When Taehyung was little, he stared at the sky a lot. His parents would scold him during the day, warning him of the harmful effects of staring straight at the sun and how one day he wouldn’t be able to see it anymore if he didn't stop. Scared of that reality, he’d learned to appreciate the sun as it warmed his skin, and that the best time to look at the sky was when the sun receded and allowed the moon and the stars to breathe. For a long time, he’d heard of soulmates. His parents, his grandparents, all his aunts and uncles—they were all bonded together with matching marks on their wrists. They fondly told stories of how their first meeting went, how the bond was the strongest thing they felt, and how after touching the other’s skin once, they just couldn’t seem to let them go. Taehyung thought it was sweet and said that his soulmate was the sun, the stars, the full moon and the blue sky. His family laughed at his childish antics, saying that one day he would meet his real soulmate. Taehyung didn’t understand it then.

 

Taehyung neither yearned for nor resented his soulmate; rather, he felt indifferent as the time passed in his hometown. He enjoyed the smaller things like the trashy pop songs that played on the one good radio station or the ty science fiction books with equally terrible covers he picked up at the super market. He didn’t worry as much about when his soulmate would appear, but instead spent his nights outside and wondered if there really was anyone he could like as much as the galaxies above. He was content next to his best friend, Park Jimin, who often accompanied him on his stargazing.

 

As they moved into college, he was excited for the new adventures they would experience next to each other, between the earth and the sky.

 

“There’s a dance team here, you know?”  Jimin, a sweet-faced boy with a strict workout routine and bell-like laugh, said nervously. Taehyung nodded, throwing his comforter on top of his bed lazily before unpacking his last box.

 

“Of course I know.” Taehyung said in a joking voice. “You’ve only been talking about it for the past six months.”

 

Jimin bit his lip nervously. “The tryouts are tomorrow, too.”

 

“You’ll get in, no doubt.”

 

“But what if I don’t, Tae?”

 

Taehyung was used to this. For some reason, Jimin never was able to see how amazing he was. He’d attracted Taehyung quickly with his bright and playful personality, but once they’d grown closer, Taehyung soon learned about how fearful Jimin could be.

 

“Sometimes you don’t find them.” Jimin had whispered a night so long ago, one spent counting the few stars visible from his back yard. “Everyone has a soulmate, but sometimes you don’t find them before it’s too late. You’re too old and life is almost over, or their life ended before you had a chance to bump shoulders.”

 

Taehyung turned his head in the grass to look at Jimin, whose eyes were wide and full of unprecedented worry. “Would that be so bad?” Taehyung had said carelessly. “Even if you never find your other half, you would never be on your own completely.”

 

“But you wouldn’t get to feel it,” Jimin said vaguely, “the connection that comes when you find the person destined for you.”

 

“You would still be yourself, though,” Taehyung tried to dispute. “Why be so desperate for someone who could change you with just one touch?”

 

“It’s called love, Tae.” Jimin looked curiously at his best friend. “Everyone wants it - don’t you?”

 

“I think I’m okay as long as one star stays visible.” Taehyung sighed back up into the dark blue sparkled with lights. “As long as one star remains, I can live happily. Even if it’s just the sun, I don’t think I’d need anything else.”

 

And that’s the biggest difference the two could find between each other. Taehyung was grounded in the present and Jimin was hopelessly lost in the future, but they balanced each other out and had remained side by side for years.

 

So the night before the tryouts, Taehyung took up his role in comforting Jimin all the way to the performing arts building the next day. He walked Jimin down to the dance studio, glancing curiously in the window, where he saw other freshman spread out on the floor, some stretching and others idly chatting. There were two upperclassmen at the front, a girl with long hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail and a boy with a long face and set of lips that closely resembled a heart. Taehyung’s eyes caught the boy’s, who gave him a small smile before returning to the girl next to him.

 

“Wish me luck,” Jimin said as he put his hand on the cool, metal doorknob.

 

“Good luck, Chimchim.”

 

And a few hours later, Jimin ran back to the dorm to share the good news.

 

“Of course you got in!” Taehyung exclaimed, quickly jumping up to hug his friend.

 

“I’m so excited. We even got to see the routine for our showcase next month,” Jimin’s eyes were filled with excitement as he explained the difficult dance techniques and formations. “Jung Hoseok, he’s a junior this year I think, is the one going to be teaching us, and he’s such an amazing dancer, Taetae.”

 

Taehyung smiled at his best friend’s enthusiasm.

 

“You have to meet him sometime okay? He’s like, probably the coolest person I know - after you, of course.”

 

Taehyung gave Jimin his box shaped smile. “Can’t wait.”

 

A month later, Taehyung was pushed tightly into a packed auditorium where he found a seat next to Kim Namjoon, another junior at the college. Namjoon had been Taehyung’s tutor in high school and somehow became more like his mentor in the years after. Taehyung looked up to him like an older brother and had tried to stick as close to him as possible after Namjoon had graduated.

