared room, holding a black petal in his palm.

“Y-Yoongi-ah…” Seokjin replies, out of words. Of course, the first one to notice would be his ever-so-meticulous roommate, Min Yoongi.

“Pft, Namjoon huh? You don’t even belong in this group, and now you don’t even belong in the society. ing hell, I can’t believe the useless hyung of Bangtan is gay.” Yoongi said, plopping down his bed. Leave it to Yoongi for profanity, Seokjin thought.

He was about to explain how Hanahaki applies for platonic love. “No Yoongi, that’s not what you think-”

“No, Jin, I had enough of you.” Yoongi replied, dropping all honorifics. “Did you think I even wanted to share this room with you. Man, the thought of that before made me puke. Not flowers though, just to be saying.”

“…”

“And now, Namjoon, hyung? Really? He doesn’t even think of you more than a dog. And a butler at times you cook and do all that for us. You don’t deserve an inch of him – he’s the leader, rapper, and one of the most talented stars in this industry. And you? Visual, my . You’re not a pretty face to begin with, and you don’t have talent either. Why are you here, I don’t even know.” Yoongi babbles on and on, his unstoppable negative talking habit surfacing.

“…”

“Why aren’t you replying? So you admit that it’s true?” Yoongi provokes him more and more.

Seokjin decided to smile.

A smile he has worn for years. Asmile that never falters in front of his ‘brothers’, not even once.

“Goodnight Yoongi-ah.”

And at the late hours where Bangtan is all asleep, Seokjin coughs up a new petal.

This time, it’s white.

---

Seokjin had asked the manager for help, which in return he received an address which the doctor specialized in Hanahaki diseases.

During their time off, Seokjin went to that certain clinic. Except, in the clinic, he surprisingly crossed paths with Jung Hoseok.

“Hobi.”Seokjin smiles, taking off his mask which he wore to avoid attention. He received an eyeroll from the younger.

Being the so-called “Hope” of Bangtan, Hoseok never failed to grin, smile and made fun of himself in front of others. always joked on how Hoseok is their sunshine, and how everything in his life is always full of happiness. However, Seokjin knows that behind the smiling mask Hoseok wears everyday, is a hint of anger, loneliness and agony. He knows Hoseok secretly went through a lot, and hides all that behind the playful grin he wore everyday. How does Seokjin know, when other members doesn’t? Well, let’s just say that it takes one to know one.

Hoseok isn’t the only one hiding behind a mask everyday.

If only,Seokjin thought. If only he knows how much I do understand him, how much I want to tell him that its okay to be sad sometimes, if only-

Instead, Hoseok drags him down an alley nearby the clinic.

“Listen, you er-“ Hoseok begins through gritting teeth. “If you ever, EVER, speak of this to any of our members or staff I will not hesitate to make your life suffer, to make sure that fake smile of yours falters every ing day.”

Fake smile? Seokjin thought. Oh. So Hoseok did know.

“Hobi, please, I won’t tell any others… But I do realize that we are facing the same thing right here, and I want to help you-“

“NO!” Hoseok shouted, throwing Seokjin unto the nearest wall. “Listen, never think your ugly is equal to mine again, okay? And if you want to help me that bad, I just got my flower ing removed. I don’t need your help. Ever. Now go take care of your own problem, dearest Hyung.” Hoseok said, leaving Seokjin behind in the alley.

At the clinic, Seokjin coughed up mountains of black and silver petals. Among them, neon green ones appeared.

---

It’s 12 AM. None of the boys have arrived back at the dorm, excluding Jungkook and Taehyung watching anime in the nearby room.

Dinner is getting cold… Seokjin sighs, peering at the empty table. Oh, how he misses the way s would act so friendly with him during broadcasted dinners.

It is Saturday night though, and most of the times s would go home at the crack of dawn. Some would even bring a girl in tow, and some would reek of alcohol and drugs. If only the fans knew. It was up to Seokjin to wash them off, prepare them a hangover dish and some pills so they would not falter during broadcasts the next day. Yet they never did thank him, even once.

After coughing up an array of colorful petals and draining them off in the sink, Seokjin sighs. It would probably be better to refrigerate the food since the boys wouldn’t be back soon. At that thought, the front door clicked open.

It was Jimin, covered up in patches and sweat. The boy must have been practicing for hours it seems – it was no secret that Jimin was the most hardworking Bangtan member. At the sight of Seokjin, Jimin brightens up a little.

It was also no secret that Park Jimin is a literal ing angel – at least he treated Seokjin like a proper human.

“Hyuunggg” Jimin whines, latching onto his side. Seokjin chuckles – Jimin is only this way when nobody is watching to diss him, or when he’s extremely needy and tired. This time, it’s both. “I’m hungry! Give me food.”

