A few days later when Luhan stepped down from the bus that had delivered him almost right to the coffee shop’s doorstep, it was the first time in weeks that the heat hadn’t bothered him. It was possible, however, that his excitement for his upcoming meeting with Sehun was masking the nearly unbearable heat, but Luhan preferred to think he was getting used to it.

However, fanning himself with a hand, he pulled open the door to the coffee shop and was thankful for the blast of cool air that hit him all the same. Kris had promised to see if he could get the ventilation system worked out so that some of the cool air went up to his apartment, but Luhan thought that might qualify as taking advantage of his friendship with Kris.

Luhan was very aware that he had exceptionally generous friends. Xiumin supported him without having to be asked, and drove him wherever he needed to go so he only had to take the bus infrequently. Kris wasn’t charging him nearly what he probably should have for rent, and Lay who lived in the apartment underneath Luhan, was constantly delivering him food and wonderfully prepared meals that helped supplement Luhan’s growing hunger but small income. Then there was Tao, who by all accounts probably should have been an immature kid still, barely out of high school. But instead the self proclaimed uncle for Luhan’s baby (something that Luhan wasn’t really going to fight him on) had already gone far above and beyond with starting Luhan out with the first of the essential baby items he needed. Tao seemed a little addicted, honestly, to buying Luhan baby clothes and baby toys, but who was Luhan to tell him no? Especially with Tao’s inattentive but wealthy parents compensating their absence with money.

It made Luhan a little uncomfortable at times, however. He felt like his friends, the ones he was the closest with, gave so much to him, and he had so little to give back.

He was so thankful for them, especially since he’d made the break from his parents and their support. He wasn’t sure he could have made it without them.

Luhan maneuvered his way through the packed coffee house with some ease. His stomach had ballooned out in the past few weeks, pushing him past the stage where he simply looked like he’d put on a little extra weight, and clearly into the obviously pregnant category. It had happened just gradually enough that he was more than experienced with moving his stomach along, figuring out where he could squeeze into, and where he had to politely ask people to move. Crowded spaces were still his least favorite place to be, but he’d also gotten past the dizziness that had plagued him for so long, so he wasn’t diving head first into people anymore, either.

Continuing on the lucky streak that Luhan felt he was having, his favorite barista was at the cash register when Luhan got there. And after a moment more, the line thinned out and Luhan was able to place his order.

Bomi, who liked to tell Luhan how much he reminded her of her little brother, and doted on him continuously, put his order in without having to ask him, but made sure to clarify, “Decalf on that latte, right?”

Luhan gave a nod. “From now on out, I suppose.”

She gave him a wink, put his name down on the cup and passed it off to her coworker. “How about I try to lesson that blow to your caffeine addiction with a piece of pumpkin bread? It’s fresh.”

“When I get to have my usual, I’m coming to you first thing.”

He handed her his card, noticing almost immediately that she hadn’t charged him for the pumpkin bread, and then slipped her a tip that she made a face at. But he wouldn’t take it back no matter what. She’d always been kind to him, and Luhan never forgot to be grateful for those sorts of things.

“Here you go,” she said, handing it to him just a few short minutes later. She’d put the iced latte in a protective slip as the glass sweated in the form of condensation, and added, “Your friends are right over there.”

Luhan turned, eyes sweeping through the packed shop. It took him a few minutes to spot the group of people who were more family than friends. The four of them were occupying a table in the corner, chairs pulled in close as their heads pressed together.

Eyes narrowing, Luhan was suspicious immaturely.

“Thanks, Bomi,” Luhan said, giving her a wave, and then made his way deliberately to the table.

“Luhan!” Tao said, the first to spot him. He gave up his chair immediately, going off to find another to use.

“What are you all doing?” Luhan asked, seating himself carefully. His ankles had been aching as of late, and taking the extra weight he was carrying around off them was a relief.

Lay wondered, “I thought you would be out all day.”

That only served to make Luhan more suspicious. “I was meeting with a client early this morning. But the rest of my schedule was shifted around a little. I have a few hours before I need to go back out again.”