 

“How’s Jimin?” Namjoon asked, his eyes quickly flicking over Taehyung’s cellphone then to the stage.

 

“Nervous,” Taehyung answered, continuing to type his message out to his best friend, “but that’s not anything new.”

 

“Tell him good luck for me,” Namjoon said and Taehyung quickly complied, shooting off another encouraging text that was replied to with thanks and partings as they got closer to the performance time.

 

The lights dimmed and the stage became fully lit as a set of about fifteen dancers made their way onto the stage. Taehyung quickly caught sight of Jimin, his eyes lined in charcoal as he gave the audience an intense gaze that only appeared when he was performing. A heavy beat started up and the dancers quickly moved to it, the crowd cheering as complicated twists and turns were executed with grace. The dancer at the center seemed to be garnering the biggest reaction as his body danced to the music in such a captivating way.

 

“I almost forgot how amazing of a dancer Hoseok is,” Namjoon said offhandedly to Taehyung.

 

“Hoseok?” Taehyung’s eyes caught the dancer in the center, “Jimin mentioned him being the dance leader for his team.”

 

“He’s one of the best in the school, so I’m not surprised he’s gained that role in his junior year.” Namjoon replied, keeping his eyes focused on the stage. Taehyung kept his eyes focused as well as Hoseok moved fluidly. His dark eyes fiercely watched the audience, a smirk playing at his lips at the crowd’s reaction to a few hip s. Taehyung felt his heart’s pace pick up, heat rushing to his face. Hoseok was attractive, especially with his exuding confidence and strong stage presence, there was no denying that. By the end of it, Taehyung was amongst the crowd cheering loudly for the upperclassman.

 

“Come on, let’s go find Jimin.” Taehyung instructed, pulling Namjoon by the shirt towards the backstage area where Jimin had said he would be at the end. He expertly weaved through the other people until he’d reached the door. Once inside, he quickly found Jimin happily talking to another dancer.

 

“Jimin!” Taehyung called, running towards the other to greet him with a large hug. Namjoon chuckled as he walked to catch up the younger. “You were amazing!”

 

Jimin laughed and so did the person he was talking to before Taehyung had appeared. “He was pretty amazing, huh?” Taehyung looked over to the other dancer, realizing it was actually Jung Hoseok, his sweaty hair sticking to his forehead. Taehyung's eyes followed his hand as he casually brushed it back, biting his lip at the sight. “I think he might be the best out of the freshman recruits.”

 

Jimin’s cheeks went pink and he quickly looked away from the older student. Taehyung gave Hoseok a warm smile at the compliment, ignoring his attraction for a minute to be thankful for how highly he was speaking of his best friend. “Of course Jimin is the best—that should’ve been obvious after tryouts.”

 

Hoseok smiled and turned towards Namjoon, “Thanks for coming, by the way.”

 

Namjoon just shrugged, “Not sure Taehyung would’ve let me get away with missing Jimin’s first performance anyway.”

 

“You two know each other?” Taehyung asked, an eyebrow raised.

 

“Music department is pretty small,” Namjoon clarified, “But anyway, good job to both of you. I have to get going, though. My music theory homework isn’t going to write itself.”

 

“, I forgot about that.” Hoseok let out a distressed grunt and Namjoon just laughed before saying his final goodbyes and walking off.

 

“I have to go grab my stuff from the dressing rooms,” Jimin said shyly. Taehyung gave him a weird look, but Jimin didn’t seem to notice as his eyes flickered between Hoseok and the floor, his cheeks pink. He stumbled off, and, to Taehyung’s surprise, Hoseok stayed.

 

“I’m guessing you’re Taehyung, then?” He gave the younger a large smile. Taehyung was a little taken aback at how quickly Hoseok went from dark and y to cute, with his heart-shaped smile and round cheeks. Light pink rose to his cheeks as he nodded, and Hoseok moved to stand closer to him. “Jimin talks about you a lot. You’re interested in astronomy right?”

 

“Practically since birth,” Taehyung confirmed, feeling electric from being so close to the attractive junior.

 

“Have you joined the stargazing club on campus?”

 

“The like, super-exclusive-they-only-let-in-two-freshman-each-year club?” Taehyung asked, an eyebrow raised with a “are you ing kidding me” look that Hoseok responded to with a loud laugh. “I wish.”

 

“They can be snobs, yeah, but I don’t blame them.” Hoseok looked steadily around them, “it used to be a really open club but more kids were coming for the night time privacy opportunities rather than the stars.” Taehyung blushed furiously and Hoseok laughed again before continuing. “I have friends in the club, though. If you want, I could put in a good word?”

 

Taehyung’s breath caught in his throat. What country did he save in a past life to have a really hot guy offering to help him get into an exclusive club full of space nerds? “I’d name my firstborn after you,” Taehyung said before fully processing how ing weird what he just said was. Hoseok didn’t seem to mind though, instead laughing louder and harder than he had before.