“Just in time, Jiminie. I was about to clean up dinner.” Seokjin replied, scooping a bowl of rice and placing it in front of Jimin.

Jimin, however, doesn’t look too happy with this.

“Hyung! Do you forget that I’m on a diet! I need to get my abs back so fans will love me!” Jimin replies.

Seokjin stared, amused at his dongsaeng. Park Jimin, you need to know how much your fans love you with or without your abs.

“No Jiminie, eat. I haven’t seen you eat properly for like, a week! Please eat properly.”

“No hyung, I refuse. I’m on a strict diet.”

“Jiminie..”Seokjin sighs. “I know you’re on a diet and such, but please, if you don’t take your carbs properly, you might get sick and you know how it is when-“

“NO HYUNG!” Jimin shrieks, slamming his hand onto the table. “I know you’re a pig and you eat mountains, but that doesn’t mean I’m one too!”

Seokjin’s heart clenched at the word pig. He isn’t even that much of a glutton.

“So much for acting nice with you hyung. Turns out you’re as useless as what the other members said you were.” Jimin said, leaving the table and slamming the door to his room shut.

Seokjin could feel another petal making its way through his throat.

Without even looking, Seokjin knows that it’s blue. Jimin’s favorite color.

---

Seokjin is ecstatic. He just received a call from the producer of Hwarang, a new drama that he and Taehyung just auditioned for. Apparently, the producer took liking to his acting skills and decided to include him in the list of main actors for the drama. He is now holding the script of the first drama he will be starring at.

Finally, Seokjin thought. I won’t be as useless as the members think I am, this could be a cure to my endless Hanahaki disease-

Just as he thought of his disease, he coughs up more and more petals. He rushed to an alley nearby, coughing his four-colored petals. Even his doctor thought that this is extremely rare – since most people coughs up only one color, not assorted ones.

Seokjin is offered surgery by the doctor, saying that it’s the only way to save him.

But no, he loves s too much to just forget about his feelings for them.

And here he is, back at the dorm, where one of his dearly beloved members is crying on the floor.

“Taetae…” Jimin whispers, Taehyung softly. “Its okay… The producer must have been stupid to  not choose you as an actor…”

Oh.

Seokjin was too ecstatic at the fact that he’s chosen, that he forgot Taehyung here also auditioned with him.

Seokjin tries hard to walk briefly into his room, to be as quiet as possible so he would not be faced by a crying Taehyung.

But lo and behold, Taehyung’s already blocking the door to his room with Jimin in tow.

“Hyung…” Taehyung sobs, wiping his tears. “I didn’t get accepted as an actor. I thought I was doing great enough! Why hyung, why?!” Taehyung broke out. Seokjin’s heart pained at the sight of the cheery, carefreeTaehyung being like this.

Alas, he chose to crumple up the script he hid behind his back.

“Tae.. It’s okay. Hyung didn’t get accepted too, if that makes you feel better…”

“No hyung, don’t compare me to you, I know you won’t get accepted in the first place!” Taehyung screams, hugging Jimin beside him. “I really wanted that role, you know…”

Seokjin chooses to ignore the part where Taehyung looks down on him, instead settles for a smile and a ruffle on Taehyung’s head. He knows that Taehyung really wanted that role. And being Seokjin, he would do anything for his beloved dongsaengs.

That was the reason why, now, Seokjin is standing in front of the producer’s apartment. The said producer reeks of alcohol and drugs.

“What, you came here just to reject my offer of being a main actor?!” the producer said rather harshly. “You don’t know how lucky you are, ungrateful bastard-“

“No!” Seokjin replied “I’m here to reject my role, and recommend it to another actor, one that is even more talented than me. Kim Taehyung, my bandmate-“

“Ah, that cheeky kid? No good. Seokjin, I need your pretty face for my drama.”

“Please, sir!” Seokjin practically pleads. “I’ll do anything, the kid really wanted that role, so if you just give my role to him-“

“Really” the producer smiled rather sneakily “Anything?”

“Sir, if you want money, I’ll give it to you. Just name what you want, and give Taehyung the role on your drama, please.”

And that’s the story on how Seokjin loses his ity, and came back home with bruises and cuts everywhere.

Back home, there was a party going on. Taehyung is practically jumping around everywhere.

“Congrats on your first drama, Tae!”Namjoon squeaks, holding a bottle of soju in hand. “This calls for celebration!”

Seeing the smile back on Taehyung’s face, relief flooded upon Seokjin’s body. He smiled at the group briefly and returning to his room. He pretends not to hear Taehyung’s hushed whisper of “just ignore him, he’s probably angsty that he didn’t got a role in the drama.”

