JUNGKOOK didn’t know what he was doing here.

As soon as he heard the doctor say it, he was out of the cabin and then out of the hospital under a minute and now, his legs had brought him here. He stood awkwardly in the familiar corridor, trying to figure out his next move but then decided to knock on the door he was facing. He scoffed a little, “of course, its not like he’s home all day, he probably doesn’t even wanna see me. ” and was about to turn and run to the nearest secluded corner to break down when the door opened.

Jimin looked at him with widened eyes, dark brown orbs staring at him with shock and wonder. His hair a mess. He’d probably just woken up, hence, the delay in answering the door, Jungkook figured.

“Jungkook…” Jimin said and finally the gravity of the situation dawned on him. Realisation hit him square in the chest and he felt myself cave in and let loose a tear that had been threatening to fall all this time.

Jimin’s expression turned from one of curiousity to worry in a millisecond.

“I really don’t know why I’m here…”

Jimin said his name softly, again, “Jungkook?” Its like as soon as he heard the elder’s gentle voice he felt all his courage slip and the tears started to flow until he was sobbing uncontrollably on Jimin’s doorstep as he tried to explain, “T-they say its time. They can’t d-do anything ex-except,” he sniffled loudly and continued shakily, “ make it easier f-for her. M-mom she,” Jungkook looked up trying to swallow and speak normally when he felt warm hands holding him tightly, chin resting on his shoulder. The shorter male rubbed Jungkook’s back slowly, “ Oh god, I’m so sorry”he whispered, his voice quivering. He hugged Jimin back, holding him close and letting the remaining tears flow without fighting them, hoping his hyung’s warmth would calm him down. 

“They’ll d-do it tom-orrow, s-she’ll b-be gone…”

And a fresh round of tears followed.

“Jungkook…” Jimin said quietly and pulled away a little to gaze into his eyes.

“Come in.” he said and pulled him inside, closing the door behind him. Jimin held him by the arm and sat him down on the nearest couch.

“D-do you need anything? Water?” he asked as he bent down on his knees in front of Jungkook and wiped his tears, caressing his face carefully, as if scared he wouldn’t like it. Or perhaps, Jungkook thought, his hyung didn’t want to create a wrong impression on the younger’s mind. The very impression that had led Jungkook to confess to his hyung and run away without hearing his answer because he knew that it would never happen. He shook his head no but involuntarily leaned into Jimin’s touch a little, closing his eyes for a moment before he said, 

“H-hyung, can I stay he-here for a bit?”

“Of course.” Jimin whispered as he stood up to sit beside him. His eyes stayed on Jungkook and he slowly raised his hand to rub the back of Jungkook’s in a comforting manner. Jungkook turned his hand and intertwined their fingers. Jungkook needed to. He just did.

“I’m s-sorry I really don’t know why im being like this. I- I’ve known for a while that she-” he gasped and Jimin gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, “ That she wont make it.” he finished, his voice just barely audible and his eyes watering yet again. Before he knew it his hyung was holding him again, his arms thrown around the younger’s shoulders,the side of his face pressing against Jungkook’s and he closed his eyes.

“No, no. Jungkook nobody should go through this alone, I- I know what its like, to lose somebody you love so much and I know what it can do to you. You don’t have to be afraid to show what you feel” he spoke slowly and softly and his tone made Jungkook wonder what it was that made him experience something similar and at the same he wondered what he had done in his past life to deserve to meet an angel like Jimin, but he didn’t say anything. 

They sat there for what seemed like an eternity, the tears coming in waves as he thought of random memories with his mother and of what it would be like to move on and Jimin hurried to comfort him each time, occasionally crying silently as well.

It was about four hours later when Jimin spoke up, “Jungkook, have you had anything since morning?”

“I’m not really hungry.” His voice sounded raspy after hours of crying and he cleared his throat-it hurt to do so and grimaced. Jimin frowned and started to stand up when Jungkook held him back by tugging on his arm, surprising himself with the words “ Don’t go.” 

Jimin smiled a little, “ You need to eat something. I’m right here…”

“Please, just stay.”