 

“You’re hilarious, what even was that,” he gasped for breath, patting Taehyung on the shoulder as he blushed profusely. “I’ll let them know, okay? Make sure to tell me when Hoseokki Jr. is running around.” Hoseok teased, his hand sliding casually down Taehyung’s arm, lightly running over the smooth skin before Hoseok walked off, still chuckling to himself. Taehyung stood there for a moment, his skin pulsing from the touch.

 

“Did Hoseok-hyung leave?” Jimin said, looking around to make sure the older had in fact left.

 

“Just now,” Taehyung confirmed, looking at his best friend. The pink was back on his face accompanied by a look of disappointment. “What…” Taehyung started out, confused as to why Jimin had been acting so strangely since after the showcase.

 

“I was hoping he’d want to hang out,” Jimin mumbled to himself, kicking at nothing, “or something.”

 

Taehyung never considered himself the best at reading people, but suddenly Jimin’s looks and pink cheeks became clear as evidence to his best friend’s crush on Hoseok. Taehyung felt a soft pang in his heart at that. He ignored it though, smiling to himself. Sure he was semi-attracted to the older dancer, but it was nothing to give up if it made Jimin happy.

 

And that’s what he told himself until he stuck his hand out to pat his friend on the shoulder as they walked back to their room. The small black sun placed at the center of his wrist had his heart and mind stop, though.

 

---

 

 

Taehyung had never been one to feel the need to actively search out for his soulmate. He’d always felt content with Jimin, Namjoon, and the galaxy. He’d never needed anymore. So now that he’d found Hoseok and discovered that Jimin had similar feelings, he thought it should come naturally to ignore the sudden urge to find Hoseok and be with him. He was wrong, though. It was almost like he ached to be near Hoseok, the mark pulsing anytime he was close or on Taehyung’s mind. Taehyung still took every possible opportunity to avoid the older, reminding himself that it wasn’t just the two of them as long as Jimin still had feelings for Hoseok.

 

“Hoseok-hyung asked about you today,” Jimin said, pursing his lips as he typed up his literature essay. Taehyung froze on the other side of the room with his DS in his hands as his character quickly died on the screen.

 

“Oh really?” Taehyung feigned ignorance.

 

“Yeah, he said he can get you into the starwatching group on campus,” Jimin looked away from his computer screen to smile at his roommate. “I told him you’d meet him tomorrow after your last class so he could introduce you to the president.”

 

“That’s okay,” Taehyung tried to keep his eyes on the game console in front of him. “I don’t think I’m really interested in the club anymore.”

 

“What?” Jimin said, his brows knitting together. “Tae, you were so upset when you weren’t accepted, which is ed up by the way. Seriously how can they not let you in,” he grumbled the last part under his breath, “but now you don’t want to join? What happened?”

 

“It was ed up,” Taehyung agreed, quickly using it to excuse his strange behavior. “They seem kind of pretentious, okay? I can just star gaze on my own, or with you. I don’t need to be in the club.”

 

Jimin looked him over for another second before shrugging and texting Hoseok that Taehyung would not be meeting him the next day.

 

Or any day after that, if Taehyung had a choice. Every time Jimin asked him to meet him after practice, he waited by the side of the building until his friend appeared and then quickly dragged him away before Hoseok could catch sight of him. He ducked into occupied classrooms, behind the counter of the campus coffee shop, and even once in a woman’s bathroom just to avoid having to meet Hoseok and deal with the impending drama that would start by having a soulmate your best friend was possibly also in love with.

 

Taehyung wasn’t happy about it, though. His heart cracked and throat constricted every time he caught sight of Hoseok’s disappointed face as the other made his quick escape. He felt a strange pang of guilt as he covered the sun on his wrist behind watches, long sleeves, and bracelets. He wasn’t happy, but for now, this was the only thing he could think to do.

 

And then one day, Jimin had left for some independent practice, and Taehyung had gone to pick him up after a few hours out of routine and the thought that maybe having someone to watch over would help distract him from his current problems. But when he got there, the usual room was empty and, unsure of what to do, Taehyung slid down the wall to sit on the floor with his school bag next to him.

 

His mind quickly went to Hoseok. He started to understand it now, what finding your soulmate did to you. It was strange, the empty feeling in his chest that now kept him awake most nights. He couldn’t dream without Hoseok’s face appearing, and it only caused him to wake up in the middle of the night as his heart tightened and the tears kept running down his cheeks. The guilt of denying his soulmate, but also of possibly breaking his best friend’s heart, was becoming overwhelming, and he was slowly losing control.

 

"Taehyung?" A friendly voice shook Taehyung out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Hoseok, wearing a large smile and comfortable clothing. "Looking for Jimin?"

 

 Taehyung nodded slowly, moving to stand up from the floor and swinging his bag onto his back. His mind immediately went to the thought of escaping, but it felt much harder to do when Hoseok’s soft eyes and sweet smile were right in front of him. "Do you know where he is?"