That night, among all the petals he coughed, a new dark green one surfaced.

---

Out of all his six members, Kim Seokjin loves Jeon Jeongguk most. He wasn’t exaggerating when he stated that fact on a radio show. Being five years apart, Seokjin has this maternal instinct from god-knows-where to take care of Jeongguk. He practically raised Jeongguk from the tiny child that came from Busan into the fine young man that he is now.

He remembered the old days, where he would take Jeongguk sightseeing around Seoul, teaching him the Seoul accent, taking him on playdates with his parents. He even came to Jeongguk’s graduation in Busan. He loves the kid too much for his own good, to the point Jeongguk ever called him ‘eomma’ and decided to never speak of it again.

And Jeongguk happily accepted that love – unlike the other members.

But, like most children’s relationships with their parents, Jeongguk is now growing up.

Growing away from Seokjin.

He was surprised that one day, Jeongguk has woken up before him and is ready to go to school.

Usually, it takes half an hour of body-shaking and -pinching to wake him up, since the kid sleeps like the dead.

“Kookie” Seokjin ruffles his hair “Why didn’t you tell me you’re up? I can prepare you breakfast you know.”

Jeongguk looked up from his phone screen, cocking an eyebrow. “Really hyung? I’m not a kid anymore you know.”

“Kookie, you know hyung will love you even when you’re 50 years old. Come on, let me drive you to school.”

Jeongguk takes his backpack. “No need, hyung. I will be taking the bus from now on.”

“But Kookie…”

“Hyung.” Jeongguk stated firmly “I’m a big boy now, I don’t need you to take care of me anymore.”

And with that, Jeongguk left the dorm.

With that also, Seokjin realizes that Jeongguk doesn’t need him anymore now.

“He’s a big boy now, huh..” Seokjin whispers, a tear rolling down his cheeks. “God, I will miss the days where he would sneak into my bed because of nightmares and- UGH!”

Seokjin lets out a vigorous cough, accompanied by a new red petal.

He runs to the bathroom, coughing up his now six different colored petals. Tons of them came out, and it went like that the whole day.

His doctor’s words are vaguely imprinted inside his head. “If, just if one day the disease worsens and you can’t stop coughing, contact me immediately.”

Seokjin didn’t. He holds on to this tiny hope, that the disease will be cured the natural way.

By s loving him back.

---

Blearily opening his eyes to the morning sunlight, Yoongi growls.

“Jin-hyung I swear to God are you late in waking us up..” Yoongi sighs, checking the time on his phone “ing hell its 9AM, we are late to all of our schedules today…”

The room remains eerily quiet.

“Hyung are you feigning ignorance, what the fuc..” Yoongi’s words were cut off as he saw his hyung lying on his bed, accompanied by petals of six different colors.

“HYUNG!” Yoongi shouted, rushing to Seokjin’s side. “Hyung are you… Oh my God please be alive hyung!!!”

Yoongi examined the arrayed petals nearby him. It was… It was all our favorite colors.

Yoongi felt a stray tear escaping, realizing everything.

His hyung loved them with all his heart, yet they never did love him back.

His love was to a fault where he’d rather die with his feelings than to remove it forever.

Yoongi clasped Seokjin’s lifeless hand. “Hyung I’m so sorry oh God I’m your roommate yet I never noticed this… How... Hyung forgive me oh my god hyung-“

“What’s wrong Yoongi-hyung?” Namjoon enters the room, accompanied by the 95-liners and Hoseok. At the sight of Yoongi bawling, something must had been wrong.

Then the sight of Seokjin, lifeless, with a blossomed six-colored flower in his mouth had them gaping.

Taehyung and Jimin naturally reacted first, dropping beside Seokjin, crying their eyes out.

“Hyung please tell me you are not going, Hyung I promise I will eat any of your food now, Hyung I’m not on a diet anymore Hyung please!! Hyung I did not meant what I said before forgive me…”

“… Thankyou for the role on the drama hyung … I did notice everything, I acted like I didn’t because of my pride, Hyung forgive me I’m an .. “

Hoseok joined shortly afterwards, crying silently while a shocked Namjoon watches.

Namjoon was far too strikened to cry.

Turns out, behind him Jeongguk was watching with silent tears.

 His Jin-hyung is taken away from him. How? By their own actions.

He’s not a big boy. He still needs his hyung. He will do anything to be with his hyung again.

Jeongguk took a kitchen knife, walking briskly to join the others.

“Hyung…” he whispered softly. “We do love you, and we’re going to give you what you deserve in afterlife.”

 ---

The hanahaki disease claimed seven lives that day.