He and Sehun had made lunch plans, but still so fresh in Luhan’s mind was the moment Sehun’s e-mail had come in, asking for a reschedule. He claimed he’d been backed up at work and unable to get away for even a lunch break. But, and despite the plain text seemingly giving nothing away, Luhan swore he could detect the regret in the message. Sehun had sent him a message that seemed regretful, and almost pleading for Luhan to understand.

So instead of just letting Sehun cancel, and scrubbing the whole thing, Luhan had proposed dinner. A dinner date was a bit more weighty than a lunch one, but Sehun had accepted almost right away, and the pressure had eased from Luhan.

“What are you guys talking about?” Luhan asked, searching the faces in front of him. Kris looked as impassive as ever, but Lay was not meeting Luhan’s eyes, and Xiumin’s body language was more than a little defensive.

When Tao returned to the table, chair in hand, Luhan only had to look sharply at him before Tao was saying, “Xiumin said your baby’s father came by the other day! Lay saw him too!”

Kris rolled his eyes and sighed. “Way to go, big mouth.”

Tao put his chair deliberately next to Luhan’s and said firmly, “It’s not like I’m anyone’s secret keeper here.”

Luhan crossed his ankles under the table and sipped at his latte. “You’re all talking about Sehun?”

Xiumin was the one who spoke up, saying, “I thought the others should know who might be nosing around here from time to time.”

“He’s not a threat,” Luhan said. “It’s not like we should keep the police nearby in case.”

“No,” Xiumin agreed, and he still looked upset from his encounter with Sehun, “I don’t think he’s the type to hurt you physically. I mean, I don’t know him, so it’s possible, but I did see the way he reacted when you almost fell on your face. He was terrified. He’s not a threat to you physically. That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Wait.” Kris leaned forward. “When did you fall?”

“Are you okay?” Lay demanded, reaching for him.

“I’m fine,” Luhan said, maybe even a little snappishly. “I was light headed, and I’m fine now. Really.” Luhan turned back to Xiumin. “Why do you dislike Sehun so much?”

Xiumin replied, “Because he was an to my best friend?”

“Why did he come by? Lay said he stayed for a while,” Tao said, cutting through the tension that had cropped up around them.

“How do you know that?” Luhan asked, enjoying the sweet coffee that was a treat after being up and moving around for the better part of the morning. He’d missed breakfast, even, and the lunch he’d managed to grab on the way wasn’t fulfilling. He was afraid he was going to look like a pig later that night when he ate with Sehun, but it was a worry that he was starting to care less and less about the more hungry he grew.

Lay posed, “You do realize that I can hear the second anyone is in the stairwell that connects our apartments with the downstairs, right? I heard someone going up almost right away, and since I didn’t think you were expecting company, I checked to see who it was.”

But still …

Luhan shook his head. “But how did you know it was Sehun?” Had Lay overheard the argument that had happened just after Xiumin had opened the door?

“A stranger is responsible for my friend being pregnant,” Lay said slowly, “refuses to take responsibility for his child, and poses a threat to said friend’s happiness, and you think I’m not going to find out who he is and what he looks like? I’ve been keeping an eye on him, making sure he doesn’t cause trouble for you or the baby.”

Luhan’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

Lay, who was unassuming and generally unthreatening, looked absolutely deadly in that moment as he said, “I wanted to be prepared. Just in case. And frankly Tao’s method would have been too obvious.”

“My method?” Tao questioned. He huffed, “I just wanted to destroy some of his property, then maybe drag him out of his house by his hair and set him on fire. What’s too obvious about that?”

Lay put a comforting hand on Tao’s shoulder and said, “Subtly is something you’ll learn, Tao.”

Xiumin chuckled, “Subtly in the form of a body bag?”

“Are we ruling that out now?” Kris asked.

Luhan cleared his throat loudly. “Can you all calm down?”

Tao shrugged. “Okay, but why was that guy at your place?”