 

Hoseok shifted his weight to one leg, his eyes locked onto Taehyung's own. "I do, but mind keeping me company for a bit?" His head shifted towards the vacant dance studio, his eyes sparkling and smile becoming softer. "I get it if you're in a rush, but I've never been a fan of staying in this part of the building by myself."

 

 Taehyung bit his lower lip nervously, thinking back to the look he saw on Jimin's face at the showcase, but he also thought about how scary the renovated basement of the arts building was, and leaving Hoseok there by himself just didn't feel right. So with a tentative nod, he was following the older into the brightly lit studio where he was surrounded by mirrors and scuffed wood flooring. Hoseok moved to the wall and quickly shrugged off his jacket, revealing his toned arms. Taehyung felt himself staring for a moment, but quickly pulled his gaze away. Thankfully, Hoseok broke the silence that had settled over them.

 

"Do you dance?"

 

Taehyung couldn't help the barking laughter that spilled out of his mouth.  "I'm a disaster on legs," he replied. He had considered himself to be the most uncoordinated person on the planet until he met Namjoon--so he's currently ranking as the second clumsiest idiot in the universe. Hoseok raised an eyebrow, his mouth lifting in the corners.

 

"Want to learn a few moves?" Hoseok asked, moving to stand closer to Taehyung.

 

 "I'm not joking when I say I ." Taehyung tries to clarify. "I'm a very honest person."

 

Hoseok smiled and shook his head, shifting his gaze to the floor and then back up to the other boy. "We don't have to dance to anything fast."

 

Taehyung's eyebrows furrowed together. "Didn't you come here to practice?"

 

Hoseok hummed in response, moving away from the freshman to the speakers by the wall. He quickly hit a few buttons and soon, a slow beat began filling the room. The dancer swayed softly to the beat, but then walked back over to Taehyung. He gave him his heart shaped smile. "I did, but I can practice the dance routine later. The performance isn't until after fall break." Hoseok held out his hand then, his features shifting to express something more vulnerable. "What if I tell you I don't mind getting my feet stepped on?"

 

Something in Taehyung warned him that he should say no, that it would be better for him to run out of the room and find Jimin before he messed up everything. Because this was the boy that Jimin liked. This was his best friend's crush, but he was also Taehyung's soulmate. The small sun pulsed on his wrist, as if it felt its counterpart so close. It didn't help that Hoseok's eyes looked so glassy, like he would break if Taehyung pushed him away again. Imagining that, imagining Hoseok being hurt was too much for Taehyung at the moment, and before he knew it his fingers were laced with the dancer's extended hand, and the other boy quickly pulled him closer until they were only a few inches apart. Taehyung noticed the very slight height advantage he had over Hoseok, also noting that it would be really easy to bend his neck slightly and press his lips on top of Hoseok’s own.

 

He didn't do that, though. Instead he met Hoseok's steady gaze, trying to give him a real smile, which was returned full force. The older of the two quickly pulled his arm around the younger's waist, keeping his hand gripped tightly in his other hand. "Just follow my feet." He took a step forward and Taehyung stepped backwards, then another, and another until they had created an easy pattern that even Taehyung could keep up with as long as he didn't get distracted by his partner.

 

"I expected a lot worse." Taehyung laughed softly at Hoseok's comment, feeling extremely warm in the other's embrace. Hoseok's smile softened until the serious look from before returned. "You've been avoiding me, right?" The other stiffened.

 

 "I don't, uh, I--" he stammered out.

 

 "You're a very honest person." Hoseok repeated Taehyung's previous statement while the arm around his waist tightened, bringing them so close together. Leaning forward, his breath was right against the younger's ear. Taehyung closed his eyes, free hand gripping his dance partner's shoulder tighter for balance. "So, why are you pretending like you haven't been running in the opposite direction ever since the marks appeared?" The voice came out almost ragged, breaking off at the end. Taehyung gulped; he felt lightheaded.

 

 "There's stuff you don't know." Taehyung whispered, so lowly that he wasn't even sure if the sound had actually made it past his lips.

 

 "All I need to know is that you're who I'm fated to be with." Skin lightly brushed on skin, causing the younger to shiver at the electricity it sent through him, but Hoseok was quickly pulling him away, dropping his arms and taking a few steps backwards. He looked vulnerable as he said, "I'll respect your decision if you decide that you don't want this, but please just don't run away from me. I don't know if I can keep this up without going crazy." The words were almost choked out as Hoseok gave a desperate look.

 

 Taehyung's heart constricted; his throat felt like it was closing in on itself. The sight in front of him drove an urge to reach out and comfort the boy before him. So he did, pulling Hoseok back into his arms and pressing his cheek into the crook of his neck. "I want you." He tried to pull him closer, needing to feel the other flush against him. "I want you so much, please never think otherwise." Taehyung pressed his lips to the exposed skin of Hoseok's neck, kissing the smooth area furiously in order to calm him. "Please never look that hurt ever again."