 And so he did. Jimin sat beside him again, smoothing out his hair before pulling his hands back, thinking it was inappropriate for him to do so. Little did he know that it was him and these little things that were keeping Jungkook alive at the moment. Jungkook told his mind to just accept that Jimin loved him as a dongsaeng and just that. He felt pangs of pain in his chest at the thought but he didn’t say anything.

 Jungkook frowned a little, for a disturbing thought had made its way into his mind, 

“Have you had anything since morning?” he asked quietly and Jimin replied too quickly“ Oh I’m fine”

“Ugh.” He grunted, burying his face in his hands, “ I’m sorry, I’m just so self-centred and I-” he looked up, “ I should go”

Jimin yelped and stood up, holding him down, his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders,

“Jesus, you could’ve just asked me to eat. Wait, I’ll get something for both of us.” he muttered and walked over to the kitchen.

Jungkook took this time to stand up and stretch out a little, he ran a hand through his hair. Why was Jimin being so nice to him? Shouldn’t he have felt disgusted, just like Jungkook’s father had, when he’d found out that he was gay and that he liked him? It was probably because he was just a beautiful person who probably blamed himself for Jungkook’s onesided crush. Jimin was just too nice, too lovable. Soon Jimin returned with two cups full of what Jungkook guessed was hot chocolate and went back to get a bowl full of chocolate chip cookies.

“Do you want cookies too?” he shook his head no. They drank in silence. His throat felt better. His heart didn’t.

4:00pm

“Have you told your dad?”

“He knows.” He instantly felt himself tense at the mention of his father.

“Is he coming?”

“Do you think my dad cares?” he asked, trying to mask the bitterness and word his thoughts without conveying his emotions. He wasn’t fooling anybody, Jimin knew him too well. Just not enough to know how much Jungkook liked him.

Jimin looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it. Jungkook understood. Just like he understood the meaning behind every little gesture this boy, his ‘friend’ of two years, made. 

“What?” he asked 

Jimin paused a bit before he said, “ I don’t think its like that. Maybe,” he looked up at him timidly, “ maybe he does care, he did keep in touch and try to help you. He helped your mother.”

“I understand why you would assume so. But he did just leave her out here to die while he is enjoying his life in London so,” he said a bit more harshly than he intended because Jimin visibly shrunk back into his seat at his words and Jungkook immediately regretted it. JImin spoke again, softly, “He got her admitted in that hospital so she’d get better not for her to die” And he couldn’t help but scoff.

“ You’ve got to give him a chance. Even though he’s a total for not accepting homouality.” Jimin said it softly, even though he sounded way too bitter when he completed what he wanted to say.

He failed to undertand this angel who saw the best in everything but he knew he couldn’t dare to hope for what he had said to be true.

They settled into an awkward silence after that which only broke when Jungkook said, 

“ I’m sorry. I just cant let him hurt me again.” His voice cracked and Jimin nodded and hurried to say, “ its okay. Im sorry”, knowing fully well about his rocky relationship with his father. His father had mended his relations with him only to break it off again, once he found out about his son’s preferences.

“ I should really go, you must have stuff to do.” Jungkook didn’t want to, not one bit. But he couldn’t take advantage of Jimin’s guilt.

“Kookie I can’t let you be alone so no, you’re not going.”

Jungkook choked back a sob. Never in his life for the last 15 years or so had he known the feeling of being loved and wanted. His grandparents had passed away before he was five, his father left home when he was seven because his mother was just too busy and never once did he think about his son. His mother really was busy and even though she did love him, he couldn’t help but feel like a burden to her. At least she stuck with him the whole time, she was all he had. And now she was dying of cancer and he couldn’t really do anything about it, because he had known it for years now. He’d watched the life in her fade slowly and the only thing that remained now was plain misery and suffering.

 It was really no surprise that he had turned out to be an introvert at school and now college was just the same. The quiet boy who didn’t really say anything or rather, the others assumed that he had nothing to say. That is until Jimin came along and changed things. Jimin fixed what was broken inside him with his bright smiles, ridiculously optimistic mentality and unusual ways of dealing with life. For the first time in a long time, he felt wanted. He felt cared for. He felt loved.  