Luhan wondered briefly how much was right to say. What he had with Sehun was new and fragile, and he wanted to protect it, even from his friends. But his friends had been there for him before Sehun, and supported him when it looked like Sehun wasn’t going to. They deserved to know at least something.

“We’ve been e-mailing,” Luhan said, trying to gauge the reactions from his friends. “There is a lot I can’t tell any of you, things that are Sehun’s to share with who he chooses, but the fact remains, this isn’t just the case of a man not wanting to be a father. I think maybe what happened with Sehun in the beginning was just a combination of his trauma, and bad timing, and just the both of us mishandling the situation. But we’re working on that.”

Softly, Lay asked, “Trauma?”

Luhan said firmly, “I mean it when I say it’s his business. It’s a delicate nature. But I will say that he’s suffered a great loss, the kind of a loss that would break a weaker man. And when I really think about it, the effort Sehun is showing is currently is something incredible and maybe even inspiring. My point is, he is showing improvement. He is making an effort. He’s willing to try with me to be good parents to this baby, and that’s all I can ask for from him.”

Xiumin wondered, “Does this have something to do with that other guy?”

“Suho?”

Putting his hands flat on the table, Luhan said, “Suho isn’t important here. Sehun is. He was at my apartment because he was worried I hadn’t e-mailed him about my appointment. He thought something was wrong, so he came to make sure the baby and I were okay. That’s all. And all of you might start getting used to the idea of seeing him around. If all goes well, he’s going to ease into the idea of being a father over the coming months.”

Luhan hadn’t realized until that moment how much he wanted his friends to approve of Sehun. He wanted them to accept him. He almost needed them to. Because Luhan sincerely hoped that his little girl would grow up with two fathers, next to all her uncles, and wouldn’t it be better if everyone got along?

Kris asked, drawing Luhan’s attention, “You believe him when he says he wants to be a part of this baby’s life?”

Kris didn’t look convinced, and Luhan couldn’t help thinking of the stack of paperwork in his apartment that would take parental custody and rights from Sehun.

“I think he’ll try,” Luhan said. “I think he’ll do his best now. That’s enough for me at the moment . The baby hasn’t even been born yet. I’m the only one who’ll be disappointed if he can’t follow through.”

“I’m going to get another drink,” Xiumin said, chair scraping back as he stood abruptly. “I’ll be back.”

Unsure, Tao guessed, “I think he’s mad.”

“Yes,” Lay agreed, “and I think that’s what he’s worried about, Luhan. In regard to Sehun.”

“What?”

“Never mind,” Lay said, apparently willing to drop the subject. “Have you got any plans later tonight? We could see a movie.”

Kris leaned his chair back with a bored expression on his face. “You need a girlfriend or boyfriend, Lay. I keep telling you, I’ll hook you up with this guy I know. Or hey, he’s got a pretty hot sister if that’s more what you’re into.” He settled his chair down and asked curiously, “What do you prefer?”

Luhan laughed loudly as Lay flicked Kris deliberately on the ear. “That’s none of your business, and additionally it’s not at all relevant to who I am as a person. Nor do I need your help.”

“Leave him alone,” Luhan added, even though he knew Lay absolutely had the situation under control. “Lay deserves to spend the next couple of years doing what he wants and enjoying himself.” Before long Luhan knew he had to go back to China and work a job he had little interest in, and marry the person his parents chose for him. Lay’s traditional family gave no room for compromise there.

“So?” Lay asked, turning back to Luhan. “A movie?”

Luhan tried to look as disappointed as he imagined he’d really feel, if it wasn’t Sehun who was going to occupy his evening instead. “I’m going out to dinner with a friend tonight.”

Xiumin was on his way back to their table, a coffee in one hand a water in the other, when Tao asked, “Which friend?”

Tao was so nosey Luhan could have kicked him under the table as Xiumin put the glass of water in front of Luhan and said, “Here. The doctor said to drink more water. Just because coffee is made with water, doesn’t mean it counts.”