 

Taehyung pulled Hoseok's face towards his own, letting their lips meet in a kiss that felt long overdue. A sigh escaped Taehyung’s lips as their mouths glided along each other smoothly, his body relaxing against Hoseok’s. He kept a hand around Hoseok's neck, while another cupped his cheek. Hoseok gripped tightly to Taehyung’s t-shirt, pulling slightly to bring them even closer, and then reaching behind Taehyung to run his hand along his back. Hoseok drew back for a second, giving the other a lustful look with half-lidded eyes, his desperation now fueling a different desire. Taehyung could feel his face begin to flush at the look Hoseok was giving him, but he didn't shy away. Instead he pulled him back onto his lips quickly, this time capturing the other's bottom lip between his teeth, tugging slightly. Hoseok let out a low moan, pushing Taehyung back towards the wall and placing his leg in between his thighs. His tongue traced over his lips, asking for entrance, and he was quickly admitted. The music continued to play in the background as their kisses moved from long and innocent to sloppy and heated. Taehyung ran his hands down Hoseok's neck and chest and his arms, appreciating the dancer's slight muscular build. He let out a breathy moan when Hoseok responded to his excessive touching by rolling his hips against his own. Hoseok moved his mouth down to Taehyung's neck, leaving the other gasping in pleasure at the sensation of his spit-slicked lips against his tanned skin. Hoseok on it, nibbling until a nice red mark had formed and then he moved back up to the younger’s mouth, capturing his lips in another kiss.

 

And it all felt so nice, so perfect, but was quickly ended when a voice came calling out from outside the room. Taehyung immediately recognized it as his roommate's and pushed Hoseok away from him, quickly delivering a peck to his swollen lips before moving far from the boy and trying to straighten out his disheveled appearance. Hoseok quickly got the hint, running to the other side of the room once more to change the music, all while trying not to smile like an idiot, but still with confusion in his eyes.

 

 Taehyung fixed himself up quickly by combing his hair back into place and smoothing out the wrinkles in his t-shirt, but the mark on his neck was too high up to be covered by any of his clothing. He prayed Jimin wouldn't notice. Said boy quickly stumbled into the studio, his usual bright smile on his face, his eyes forming two crescents. He looked over to Hoseok, his face brightening even more, but then his eyes caught Taehyung and his happiness soon faded to confusion.

 

"Taetae, why are you here?" His eyebrows knitted together, lower lip jutting out slightly.

 

"I was looking for you, Chimchim." Taehyung said in what he hoped was a normal voice. "Hoseok-hyung said you would be here later and let me hang out while I waited." At that, Jimin's confusion shifted back to his usual smile and he walked over to the speakers where Hoseok stood to drop down his bag and began stealing glances at the older boy. Taehyung's heart constricted, guilt nibbling at his core. Hoseok smiled at Jimin, but his eyes soon drifted back over to his dance partner's roommate. Taehyung met his gaze and felt the blush creeping back onto his cheeks. "I think I'm going to head back to the dorm early, if that's cool with you."

 

"Are you sure?" Jimin asked. Taehyung quickly nodded, mustering up a boxy smile. He let his eyes slide to Hoseok for a second, long enough to notice the dancer’s eyes still on him, before he walked out the door and soon enough he was back in the crisp night air.

 

Campus at night was like a completely different place than when the sun was up. The lamps cast an orange glow over the trimmed lawns and flower gardens, illuminating the sidewalk back to Taehyung’s dormitory. He allowed the quiet to calm his nerves and his racing heart, placing one foot in front of the other and trying to block out the feeling of Hoseok against him.

 

By the time he’d made it back to his shared room, the guilt had settled over him. Without turning the lights on, Taehyung moved to his messy bed, throwing his jeans off and crawling under the warm covers. He pulled his wrist up to his eyes, barely able to make out the dark sun that had been there since the first time his skin had grazed Hoseok.

 

One touch was something he thought he could forget. Taehyung was sure that, if he just tried hard enough, he could avoid the warmth that settled over him at the thought of the junior. He could ignore the pounding in his chest whenever he caught sight of him across campus, or maybe the mark would just disappear if he focused on anything but Jung Hoseok.

 

But he was wrong, and now he’d finally given in to the only thing that would cause him to do what he promised to never do: hurt Jimin. Even as that realization sunk in, even as Taehyung felt the tears in his eyes at the thought of hurting the only person who had stayed by him for so long, he also felt the overwhelming feeling of being with one’s soulmate. It was something he’d been in denial about since he could remember, but he had always been afraid of just what the soulmate bond could do to you. How it was changing Taehyung now and how it made him not care. Loving Hoseok made him afraid of not only hurting Jimin, but also realize that maybe he was this person who needed his soulmate just as much as everyone else all along.