6:30pm

They sat on the couch, occassionaly getting up for bathroom breaks, but they stayed right there. Among other things, Jungkook wondered why hadn’t this beautiful boy spoken about the ‘incident’ from a week ago, since he’d called Jungkook so many times-probably just to apologize-he quickly thought, as Jimin started to nod off to the monotonous sound of the television playing in the background. They’d switched it on maybe an hour back, who knew? He’d lost track of the time.

He gently pulled Jimin’s head onto his shoulder and sighed at the comfortable warmth. It was about an hour later when his tiny hyung started to shake a little; he was getting cold. Jungkook stirred, arms reaching around to find a blanket but on finding nothing close enough he decided to hold him instead. Jimin sighed in his sleep and held him back, clutching on his sweater with small hands.

Jungkook’s mind settled into deep thoughts while his face rested on top of Jimin’s head. Before he knew it he was crying again.

9:00pm

Jungkook lazily looked up at the clock, having temporarily escaped the torture his mind was putting him through. He grunted, angry at himself for being too weak to handle everything alone. He shifted, trying to stand up without waking the angel he had been holding close to himself. He failed in his attempt because soon Jimin woke up, eyes fluttering as they adjusted to the dazzling light in the room. The both of them sat up quickly.

“What- oh. Kookie I’m sorry I- are you okay? I fell asleep er, sorry” Jimin couldn’t seem to decide what he wanted to say first. Jungkook wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but Jimin’s ears seemed to redden.

“mm fine. I was just leaving.”

“ Not before you eat something.” he replied sleepily, rubbing his eyes and making his way over to the kitchen before Jungkook could say a single word of protest.

The ate in silence for a while. Jungkook was the first one to talk.

“Are you tired?” he asked quietly, pointing at the bags beneath Jimin’s eyes.

Jimin looked startled before he replied, “ Do I look ugly?”

Jungkook smiled and shook his head no. How could he even ask that? He could never look ugly to him. Jimin was beautiful.

“I have been staying up the last few nights, working on my assignment for Biology. I’d left it till the last minute, I hate myself for being so lazy ugh.” Jimin pouted.

Jungkook smiled a little, he’d finished his a week ago.

“I should probably leave.”

Jimin looked conflicted. “But Jungkook, you shouldn’t be alone. “

“Do you want me to stay here?” he asked, raising his eyebrows a little, tone challenging. The both of them couldn’t deny the tension that had appeared between them when Jungkook had confessed and now it was back again, after a week of not speaking.

“Why not? Just stay for a little longer.” Jimin had added quickly when he saw the younger visibly pale at his suggestion.  

“Why?” surely, he couldn’t be that cruel as to let Jungkook stay in his comfort for a night, only to break his heart again.

“Because I know I wouldn’t wanna be alone if something like that were to happen.” His expression was dark, voice serious but as soft as ever. Jungkook sighed. Jimin really cared. He was making it extremely difficult for Jungkook to get over his heartbreak.

“I’ll be fine.” Jungkook said bitterly.

“Go look at yourself in the mirror and say that to me again.” He lazily opened up the selfcam of his phone to stare at himself. His hair was a mess, eyes were bloodshot and he looked as pale as a person could get.

“so I look like a zombie, big deal.” He grumbled but he stayed anyway. 

10:30pm

…

“Maybe you should stay the night.” Jimin mused quietly, from his seat beside the younger. Jungkook had been dozing on and off for a while now, head dropping to his shoulder before snapping up in attention only to fall back again.

“You go to bed, I’ll be here.” He was too tired to argue now, the day’s events overwhelming him.

“You’ll run away in the middle of the night.”

“I won’t.”

“I know you will.”

“So I will. What are you planning on doing about it?”

Jimin sat up straighter, “ I’ll watch you.” Jungkook snorted lightly

“Hyung, go to bed."

“Jungkook, go to bed.”

“No hyung I will stay right here.” Jungkook closed his eyes stubbornly. He did not want to trouble his hyung, specially when he needed his sleep. God knows Jimin liked to overwork himself.

Jimin sighed in defeat and then shuffled over to his bedroom. He came back with a blanket in his hands and covered him with it. Gesturing for Jungkook to lie down all the way and sleep.

“what about you, you’ll be cold.” He looked up at his hyung, frowning a little, as he brought his legs up on the couch as Jimin had made it clear he was planning on sitting and watching the younger.