Luhan knew he was forgiven by the action. Xiumin was forgiving him for daring to hope with Sehun, and not just cutting him out of his life completely.

“I’m going to dinner with Sehun tonight,” Luhan said, making his voice nonchalant. “We decided that if we’re going to be co-parents, and if we’re going to be successful in that, we have to get to know each other. We need to be friends. So we’re going to spend the next few months doing that.”

“Dinner,” Kris said suspiciously. “That doesn’t seem like a friendly thing.”

Luhan turned to Lay and asked, “Can you flick him again for me.” Then he sighed and said, “Sehun and I wanted to get lunch today, but he was swamped at work. And because I have a much more flexible schedule than him, we decided to turn lunch into dinner. It’s just a friendly dinner. It’s not like we can go for drinks instead, and the things we’re going to talk about aren’t suited for a more social setting. Now stop making that face, it’s for our baby, and not for any other reason.”

He absolutely ignored the little, tiny part of him that was very aware of how handsome Sehun was. And their lovemaking, for what Luhan had remembered, had been full of passion and pleasure and unlike any of the other times Luhan had gone to bed with someone. Luhan knew next to nothing about Sehun, other than his tragic past, but that didn’t seem to matter in terms of how aesthetically pleasing Sehun was.

Nothing would come of it, Luhan understood. He wasn’t looking to begin a relationship with anyone, let alone Sehun, when there was a baby to consider. And the last thing Sehun probably wanted to do, while he was still grieving for his family, was invest emotionally in anyone.

But the thoughts were there, lingering at the back of Luhan’s mind, reminding him that Sehun was attractive and seemingly earnest, and brave even when he thought he wasn’t.

“Do you need a ride there?” Xiumin asked.

Luhan wasn’t fooled for a second by his offer. “So you can think up an excuse to come in with me, and then hover over me being irritated and irritating Sehun?”

Xiumin replied, “More like so you don’t have to walk, actually. Or take the bus.”

Under the table Luhan let his knee nudge Xiumin’s. “Thanks. But it’s right around the corner from here, and I’m going to go rest for a while, so I’ll be fine to walk.”

“Alright,” Kris announced, “enough of this. Xiumin, weren’t you saying something earlier about your sister’s good for nothing boyfriend finally popping the question?”

“What?” Luhan asked excitedly. “She’s getting married?”

Xiumin gave a resolved look. “She did say yes, and our parents approved, so it looks like it’s happening.”

“Tell us everything,” Tao said, excitedly leaning forward. “I love weddings. “

“Of course you do,” Kris remarked.

Lay’s fingers rose in a flicking threat, but made sure to tell Tao, “I do too. Xiumin, tell us about the guy she’s been seeing. What’s he do for a living?”

Xiumin supplied, “He’s a photojournalist. My parents like that he’s traveled a lot, which means they think he’s way more likely to be ready to settle down and start a family. They’re thrilled, to say the least.”

Luhan took anther drink from his coffee and savored it, even with the lack of caffeine. His friends were shooting off questioned rapidly to Xiumin about his sister’s elusive boyfriend. That meant, at least for the time being, that all attention was away from Sehun, and that was a relief.

An hour later, with the coffee gone and Luhan’s friends starting to trickle out of the coffee house, he headed up the stairs to his apartment.

When he entered the first thing he did was kick off his shoes and do a quick sweep of the apartment, picking up the bit of cleaning he hadn’t gotten to the day before, then finishing the last of the dishes. He’d always found cleaning to be soothing, and liked to keep his home in a uniformed, neat manner.

Afterwards the only thing left to do was to flip on the television, set the volume low, and then go through the mail.

There were a couple of junk items that were quickly tossed to the side, a bill, and a letter postmarked from China.

Luhan would have recognized his mother’s handwriting anywhere. Even the simple print of characters on the envelope face reeked of her, and of how much she detested electronic correspondence.

This letter, he determined, was from his parents. It had to be.