 

So that night, he allowed himself to feel the guilt and betrayal, but the next morning he woke up early enough to snatch Hoseok’s number from a sleeping Jimin’s phone and send a message asking the older student to meet him. And when he was standing in front of Hoseok’s apartment door, he didn’t feel anything but the butterflies that came with new love.

 

“You made it.” Hoseok breathed out after swinging the door open on Taehyung’s first knock. He looked the younger over once, a smile spreading on his face before he reached out to quickly press his lips against Taehyung’s.

 

“I made it.” Taehyung confirmed once they had separated a few inches, reaching out his hand to interlace their fingers. Hoseok took the opportunity to pull them both inside the small space, leading Taehyung to the worn out couch.

 

“Do you want something to drink?” He sat the younger down, removing his hand to walk over to the small kitchen located on the other side of the room. “I can make tea, but I’m out of coffee after studying for my psychology exam last Friday.” Taehyung watched as Hoseok moved to boil water, not waiting for a reply.

 

“We should talk about yesterday.” The words came out of his mouth without him realizing, causing Hoseok’s body to falter for a second. The dancer turned to the younger, his eyes holding a hint of worry that Taehyung felt the need to quickly extinguish. To do exactly that, he stood up and walked over to Hoseok. He reached his hands out, letting them cup the sides of the dancer’s face before he pulled him gently forward to connect their lips for the second time that day. “I meant what I said about wanting you,” Hoseok let out a little sigh at the words, placing his hands on either side of Taehyung’s hips. The younger bit his lip, his eyes grazing over the soft pink hue of the dancer’s lips before remembering that there was more he had to say. “But there are still things you don’t know.”

 

Hoseok stiffened, his lidded eyes flying open. “Taehyung--”

 

“I want you,” Taehyung confirmed again, something he thought he might never tire of saying. “But I’m not the only one who feels that way.”

 

Hoseok’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Who feels what way—“

 

“Someone who wants you just as much as me. Someone I can’t hurt.” Hoseok took in a sharp breath, something like realization washing over his features after seeing what Taehyung could only assume was a broken look on his face.

 

“Jimin?” It was barely a whisper, but it caused tears to sting the back of Taehyung’s eyes. Hoseok quickly reacted by reaching a hand out to caress the younger’s cheek, whispering comforting words. A little beep resounded in the quiet, alerting them that the water was ready. “Go sit down, I’ll bring your tea,” Hoseok said, separating from the other to grab two mugs from one of the cabinets.

 

Taehyung did as he was told, taking his seat on the couch and waited patiently for the warm mug that was soon placed in his hands. He took a tentative sip, not wanting to burn his tongue, before setting it down on the coffee table in front of him. “I want to be selfish,” He confessed.

 

“Okay,” Hoseok agreed, following Taehyung and setting down his own chipped mug.

 

“I want to keep my best friend,” He continued, “but I also want to be with my soulmate.”

 

“Understandable,” Hoseok pulled Taehyung’s hands into his lap.

 

“Can I do that? Can I be that selfish?” Taehyung’s voice came out raspier than usual as he gave Hoseok a pleading look.

 

“Yes,” Hoseok said in a soft tone.

 

“But that means hiding you,” Taehyung gritted his teeth. “I’m asking you to hide our sun, to hide your feelings, to lie.”

 

“And I’ll do that.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to.”

 

“Taehyung,” Hoseok said firmly, “I’ve gone almost two weeks with you avoiding me. I’ve survived fourteen days trying to figure out if I’d lost the only person I’ve ever felt this strongly for. I’ve survived it, but hell, I don’t think I could’ve gone on much longer.”

 

“I’m so—” Taehyung started, but Hoseok held up a hand to stop him.

 

“Don’t even finish that sentence, okay? I don’t want you to apologize, and I sure as hell don’t want you to feel guilty about something you can’t control,” he said decidedly. “You shouldn’t have to choose between your best friend and your soulmate; you shouldn’t have to feel guilty for wanting someone.”

 

Taehyung felt his heart almost stop. This entire time, he’d never once thought about being the one getting hurt. Ever since the sun appeared in his life, he was the abuser and the ones he loved were his victims. But maybe Hoseok was right—maybe all this time he had been just as unfairly treated by fate as those around him.

 

“I’ll figure out a way to hide the real sun if it means you’ll just stay by my side, even if it’s in secret.” Hoseok pulled the younger into his arms and Taehyung quickly nuzzled into his neck, wrapping his own arms around the other’s torso. “I want you just as much,” Hoseok said, kissing the top of Taehyung’s head.

 

“I don’t deserve you,” Taehyung whispered against Hoseok’s tan skin. The younger breathed in deeply, replacing all the guilt and worry with the scent of his soulmate. Taehyung let his lips slide down his neck, stopping at the base, where he left a simple kiss. Hoseok’s grip tightened and pulled the other closer until he was almost on his lap.