“I was just going to get one for myself too.” Jimin said it like it was obvious and reached down to press a finger against Jungkook’s forehead, between his scrunching eyebrows.

He reached out with an arm and pulled Jimin down on the couch. He slowly repositioned himself (ignoring Jimin’s widened eyes) so that he was sitting up again and wrapped his arms around his beautiful hyung, his face nuzzled up against Jimin’s neck.

“Lets just share.” He whispered. Jungkook couldn’t see the elder’s face as his heartbeat increased, he tried to undertsand what Jimin was thinking. He didn’t want to scare Jimin away with his feelings, he couldn’t lose him too. What was he thinking?!

To his surprise, he felt Jimin nod. Without a word, the elder pulled Jungkook up by holding onto his wrist and they walked over to Jimin’s bedroom in silence and quickly settled down under the blanket. The elder male studied the quivering lips of the boy before him as they lay at an arm’s distance, Jungkook being careful not to touch Jimin. All Jimin wanted to do was make the younger stop being afraid, to stop him from running away. He wished Jungkook would say something, tell him how he felt, to reach out to him, so that Jimin could make it all better.

Jungkook's phone pinged with the arrival of a message. He frowned deeply when he realised what it said. His father would be here tomorrow.

“Hyung…”

“hmm?”

“I’m scared.”

That was enough for Jimin to reach over and hug the younger. 

Jungkook drifted off to sleep in his hyung’s arms.

…

The next morning, Jungkook woke up to the realisation of the impending tasks on his to-do-list.

Help your mom die.

Face your of a father

Say goodbye to your Jiminie forever.

The thought was enough for him to tear up again and without thinking he held the angel closer than he had already been. He pressed his lips to the elder’s forehead before carefully getting up as he untangled himself from Jimin. Much to Jungkook’s relief (and disappointment), the boy didn’t wake up. He sobered up half-heartedly in the bathroom and hurried to leave but only after he tucked Jimin in nicely, kissing him on the forehead again, saying his goodbyes.

He had made his way to the apartment door when Jimin woke up, “Jungkook?”

Jungkook froze. He turned around slowly.

” Should I come with you?” Jimin’s voice was laced with concern as he stood at his room’s door,

Jungkook shook his head, “ No, I just want to be alone with her, one last time...” and I can’t lose the both of you all at once.

Jimin nodded in understanding. Jungkook had turned around to leave when Jimin spoke again, “Jungkook?”

“hmm?” he responded, already on the brink of tears

“I’ll be right here. I’ll always be here for you” And Jungkook realised that Jimin meant it. 

His heart melted and a teardrop rolled down. He decided he couldn’t control himself anymore and closed the distance between them in three quick strides and kissed Jimin. It was just a chaste kiss on the lips, but it was enough to make Jungkook go crazy. Jimin’s lips were so soft, it was everything Jungkook had dreamed of and more. He’d done it, he’d lost his hyung forever, he thought, when Jimin pulled away, surprised, but then he proceded to hold Jungkook’s face and pull the younger in for another, getting on his tiptoes to do so, his hands moving to rest on Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook’s heart pumped in overtime. Their lips moved together in perfect harmony, softly, slowly-like they were made for the other.

“Hyung?” Jungkook asked breathlessly

“You didn’t even wait for my answer Kookie, you didn’t let me tell you and then I didn’t know how to bring it up…” Jimin stared at his hands as he spoke, his cheeks turning crimson. Jungkook sighed at his own stupidity and wrapped his arms around the shorter male’s waist causing Jimin to look up and into his streaming eyes.

“You liked me?” he asked in disbelief.

“Kookie, you just ran away, didn’t answer my calls, I thought you thought it was all a mistake, that you didn’t really-” Jungkook didn’t let Jimin finish because he was kissing him again.

“Thank you hyung…I-I love you so much” Jungkook whispered, his forehead resting against Jimin’s, as more and more tears rolled down.

“I love you too Kookie. I love you.”

…

He left for the hospital, dread settling inside him. But he knew that no matter how difficult things got, no matter how much pain he was in, he’d be fine, that he would make it, because the angel who watched over him had promised to be there.