But why would they be writing him? When he’d told them that he was staying in Korea, and not coming home, poised to do what he wanted for the first time in his life and try to hone himself as an artist, his father had refused to say a word to him. His mother, on the other had, had been firm and downright acidic when she’d told him that if he hung up the phone there’d be no more monetary assistance from them, and no more communication.

In a fit of defiance, more so than when he’d slammed the phone down, Luhan had blocked his father’s e-mail address from being able to contact him. He’d even contemplated moving, just so his parents wouldn’t know where he lived. He’d always known they’d likely never contact him again, but he’d wanted to put as much distance between them and himself as possible.

Therefore it was … unsettling to have a letter in his hands from them now.

He wasn’t really sure how long he sat there, the letter in his hands, but it must have been quite some time, because by the time he’d made up his mind what to do, his stomach was rumbling painfully.

A sharp look to the clock said he was going to be in danger of being late to meet Sehun if he didn’t hurry.

Luhan spared only one last look to the letter, the contents of which were probably a hand written letter of disappointment and unhappiness from his mother, and dumped it in the garbage. He wouldn’t dignify the letter with a response. He wouldn’t even open it. His parents needed to know that he was serious about wanting to be his own man, and no amount of complaining on their end would get him to change his mind.

His only reluctance came in the form of the daughter he was set to hold in his arms in only a few months.

Lay had told Luhan, in a way that had sounded condescending at the time, but less so now, that Luhan was their only child. He was their only chance at grandchildren, and they didn’t even know that they were well on their way to that.

But did they actually deserve to know that Luhan was going to be a father?

There was a significant amount of fear in Luhan that they would turn their attentions from Luhan to his child if they found out. And it wasn’t that Luhan believed that they didn’t love him. Luhan was absolutely certain his parents loved him. But they wanted for him things he didn’t want for himself, and their love seemed almost conditional at times, and judgmental at others. What kind of a father would Luhan be if he exposed his baby to people who would put undue pressure on her from a young age?

… or would it be different for her? Would they love her unconditionally? Would they shower her with praise and open affection and support whatever she wanted? Would they be so thankful to have her as they aged, that their wants might become less and less important?

Luhan couldn’t say for sure either way. He only knew that at the moment, he wasn’t ready to let them back into his life. He’d only just grown strong enough to stand on his own, and support himself, and become an adult. He needed more for himself before he made any attempt with them again.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, peering down at the letter in the garbage bin one more time.

He had just enough time for a quick shower, to restyle his hair, and then change into more dinner appropriate clothes. Then he was flying out the door, keys and wallet in hand, more excited to see Sehun than he probably should have been.

His daughter, one who deserved a name soon and most certainly before she was born, delivered a precise kick to his kidney that indicated she was excited too. Luhan couldn’t blame her.

Sehun was already there when Luhan arrived, seated at the table with his phone in hand, his attention full focused on the device.

“I’m sorry,” Luhan said a little breathless as he approached the table, unable to tear himself away from how suave and debonair Sehun looked. The other man had slicked his hair back, wore a dark blue blazer, and smelled wonderful. “I lost track of time.”

“You’re not that late,” Sehun said, face lighting at the sight of Luhan. “I was just checking in on work, anyway. I really hope you bought my excuse about having to cancel lunch for work. It was true.”

Sehun helped Luhan down into his chair with a firm grip. On any other occasion Luhan might have been irritated that Sehun was treating him so gently, or as if he needed assistance, but honestly, Luhan appreciated it. The short walk from his apartment to the restaurant hadn’t seemed too taxing before, but Luhan’s feet were aching now. He didn’t even want to think about the walk back.

“I believed you,” Luhan said, and it was the truth. “But it might help if I knew what you did for a living.”

Sehun sat back in his own seat and answered without hesitation, “I’m in graphic design.”

Luhan felt his chest seize up a little. “You’re an artist?”

“Sort of, I guess,” Sehun laughed. “My friend is a web designer, and we usually work as a team developing, designing, and then presenting to our clients. We work at a marketing firm and it’s our job to sell our clients our visual services so that they can sell their physical ones to the public.”