 

“You deserve the world,” Hoseok stated, pulling Taehyung’s face up to meet his eyes. “But if you really want to repay me for being understanding about all of this…” Hoseok trailed off, his eyes moving to Taehyung’s mouth and his tongue jutting out to wet his lips. Taehyung felt a knot of heat form in his stomach, something like desire running through his veins as he smirked and quickly made his way to oblige the older.

 

And in their private space, Taehyung found himself relaxing quickly into the flow of Jung Hoseok. The way the older kept an erratic schedule between classes, dance practice, and work. How on some nights when he told Jimin that he was crashing at Namjoon’s, he would instead run over to his sunshine to find him scratching tiny verses onto crumpled papers. Taehyung learned to sleep in again when he was curled up to Hoseok, who had come home late after deciding that no, he did not have enough time to perfect this new choreography for after fall break.

 

But in the sunlight, out in the open where all was visible, Taehyung found himself stuck.

 

“What are you doing in here?” Namjoon grumbled, dropping his keys onto the rack by the door and taking off his shoes.

 

“Hoseok has a nice .”

 

“Gee, thanks for letting me know.” Namjoon set down the brown paper bag on the small kitchen counter and walked over to the couch where Taehyung was currently sprawled out, faced up towards the ceiling. “But that information is not a proper answer to my previous question.”

 

“Hyung,” Taehyung looked over to his silver haired companion, “You know Hoseok-hyung is my soulmate right?”

 

“After catching you two borrowing my bathtub last week,” Namjoon gave him a pointed glare, “I don’t think you need to clarify your relationship for me.”

 

“Seokkie-hyung ran out of bubble bath and I know you always have extra below the sink,” Taehyung smiled at a very red and angry Namjoon.

 

“I don’t buy bubble bath.”

 

“I know, that’s why I buy it and keep it under your sink,” Taehyung shrugged, sitting up. “There is no way I’m using the moldy bathtubs at the dormitory.”

 

“Why did I ever sign up for that tutoring program in high school…” Namjoon held his head in his hands and cursed whoever decided that Kim Taehyung should feel the need to attach himself to his silver-haired hyung.

 

“You wanted your college application to look good,” the younger informed him. “Now continuing, Hoseok has a nice caboose and I’m pretty sure everyone else has noticed.” Namjoon raised an eyebrow in question causing Taehyung to let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m tired of watching my boyfriend get manhandled by other dudes' eyes!”

 

“Then stake your claim or some .” Namjoon shrugged, walking back to his grocery bag to place his purchases in their designated areas. “I still don’t understand why you’re keeping all of this a secret.”

 

Taehyung bit his lip, Jimin’s face flashing in his mind. He knew that he would have to let the truth come out eventually. It had already been over a month since the two had worked out some sort of relationship. Taehyung knew that his actions were selfish and unfair no matter how much Hoseok reassured him that they weren’t. He was reminded every time Hoseok’s usually bright, heart-shaped smile came to a tight-lipped line whenever Taehyung disconnected their hands as someone walked by. It hurt Taehyung that he was hurting Hoseok. It hurt Taehyung that he was secretly betraying Jimin. It hurt him the most, though, that he wasn’t brave enough to do anything about it.

 

Taehyung heard the light sizzling of a pan from the stove, turning his head to see his clumsy hyung preparing to cook. “Did you get a new fire extinguisher yet?”

 

Namjoon shot him a quick glare over his shoulder. “Shut up.”

 

“I thought you banned yourself from anything that wasn’t microwavable.” Taehyung stood up, walking to stand in the small kitchen that was openly connected to the living area. Namjoon mumbled out something that escaped Taehyung’s hearing, but his eyes caught the faint pink at the tip of his ears. “Kim Seokjin, huh?”

 

The pink quickly turned to red and Namjoon stayed focused on the task at hand, quickly scanning over what looked like a neatly written set of instructions on a paper set a good distance from the open flame of the stove. “He says it’s easy,” Namjoon began, “and that he refuses to talk to anyone who can’t cook at least one meal.” Namjoon’s voice was tinted with something close to amusement, but mainly filled with fondness.

 

Taehyung smiled softly down at the counter in front of him, wondering if he sounded as fond when he talked about a certain dancer. “Good luck, hyung,” Taehyung said before taking his leave.

 

“You too,” he heard Namjoon call after him as he shut the apartment door and started the familiar way to the performing arts building.

 

 

Once arriving to the practice rooms, Taehyung went over to the typical room he often found Jimin in during the weekends. Even if he had been disappearing from their shared dorm for most nights, Taehyung still tried to come and pick Jimin up after he practiced. It had almost become a habit developed after the early part of the year when Jimin feared walking the campus at night. Now, he was comfortable and knew his surroundings, but Taehyung still appeared every night around nine to accompany him back to the ancient dorm hall.

 

Taehyung thought that this night wouldn’t be any different, but when he peered in through the window on the door his heart stopped for a second.