“I’m impressed,” Luhan said. “You don’t really strike me as an artist.”

“I just like the freedom,” Sehun confessed, “and not so much the creative aspect. When I take on a job, there are always a set of parameters to follow, but what I produce is up to me, and it can be anything. That sort of freedom is intoxicating … and maybe pressuring, but ultimately worth it.”

Now that Luhan looked at him, he could kind of see it. The faint lines starting to crease on Sehun’s forehead, the intense look to his eyes, and the rare expression of inspiration that Luhan could see were all indicative of an artist.

“What about you?”

“Me?” Luhan asked. A little bashfully he said, “I’m an artist too. I mostly paint, but I’ve dabbled in constructed art and performance art.”

An appreciative look crossed Sehun’s face. “So while I’m a sort of artist, you’re the real deal?”

Luhan waved him off taking a drink from the glass of water in front of him. “Just because I put paint on a canvass doesn’t make me any more an artist than it does you for putting it online or on a TV. It isn’t like I’ve got my own gallery, or I’m selling my work for millions of won a piece.”

Sehun leaned forward, interested. “Then what are you doing?”

Luhan gestured down to his stomach. “Believe it or not, I’m making use of this. Xiumin’s sister, she’s my doctor, got me a job painting a mural in the pediatrics ward of a hospital. One of the doctors really liked my art, referred me to a family member, and now I’m doing nurseries for other people. You know, it’s actually really nice. I get to go and meet all these people who are having babies and I get to see what they envision for the room their children are going to sleep in. Then I make that dream a reality. It’s pretty fulfilling.”

“Is that okay?” Sehun asked sharply. “Should you be around those paint fumes?”

With a waiter heading their way, menus in hand, Luhan assured him quickly, “I’m taking all the necessary safety precautions, and when I’m in my third trimester, I won’t be doing any actual painting until the baby is born. You don’t have to worry, Sehun. I won’t let anything hurt our baby.”

Luhan couldn’t get a read on Sehun for the next few seconds as the man accepted a menu and then gazed intently on it, not saying much.

Luhan ended up ordering more than he’d planned to, but when he went to explain himself, Sehun surprised him by saying, “That’s all? It’s okay, we’ll get double desert.” And then at Luhan’s expression, he added, “You’re eating for two, right? You should eat as much as you want, then.”

There were all sorts of reason why he shouldn’t eat whatever he want, including the warning of high blood pressure and his wavering blood sugar levels, but Luhan was pleased and intended to take Sehun up on idea.

“So,” Sehun offered, barely waiting for the waiter to go, “tell me how you ended up in South Korea? You’re Chinese. Why leave your mother country?”

Talking to Sehun was different, Luhan discovered, then talking to any of his close friends. He had an innate sense of intimacy with his friends that made him trust them with whatever he said, but talking with Sehun who was practically a stranger was freeing. He was a little scared to say the wrong thing, or offend Sehun in some way, but the other man’s encouraging smile was like fuel to Luhan.

“My parents wanted me to … diversify,” Luhan settled on saying, “They really wanted me to go to college outside of China and gain experience to go with my education. I picked South Korea because I knew my parents had all kinds of business associates and connections in Japan, which is where they were pressing for. I wanted away from that immediately. So it was South Korea or North America, and they liked the idea of The United States or Canada even less than Korea.”

“It sounds like you didn’t appreciate them trying to control you or perpetrate any kind of nepotism.”

Luhan gave him a perplexed look. This was probably the first time anyone had ever guessed his reasoning for coming to South Korea right from the start.

“Am I wrong?” Sehun asked anxiously.

Luhan shook his head right away. “No, no. You’re absolutely right. I came here because I wanted to be independent, and either sink or swim on my own. My parents let me come because they thought it might toughen me up, and because I promised to study whatever they wanted me to.”

Sehun leaned an elbow up on the table and gave a boyish kind of grin, one that made him seem young and even more handsome. “You can’t possibly expect me to believe that they endorsed you becoming an artist?”