 

Jimin was in the room, like usual. His form was glistening in the bright lights due to sweating from his work out, but this time it wasn’t just him in the room. Hoseok was there. Taehyung gulped stepping back from the door, but not averting his eyes. Hoseok was there, and Jimin had a hand reached out to cup the back of his neck. Hoseok was there and Jimin was pulling him in with his eyes set on one sight. Hoseok was there with wide eyes as his lips were met by another pair that didn’t belong to Taehyung.

 

“Jimin,” Hoseok pulled back, his voice muffled through the door. He kept one hand on Jimin’s chest, pushing him a few centimeters back. “What are you doing?”

 

Jimin’s face was tinted in its usual pink that appeared whenever the older dance student was around, but instead of bashfully looking away, he met Hoseok’s gaze. “I like you,” he confessed. Hoseok went stiff, unsure of how to respond. Jimin noticed, quickly adding “I know we’re not soulmates and I know it’s is kind of,” He bit his lip, “weird to date before you’re matched, but it’s not unheard of.”

 

Taehyung took in a sharp breath, wanting to flee, but also feeling rooted to the spot outside of the door.

 

“As long as we both aren’t bonded to anyone what would it hurt?” Jimin smiled softly, trying more to convince himself of these words than anyone else. “And who knows, maybe,” he looked hopefully at the other, “maybe the bond can form later. Maybe it’s not always an immediate thing.”

 

“Jimin…” Hoseok trailed off, looking apologetic. “You know that’s not how it works.”

 

“I know,” Jimin said quickly, “I know but I like you, okay? And maybe this is as close to love as I’ll ever get to feel, so I have to try while you’re still just you and—“

 

“I’m not,” Hoseok interrupted, “just me anymore.”

 

Taehyung felt his heart beat violently against his ribcage, his whole world simultaneously falling while also reaching new heights as his soulmate began to confirm their relationship. Jimin’s eyes went wider, his jaw going slack as Hoseok pulled off the sweatband he’d taken to keeping on his wrist once the mark had appeared.

 

“I’m so sorry, Jimin.” Hoseok looked at the other with sincerity. “You’re an amazing friend and dancer, but—“

 

“Please don’t,” Jimin said in almost a whisper, so low that Taehyung could barely catch it. Jimin’s bottom lip trembled. “Who…”

 

Hoseok’s lips formed a tight line, his eyes going down to the sun on his skin.

 

“Who?” Jimin said more audibly. “You didn’t have that during tryouts,” he said more to himself, like he was trying to straighten out his thoughts, “Or the first practice, or even the first show—“

 

Jimin stopped, looked at Hoseok again, almost trying to read his mind. “It’s not…”

 

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok said for a lack of any excuse.

 

“Taehyung?” Jimin took a step back, almost like he’d been stung from being so close to the other. “But he never said anything, and he’s my best friend,” his face filled with confusion. “We tell each other everything - this doesn’t make sense. It can’t be Taetae.”

 

Taehyung felt himself reaching for the door handle, needing to take the chance to explain before he lost Jimin.

 

 “It’s not his fault.” Taehyung stopped. Hoseok stood straighter, his voice no longer soft and apologetic, but now backed with something protective and almost determined. Taehyung cringed, afraid of where this was going.

 

He’d gone too far. He’d pushed Hoseok too much, he couldn’t take the blame for this.

 

“I thought that it would be easier if we kept it to ourselves while we,” Hoseok nibbled at his lower lip as he thought of a word, “explored?” Jimin’s cheeks began to turn to a violent shade of red and Hoseok quickly explained. “Explored what this soulmate connection really meant, if it was something we both wanted, that is.” He sighed and added “I asked Taehyung to not say anything, so don’t blame him for this. He felt bad about keeping it from you, but I begged him, just until we were sure that the connection wasn’t a mistake.”

 

Jimin in a breath, looking anywhere but Hoseok’s eyes. “I need to leave,” he said and turned to gather his things.

 

“Please don’t blame Tae—“

 

“You can’t tell him.” Jimin said, no longer visible from the small window in the door. “Don’t tell him anything about what I said, he’ll only feel guilty,” his voice cracked and Taehyung recognized it as the beginning of tears. “I can’t fault him for falling in love, much less make him regretful.”

 

And before he could hear Hoseok’s reply, Taehyung was running out of the building as fast as possible. His own eyes were filled with tears as he sprinted anywhere that was far away from the mess that he’d created for himself. He should’ve been honest. Since when had he become so cowardly, so selfish? This wasn’t the Taehyung who’d laughed with Jimin on warm summer nights or carelessly lived in the present under skies full of stars. This was a Taehyung he didn’t know—didn’t want to know.

 

He’d become someone he’d hated and now he felt like he couldn’t turn back.

 

---

 

 

A/N:

I've been writing this on/off for the past few months, maybe a few weeks after Like a Butterfly was published? Anyway, sorry it took so long. I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter. I'm hoping to have the second up within the month, but I've been so busy lately and life is just a wreck rn. Thanks for reading and subscribing, I love you guys <3

 

(also feel free to come chat with me on my tumblr: x )