With a hearty laugh, Luhan said, “Absolutely no way. But I didn’t exactly tell them. They knew that I was keeping my grades up, staying out of trouble, and that I’d made friends with a couple of Chinese students who were studying business, and that made them happy enough not to pry. I came home during all my breaks, I was respectful and dutiful, and in return I was able to make it almost all the way to graduation before they found out.”

With their dinner, which came not too long after, Sehun had tea the same as Luhan, and said definitively, “If you can’t drink right now, then I won’t drink around you either.”

It was endearing, to say the least.

Luhan continued their conversation by saying, “When I told them I was going to be an artist, they pretty much freaked out. They demanded that I come home right away, stop acting foolish, and beg for their forgiveness. I did none of that. They don’t even know I’m pregnant right now, and god knows how they’d react if they did.”

There was a nervous tick to Sehun’s expression. It was something Luhan couldn’t quite pin down.

“Sehun?”

“Are you …” Sehun broke off, pushing a fork around on his plate.

Luhan told him, “You can ask me anything, you know.”

Finally, after drinking down some tea, Sehun asked, “Are you going back to China?” He rushed to add, “Any time in the near future, I mean. Are you here on a work visa? Are you in any danger of being deported? Or do you want to go back to China? Or--”

“Sehun,” Luhan said, cutting him of before he could ramble any more. “I don’t have any plans to return to China any time soon.”

There was a clear, obvious release of air from Sehun who’s shoulders fell.

That had been fear Luhan had seen before. That had been what he’d seen so raw and open on Sehun’s face, and Luhan felt absolutely wretched. Sehun had already lost a baby. And though Luhan leaving he country with their daughter wasn’t nearly the same as Sehun’s husband dying before he could give birth, they were still both losses.

Luhan pressed, “I’m not even sure if my parents would welcome me back, and aside from them, there’s not much tying me to China. I love that country, it’s where I grew up, and it’s a culture I absolutely want to pass on to our baby. But this is my home now. This is where I work and live. And yes, I have a work visa, but no, I’m not in any danger of being deported.”

“I’m sorry to be so abrupt like that,” Sehun said, an apology laced through his words.

“It’s okay,” Luhan said, hoping Sehun believed him. “I’m not going anywhere. And Sehun, don’t forget, you’re Korean. That means our baby is half Korean, and as much as I want our baby to love China and learn all about it, I want the same thing for the part of her that is Korean. I want her to learn the language, love the people, and know that her Korean father is just as important as her Chinese one. Do you understand what I’m saying.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Sehun nodded.

Luhan corrected, “No, what I’m saying is that if you commit to this baby, she’s committing to you. And I won’t steal her from you, not like you’ve been stolen from before.”

Luhan swore when Sehun smiled back at him, Luhan knew he was believed.

The best part of the dinner, as far as Luhan was concerned, was finding out that Sehun was more than just a pretty face. He was incredibly intelligent, funny, and even if he was a touch sarcastic, he was also honest. He was the kind of person that was easy to open up to, and easy to trust. If this was what Sehun had been like before the accident, even a little, Luhan could imagine how brightly Sehun had shined.

“I want to apologize for Xiumin,” Luhan found himself saying as the dinner was winding down. The food had been incredible, and between the two of them they were sharing three different deserts that Luhan knew his doctor probably wouldn’t approve of. That made them taste all the better to him. “He’s a very good friend who just doesn’t like seeing people he cares about hurt.”

Sehun inferred, after a bite of dolce ice cream, “He thinks I’m going to hurt you.”

A little curtly, Luhan said, “I think that remains to be seen.”

At Sehun’s slow, pained nod, Luhan regretted his words.

“He seems like he’s more than just protective of you,” Sehun said.

Luhan arched an eyebrow. “We’re not dating, if that’s what you think. I already told you, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“I think he wants to be.”

There was the tick again from Sehun, but this time it was even harder to make out.

“You’re wrong,” Luhan ground out, feeling unhappy for the first time that night. “We’re like brothers. Don’t you have someone in your life that you’re that close to? Someone that would do anything to protect you, anything to make you happy, and love you? Xiumin was the first person I befriended when I came here, and he’s the one who taught me Korean more than anyone else. He helped me deal with my parents when I wouldn’t have been able to do it by myself, he introduced me to the people I call family now, and there is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for him. He is my brother as far as I’m concerned, Sehun, and I know he feels the same way. Xiumin doesn’t have feeling for me, not like that.”

Sehun asked, “Are you absolutely sure? Or is that just what he’s told you?”

“I really don’t want to have this conversation with you,” Luhan said, the chocolate cake in front of him looking less appetizing all the faster.

“I’m not trying to upset you,” Sehun said with a sigh. “I just think that he looks at you in a way that isn’t brotherly at all, you just can’t see it.”

That wasn’t true. And it wasn’t fair for Sehun to make a claim like that. He didn’t even know Xiumin. He didn’t know the things that they’d been through together, or how they’d relied on each other in the way that family did. Sehun didn’t know anything.

“It’s getting late,” Luhan replied. “I think I should go home now. I have to get up early tomorrow for work, but I did enjoy myself tonight. I just think I should go rest now.”

Sehun reached for the bill, snatching it before Luhan could even think twice, and said, “I upset you. I’m really sorry.”

“I am just tired.” Luhan couldn’t wait to get home and go to bed.

“Did you drive here?” Sehun asked, pulling out his wallet. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

Luhan shook his head, getting to his feet and preparing to go back out into the humid heat. “I walked. Don’t worry, it’s not that far from here. I’ll be fine.”

Sehun went pale like a ghost and said, “Absolutely not. You’re not walking.”

Slowly, Luhan said, “I walked here.”

“No,” Sehun said, and was hearing nothing of it. That was how Luhan ended up in Sehun’s car, hands fisted into the fabric of his pants as he endured the short but awkward trip to his home.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun said once more before Luhan could get out of the car. “I should have kept my mouth shut. I’m really sorry. I didn’t meant to ruin anything.”

The words gave Luhan actual pause, and made him want to comfort Sehun who looked moments away from being wet in the eyes.

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Luhan said. “You made an honest mistake and I’m not angry. You didn’t ruin anything, Sehun. I’m not going to run away and never come back. Okay?”

After a pause, Sehun finally said, “Okay.”

After a bit of thought, Luhan said, “I plan to be in your life for a long time, and I hope you plan to be in mine.”

“That’s the plan,” Sehun said a little shakily.

Luhan thumbed towards the coffee shop that was closed now, only a couple of workers inside cleaning up for the night. “You should come here and get coffee sometime. My best friends hang out here almost every second they’re not at school or work. And maybe you could bring your best friends, then we could be one step closer to making sure that our lives fit together, no matter how oddly.”

Sehun asked, “You want our friends to be friends, too?”

“Why not?” Luhan shrugged. “My friends are already calling uncle dibs. Aren’t yours?”

The awkward, guilty look told Luhan that … that Sehun hadn’t even told his friends about the baby. They didn’t know about Luhan and Sehun’s daughter. It was looking more and more like Luhan was a dirty little secret of some kind. Had Sehun ever planned to tell his friends about the baby?

“Look, it was just an idea,” Luhan said, popping the door open.

“Wait!” Sehun called after him.

Luhan said again, “It was just a stupid idea. I’ll e-mail you.” He gave a short wave, ignored how Sehun was calling after him, then headed directly to the stairs on the side of the building.

He’d been stupid to think that Sehun was ready to make progress as fast as Luhan wanted. He’d been even stupider to think that Sehun wanted to share their baby with anyone.

Was he pushing? Was he wanting too much too fast?

As Luhan climbed into bed, flopping down with a groan, he wasn’t sure about anything. Maybe he and Sehun had made progress tonight. It had sort of started to feel that way in the beginning. Or maybe they’d made things worse. Unfortunately that seemed a possibility as well.

It was just too soon to tell either way.